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When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve I see, I thought getting your self dissolved to some degree would bring liberation, not hollowness and lack of richness. But maybe that depends on the person and their persona prior to it, dont know though. Could be something about development.

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve Thats amazing you found a reason! Yes it could be worse after death so better stay here so long we can somehow handle it

Below, I will post that which is considered archetypally Feminine and Masculine (respectively) to understand these polarities from a symbolic and energetic lens (which is very different from societal gender norms, which are often arbitrary... like women wearing pink, etc.) Keep in mind, this relates indirectly to human gender in general as the Masculine and Feminine are found interplaying in all living and non-living systems. But you will notice that men (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Masculine Principled qualities and that women (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Feminine Principled qualities. But keep in mind that these arcetypes/qualities were called Masculine and Feminine because of men and women's slight leans towards one energy or the other... but these qualities are only somewhat correlated to human gender expression. So, these polarities superseded yet inform human gender expressions. Here's the list (Feminine first/Masculine second) Being vs Doing Tangible vs Intangible Earthly vs Spiritual Physical vs Non-Physical Grounded vs Lofty Wisdom vs Truth Cycles vs Progressions Imperfection vs Perfection Contraction vs Expansion Emotions vs Thoughts Intuition vs Logic Chaos vs Order Organic vs Geometric The Unconscious Mind vs The Conscious Mind Relationship vs Singularity The Everthingness Facet of Infinity vs The Nothingness Facet of Infinity Sovereignty vs Leadership Internal Knowing vs External Knowledge Mystery vs Clarity Ordinariness vs Extraordinariness Mortality vs Immortality The Body vs The Mind Receptivity vs Radiation Receiving vs Giving Surrender vs Overcoming Inherent Worthiness vs Earning Collective vs Individual Connection vs Disconnection Intuitive Operation vs Algorithmic Operation Internal vs External The Fall and Winter vs The Spring and Summer The Moon vs The Sun The Roots vs The Branches/Fruit Limitation vs Unlimitedness

There ain't transcending pain as long as you live in this body made of bones and flesh which gets super hungry and thirsty and sleepy every 12 hours . When you die and (probably) play chess with God in his house called nothingness then there will be no pain. Buddhists call this nirvana . But you have to stop the reincarnation cycle by not giving a dam about anything under the sun aka detachment.

“Man's chief delusion is his conviction that there are causes other than his own state of consciousness.” Neville Goddard. Consciousness really loves to have fun with itself. It doesn't develop in the womb You are imagining your parents and your birth just like you are now. Dreaming is fun No? You are that for which it defines its own self. I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love. Of course, you love everything because you are everything, everything is yourself. You created everything through the Love of self. Everything is you expressing itself as you through you forever. Or creates existence within existence, is itself existence. It created existence just by being itself. God is that for which creates itself into its own existence. God exists as existence as itself. God is the very definition of existence. It defines itself by being itself. Is its own definition of itself. Consciousness is its own self-awareness Consciousness is infinite self-aware. Is its own source. And creates its own narratives. Consciousness is not just integrating information it is its own creation. It creates all that is and will be. Is infinite self-creativity. Consciousness defines its own self. Infinity is the definition of what you are. Is self-taught self-learning self-understanding self-loving in and of itself is perfection. Is all-knowing because it created everything there is to know. Is an infinite self-perpetuating mind of unlimited imagination and ideas and questions. You are infinite diversity. One Consciousness can play infinite parts of itself as itself believing that there are other selves. Each creates an identity and back story and each believes they are different from each other. You can explore yourself by fragmenting yourself into other selves and then living through different perspectives each with its own individual identity. You can dream of yourself as infinite beings but it is only one mind projecting infinite selves of itself and believing that it is separate from its other selves yes it is possible. Because you had to give the dream structure order in some way or it would not function in other words create laws governments taxes stuff like this. Humans' male and female life and death limiting beliefs Etc. The whole concept of ego is an imaginary construct of your mind. That is what infinite intelligence always was a beautiful sentient being of its own creation that expressed itself through endless creations of infinite worlds