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I'd be really interested to hear more about this, either on this thread or elsewhere. Do you have a journal? Also, I'm glad suicide is not currently high on your agenda. I hope it stays that way for you.

LSD really fucks up my mental clarity and obliterates my ego (every time after peaks I have to re-assemble the ego). I can't think/contemplate properly with it or there's no "someone" to experience some mind-blowing states of consciousness. Also I experience a more zen/male-like type of love with LSD, but with MDMA it was an extremely intense Christ/feminine-like love. LSD is a very flexible substance, and I agree with better intention and training I can get there with it. Recently I got a "device" for committing suicide and planned to do so this weekend, MDMA made me re-think that))) It showed me that it would be a very selfish action on my part and cause insane suffering for my mother. Last LSD trip did not alleviate my desire to die at all, since it makes me realize it's all an illusion/nothing. Realizing that everything's a mental game/illusion when you're living a hellish life isn't fun. It adds up to insanity aspect. Also looks like this MDMA trip alleviated some of my social anxiety barriers. After it's peak I got MANY insights on the devilish ways I treat other people. MDMA is certainly not a top-weapon for spirituality, but has many unique benefits very few talk about (since it's a party drug).

What is Leo's stance on vulnerability? Say you're vulnerable/open with someone you want to have as a partner, is that good or bad? Would it be considered 'victim behavior'? All inner children are victim selves (Even the converse is true). And, everyone has an inner child as part of being human (cuz childhood trauma is part of being human). When you shame people for being victims, you're just deepening their emotional wounding to begin with. I think it's an abusive thing to do in a relationship! What do yall think? Also, we're a social species and we need each other. There's a difference between taking responsibility for your life and denying your need for someone to take responsibility for your life (and trying to meet that need yourself). I want a relationship in which both of us are taking responsibility for each other's life and our lives are integrated with each other. Does wanting this come under 'victim mentality'? Always remember that emotional needs are more important to the human body than physical needs. That's why people become martyrs, stop eating and drinking after losing a loved one, commit suicide, etc. I'm seeing a lot people getting shamed here for showing their victim sides. Is expressing how you feel (however delusional it may be) considered weakness and being macho all the time considered strength here on this forum? I understand if you may not want to feel sorry for victims (it may make you feel weak or something), but that's exactly what they need! When you tell a victim you feel sorry for them, they begin to find their feet.

