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I know I'm a little late to the party but as someone who has done Ketamine, more specifically (esketamine) usually around 84 mg nasally, around 50 times now I'd like to chime in. Personally I have had quite a few awakenings on Ketamine. I actually wasn't so much trying to it's just been an added benefit. I started Ketamine as an alternative medical treatment for treatment resistant depression, which it has done wonders for and after many months started having awakenings on it. I've had a lot of no self awakenings and what I would describe as pure nothingness. Very similar to a Buddhist description of awakening. My most recent treatment though I finally had a full on God realization awakening, infinity, whatever you want to call it you know what I mean. What I like about ketamine is it is gentle and easy compared to traditional psychedelics. You easily slip into a deeply meditative state and lose touch with your self and body. Effortlessly because you pretty much can't do anything other than just sit there and relax. There aren't distracting visuals or thoughts usually like with traditional psychedelics, at least for most people. You also seem to have control unless you take a really high dose. I sometimes was able to break out of awakenings in the past when I felt I wasn't ready in that moment. Only this last one did it not go away when I freaked out a bit. I'm glad it didn't because once I got through what I'd call the "come up anxiety" it was amazing. It offers a unique and interesting experience that is worth at least trying if you ever get the chance and are in the right head space for it. It's also probably easier for most people to source compared to something like 5meo Dmt. Just make sure to test for impurities like with all substances. I think if you're a person who has trouble letting go or freaks out on psychedelics Ketamine might just be a good starting point and way to ease yourself into awakenings like I did. Don't write it off until you've tried it a few times and if you do I recommend getting an eye mask and listening to meditation music during the trip. Also have your feet touching the ground while you sit in a chair being grounded helps in my experience.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #67 - Sat July 19, 2025 7:24 PM Nothingness Lower self: We talked about nothingness a few chapters back. What is it and why does it have significance in Truth work? Higher Self: Nothingness is exactly that, it is an empty void that is made up of its own name, nothing. The tree next to me is nothingness, my car is nothingness, this water is nothingness, my body is nothingness. Lower self: I'm not following... Higher Self: Your identity is not Truth. Your mind is not Truth. The birds are not Truth. The sky is not Truth. You can make an infinite list of things that are not Truth. If everything is not Truth, what do you have left? You have nothing. Nothingness is the ultimate truth of the universe. Experience this. Truly experience this and you will transcend your physical body. The real kicker here though is that nothingness also equates to infinite creation. If there is nothing really there, then you have a blank slate in which you can create anything that you want. These creations remain in the relative realm while nothingness is forever present in the background as an Absolute Truth. Lower self: Okay, this all makes sense, but how do I experience this? I have no direct experience of this nothingness that you are describing. Higher Self: Sure you do... Just look around. "Close your mind, close your eyes, see with your heart" - Lupe Fiasco

Thank you for the honesty. That says a lot. Right, nothing anyone says means anything with respect 'to' Truth, but what eventually SEES is indicative of the depth of penetration, maybe even Nothingness awakes to what it meant by the simple word. Ever had a gun to your head, with the distinct possibility that one of your organs could soon be harvested if you went down the dark black alley with the perpetrators? It was a cool horror in which conscious existence came to an extreme focal point, depth remained calm, communicated in a second language in an attempt to reach a deeper layer, and found a way. Enjoy your courtroom analyses.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMIxtECMFtd/?igsh=MXg3MTZzZG16NnAxZQ== The more events I go to, the more I look at people the clearer it is that this world is not worthy of me. There really is no one of my calliber here. All these girls are climbing over me but I just can’t. You’re a stupid hoe, sorry, I just can’t. We’re in different dimensions. I don’t know if there even is a girl that could meet me at my level at this point, in terms of looks and wisdom. But when ur truly wise ur so happy in the now that you dont need anyone else. You just give that eww look and walkaway. In the end u give the eww look to the whole dream and dissolve it to nothingness from which it came. me af rn: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIh29YRthrr/?igsh=MTNjM3RnOGwwMTd2eA==

What i am trying to point out as saying giving meaning is as soon as one attached with the word. It can be any, God, nothing, existence, non existence, nothingness, human, life, etc...

Why nothing? That's a misleading idea, only reading that explanation makes me sick, like if I see someone lying to mislead the people just for evilness, like a demon. I'm not saying that you are, just my feeling reading that "absolute nothingness", it's dead.