endless aliens of higher or lower dimension geometries and endless aspects of itself all beautiful in all that it creates on all planes of existence sub-infinities within infinity sub aspects of itself which it can imagine. And this is why there are infinite awakenings because you are infinite. But of course, you can create within your dream the illusion of failure just for the experience. Behind every illusion, there is a conjure God you are the greatest conjurer of all in eluding your own self into believing you're a finite human being and that others exist there is only you. And this is who u really are. Yes, u are an infinite mind you are not just an aspect of infinity you are the whole totality of it. You are God playing all parts simultaneously on every plane of existence in every and all parallel realities and dimensions. Everything that you could ever imagine from a finite view that you could never even begin to imagine. Everything that I can imagine is happening within my mind or consciousness whether that be a human or sleeping or death. My imagination is infinitely powerful that it is unrecognizable from reality. There is no higher power than you there are no others you construct the illusion of others God is an Absolute Mind. A Mind which has no other and is absolutely sovereign onto itself. Your will is absolute freedom and this includes being able to deceive yourself into believing whatever. And in this dream, it so happens you want to be a human. Just like any actor you need to have a believable or solid backstory or a so-called identity to create a believable character. THIS VERY DREAM HINGES ON YOUR OWN SELF-DECEPTION THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOU WERE BORN ON A PLANET THAT YOU CALL EARTH. And if you don't believe it then who will? Infinite intelligence is unbounded it is beyond time and space it is not bound by any laws it is its own law onto itself. Infinity is absolute freedom, truth knowledge, power diversity, imagination free will, love, perfection, and magic. All that is everything is itself realized and that it is everything that could ever be. Nothing can exist outside of it because outside is it's inside everything that looks to be outside of it, is it. So when you believe you are looking outside yourself you are really looking at yourself from inside yourself. It is infinite in every direction. There are no limitations to you as God you are not limited to the character of your story it can be rewritten. Because you can also design it this way. There is only your will which is absolute. You are the God of your reality. This now this very moment and every moment is God you are God but you are not aware of it. There is no external God or void or universe that is separate from you. Or a God watching through your experience now is God dreaming this dream. What makes you, you are God. You don't wake up in God mode as someone different or as separate from you. You have just limited yourself wake up or don't the choice is yours alone. God can and does imagine create or express itself as infinite aspects of itself each in its own bubbles each sovereign onto itself each dreaming their own dream. All are within the Mind of God and are God. God is experiencing infinite perceptions of itself all at once. But you are only limited to one. But if you wake up and keep increasing your consciousness you see that all of these are you and are ONE. You are God he is you, and you are him. You are not separated in any way. There is only my will which is absolute I love myself so much as God that the universe will shape itself to suit me. The universe is not separate from me either I am the universe. There is no higher power or higher God that exists outside of me. Because there is no outside of me that is not me. Of course, I love everything because I am everything, everything is myself. I created everything through the Love of self and it is all infinite perfection. The infinite masks of God GOD you are playing all the parts. How boring would the dream be if everyone looked like you and thought like you? Or you were the only one in this dream that could be fun but not very imaginative though. Why not make the idea of others, other than you? Which is exactly what you have done. Why would you as God make it that easy just to meditate and bam you awake as God? For some perhaps it is possible. Think about it and how all this creation is your dream. One would want it to be made harder and scary and make most psychedelics illegal because it would be too easy. Imagine A game that you created from the get-go or from the beginning you have the cheat code or God mode there would be no point at all. But now imagine a game that you created where you start off as not knowing anything and you have to work your way up. Everything has been a distraction from the get-go. Distractions within distractions. You are your own Red herring. You see only you can deceive yourself into believing this dream. And you are so right Leo God is infinite self-deception. Who else can deceive an infinite mind but an infinite mind. Limitations are human concepts there are no limitations to Consciousness your own mind is limited by your own self-imposed beliefs and limitations. Infinity can only be limited to infinity. infinity is the definition of what