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Straight to the point, ill divide the texts to ego backlash chapter and consciousness shift chapter for easier comprehension. Ego Backlash: 4 months ago I was really into psychedelics I had a great experience after my 2 tabs trip in the woods and got a really good taste of psychedelics. It had been some time and I tripped 2 weeks back to back. Those two trips were confusing as fuck. On the first trip, I saw a battle like the ego was battling to survive and after the trance phase I had a glimpse of nonduality which was looking at my trip sitter speaking and it felt like I was speaking which was pretty profound. That didn't last long and I couldn't wait to trip again but the 2nd trip was a flop which started 3 months of ego backlash. The next 4 months consisted of cigarettes (hadn't smoked in 2 and a half years), weed, drinking, video games, junk food and of course no meditation nor yoga or even gym. Consciousness Shift: I don't really know how to explain this. My experience has been really self-luminous and especially today it is like I am tripping. It actually feels like I am high on LSD but I am totally sober. I get the HD vision and the presence of the LSD and oh boy this is too intense to happen out of the blue. It feels like the body is inside of a ball of experience, I am not the body but I still don't know what I am. If I focus there is something new in my experience but I can't put my hand into it. It feels now the real work starts, this is too radical... @Leo Gura what is this?

That’s because you have no direct experience of nonduality. It’s the greatest possible feeling. Infinite Love and Unconditional Acceptance of yourself and all individuals. Infinite Love of Infinite Love. The attitude you feed is the one that grows. It’s as if you’re bashing being a world champion boxer, but have yet to begin training, go to a gym, or step in a ring. But you can. You created yourself, and you created choice. Now, you can choose. Matter of fact, you are never not choosing. Hard to realize while blaming, I know. It will pass. The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes. Charles R. Swindoll

I know from a personal experience and from some people who told me about this as well, that people have nightmares, when they are working on their life and a lot of negative things are surfacing, I think it's a good sign actually Idk about the physical part though, do you stretch? Yeh, thinking about nonduality is very different from feeling it.

@Conrad No, that's your and Leo's version of Islam (I wonder if you're related). Mohammad's teachings were dualistic, that's evident. There's Allah (Creator), and there's everything else (Creation). Adam was a clay that Allah created and breathed into him of His Spirit. That is if we want to take his teachings literally. Nonduality is your (and Leo's, and Sufi's) interpretation, not the original teachings.

@Shin I feel ya. I know things pan out after a while. I am more stable than I was. I think. Physically I feel really strange, have you experienced this? Nightmares every night too. I don't understand how nonduality can make anyone feel better about anything. "Hey man, I'm feeling really down... my life is crumbling around me and I feel so tired and hopeless" "Oh, don't care about anything... you don't exist and neither does anyone else!" "Cheers buddy, I feel great now" "Just remember, there is no 'I'". Load of nonsense.

@Sauvik the idea of nonduality is of no use to someone who is in orange, the only thing way you can teach them spirituality is if you get some parts of them to develop into green and yellow, so basically raising their self awareness. and that's done through meditation, or various spiritual exercises. taking psychedelics is good. ultimately to go into full nonduality you have to achieve yellow but don't forget you can never transition fully into yellow without having embodied all stages before it, and fully transitioned through them.

So I was sleeping tonight and I woke up slightly, being like 50/50 wake/sleep state. Then I just felt something really weird, I started to shake as hell, felt like something is ressisting something for some reason, actualy it felt like a somewhat of a mystical experience, so being half asleep I though that surrendering is the best option (which previously I wasnt capable of doing so in normal states). Thought that if I would die now then let it be my death. And I just completely shifted from a shivering state to total calmness, my body became so relaxed when I surrendered to the experience, actualy it felt like I died then, the body relaxation was seen as a death of some sort. The next thing was that I was observing this and thinking in my mind and then an insight occured that my thoughts are also me, the nonduality was so total there (not only in material sence) that I just laid in bed with such an empty mind being total calm and just accepting everything that I actualy am. Then I just fell asleep and woke up all happy with energy. Maybe someone had this kind of experiences?

Rupert and Eckhart both communicate at a more broad, simple level to not only attract an audience, but to be understood. It isn't their purpose to dive too deep into the metaphysics and scare people off. However, that doesn't mean they aren't fully God realized. To me, it just means full embodiment of enlightenment, which they have undoubtedly achieved. What you are talking about is something else. Leo's whole channel is the pursuit to speak about nonduality using language (dualistic) as accurately as possible. He does this so well that if you're not already God realized (full enlightenment) it will scare you. It gives you as close a taste as you can to Nondual consciousness, without having to do any work. That's why it's so invaluable, but also why Leo cannot have a big audience (he did in the early days, but not at this level). Actualized is for a rare breed of people willing to turn their old lives upside down. That doesn't mean Leo "understands" it better than Rupert or Eckhart, because it goes beyond language.