Hi @lightnessofbeing, you need to release your trauma and also experience how the situation all happened because of love. to do this do the following. firstly read this book called "keeping pain in the past" its an amazing book on healing trauma where it talks about how to release trauma you need to remember, feel, express, release and reframe in order to heal from trauma. step 1: (I RECCOMEND DOING THIS WHOLE EXERCISE WITH A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOTHERAPIST, you could do it solo but be careful !!!!) This letter must include, What happened, how it felt at the time, how it affected you since, What you are going to do to let it go. The first step is you must recall "what happened" and you must recall what the perpetrator of the trauma did, in agonizing detail. This part of the letter documents the part of your life that has been berried ---whatever comprises the content of your pain in the past. The goal for the first step of what happened is simple to understand but difficult to express. The greater the detail, the greater the immersion into the pain, and therefore the greater the opportunity for release and healing. Secondly, you must express how it felt to be you at the time. The greater the depth of feeling that you discuss, the greater the potential for healing. In the feeling chapter, I emphasized the need to feel your feelings fully. Its especially important as part of this exercise. All the feelings that have been trapped in your memory must be felt and expressed for release to occur. Horror, fear, hopelessness, vulnerability, panic, impending doom, and thoughts of death and suicide are all common emotions felt by the traumatized and all need to be written and included in this letter. Tears are often an integral part of expressing pain and horror. Step three---how this has affected the client since then---get the client to express how their youth innocence may have been stolen, how your ideas about love and family were permanently stained, or how their world became a dangerous place etc. In this part of the letter share how this part of this trauma(s) robbed me of my naïve smile and replaced it with a sense of fear and mistrust and with avoidance of eye contact. This second and third step of the letter is to allow you the opportunity to express in writing the deepest of human agony and attach words to feelings and sensations that have been virtually indescribably to this point. By expressing and releasing the pain, you will and can achieve healing.in the next part of the letter you must release for peace, in this part of the letter explains how you are going to let go of this traumatic event. The mere expression of emotional pain is not always curative. To release pain is to ultimately let go and letting go never condones the bad behavior, letting go is merely the release of pain. Letting go is a gift for yourself.in this part of the letter explain how you are going to let go of this situation and leave it in the past for good if you can. step 4: read this letter out loud to a train therapist who you trust and have built a relationship with (or you could do with a close friend or family member you trust but I personally recommend doing this with a trained therapist because there will be a lot of negative emotions arising and it is better to be with someone who can ground you and bring you back if you have flashbacks or something depending on how much it has affected you. but yes read this letter out loud to someone word to word in great detail. step 3: let a week pass and then watch Leos video on "what is love part 2" and "all criticism is untenable" and also used the information you learned in this weeks episode on self-love and contemplate how the whole situation happened because of love, how self-love works and that all criticism is untenable , this will help you contextualize reframe the situation in your mind, some psychedelics would really help in this part process !!! Id also recommend going to 5 or 6 reiki sessions for 5 or 6 weeks in a row and see how you feel off it in conjunction with all the other steps !!! hope this helps and sending much love to you !!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Go tell that to the shroom in your profile pic and see if it agrees with you. Going from loss of job -> CEO at most reduces a minuscule of suffering, if any. The reason why you disagree is because you've been brainwashed by the Capitalist upbringing you've had to believe CEOs have better lives and are in less suffering than people on the streets - and yet CEOs have the same, if not higher rate of suicide, early deaths and drug abuse as people living on the streets. God knows that the answer to people's suffering isn't manipulating the dream to suck up to the dogmas of capitalism. God knows its a mindset problem. And that's partly why the world is exactly the way it is. The world is already the best, beautiful, optimised for happiness the exact way it is right now. No not the world you're living in, I mean the world you go to when you focus on the present moment so hard that you forget who you are. Any other world than that found in the extreme depths of the present moment is as imaginary as the monster under your bed. And you wonder why, why God did you make a world with loss of jobs, illnesses, murders - simple. Because those things are as real as the monster under your bed. You dream them up every day, then complain when those dreams don't go the way you want. The solution isn't to shout and yell at that monster, the solution isn't to try and kill that monster(how can you kill a dream that you keep thinking about?) the solution is to stop believing in the dream. Same with poverty and illness. The solution isn't to try and cure poverty, nor is it to eradicate disease, its to stop believing in it in the first place. And yet its still valuable to eradicate disease, because God likes to create - but don't be fooled, you're not meant to eradicate disease to end suffering, you're meant to eradicate disease IF its a way for you to express who you want to be, who you are, you do it for the sake of helping God create.

I don't care that much whether a certain big industry caters to men or women or monkeys. All of it is totally out of my control. Let me remind you that there are also toxic femininity cultures in female-dominated industries. That's also out of my control. In my opinion, workers need more attention than customers who can just avoid the products or services. In game industry, men rat each other out to managers, so they cannot form unions. In some female-dominated industries, women harass each other to suicide and depression. Just adding more women to game industry doesn't make it better if the quality of women you add to it is not better than the quality of men in game industry. Given that game industry tends to attract shitty men, it can easily attract shitty women, too.

I’m not saying your perspective is wrong. To me, the perspective is narrow and you are extrapolating. I feel bad for a boy or girl that is discouraged from developing their masculine traits. And I feel bad for a boy or girl that is discouraged from developing their feminine traits. Yet I don’t correlate male = masculine and female = feminine as best. It is just as disappointing to me to see a boy discouraged from expressing masculine as a boy discouraged from expressing feminine. Yet in most cultures, it the suppression of males expressing feminine is more common, so that is my bigger concern. You seem to be hyper focused on the loss of masculinity. What about a young boy raised in a house with a masculine father who learned masculine traits? This boy was deprived the opportunity to develop as a feminine man or transgender woman. If he was raised by lesbian women, perhaps he could have blossomed into a beautiful transgender woman - rather than being stuck as a masculine male. When we identify and see only one side as being good, it creates a lens of perception. If I identify as male and think masculine maleness is best, I will interpret reality through that lens. I will feel bad for boys raised in single mother homes because they didn’t get a chance to have a masculine father role model. if I identify as nonbinary and see exploring non-binary gender as best, I will feel bad for children that grew up with heterosexual parents and were raised to believe they were male or female. I would feel bad they didn’t have the opportunity to explore non-binary genders. Both views come from a place a love, we want people to have access to what we think is good. Yet each view is also contracted through a lens of perception. I don’t see a LGBTQ or progressive conspiracy to brainwash children into becoming gay, lesbian or transgender. The goal is for LGBTQ inclusion and equality. Yet to the majority dominant group, inclusion and equality appears as a threatening power grab that is harmful. Cis, trans, straight, gay can all be included in society. Ironically, the opposite of the situation you describe above is very prevalent and causes a lot of harm. LGBTQ kids undergo enormous marginalization/ostracization/stigmatization. Abuse toward LGBTQ teens is prevalent - such that they often mask their identity and suffer. Their rates of psychological problems and suicide is much higher than the general population. Why don’t you feel concern for these kids? Why aren’t you a advocate for them and willing to fight for them?

