Ampresus

@Paradoxed Not really at all. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now. Good news though, she’s no longer a virgin She’s very cute and innocent. Honestly I’m surprised somebody of my age has done literally nothing yet so far. I like her, but love will take time to develop. I feel like it’d be a waste to discard her just for a lot of cheap sex. Yet at the same time, the attention I’ve been getting from other women does have an effect on me.

@Schizophonia Care to explain why?

Hello everyone. I come to you regarding the question of whether or not you would recommend sleeping around. I just turned 20 years old and am now single. I'm currently seeing a girl, but as we men tend to do I get urges. She's a virgin herself and, like most women, wants a stable relationship. I don't want to deceive this girl, especially given the fact that if I were to use her for her body I would quite literally ruin sex for her. Yet, I have to be honest and say I have urges to sleep around. People always tell me to have fun while I'm still young. Especially recently I've noticed how pick up and cold approaching has become so much easier for me. Hell, girls started approaching me. They flirt with and tease me, without my initiative. Something I could only dream of back when I was a teenager. I don't respond to these attempts because of the girl I'm seeing, but she is leaving soon for a month and honestly I just want to fuck. With that primal urge of mine expressed, obviously I know the health dangers that come with that. Besides that though, I know the stigma around it and how damaging it can be to one's self-image, self-esteem and dignity if they just give their body away mindlessly. There's a reason Leo put it in his Top 250 Traps video after all. It also just intuitively doesn't sound right to me. I was raised religious (Islam) but I have given up those beliefs. Yet, I feel like religion nailed that part pretty well. Maybe don't save yourself all the way till marriage, but sleeping around shouldn't be a habit. So I ask you: what are your thoughts on sleeping around? Would you say it's best to enjoy life that way while you can? Or do you like settling for committed relationships more? Why so? And how about one night stands? I have had only one so far and it was pretty mediocre. I mean I enjoyed it, but in my mind I hyped it up so much that it could never meet those expectations. It was my first time picking a girl up from a club and bringing her back to my hotel, so I was already way too excited. Once it came down to it however, I found it okay. Not something I would consider actively pursuing now, given that I have had better sex with exes of mine.

Recently I feel like I have been able to tap a lot more into the True Self.. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not. For example at work, I'll be walking behind a colleague of mine where all of the sudden it just hits me. Other times, like right now, I can focus deeply and get the sense of it. If I focus and self-inquire deeply, I feel empty. Like I feel like I hit my core and there is nothing there. My body starts twitching a bit and sometimes I blink really fast. It never lasts that long. Sometimes a burst of energy comes and I can't help but let some tears out. My sense of ''I" becomes less solid. Right after these experiences I get a certain feeling of calm and bliss. My thoughts and emotions become less compelling. Throughout my whole body I get this feeling of aliveness. I feel like there are people here with more experience than me in this field, so please help me understand this. I don't want to fool myself. If this has nothing to do with enlightenment or True Self, please let me know. If you have any other questions which could help determine what this is, please shoot. Thanks in advance.

@integral How does one stop valuing one thing and start valuing another? How does one live for higher values than these? It's an idea my therapist already told me about but I have yet to grasp. Because deep in my heart I am just lusting over some girls and not at all thinking about higher values. Is it really just waking up one day and deciding girls are no longer a priority but Truth is? Or justice, peace, joy?

@universe It definitely is and if I were single or not seeing somebody already I would have never posted this topic. But since I am seeing somebody, and as stated committed infidelity before in a relationship, I feel like it is a problem for me.

@Evelyna Yes this is true and yes I'm young. I have experienced love before. My relationship prior to the girl I am currently seeing was like a year and three months. The reason that ended was because I committed infidelity. These same urges got to me before during a solid relationship. Now granted, I started losing feelings for my ex anyway, but that was no excuse to do what I did. Hence why I am posting this topic.