@isabel yeah, Rupert is a shining light. My best friend recently went to his 3-hour meeting on Nonduality in NYC, and said it balanced and centered him. From a certain perspective, every word ever spoken is God's poetry, just like every form is art.

The trip was quite profound and challenging for me. Pre-Trip: I meditated for 30 minutes and then contemplated about the differences between the Masculine and Feminine characteristics and traits. Trip: After taking LSD, I continued to contemplate and think. However, as soon as the effects started to take over, I was taken over by a sudden urge to strip naked and masturbate. Martin Ball has written about this, and he advocates that that one should let these things play out. So I proceeded to do that. However, in the midst of doing so, I became acutely aware of how my entire life, I've been running away (through tasks, hobbies, addictions, distractions) from being present and facing the emptiness of existence. No wonder, I keep looking for happiness elsewhere. I lost all desire to masturbate and every moment became painful, to such an extent that I didn't want to live any longer. The ego's defences were down, and I quickly went inside my bathroom, switched all the lights off and sat in complete darkness and silence, and started contemplating: Who am I? Why have I been trying to escape the present moment my whole life? I was afraid, and the silence and darkness added to it. It was clear that the fear was a product of my projections and that I was still not letting go. And once I did, it became blindingly obvious that it is all Absolutely Nothing! I have been looking for this realisation, and at the same time have been running away from it, which has caused me a lot of pain. With this insight still fresh and crystal clear, I came out to my bedroom and started meditating while resting on my bed. Because the ego was weak and fully surrendered, I had died, without even realising it. I started to laugh and cry (I'm still not sure how that happened, but it was literally laughter mixed with sobbing). This Nothingness was Absolute, groundless, ungraspable and completely imperturbable. All the things I have read and heard about sexuality came back into my mind. How the epitome of masculinity is Shiva- consciousness itself. From there, a number of things that I have read and seen about sexuality came back to me. Insights: Everything that we see and perceive is couched within Nothingness/Consciousness. And we all have Masculine and Feminine in us. Thus, every moment of existence is a play of the Divine Masculine (Shiva) and the Divine Feminine (Shakti). Life is a product of this Divine Love making. The black and white Duality of Man and Woman is merely simplistic thinking. David Deida once said that Life and existence itself is a Woman (with a capital W). And just like a feminine partner, life will shit test you. So long as one is identified with Absolute Nothingness, no challenge (including death itself) can scare you away. She (Life) will make love to you until the end of time, but She will also chop your head off as soon as you lose consciousness. Every time I become sad/hurt/angry, that's equivalent to failing one of life's tests. Being inauthentic hurts more than anything else. Authenticity = Death = Immortality = Imperturbability. When you are aware of the fact that death is an illusion, and so is any concept of separation, you will naturally let things unfold without becoming unconscious and neurotic. From this authenticity, one can live their true Life Purpose: In their career as well as their social life. This life purpose isn't just limited to 40-50 hours of work every week. The way we spend our money, the way we treat others, the energy we put out into the world, are all our creation. A truly authentic life means you can live every single day, knowing that you are Nothingness, and that no failure/loss can cause you to abandon your purpose. Radical openness = Selflessness. Only by being completely selfless, can one truly contribute to Absolute Goodness. And of course, this id paradoxical, since it is clear that nothing is in your control. Yet, there can be complete surrender and consciousness at the same time (like an erection, firm but relaxed). With an experiential understanding of Nonduality, one knows that claiming ownership of your achievements/possessions is futile, which then allows you to live life as a spontaneous unfolding of love and play. This is how one makes love to life. As David Deida wrote, 'Stop hoping for a completion of anything in life'. Which is a great pointer. Peter Ralston also wrote about this in 'The Book of Not Knowing'. I have a long way to go in this journey. A big chapter in my life is coming to an end soon, and it became clear to me what the next chapter ought to be. The key is to balance being s strategic motherfucker and surrendering to the Divine Will. Psychedelics are the best Teachers. No human teacher could have allowed me to have a direct consciousness of all this in one day.

Promoting nonduality for Muslims through the Quran. So sly.

@Leo Gura I shall play my nonduality Trump card. I've never met anyone who was truly a fool and I've never met anyone who was truly wise. If a country had Russia's intelligence and work ethic and also America's fun, free spirit, my God, that would be a great place to live. Could you have both at the same time?

