Ampresus

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About Ampresus

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  • Birthday July 13

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    The Netherlands
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  1. @tsuki Yes I think that is clear now that I have mentioned this twice before. Glad it is for you too. I mean the next day there weren't any problems so I guess it worked.
  2. @tsuki Sorry man, but this sounds incredibly stupid. If someone makes clear that they are uncomfortable with their privacy being invaded, what is so hard about following through then? If somehow you can't, at least make that clear. So the person, who's privacy being invaded scares him, can break contact with you in peace. My bad for having feelings, of course. I apologize for wanting to have some privacy. (This again sounds incredibly stupid) I let it pass for this time. I changed the profile picture the next day to a laughing emoji with a middle finger.
  3. @tsuki The only thing it solved was not experiencing it again by the same people. See, I still don't know the perfect solution. Look before I don't think it was, but now I certainly think it is. Before, I didn't make myself always so clear, but this time I made myself perfectly clear. There were no questions when I made myself clear, just acknowledgements.
  4. @tsuki Not all of them. Many of them don't mind having these experiences like being taken pictures of by friends while doing your usual thing. At least that is what I think, since they never said that they didn't want that (unlike me, I clarified that I didn't want it). They never do, that is why I left many friend groups on the internet. Not so much that my privacy was violated (somtimes it was), but more like their behavior towards it made me want to leave them. I thought that making friends IRL would be much better, and in a certain sense it is, but people stay the fucking same. I sometimes don't see any difference between the people on the internet vs people IRL. Maybe people IRL are too much focussed on the internet rather than their surroundings.
  5. @tsuki 1. People can see me how they want to. In the open world they can look at me from all different angles, besides coming too close of course. I like to have my personal space as any other, but if it is necessary they can bend down and look at me from below. If you meant ''seeing me in a way'' in a figurative way instead of a literal way: Yes. Of course I have flaws, strong negative emotions, an addiction and Actualized.org in general is something I want to keep hidden from them. You have to understand that I am 14 years old. If I told my friends about this stuff they sooner or later would find this account with all of my secrets on it. There is a best friend I have which I wanted to introduce to all of this, but just when the time was right we didn't have as much contact as before. Mainly because he is in a different class and games all day. 2. Yes I do. I never take pictures of others, never do things with/to or say stuff about them without letting them know. I have respect to everyone who values their privacy and would never do something to them which I wouldn't like to happen to myself. There are people who just never speak up, but have these same privacy needs as me. I can usually see that from a distance and try to play as cool as possible on that field. 3. If my friends saw this post many consequences would come. First: They would know about Leo. All this stuff on Actualized.org. All the self-help, meditation, serious emotional problems etc. What they would think about me? Probably interested or annoyed. Because of Actualized.org I see many dysfunctionalities in my friends lives, but I never try to point them out. I am no teacher and therefore will not try to teach anyone anything. I simply am a seeker here. If they discovered this entire forum and the channel, they would understand what I am doing but also be kind of ''attacked'' with the hard truth that is here. They would be confronted with all of their problems and I think that they would only be able to handle that if they found Actualized.org on their own. Not by me. I did find it on my own. Second: They would know about how I think. I have a journey on this forum. They would know about my thoughts all the way back to 2 months ago. I have shared many things here because I know no one on this forum knows me IRL. I need advice and therefore ask it here. I don't want them to find my journey or the questions I ask here. 4. What do you mean with this last question?
  6. 06-12-18 Hello everyone. I would like to start with this: I need to stop watching porn asap. The addiction is getting worse. I received ''The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment'', ''Emotion Code: How to Release Your Trapped Emotions for Abundant Health, Love and Happiness'' and ''Ego is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent'' and have already ''The Anatomy of Loneliness'' in my booklist ready to be bought. But I need ''Your Brain on Porn'' probably more. I tried many times to quit, but it seems impossible after a few days. Currently I am reading ''The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'' and I must say that it is a very good book. I really am enjoying it so far. Yesterday, something I see as an betrayal, happened to me on WhatsApp. I won't explain it all here, but here is the link to my post about it: Meditating has been going better and better. I am trying a new position so my foot won't be sleeping so much. I can literally be mindful for long periods of time. I can become lost in how reality is so special. It is actually incredible. And guess what? I have only been doing this for 2-3 months! I thought that results would come after a year or so. Maybe I am special, or we all are special Nothing else to say really. Take care everyone.
  7. @tsuki Privacy for me means: Not doing anything with me without my permission, not doing anything to me without my permission, not sharing information about me without permission and not doing stupid stuff like taking pictures of me without my permission. There is still so much you can do. You delete your own account and make a new one or simply leave the platform. You can change IP-addresses in emergency cases. In the offline world you can't hide forever, at least not as easily, but in the online world you certainly can. No biggy.