Yesterday me and this girl from work I've been seeing for like 2 weeks, were planning to meet up before and after work. We're keeping our thing on the low for now. I had a great time with her. We made out a lot in my car. But something happened during work which I feel like I need to work on: As I was serving tables, there was this big table with a good like 12 people. Among which a very pretty Turkish girl with light blue eyes. Now even if I see a pretty girl casually, I don't think that much of it and move on. But we kept making eye contact. Everytime I'd serve their table I'd notice she was looking straight at my eyes. Anyway, didn't think much of it. Maybe she was just looking at her food being served right? Later, as all of her friends have left she leaves for the bathroom. The bathroom is like all the way at the end of the restaurant, so she has to pass all the areas where we, the waiters, get the orders on the dining plates. Obviously she runs into me and looks. Now I keep making strong eye contact, again her eyes were beautiful. And I noticed she laughed as she passed me. So I looked behind me after she passed, to which later she looked back and smiled a lot. I called after her, asking her to come back, but I think her friend was pressuring her to move along. She stopped for a second and wanted to come, she was smiling and all, but her friend dragged her away. You guys see my problem? Once a pretty girl gives me attention I get lost. Like it gives me a certain satisfaction I cannot explain. Especially given that colleagues could see it. I recognize this is a weird thing. Some sort of superiority complex, "look at me I can pull whatever I want, unlike you guys" to my male colleagues and "look, I have plenty of options" to my female colleagues. It sounds so stupid and dumb when typing it. The novelty and excitement made me happy. At the end nothing happened, but how can I make sense of this and deal with this? I recognize this is dumb and can be dangerous. For both my relationship with the girl I'm seeing now and potential future relationship. I recognize this is very much my Red side showing. I don't hold the thoughts I just explained as "true" or morally good, not at all. I feel like I have an underlying issue of wanting attention from women. Perhaps self-esteem issues. Thanks for the responses in advance.

Hello everyone, Currently I'm going through a difficult time with my girl. This made me realise that if she leaves me, I have nobody. Like no close group of friends and people who want to hang out with me. She made me realise this, because recently she has been making friends. Especially one friend who consistently, almost everyday, asks her to hang out. I wish I could have something like that. A friend who wants to train with me, hang out with me, go out to dinner with me, walk through nature with me. Somebody I can have a lot of laughs with. I'll be honest, the fact she got this and I don't has made me very depressed and suicidal lately. I feel like I will never have friends the same way other people do and it brings out the worst thoughts in me. Today is a different day however. I want to be more proactive instead of pitying myself and contemplating death because I can't make friends. I have no trouble approaching women. I don't have that kind of social anxiety if you know what I mean. I'm not afraid to walk up to someone and ask them something. I would just like to know how I approach men in a friendly way. In way that which they could sense a potential friendship forming. Where does one approach potential friends? So far I have taken some actions myself. I started a new job as a waiter at a sushi restaurant. The job self sucks and doesn't earn much, but I applied for it because I want to become friends with the co-workers there. I have also once complimented a guy in the tram. We talked a bit and seemed to get along, so I asked his number. Yet, I haven't contacted him ever since. It felt too much like pick up. A bit too off. Fake almost. I'm turning 20 soon. I want to meet people of my age. Any suggestions are welcome.

@Lyubov Thanks for the kind words. You say you experienced the same thing, how did you get over it? How long did it take for you? What did you do to get over it? She will be leaving my house on July 1st, so then I can start to heal properly and maybe move on from her.