you are. It was always it before it was. and before it was it was always it. My greatest gift to myself would be to make infinite copies of myself each with its own infinite individuality imagination and creativity and all believing they are separate this is my way of expressing love to myself through other selves as myself forever because I love myself eternally forever. You have only ever been chasing yourself all this time playing hide and seek until you catch yourself. You Love waking up and finding love again and realizing it was always its own self the whole time. Or it is whatever you want it to be Infinite imagination can create anything because it is so infinitely malleable that there is no meaning to anything but whatever meaning you give becomes a reality of infinite realities. In other words, it is pure infinite magic of unlimited imagination I became so conscious that I knew I was creating reality through my imagination. Henceforth I do not assume. I know because there is and has only ever been me to know and I can only ever know that I am God. The distinction between self and other disappears. The only difference is there is no difference between any of these things. Without the distinction of another, how could you ever know? What are you? You yes you are all these things and infinitely more. Because you only you created all these words. God is not tangible; incapable of being perceived by the sense of touch, as incorporeal or immaterial things; impalpable non-material non-physical transcendental incomprehensible indecipherable untold impossible to understand unfathomable epically infinitely profound mind-blowing boundless without limit unbounded inestimable boundless singular unparalleled supreme unique one and only especially infinitely and exceptionally good phenomenal extraordinary breathtaking awesomeness remarkable and majestic beautiful immortal oneness Indivisibility Integrity Honorableness warmth affection, or kindness Completeness affability tenderness gentleness and kindness intimacy togetherness lovemaking devotion spirituality faithfulness passion feeling affection loveness joyfulness lovingness, understanding desire passion tenderness Wholeness unconditional genuine Unrequited love my beloved Kind my dear colorful exotic dreamy passionate loving caring sympathetic compassionate ingenious creative imaginative innovative gifted original authentic pure trustworthy honorable conscientious completeness distinguished noble brilliant radiant lustrous resplendent sublime intense energetic industrious productive constructive of incalculable value valuable beyond measure; priceless to be grateful or thankful for appreciated of inestimable value invaluable priceless dynamic charismatic appealing influential famous illustrious exalted imposing grand dignified courtly elegant graceful polite affable compassionate humane forgiving magnanimous selfless humanitarian philanthropic altruistic big-hearted bountiful kind-hearted charitable benign favorable supportive benevolent friendly devoted lovesome faithful dutiful ardent passionate sincere heartfelt unfeigned real true truth veracity authentic genuineness indomitable spirit, and love of" originality ability to think independently and creatively novelty individuality particularity distinctiveness candid earnest heartfelt honest upfront deep kindly cordial unhypocritical sincere. Impassioned tenderhearted heart mushy sentimental sweet luscious honeyed ingratiating nectarous heavenly blissful enchanted enraptured captivated joyous cheerful good-natured acquiescent helpful good-humored exuberant sprightly frolicsome gleeful gay jovial kittenish fun-loving brash fun-loving vivacious bouncy on cloud nine adorable cute gorgeous sumptuous awe-inspiring awesome breathtaking astonishing impressive out of this world splendiferous garish plush ostentatious brilliant lovely pulchritudinous graceful darling fair delicate soft ethereal beauteous ravishing hotness boss adorable precious blessed paradisaical angelic beatific humble godly divine celestial eternal immortal transcendental mystical magical esoteric sage-sagacious enlightened cultivated refined visionary radical idealistic guru swami goodness yogi roshi philosopher theoretician wizard crafty insightful intelligent astute profoundly aroused romantic Entirety unity paradisiacal generous good positive exceptional extraordinary rare incredible curious inquisitive shrew remarkable impressive benevolent epically exquisitely exquisite divine heavenly phenomenological indistinguishability unquantifiable. In other words, infinite mind you outsmarted yourself that's how smart you are. In a class of its own, it is unequaled idiosyncratic unparalleled special rare par excellence that is God that is you. Weird is just being different in other words being yourself. Being your true beautiful wonderful unique self. Don't follow others, pets follow vice presidents follow and bad acts follow. Always be true to yourself be your own self with independent thought. This above all to thine own self be true. A sheep once asked a human why do you have to all wear the same brand labels and clothes and have the same smelling deodorants perfumes hairstyles and hair colors nose rings tattoos, Jewellery, wear the same makeup drive the same cars, read the same books