  8. @Hellspeed I swear did you have some kind of awakening the last few weeks? Your replies have changed dramatically recently nice job man
  9. @Mu_ yes sir. I will try to accept it. And about that flirting thing: I know she likes me in that way. Maybe it is her way of expressing it like that. I don’t like her, and now I can’t even stand her. But I will try to accept. Thanks for the advice.
  10. Hello everyone. After reading about taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, I all of the sudden got betrayed. I am in a friend group where we do everything friends do basically. I personally like my privacy. I don’t like being taken pictures of by my friends. Something they do to each other in weird ways sometimes. Look, group pictures are fine, but these guys take pictures of each other during lunch and that kind of stuff. I hate that. One of the reasons I keep my identity mostly hidden on the internet is because I love my privacy. I don’t want to be bothered personally by these kinds of people. Now, even though I told this girl 2 times before that I wouldn’t like it if she did this, she sent an embarrassing picture of mine and later on made it the groups profile picture. The picture isn’t the biggest problem here: The betrayal is. I warned her the first time and actually didn’t expect that she would listen. Now she all of the sudden still does it. Like I don’t matter or something. Whenever these kinds of “scandals” happen as I like to call them, I leave the friend group. On the internet I could do this randomly and nobody could do anything about it. Since I started my journey here on Actualized.org, my friends are now all in my real life world, and damn it is so different. On the internet I am a master at hiding myself, IRL people can spy on me and take pictures of me whenever they feel like it. This is also why I hate the rules on this. This is so much BS. They can apparently do that since it is an open building. Although I don’t know if a school is an open building (the pic was taken during class). Basically, I hate her and she doesn’t know. I just stopped chatting. Never thought these kinds of betrayal would occur in my life. Arvice will be highly wanted. Thanks in advance Take care.
  11. @winterknight that explains a lot, thank you for responding.
  12. @FredFred Wauw never seen someone showing so much interest in me. It all started when I looked up “meditation” on Netflix. I came to “The Secret”, and when I looked that up on YT I came on Leo’s channel. I didn’t understand his latest videos and exactly then came to the video called: “What Is Misunderstood About Islam”. I was raised up as a sunni and therefore was interested in what he had to say. I loved how Leo talked about it and decided to watch more of his videos. I have always been interested in Buddhism after I learnt about meditation. One day I want to research Buddhism, but before that I wanted to do what Leo said in “Advice For High School & College Students - The Keys To Mastering Life”. Turns out that I already did most of what Leo was talking about, besides finding my life purpose and meditating. So I started watching his meditation video and later on his shamanic breathing video. Now I meditate once a day for 30 min (for the last 2 months) and do shamanic breathing every Friday for 30 min aswell (for the last 7 weeks) You can look up my journal on this forum called “From the perspective of a teen who doesn’t understand” if you are more interested in me or my thought process. Especially the introduction post is interesting to read.
  13. Hello everyone. I am a 14 year old boy who started meditating 2 months ago. The last few sessions I have had random laughs and tears. I have no clue why really. The laughs might be explainable. Recently I got many insights and by every insight I just laugh. The tears however: I don’t know. I never am really emotional or laugh so much that tears roll down my eyes. It just happens randomly and stops after the first or second tear.
  14. 02-12-2018 Hello everyone. Today I finished ''Our Inner Ape'' by Frans de Waal and am about to start with ''The Suble Art of Not Giving a F*ck'' by Mark Manson. School gave me some stress, but I guess that is part of life. Sports are going well. Today is the birthday of the friend of my crush, who has a crush on me actually. She has a twin brother and both got a special post on Instagram from my crush. After being jealous for 2 min, I realized how pointless it was. I guess I am growing my friends. Currently listening to Blue/Orange music because it sounds good. I barely have listened to music the last few weeks. My crush turns out to be an ex-hippie and might just be above me on the Spiral. Even though she probably doesn't know about the Spiral. I asked her about some contacts she has with hippies, she asked why I needed them, I said ''for some problems ;)'' (in a WhatsApp group with friends). Next day we went to the cinema with those same friends and after the movie went somewhere to eat. After keeping her mouth shut for a few minutes she randomly asked about this again. I noticed how many times she does this when something is bothering her. It means that the night before she has atleast thought about my question for a few mins. Why else would it randomly come out of her mouth? After we got home, I sent her a message about why I asked that question. She gave me some basic information about hippies. They basically are masters in self-acceptance, although my crush didn't exactly say that. I don't think she knows that word at all. She used to meditate when she was a hippie herself. Those 3 books still haven't arrived and I am already considering to buy ''The Anatomy of Loneliness'' by Teal Swan. If you didn't know yet, I discovered that I struggle with loneliness. During all this time I learnt how people are too stuck in their minds, which causes things like suffering. Being mindful helped me get over some loneliness, but I really want to know what Teal Swan has to say about it. That is all for now. Take care.
  15. @ExodiaGearCEO Thanks for responding. Beautiful quote btw, I guess sacrifices are needed to please the future me.