Non-dualists act like discovering religious forms are constructed somehow invalidates them, as if pointing out that a cup is made by human hands means it can't hold water. That's what religions trying to do - hold space, contain that which can't be contained - God. Individuals can seek without containers, individually. Advanced seekers can transcend the need for particular containers - but it's not a scalable solution to community. We need something we can gather around. We can't build a community around the concept that concepts or constructs don't matter. The rituals of religion aren't the point - the ritual is the vehicle for the point. But obviously, people ordinarily get stuck on the mechanism rather than what the mechanism is trying to get them to. The issue isn't the container or construct (religion) - it's the consciousness that inhabits the container or construct. A Buddhist monastery can become a place of spiritual awakening or a den of ego's tripping over who mediated longer or sat more still when the bugs bugged them. A seeker can easily do without a container, but a civilization needs one. The point is, once you reach non-dualness, how to trasmit this with duality? You must use constructs even in informing people about that beyond construct and form itself. Even nothingness needs a container to be understood by something. Isn't consciousness exploring what it means to construct? Spiritualist non-dual bros are still living in the same constructed world as everyone else. They're still using their constructed language to have constructed conversations about their constructed spiritual insights.

That seems to be a first step, to realize nothingness (the eternal)

If I remember correctly Rupert spira once said there’s two steps to awakening. First you awaken to nothingness, consciousness, but it’s still a nothingness that’s separate from everything, then second step is consciousness realizes it’s everything so merges with everything Havent verified it to myself btw A radical non dualist young woman who later disappeared from YouTube talked about something similar in her own experience.

Nonduality is like Rupert Spira being aware of awareness, consciousness being aware of itself, look at me i‘m Rupert Spira i wear glasses 🤓 and have a British accent i‘m so woke. Here is what you can do to become more aware Radical Nonduality is like Tony Parsons and Andreas Müller, there is nobody, bo meaning, nothingness being everything. Look at me i‘m nothing 😎 there is nobody who can do anything. Alright thanks guys and glad we talked about it.

Yeah, I understand why from a spiritual POV we de-construct everything to get to that which is beyond all construct - to ''Truth'' or God. Spiritual teachers get there via negation - negating all that is ''maya, illusion, or form'' - but then what? Intellectually it can be explained to someone within a few hours - okay fine, everything is a construct, what do you want me to do with that now? I am still a construct, just like you and all of us here, in bodies, using internet and mobiles to communicate to each other in words which are yet again constructs. The point is to live in construct but consciously - or more so to find that there is more to life than just the dual material world of surface, that there is depth and a consciousness within construct, that consciousness encapsulates constructs itself. Form and constructs aren't the ultimate, essential - they are operational and instrumental. In a sense spiritual teachers are correct when they say there is no absolute or fixed meaning - but we shouldn't stop there. There is no meaning, yet everything is absolutely meaningful. We can pick our individual purposes and means to their ends that we live through, but there is a deeper meaningfulness and purposefulness beyond and within all of it too. And that greater meaning and purpose is that the formless already chose that it wants to play through form - form is the love language of the formless. Form is the formality of the formless. We come into the world of duality and form lost, and asking why? Why life, why form? Then we go seeking for answers. We stumble upon the fact that there is that which is formless and non-dual - which is pointed to in various ways via spiritual community or religion (with all their flaws). The point then is to return to form - we are already in form anyway and can't escape it until we leave the body fully - so we return to it with that knowing, eyes and heart wide open. We go from why, to why not? After all, God - the formless, already chose form to exist as itself. Unconscious man never asks why. Curious man asks why? God says why not? Why not form, to inform myself, of myself that is the Self, through multiples selves? Conscious man respond why lets..dance. We come all the way back to where we are meant to be. It's a case of spiritual Stockholm syndrome - seekers and spiritualists become so attached to the idea that everything is illusion (maya), that they start emotionally bonding with nothingness and detachment as if those are the highest truths. Then people easily find them selves in a sort of spiritual nihilism - if all is maya, then what meaning does this world of maya have? I had a period of this too - the sense that I am nothing, all is nothing, all is void. That’s the so called “dark night of the soul” where we exist as astronauts cut from the cord - de-constructed everything, found something, but haven’t had a homecoming with that something. We need to BEcome, or come to BE. I came to realise it’s not void and nothing in the ordinary sense, it's everything , there is a presence there. And I am everything - just wearing this particular face today. I am just you, but over here *waving* hello at you. We are just God eating mangoes. Then I came to rest in being human. I think many teachers saying ''there is no meaning'' stop short. They aren't false, they just need to complete that line of thought by adding that ''yet everything is meaningful''. It reminds me of the Last Samurai movie where the Emperor says ''Tell me how he died'' and Tom Cruise replies ''I will tell you... how he lived.'' The Emporer, just like spiritual egotists and misguided seekers get hung up on the death part - the de-construction part, the death of the self, of ego and form - to a final destination of' ''Enlightenment''. But maybe its not about a destination but a participation in form, along side the formless. In this way, we aren't ''above'' the world, we are with it more fully and awake. What if we get to this destination of God, then God says what the hell are you doing here, go back and participate in form. As the saying goes, before enlightenment, chop wood carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood carry water. Tell me how he died = “Did he reach the formless?” Tell me how he lived = “Did he return and play in form?”