There seems to be judgements of what is “good” and “bad” as well as a rationalization of that judgement as being “right”. Of course a household with heterosexual parents can be healthy, it can also be unhealthy. As well, a household with lesbian or gay parents can be healthy. You don’t seem to be seeing this through other perspectives and relative experience. . . A man you judge as insufficiently masculine is as “natural” as you are. The relative experience of a human being that identifies as man or masculine is as true and natural as the relative experience of a human being that identifies as a woman or feminine. There is a young man that has an inner desire to be more masculine, yet didn’t have the resources as a child. There is a young man that resonates with femininity, yet suffers because society tells him there is something “wrong” with you. There is a young man that is gay or desires to be a transgender woman, yet suffers because others have projected onto him that he is not normal and needs to be someone he is not. Marginalization/ostracization of gender is a major cause of neuroses, depression and suicide in young adults. I would love the person. If they asked me for help to learn about their true self and grow, I would try to help them. I wouldn’t say “No, that’s actually not who you are. You need help to be someone I think you should be”. If someone told me they desired more confidence and assertiveness, I would try to help them with that. If someone told me they desired to get in touch with their emotions and learn how to be vulnerable, I would help them with that. I wouldn’t project onto them what I think they should be. For me, that doesn’t feel loving and being truly helpful. I’ve found it helpful to spend time with actual LGBTQ people, learn and observe how natural they are.

I think what you posted could be misleading. for example, are you suggesting I should be thankful to God for my psychotic insanity, or to the people who committed suicide due to psychosis, or thankful to God that a psychotic person nearly raped a woman?

don`t get yourself confused because you are stressed out with your kids sometimes! there is a range of people scolding their children and a range of tone scolding a child and a range of words that still count as halfways acceptable due to being stressed. why do you try to downsize the problem while it`s maybe important for the child, to stay alarmed. did you read that? a four year old! someone needs to put words into a child so it even learns how to speak. i only know of one case of suicide of a six year old - a child would usually not even think of something like that. either it`s the mother who told her or it`s someone else or it is someone who told that to her mother as she only learned after three that something like her even exists. the i only exists after the age of three. how could she understand anything else if she is responsible for everything.

Sure but how would you answer the question then? Do you agree that it is confusing, of course I am god but havent the insights told us that an individual human will nevertheless does not exist and it is all gods will? Thats what I have learned so far, which doesnt mean I am not god (allthough you might think I am still confused). But it means that I as a human only am performing whatever my highest conscious self wants to and that I will never figure out how consciously it unfolds step by step I just perform according to thoughts, Impulses, conditioning. .. And so on. If I am conscious enough through lots of training I manage to supress thoughts and mostly be and witness and remain in bliss. Then there are people that are highly unconscious but still perform according to their/my/our highest self who still makes the decisions with utmost intelligence, do you agree? So how does suicide fit into that highest conscious intelligent decision performing? Its a really old curiosity which could be interesting to dissolve, because it seems paradoxical that we have no individual free will but still when it comes to suicide suddenly we have it.

Nothing is taboo in spirituality. Suicide is the self inflicted death of the meat body vehicle. The meaning of suicide is giving up or resetting the game. Of course the mental body cannot ever be killed nor can it die, it can only be transformed. So suicide is silly and stems from a lack of understanding but it's of course about more than just that (there are more mostly negative feelings involved).