@UnbornTao Thanks for the encouraging words. I will try what you're saying. I'm really hoping this will wave off of me at some point. I asked an old high school friend about how she dealt with learning that her boyfriend cheated on her, and she said it took her a good half a year to get over him. Mind you, they were together for 2 years. @integral Thanks for the encouragement. I've been hearing this a lot from people the last few days. My guy friends all say that it's basically doomed and if they were in my shoes they would just act distant until she leaves and then move on. But then I talked to the doctor and he said, now that we're equal, we can just try again and see what happens. I'm not sure how to proceed, but I guess once she leaves it will be clearer for me. @thierry See I would like to believe you. I really do. But the fact that her molly trip made her accept what happened more and be able to still enjoy life makes me think I need it to. It's already difficult dealing with that information about her cheating, but to see her completely unbothered by the whole situation almost makes me feel like it could at least help me too. Then again, she says she still suffers immensely but her brain is shutting off to try to protect her from this trauma. I don't know how true that is. All I know is I cry a lot and am very emotional, meanwhile she doesn't seem that emotional about all of it at all. @Basman Thanks for the kind words and you're right, she admitted that in that moment for her the relationship was already over. She just didn't have the balls to tell me, but would rather instead talk about "needing space" only to cheat in revenge. Also, when I say she was my only friend, I really mean it. I don't have boys to reach out to. Nobody who wants to go hiking with me. Hence the feelings of loneliness, self-harm and suicide. Because she somehow got off better than this than me. She actually met new people, made friends, is starting to enjoy her work and all this. And I'm stuck with nobody. Nobody who texts me how I'm doing, asks me to go out for the evening, train with me or whatever. I am trying though. I reached out to old friends, hung out a couple times with them and am going out with one tomorrow. Not saying all hope is lost, but just trying to explain how it all makes me feel.

@Ulax Do you happen to have a link? I'm having trouble finding a video discussing it online. Thanks for responding, I will try it out.

@Reciprocality Thank you for responding. We already have had several talks, both together and also with my mom, and ultimately decided we still want to try in this relationship. She will be moving out July 1st, so then I can have proper space from here. Because right now, living with her is not easy. It's not easy to not be able to confide in her, take care of her and her of me. It feels like we're just friends with some bad blood between us. I'm a very physical person and the fact she won't allow me to be that with her makes the situation worse. @Reciprocality I truly get this. Like I have known about this enlightenment stuff since 2019. I know it takes time, lots of experience and insights, 10 000 hours of yoga/meditation/self-inquiry as Leo would say, but I feel like this situation is pushing me towards confronting reality. I'm getting more insights every other day. On the days I don't feel like harming or offing myself, I get such profound insights and deep meditative experiences. Just to name an example: a couple days ago I wrote in my journal how I am not my thoughts and emotions. Fundamentally, all the evil negative thoughts and emotions I am holding are NOT me. I know this deep down, I just want to learn how to actualize it I suppose. Hence why I try Mooji guided meditations to help me with this.