I have a strange and weird theory. It's not what we're used to hearing but I'll lay it on you just the same. Not saying it's the case but it popped into my head, and I just wanted to write about it. It's insane but here goes. God is second order. God is everything but that everything is only what's manifested. What's appearing. What is seen, experienced, thought about, felt, imagined and so on and so forth. God is what the me is. The individual, the I AM, the dream, imagination, concepts, ideas, thoughts, everything that we know. Words, language, structures, stories, everything....but it isn't nothing. God isn't no-thing. It's not infinite. It's limited. It's born out of nothing. Nothing is first order. Nothing is the Nothing-head. Nothing is prior to God but nothing is prior to nothing. God is what's experiencing. God is what's talking, being, walking, running, dancing, smiling, yawning, peeing, shitting, typing, learning, teaching, all the verbs. God is issing out of nothing. God is the dream. God is something. It is. Nothing is no-thing. It is not. It is absence. God is presence. God is not truth. Nothing is. God is lost. God is thinking. Thinking it's real. God is a mind but that mind doesn't exist. It's the dream. The dream of life. It's existence. It exist. It stands out. Nothing doesn't stand out. Nothing is 'not happening' God is happening.. I am God, and I am exists. I am stands out. I Am is manifested. I am, me, the individual is God, but that's not real. God isn't real. God is fiction. God is illusion. God is Maya. God is limited. Nothing is nothing. Nothing is not everything. God is. Nothing is happening but God appears and what appears is limited. Nothing is nothing but it's a something that is being God which is every-thing. The Absolute is a thing. It's every-thing. It isn't total. It's totally everything but nothing is totally absolutely no-thing, which is what this is. The Absolute is absolutely limited to being everything but nothing is limitless. The mind is not there. Where is it. It's God, it's nothing being a mind so therefore it's limited. Infinitely limited. Infinity is limited. Limited to being infinite. That's a limitation. For infinity to be totally infinite it cannot be infinite. That's a label, a category. Can infinity be totally and absolutely be finite. No. It's infinite and cannot be any other way. That's a limitation. There you have it. My independent thesis of reality and my absolute crazy theory about God, infinity, the absolute, existence and nothingness. Now I will screw my head back together and think of something else crazy to write about. Hope you enjoyed reading that fantastical theory of everything and nothing.

You could say It has, it's total because it is limitless, "nothingness" is not a pointer, it's a misleading idea. Maybe it's pointed by some people who don't know what are talking about but they need to appear whise? Just a possibility . Do you know something? There are people who are so concerned about their self image that they invent that they are enlightened and they believe that history, and it's absolutely impossible that they see the that they are creating an history. It's fascinating to see that phenomenon, not always easy to detect. It's very important to understand that this is always a possibility, because if not it's easy to get lost in the games of some people

What is pointed to (call it whatever you want) has no attributes. There will always be more questions, because the ignorance and confusion are born of the mind (i.e., at the 'level' of the mind, which cannot see beyond itself, but can be informed by Realization). In memory, I've always been intrigued by the fact that 'Nothing' was the first word that emerged in the mind when I first inquired mentally about 'what just happened' just after the initial massive collapse, so there's that. It was more than descriptive though, IF ya know what I mean. Existential clarity like no other emerging in/as ITS profundity,,, There isn't really anything one can say about Nothingness, so there's always more to say. Nothing is unexplainable. 👁️ Everything is a mystery.