I think you are confusing God for god's false identity. I do ask myself too the nature of suicide, thought. It's a very taboo aspect, even in spirituality.

We talk alot about how free will does not exist, and cannot grasp it remaining in the ape/monkey mind. But over time we have glimpses of god and realize that its all god and we dont exist and that ll our suffering was also due to the will of god. But how extreme is suicide? What does it imply in terms of gods will? Is it god wanting to experience such an extreme state of darkness and desperation that he ultimately kill himself? So why do all religions judge suicide then? It seems paradox under these premises, what could suicide significantly show in terms of gods will, in terms of human free will (where ultimately the human doesnt exist and god does) ?

It can be an act of selflessness. Think of Christ or Gandhi. You can basically sacrifice yourself for your life purpose. But this is still all part of the relative domain of life/death. From the Absolute perspective there is no one to die. But if you get it in your mind this idea of "I will sacrifice myself in the name of glory and I will go down in history as a good human being." << That's ego Be careful not to create a self-righteous fantasy about sacrificing yourself. Rather, act as though you are not important at all. There is no sense is committing suicide for a good cause. No good cause requires your suicide. Rather just do your work and if you happen to get killed in the process by some haters, so be it. But if you actively try to be a martyr, that's ego. A true martyr never tries to be martyr. He's just doing his work and others react to it. If your life becomes selfless and has great impact on others, you will naturally develop haters who wish you harm.

Well... I think it can go both ways. Burning yourself in public to protest against the soviet regime doesn't sound like an appealing way to die for me personally. I'm very much focused on internal transformation as opposed to external change. As far as his perspective is concerned... Really, it's still a matter of attitude. He can do it feeling greed for paradise, he can do it in rage, he can do it feeling pride for being willing to make such a sacrifice, feeling superior for having done it. He could've also been in failing in life and ending up in hopelessness and despair. At such a point, using the excuse of being a martyr is a good excuse to commit suicide, whilst suicide was something he wanted to do regardless. This is also a possibility. So all of that would be coming from the ego. It could've also been possible that he did it in a very clear moment, where there was no struggle accomodated with it, and where his decision to do was just a very clear recognition that his consciousness called him forth at that moment to do that act. So really, the act itself is not necessarily indicative of the state of mind such a person is in.

Instead of committing suicide, practice surrender. It's much more effective. You can die before you die. As I'm trying to do this, I'm getting a little bit depressed but what the hack, it will pass. We will die one day anyway.

I've been thinking about this question for some time, since I have been intrigued by the warrior persona, which I simplistically explain as someone, who is willing to give up everything (die in battle) in order to save his village. I remember Leo mentioning, that martyrs are coming from a place of ego, but don't all warriors do that? They are willing to die (act of selfnessness) for what they believe/think/feel is a good cause (ego)... is this a paradox? One example of would be a student in Czechoslovakia, who burnt himself to death in public as a protest against the Soviet regime with the intention of showing his fellow citizens, that they should not give in to the invaders and should rise against them to take back the country. more details: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Palach It does look quite noble to me and the czech culture does honor his act up until this day, but didn't he die for the sake of his ideology or belief? PS: I'm not going to kill myself, nor would I like you to do it... I'm genuinely curious about this matter.

Imagine death? Lol. Death has always been imaginary. Without imagination there cannot be a notion of death. If you're thinking "death", that's you imagining it. Even the notion of suicide is imaginary, since you must imagine yourself not existing. Which is an impossibility. You might as well imagine that you are a horse.

The news just hit right now and I received a notification. And what I read just now baffles me beyond belief. My mind says "how could this be?“ I wish this on no one. It's tragic to say the least that even in 21st century we still experience brainwashing and obsessive devotion in followers to the point of mania. Sometimes I cannot make sense of it at all. But this is food for thought for everyone. We must be careful while navigating this world of spirituality and consciousness. Meanwhile it is meant to help us deal with life in better ways, it's misuse and lack of discernment can cause a lot of harm. Your life matters most. Spirituality is only a tool that helps through the maze. You might be going through the dark night of the soul but please understand that it's only a short while. Spirituality is all about light. If you feel something is not working for you, then please don't do it. Don't give into some random esoteric belief. Remember your mental sanity is of prime importance. So the news is out there right now that a follower of Teal Swan has committed suicide. This is tragic. I pray for the deceased so that they may rest in peace. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50478821 Please understand that everything has it's pros and cons. And to blindly follow any person is dangerous. Always use the discernment of your mind. And do not stray into darkness. Thank you. Condolences to the deceased and their family.