I cheated on my girlfriend while on holiday and deeply regret. I called her immediately after and confessed, to which she obviously cried and was very angry. Next couple of days she kept texting me to come back earlier cause she felt lonely and I rescheduled my ticket to come. But then she just blocked me. Everywhere. Since she forgot to log out of her e-mail on my iPad, I could see that she installed Tinder. Before she blocked me on WhatsApp, she shared a story in the middle of the night in some random place talking about an Uber. I even saw she ordered food to this random place in the middle of the night. Ever since I have been completely broken. When I came back and asked her like 3 times about it, she finally confessed to having cheated on me. It took her 2 extra days to confess it was out of revenge. She cheated on me with a guy she spoke for one day on Tinder. He was 10 years older than her. They did molly together and after the trip fucked, at like 4 AM. She said he helped her talk about everything that happened. But I'm not stupid. I know a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on. And that was his full intention. She claims she regrets doing it, but it helped her accept what happened and changed her life. She goes out a lot more now, tries to make new friends, loves techno music all of a sudden, wants to go raving (while on drugs) and is even willing to give our relationship a try again. The problem for me is that I feel too much. I love her too much. And I feel like I lost her. Thinking about her cheating on me makes me angry. Absolutely sick to my stomach. The fact I had to drag it out of her makes me despise her. I regret what I did, but I immediately confessed. I offered her to just break up, but instead she wanted "space" and proceeded to cheat on me in return. I fucking hate her. I talked to many friends I know and they all agreed that whatever I did was wrong, but she stooped down to my level. She made whatever was fixable, infinitely worse. She could have just moved on, broken up and THEN do what she wanted to do with him. But I feel like she likes to keep me around. When I told my mom what she did, she was devastated and very pissed at her. We currently all live in my mom's house. What I find funny is that, from all this the only thing that bothers my ex (we're still trying to work on our relationship, so maybe girlfriend?) is that I told my mom what she did. That I told my mom she did drugs and cheated on me in revenge. Not how I feel, not how fucked up it was, not how she could have avoided this if she told me straightaway "I don't want to see you again" and then proceed to live her life. But whatever. Ever since I have been in constant fight-or-flight. My heart is in my throat 24/7. I keep thinking of harming and offing myself. My loneliness has increased significantly. She was my closest friend, only friend really, for so long. If she leaves, and she leaves on the 1st of July to her new apartment, I don't think I will have many days left. I sought help and am seeing a doctor today, but I'll be a honest a part of me has already given up. As I said, currently we're still trying to make it work. But there's no intimacy besides brief kisses, cause it's too much for her. Despite her saying she loves me and wants this to work, she doesn't feel like my girl anymore. I loved her so much and deeply regret what I did, but after what she did the innocent image I had of her shattered. I could never call her family my family, because they all agreed that whatever she did was justified. It wasn't right they claim, but in the moment it was justified. I have never felt this many emotions at the same time. The only thing that brought me a little bit of peace is Mooji. His guided meditations regarding Pure Awareness helped me a little bit, but I'm struggling to concentrate when I'm feeling and thinking all these things. I really wish and am trying to distinguish my identity from these thoughts and feelings. I want to reach enlightenment so this no longer bothers me. But everytime I meditate it comes up every 5 seconds and I can't stay present after the x amount of times it comes up. I'm trying to go out more, finishing the LP course and meditating whenever it comes up, but my life feels like a trainwreck. I have no LP, am switching majors in uni for the second time, found an average waiter job at a sushi restaurant and just train everyday. Now the girl of my life is gone, I feel like there's no point. I feel like I have nothing to live for. Nothing to look out for. I feel like I found love too early. Sex I can get anywhere, but the pure innocent love we had will always be ingrained in me. I will always think of this I feel like and it's torture. Pure torture. I look at porn and can only think of that guy fucking my girl in the way they do in those videos. I go outside and everywhere I went with her in the past reminds me of her. She's staying IN MY CITY. My damn city is now cursed. Even if we break up, I'll probably still run into her. I don't want to see her from a distance having another man. I wouldn't want to see her at all. Any advice is welcome. I'm having major urges to cut myself and jump off a bridge. I'm thinking of doing one last psychedelic before I decide to continue with those plans, either DMT or 2CB. Just to finally understand what you guys mean with God and Love etc. But anyway, tnx in advance for responding.

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 14 months now, but the last few months have been difficult for me. I keep getting urges to text, snapchat and flirt with other girls. It started with going on dating apps and getting matches that way, but now even in real life I've gotten numbers from girls through regular flirting. My girlfriend and I have traveled together, live together in my mom's house and both go to school/work/gym. We have so much in common, we've been together for so long, yet I keep getting these urges to see other people and I don't know why. No one has cheated or abused the other, hence why I'm asking you guys for help. Obviously I know that whatever I'm doing so far is bad, but I don't want it to get worse. I still care for her and wished I felt the same way about her as I did just a couple months ago. But we have argued a lot about various things and my resentment for her has grown. The thing is though: she does nothing inherently wrong. She's no abuser or straight up mess. It's just that her small behaviors annoy me and I know if I confront her about it we'll be fighting again. I guess I feel like she doesn't validate my feelings. Things like cutting me off while I'm talking, purposefully leaving a mess on my side of the bed or table, being ungrateful when I pick her up from work but at the same time expecting me to always be grateful for her. Her impatience and complaints, just in general not necessarily towards me, make me resent her. These small things make her less desirable to me sexually and as a result we don't have nearly as much sex as we used to. I feel like I'm heading towards a train-wreck. Yes I could just break up with her, but she is truly a one of a kind girl. I do love her. I don't want a relationship this strong to end. I helped her lose weight and got her into the gym. We have been overseas together. Her family loves me, mine loves her. Besides, I'd have to live with her for the foreseeable future since she can't just move out tomorrow. Her family doesn't live in this country, so she'll have to find a new place to rent all by herself.