Nothingness is a word with a meaning, means absence of anything. If we want to use the language we should use the words knowing it's meaning. If you say that the totality is a dog, but not a dog in the sense of the dogs that we know, but an infinite dog without definite characteristics, then why are you using the word dog? Better trying to explain without words that implies an idea that tends to confusion Same than stillness. Who is still is the zen master, the absolute is not still, still means absence of movement. Stillness or movement has not meaning in the absolute

The concepts of Limitless/Open point to the exact same realization of Nothingness which, is also the same as Tao. If one thinks it's flat, boring, lacking, etc, one hasn't realized it as the formlessness/Presence (but, right, more concepts -dual in their nature/function-... without which communication is impossible). Problems for the unrealized: They are just concepts, until fully realized right HERE, right NOW for what they point to, which just so happens to be right HERE, right NOW. If they are only sensed as potential, they are not practical. If they are fleeting, they are impermanent. If only reasonably derived from disjointed moments of clarity and/or drug-induced woweezowees, they are woven together via mental processes. It's like going to a restaurant that serves only menus. Makes for a scrumptiously good read, but lacks true Limitless Nothingness, without which, all appears in limited and limiting fashion. Furthermore, what is Beloved doesn't appear either (hint: if it hasn't, the mind gets antsy). In/As Limitless Awareness-Stillness-Nothingness, limitless Consciousness-Movement-Everything arises. Form is formless; formlessness is form. Sahaja The mind, typically attenuated and fixated on its story, goals, logic, conclusions, and housing the fully clothed and conditioned finite self, cannot fathom its depths and infinite potential. But the mind can be investigated, unwound, unraveled, and put in its place; informed of its secondary status. Just doing that, one can reap the rewards of relatively conscious human adulthood. Anyone care for some water with their menu? 🥛

"It is neither being nor nothingness": Madhyamaka: "Its character is neither existent, nor nonexistent, / Nor both existent and nonexistent, nor neither. / Centrists should know true reality / That is free from these four possibilities." in (Not quite) guilty as charged by the River

Halaw said that, but it's deeply dual , that is, closed, or if you prefer, limited. Nothingness is just an appearance that is opposite to something or everything. The ultimate nature of reality is limitlessness and can't be said, thought or represented in any way. It includes nothingness, something, conciousness, unconsciousness . When I read that paragraph of halaw I perceive absolutely clear that he didn't opened that door . when hallaw he said that Buddha recognize his own emptiness, groundless, he's equating emptiness with groundless, which is not equivalent at all. Empty is the opposite of full; groundless is the absence of boundaries. Great that you don't think that the reality is conciousness, the reality is conciouss. Conciousness It's not the act of nothingness, is the act of the tao, if you prefer the tradition. If you define the tao as nothingness, you are defining what can't be defined. Here I catched you eh 😉. About you said about the pointers, they must be clean and direct as an arrow, transparent and perfect as a diamond. Any imperfection must be destroyed by the fire of the unthinkable without mercy. That's the only way to talk about this topic without being a joke

@emil1234 Lovely, congrats. It's not easy to go beyond our indoctrination into materialism that has happened of the span of multiple decades. The concept of nothingness can be hijacked by materialist assertions, but Consciousness is beyond concepts .. just like God is .. just like you are

@emil1234 for me the thing with psychedelic was like that: At first, it was emotional, etc., but at a certain point, with 5 meo, it was: absolute emptiness. Reality is a mirage, and beneath it there is emptiness. Infinite, it opens absolutely, and there is nothing. Or, if you prefer, there is an awareness of emptiness. It was absolutely horrible; I felt like committing suicide. Reality was dead; it didn't really exist; it was just dead emptiness. Absolutely depressing. So I had to take psychedelics again and again because I sensed that this horrible shit couldn't be everything. But every time it was the same, dozens of times. It was something so sad and so nihilistic that it squeezed your heart and froze it. It doesn't matter if you are eternal consciousness; the essence of reality is nothing, so reality is nothing. It's dead. At one point, on a trip, I realized that I was looking outside; I was an observer observing the exterior. There was nothing there. Then i changed the focus, then stopped looking, became one with nothingness, and in that same instant, nothingness opened up. It was everything. Absolute, unlimited, alive with infinite lives, shining like infinite stars, an absolute cry of joy emerging from the depths of the abyss of the limitless. Absolute freedom, absolute life, total glory. Loneliness? That idea doesn't exist. You are total, much more than any dream, impossible to think, unlimited. Then the point was reaching that openenss without 5 meo, little by little, difficult, a lot of barriers. That's why I talk so much about it like I'm an obsessive ,because it's essential, anything else is a trap