Trump is an American citizen. Trump has nothing to do with Russia, I can ensure you of that. The left has a fantasy with Putin, so they think it's all about Russia and that Trump is somehow controlled by the Russians. Come on! We can do better than that. The main reason you see all this hype in the media is that Trump is pulling us back to the era of nation-states. The left doesn't like the idea of a nation-state and community; that's why they are screaming so much. The left would embrace globalism rather than healthy-nationalism. What I don't like about the left is the fact that they don't understand that Western Civilization gave us human rights. They don't grasp the importance of the concept of law. They think the justice system is somehow racist. But look at the fact that most people who are in jail are white. Anyway, we need a nation-state. We need communities in order to survive. Globalism doesn't work. Look at the rates of suicide these days. Look at the shitty pop culture we are getting from celebrities. We abandoned the family value. We gave up on the Christian God and then ask, who am I? What do you mean "who am I"? There is nothing to find. Happiness is found in meaning, family, and community. We gave up on those, of course, and we wonder why we don't have a purpose in life. I've been reading a book wrote by Scott M. Peck, called The Road Less Traveled. He pointed out that we can not subtract from obligations. He pointed out that we cannot subtract ourselves from the "freedom" of uncommitment. So yeah, there are rules to live that can't be disputed: 1. Having a family. 2. Being a good person. 3. The pursuit of happiness. When we substract from these rules, we wander off the path and hell breaks loose, as Jordan Peterson said.

Good, I'm happy to hear I was wrong. Listen, I'm not trying to bring you down. What I see is that you are wallowing in self-pity. Toughen up and snap out of it. You are degrading yourself and bringing yourself down for no good reason. I don't want to throw clichés at you, I'm sure you get plenty of those already. A change in your point of view is what you really need. If you haven't done that already, spend some time in a third-world country, such as India, which will teach you to appreciate how lucky you are. I would feel more sympathy for you if you were a limbless beggar with leprosy being spat at every day. From what i can see, you are extremely lucky, living in a first world country with every sort of amenity at your fingertip. I'm sorry if I cannot empathise with first-world problems, but it seems to me that you are in some sort of middle-class bubble. There is nothing wrong with you per se, except for your self-pity. BTW, suicide would be the most selfish thing you could possibly do, it is just another me-me-me ego trip that is a cry for attention. I am trying to clobber you on the head with some hard home truths, because apparently you won't get that from anyone else. Your first delusion is that you imagine you exist in isolation, otherwise you wouldn't be contemplating suicide. No man is an island and it is time you start giving back. Forget about yourself, you do not matter. Your puny little ego is just a squeaky little voice in your head that tells you what not to do. That is not you. The real you is part of a greater whole and is connected to everyone and everything. Ignore the squeaky little voice and do the exact opposite of what it tells you to do. Usually, it will tell you NOT to do things. Don't ask that girl out, don't book that flight ticket, don't get out of your comfort zone, etc... Also, there are higher powers at work who will help you in subtle ways, if you let them. Ask for help. Don't be embarrassed. In your head, you are alone with your higher Self, which is infinite awareness and connects you to a greater reality. It cannot speak, but it will communicate with you through dreams, synchronicities, people it sends into your life. Quieten your ego and amplify the Self. Good luck,

I know. If there was an urge to attempt suicide, then I'd stop myself and go to my doc. But just suicidal thoughts can be dealt with easily by just doing some of the things mentioned on here.