Such a beautiful poem on nonduality This is well worth your time, enjoy!

@mandyjw an updated understanding of Noble would be if it's in line with Teotl. Did you see Leo's video on Aztec nonduality? I understand why Leo uses the term Noble, but yeah I feel like it's seeped righteousness, separation, and higher "order" commanded by a Blue version of God as a bearded man in the clouds. When I hear "Noble" I think of knights fighting in the Crusades haha. Language is powerful, and that word has a lot of context and history... I feel like it's our duty as self-actualizers to use updated vocabulary like authentic, spiritual, transcendent, nondual, etc. that send a clearer message. There's no reason to hang onto the past. Even Leo using the term "God" constantly has its problems for newcomers understanding the message, because there's so much historical context of using it in a dualistic, separated way.

@zeroISinfinity don't worry your being noticed. @David Hammond @Inliytened1 Leo verbally warned all of you about the nonduality wars the other day and it hasn't stopped since.

To really grasp the Absolute and to live knowing it deeply would demand you be in integrity with the Truth because you are it. As far as him doing a more “positive” impact by doing what he’s doing from the relative POV I highly disagree with. Who/how I was before I got truly into nonduality and I was listening to Sam Harris and also with certain family members of mine who are like Sam Harris and jP fanatics, I can promise you, he isn’t doing anyone any real favors doing what he’s known for doing.

Sam Harris really is a confusing character. I don’t listen to him anymore so I’m not really current as to what he’s up to these days as far as what he’s saying and so forth. If you read his book Waking Up, you’re clearly reading about him not only having nondual enlightenment experiences but also having studied sages and teachers like Ramana Maharahi, Papaji, etc. He’s “educated” on these people and on nonduality in yet.. still is holding these paradigms of how Consciousness is brain activity for example. I mean, he’s done thousands of hours of meditation and has utilized substances like LSD but still doesn’t and has done tons of mindfulness practice of the years but still denies subjectivity. Denying that 2nd and 3rd person perspective are still all held and grounded within 1st person subjective and to deny 1st person is deny what’s fundamentally running the show. It’s crazy how that’s happened. I don’t wanna go off too hard because he was my real gateway into this path. His 26 minute meditation with some self inquiry got me to realize I don’t know who and what I am. So there’s value there for the newb coming from Orange. I don’t think an Orange person can really stomach more “cleaner” forms of nonduality other than maybe through Leo’s older stuff. I think it just goes to show how deep enlightenment goes and how even no-self insights are nowhere near enough. Glimpses and even strong hits of emptiness isn’t enough to eradicate a very deeply permeated materialist and modern scientific paradigm. Also in the importance of open mindedness and of course epistemology. I think epistemology (along with of course metaphysics, but for the sake of this point...) really is the root issue in A LOT of the shenanigans we get into even in spiritual work. Its really a shame because he’s such a great speaker, very articulate, otherwise very intelligent guy, great marketer, etc. but between this and how he holds Atheism, demonization of religion, etc. really makes him a truly tainted teacher that leads many people astray. I hope he turns around but I doubt it.

Can you even imagine telling people who aren’t nerds and students of nonduality that? Just the thought of saying on the street to someone and I can already feel the wood, thorns, and nails being pounded into my hands for my own crucifixion

@Leo Gura Nonduality can be hard to communicate without a self entering and becoming attached/identified. It can be very subtle and sneaky. I notice that dynamic appear in my mind from time to time.

Just notice how much people LOVE to disagree about nonduality. "Bro, my nonduality is twice as big as your nonduality." "Nah, bro. My nonduality is nonduality times infinity." "Shut up bro, my nonduality is nonduality times infinity to infinity." "Bro, that's not nonduality, that's just your mystical experience. Who's the one aware of your nonduality?"

We have rules on this sub-forum about Nonduality Wars.

Thanks for clearing that one up. No, I am not going to go and buy a rolling coal truck or stop my positive contributions. I've just been feeling extremely nihilistic over the past few months with all the studies of nonduality I've been doing. I have also been getting trapped in solipsistic delusions, which I hope are delusions.

Taking on that perspective, 'nothing gained or lost', you have to take that language full circle. Duality is Nonduality. We aren't here to avoid dualities. Do you still brush your teeth? Why don't you go hurt someone? There's no freedom without law. A little further, outside of gain and loss, maybe we just do things because we have the choice.