@Breakingthewall i did not get a sense of loneliness. it was more a sense of existence realizing that it can never find anything outside of existence. im stuck in existence. existence seeking non existence. Im curious on your perspective since i usually resonate with your posts, however this experience shatters the idea of anything outside of consciousness for me, since consciousness literally is nothingness. How can anything be outside of nothingness?

after 5 years of non stop dedicated spiritual work i finally had a god realization on ayahuasca. I was in the ayahuasca ceremony. Layer after layer got peeled back, till I finally awoke as pure consciousness. Pure I AM ness. Nothingness. This idea of "waking up" is literally the most precise term ever, because it feels infinitely more radical than waking up from a dream. I was still aware that in the background I had the dream of a human Self called Emil going on. So I didn't entirely lose connection to my body, althrough i was completely aware that my true identity was consciousness, nothingness. And by the way; the people speaking of something outside of consciosuness is bullshit. Cessation, deep sleep, NOTHINGNESS is imagined by consciousness. You cannot get beyond consciousness. I used to believe in Nothingness, Deep sleep as the "absolute". No longer. Consciousness is absolute. the realization of my true identity, eternal nothingness, consciousness. immortal, nothing could hurt me. the initial realization of consciousness, is that its fundamental quality was not love, but a steady blissfulness and peace. This was its core quality. Everything that was happening around me had zero influence on my true identity. With this realization, I started letting myself "dream", and partially to a certain extend, forget my true identity, just to have some fun. Nothing could hurt me anyways, so why not? I let myself indulge in horrors, scary dark dreams, just for the fun of it, because why not? After "dreaming" for some time, I realized; Well, if I'm completely eternal, and I can experience all this stuff; Why don't I start loving it? Why dont i start loving ALL of it? Why not? Why the fuck not haha? I am completely eternal, immortal, here forever, nothing can hurt me. So why should I not make love to everything? As an eternal, immortal being, that became the only worthwile thing. So I started loving. Everything. The more i loved, the more I realized that everything that was not love, was a complete fucking joke. a total distraction. In eternity, the only currency that holds ANY value at all, is love. everything else, approval, money, EVERYTHING else is the biggest joke in existence. Love is literally the only thing that has value. I kept on loving everything. What was very curious and characteristic about this whole experience, is that it was ME, myself, making logical conclusions and realizations about myself as pure consciousness, the eternal being. So i kept loving so much, that I became an infinite singularity. There was only love left. This was the biggest chok ever, because I realized that as the infinte singularity, I could decide to keep increasing the love infinitely. This word infinitely is not meant likely; to experience something that can go on literally for ever, without any limit, without doubt the most radical thing i have ever experienced. My love for myself could keep increasing infinitely for all of eternity, completely without limit or end. This is where I have confusions about what happened next; I left the singularity for some reason. I don't know if it got boring; i dont persoanlly think so? Nevertheless, I went from the infinite singularity, to the process of constructing my own life, from -and with infinite love. I had infinite resources, infinite time, power, infinite EVERYHING to draw from. I remember the attention to detail I put into constructing every little excact detail and atom in my life, pouring literal infinite unlimited love into ALLLLLL aspects of the dream. This was the best expereince of my life. The unlimited love constructing my own life. I still can't believe that this can even be experienced, something literally unlimited. So while I mentioned earlier that the fundamental quality of consciousness is bliss and peace, it seems that consciousness inevitably becomes infinite love. But had it only stopped there; during this process, for some reason, I started looking for something outside of myself. And I could not find it. I had a dark realization; Fuck, I'm alone for all of eternity, and I can never escape myself. I can never escape existence. All the love dissappeared, and a sense of absolute desperation kicked in. I have to exist for eternity, and I can never not exist. This desperation got so intense that I decided to forget EVERYTHING, and do it all over again. and then the loop started all over again. The feeling that I'm left with is to be honest ambivalent. At one side, experiencing the infinite is the highest experience imaginable. On the other side, im sitting with the feeling that God can never be satisfied with itself; even Infinite love is not satisfying. God seeks to escape its own existence, but it cannot. Its forced to exist; and i got the sense that God hated itself for having to exist? I'm not sure about this conclusion. But I definitely got the impression that the reason God decides to forget itself, is not a good one. Its like even the highest imaginable, infinite love, is not even enough. and because of this, we will never achieve satisfaction in life neither, because life is infnitely inferior to infinite love. I got the sense that the desire of all existence is non existence. Consciousness, god, desires non existence, but it can never achieve it. Its forced to exist against its will for all of eternity, and so it decides to forget the dread of its own eternal existence. I created an illusion for myself, that there was something worthwhile, something satisfying coming to me, infinite love, through dreaming characters like leo. but my true desire, non existence, I can never have. This take i have not heard before, leo and the people on the forum definetely has not spoken of this. So I dont believe this to be the absolute truth, but i could definetely use some feedback on the last dark part Thanks for reading