The unthinkable “nuclear winter” scenario occurs when detonations of many nuclear bombs over cities create intense fireballs which loft black carbon high into the stratosphere (upper atmosphere), blocking the Sun and thus halting global plant growth thus causing mass starvation. A Pakistan - India nuclear war (or US - Russia nuclear war) would block surface sunlight 20-35% (75%), cool global surfaces 2-5C (10C), reduce precipitation 15-30% (60%), reduce Net Primary Productivity 15-30% (100%) on land; 5-15% (50%) in the oceans, and take 10-15 years to recover. India–Pakistan border skirmishes (2019) India and Pakistan have engaged in a military confrontation across the de facto border in Kashmir, a disputed region which is claimed by both countries and large parts of which are controlled by each country.[22] The heightened tensions stemmed from a suicide car bombing carried out on 14 February 2019 in which 40 Indian security personnel were killed. A Pakistan-based militant group, Jaish-e-Mohammad, claimed responsibility for the attack.[23] India blamed Pakistan for the bombing and promised a robust response.[24] India has regularly stated Pakistan was utilising militants to destabilise Indian-administered Kashmir.[25] Pakistan, however, denied any involvement in the bombing.[26] Some twelve days later, India and Pakistan conducted airstrikes against targets in each other's territory.[27] The first airstrike was conducted by India in the early morning hours of February 26 in the vicinity of the town of Balakot in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in Pakistan,[28] several miles inside the province's boundary with Pakistan-administered Kashmir.[29] Pakistan's military, the first to announce the airstrike on February 26 morning,[30] described the Indian planes as dropping their payload in an uninhabited wooded hilltop area near Balakot.[31] India, confirming the airstrike later the same day, characterised it to be a preemptive strike directed against a terrorist training camp, and causing the deaths of a "large number" of terrorists.[12][32] The second airstrike, a retaliatory one,[33] was conducted during daytime on February 27 by Pakistan in a region of Indian-administered Kashmir. A dogfight during this airstrike caused an Indian MiG-21 Bison warplane to be shot down and its pilot, Wing Commander Abhinandan Varthaman, to be taken prisoner by the Pakistan military before being returned on March 1.[34][35] Analysis of open-source satellite imagery by the Atlantic Council's Digital Forensics Laboratory,[36] San Francisco-based Planet Labs,[37] European Space Imaging,[38] and the Australian Strategic Policy Institute,[39] has concluded that India did not hit any targets of significance on the Jaba hilltop site in the vicinity of Balakot.[40][41] On April 10, 2019, some international journalists, who were taken to the Jaba hilltop in a tightly controlled trip arranged by Pakistani government, although unable to make a knowledgeable evaluation,[42][43] found the largest building of the site to show no evidence of damage or recent rebuilding.[44][45][46][43] The fighting has continued intermittently since then.

So, this year I've entered my 1st year of college in computer science. Long story short, my depression which I have been ignoring for the past 4-5 years it's starting to take a toll on me and I'm considering dropping out. I'm paying no tuition since I had good results in exams and I don't find the subjects I'm studying particularly hard. The thing is, I'm so fucked up mentally that I'm thinking about suicide every day and I just can't get myself to study anything. I'm constantly distracting myself from my emotional problems to avoid facing them and I procrastinate on studying. I've got quite a few bad marks so far, and at this rate, I'll just fail all of my exams. That's what I did in high school as well, but with minimal effort I managed to finish it without many problems. Depression, stress and anxiety were eating me alive at the time but I digress. I can't afford therapy, and I even if I would, the mental health system in my country is so bad that I'll just get fed medication every day in a hospital only to numb down my emotions. I did try to meditate, but I couldn't maintain the habit going for long. Same for journaling and shadow work. Noticed positive results, but I'm just dropping and picking them up again. At this point, I just want to drop out of college and then isolate myself in a cabin somewhere in a forest where I'll just spend time thinking whatever I should continue to live or not.I no longer want to struggle to create a beautiful life for myself and improve myself. I've realized that happiness is nothing more but an ideal which I can't attain and it's futile to pursue it. My problem is that if I'll drop out of college, I'll just cause my parents to suffer greatly, especially if I'm going to open up about my emotional problems. They'll worry, get scared, become aggressive etc. I'm too tired and fearful to face such a situation. I'm also financially dependent on my parents, which is pathetic, I know, so I can't just move out and try to sort things out. To recap, I want to drop out, but that would just fuck up my parents mentally even more than they already are, and I just want to be guilty of that. I haven't felt freedom or happiness in years, and quite frankly I'm just tired of living and trying to make myself want to live. If I could, I'd just choose to fade away from reality. I should have never been born, things would have been so much better for everyone. Sorry if my thoughts were all over the place, but I've got a mild headache and feel like I want to lay on the ground and do nothing.