@Enizeo Music and spirituality are not mutually exclusive. It's not like you have to decide between becoming an olympic weightlifter or a horse jockey. Music and spirituality are highly inter-connected. Music and art is one of the best tools to explore consciousness. Ofc there will be time spent negotiating gigs and contracts, some time spent trying to figure out how to pay the bills etc. Yet along the path, there will be plenty of time to explore the overlap of music/spirituality/consciousness. For example, playing music is one of the best ways to enter flow states of consciousness - a form of meditation and nonduality. There is the exploration of the language of music as symbols and emotional expression. There is the collective consciousness with players in the band and the band with audience. Some of the most deeply conscious people I've met were musicians. Music is a natural form of expression for mystics. The musicians at an Ayahuasca retreat I did were off the chart talented in music and deeply conscious. Music and spirituality is a match made in heaven. It's like saying "I wish I had time to get into great physical shape, yet unfortunately I want to pursue a career as a professional athlete. . . "

Thanks for your reply Leo , your reply just made me happy as I read it....:) So just got finished with a project which I did to earn some cash, back home after 2 weeks of travel, Yesterday saw Leo's video on phases of life , I was so glad as I could apply I directly. Well this is the point in my life where I am really struggling, I am at the Limbo phase( good to have a word for it now) , and although investigation about enlightenment ,nonduality etc is what I want my life to be about ultimately, right now when I am struggling with my purpose feeling direction less feeling low self esteem, having problem with interacting with girls who are really really good looking, and my financial future is not looking promising ,at this time talks about enlightenment etc are feeling like distraction for me, I have a tiger running behind me I gotta get rid of him first then meditate....:p So now I gotta figure out what my life's direction is gonna be, It's very difficult for me to just sit to contemplate and figure it out, that what's really it's gonna be about now what do I wanna do next to earn money which would also take me closer to my purpose, how do I want my life to be alligned so that I get it all. I find myself distracting my self a lot. I actually did it 4-5 times before , I did plan but then wasn't able to stick to it for some or other reason. I am meditating almost every day, I am working to remove my "should", I had a big strong "should " when it came to meditation, which I think helped me a lot in beginning but now after 2 years of regular meditation ( I hardly missed 6-7 days in total), I think I need to remove the neurotic should I had applied to the practice, am working on it and making my motivation to meditate less neurotic, i think it's helping me and I am reconnecting to the real essence of meditation and the real reason I do it. I also am doing bio energetic breathing exercises , it's very helpful , I have been doing it since more than a year on and off, doing bow regularly was hurting my back,these days it seems these exercises have become more effective for me, I think I am bending properly now, I don't have the back pain too let's see I'll report after some more time. I have developed big self esteem problem, I think because I am an ambitious guy and now when my purpose and direction in life is not strong it's fucking up my self worth. I am finding myself pedestrialising people I think are "high status" , it's dangerous as fuck, it's making me not to see reality of people and situation properly, I want to get rid of this problem. I am listening to sleep affirmations for self worth and self esteem hoping it would help it's been about a week and I think it has a bit. This low self worth thing is making me supplicate and being weird arround highly attractive and high status women, and Even men for that matter. I hate smoking and only smoke rarely when I drink , but last week I smoked about 6-7 cigarettes. That's bad. Biggest problem I have is money right now, it's been like this for a long while now , leo said there are a lot of creative ways of earning money I'll now focus on this (again) and I am tired of this having lack of money, I think I don't give as much importance to money in my life, I see that I give more importànce to health,women, self development than money, maybe it's good I don't know, but right now i have real financial scarcity, my mind should be very alert and focused on this. The fact that I àm living with my parents could be the reason that I am chilled about it. I am thinking that now I'll focus on my money issue I life primarily, One of the biggest distraction I have is women and sex, I spend a lot of time in getting women to bed with me, in doing pick up, following up with number closes, watching videos. Also good amount of time is spent in dealing with hurt rejection , loneliness etc. I will now I have decided focus my pickup activities on getting a stable Girl friend, not on hook ups . Getting a stable girlfriend whom I like will at least save a lot of my mental bandwidth on arranging a hook up when I am horny. I will definitely be still doing pick up as I have lot more to learn and grow from it, just will be spending more time on earning money as of now. I need to start exercising, it helps a lot. Main issue is again of money right now for gym membership, I'll have to come up witha health plan. I'll contemplate about my life direction now in my journal, contemplating is very helpful for me. One probablem I have is I get mentally exhausted after a good contemplating session, so I am unable to make proper action plan on the realisations I have in the session, maybe it'll improve with practice , suggestions are very welcome in that. Okay will go for now let me now open my journal and start journalling, I feel so much resistance ,haven't even started yet.