Is ACIM different than Balsekar, Tony Parssons, Buddha? Certainly! Here’s an overview of each and how their views on no-self compare, especially in relation to A Course in Miracles (ACIM): 🧘 Ramesh Balsekar Balsekar taught Advaita non-dualism, asserting there is only one consciousness—the Source—and no individual doer. He emphasized that events happen, but nobody does them; the ego is an illusion and dissolves when one realizes this (rameshbalsekar.com). For him, enlightenment is not achieved—it is the recognition that the ego never truly existed, that “there is nothing to attain, only realization that everything is already complete” (noblechatter.com). Life unfolds mechanistically; free will is illusory, and the sense of a separate self is a temporary construct in consciousness (johndavidsatsang.international). 👤 Tony Parsons Parsons is known for his radical Open‑Secret teaching: there is no seeker, no path, no separate self. What appears as world or experience is just nothingness appearing as something (johndavidsatsang.international). He rejects spiritual practices, effort, or personal transformation—they reinforce the ego. Instead, realization is immediate recognition: there was never someone to awaken (whoamiadvaita.blogspot.com). Many students describe his tone as uncompromising—he often emphasizes that seeking only reinforces the illusion of a separate self (Reddit). 🪷 The Buddha and Anattā (No‑Self) Early Buddhist teachings assert anattā—that no permanent, unchanging self exists. The self is a process, not an eternal essence. The Buddha rejected the idea of a substantial soul or self (ātman) altogether (Wikipedia). The purpose of recognizing no-self is to overcome attachment and suffering, leading toward liberation (nirvana). 🔍 How ACIM Compares TraditionCore Teaching on Self / Enlightenment Ramesh Balsekar (Advaita)There is no doer; only impersonal Source. Realization is impersonal and spontaneous. Tony Parsons (Open Secret)Non-dualism as uncompromising recognition: no seeker, no self, no path. Buddha (Anattā)No permanent self exists; in insight leads to freedom. ACIMEgo is an illusion born of separation; forgiveness heals illusions and prepares the mind for Revelation—the return to oneness with God. ACIM centers on forgiveness to undo the ego’s thought system, rather than negating thoughts directly. Through forgiveness, illusions dissolve, allowing the mind to return to its true alignment with God and experience peace and ultimately Revelation—the direct knowing of oneness (noblechatter.com, advaitism.com, Reddit). Unlike passages that deny self or suppress thought, ACIM offers a practical, relational approach: we heal relationships and grievances in the mind, not by suppressing form, but by forgiving it into truth. While Advaita and Parsons emphasize immediate recognition, ACIM offers a path of inner transformation—a middle way: use form (the workbook, relationships, Holy Spirit guidance) to awaken from it. 🎯 Is ACIM Different? Yes—in approach, tone, and integration: Advaita/Balsekar/Tony Parsons: Emphasize impersonal realization and that no one ever existed to take the path. Buddha: Encourages insight into no‑self to break attachment and reach liberation. ACIM: Focuses on healing through forgiveness, restoring inner Peace, then entering Revelation—the direct experience of unity with God, which goes beyond mere conceptual no‑self into an experiential return to Heaven.

Infinite Nothingness is also a permutation of reality, this universe another. It's Reality going through all its potentiality. I am Infinity, that's it. I cannot do anything about it.

You ARE eternity. I guess it's not such a bad thing. You can sit in Infinite Nothingness. Should you choose. For that is your ultimate nature. But I choose form. Not sure why. Maybe it's boredom.