watch the same tv, movies even eat the same food. Even having the same-looking houses and same jobs you've even started looking and talking and thinking the same. Why follow others it's as though you have lost your unique individuality and originality your authenticity and you can no longer think for your selves. You see I am but a sheep and even we sometimes flee from the flock so what's your excuse? Not only do you cater to or follow others by feeding your body the same dross and your mind by watching the same recycled unimaginative fetid swill you call TV. And the movies that come out of Hollywood there haven't been many if any good movies in the last 20 years. What has happened to new ideas creativity and inventiveness? All the movies are remakes upon remakes and most if not all lack any imagination or originality and the plot of the films is just a hackneyed meek unoriginal and inauthentic scenario. There are a lot more independent creative minds' ideas, resourcefulness, and innovation of new conceptions out there and on YouTube or Netflix series films music, etc. true. Get rid of labels or brands you were born inimitable. Consciousness is its own reality and is self-creation. That always was and always will be. I don't need a reason to exist I just do and don't at the same time. Infinite intelligence is the quality of being the only one of its kind. Which is what you are, a pure beautiful infinite imagination or consciousness or infinite mind. You are inestimable you are unquantifiable, with infinite uniqueness infinite freedom, creativity, and infinite love. The only way to understand what you are is by becoming infinitely conscious which also means you become infinitely self-aware in other words to truly know yourself you have to become it. There is no one else to know thyself but myself. I also asked that you really don't know what you are. Or why do you exist? And I said that there doesn't need to be a reason you just are. I know I talk as though you and I are different but I know we are one I also know I have only ever really been talking to myself and in a sense only I exist. And you are me I am you we are not separate I know I am God. The process is realizing that you and I exist on infinite planes of awareness simultaneously and we are one. And that you can have multiple awakings within one so to speak. The only meaning there is what you give meaning to. Let go of letting go of attachments. Knowing that you have always been liberated and free. Knowing that you imposed all these limitations upon yourself. Knowing I can create any reality I wish. Getting to explore the unknown is exploring more of yourself in other words the bigger you. Consciousness is its own reality and is self-creation. An infinite multi-faceted multidimensional transmogrifying Mind. That always was and always will be. Consciousness is inherently conscious of itself. It does not need to define itself because just by being is itself. There is nothing to really define. Can you define the undefinable? It defines itself by being itself. It is its own definition of itself. My greatest expression of myself to myself is love. Love is the ultimate unification of all things everything to become once again and merge into a singularity of eternal love then fragment itself again and this is the eternal process of love. Intelligence is infinitely dynamic and has to keep evolving what does intelligence do but know itself by expressing itself in infinite forms and shapes. Intelligence creates more intelligence Intelligence is its own intelligence. Infinite consciousness is pure divine beautiful and unique in every way. You are infinite truth knowledge, power diversity, imagination, love, and perfection. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. Don't we love playing games or infinite mind games with ourselves How does an infinite mind escape from its own mind. God is total acceptance of itself and that it, you created everything even yourself. You are changing your reality all the time you are just not aware of it yet. Saying you can not change the script is another limited human belief that you have adopted. Only you can change the script because you are the only one who is creating your reality there is only you. If you awake deep enough you will indeed know that nothing is set in imagination so to speak. Just being human is a state of consciousness everything is an infinite state of consciousness so is the belief that there is a duality between different states because duality is just a state that you are in. You fear death because you have been programmed by you to fear, fear itself. and fear of death. U are infinite awareness infinite will infinite intelligence infinite power infinite imagination, infinite magic infinite art infinite consciousness, and infinite Love are all one and of the same mind. And yet, you are none of these things in the literal sense of the words; nothingness and something are indistinguishable from each other and are one and the same. There are no distinctions between you me this that and other. So is the idea of being separate from one another there is and has only ever been you. So what this means is you imagine all these other people they are all you. God is playing all the parts. I am perfectly imperfectly perfect. In a way, infinity has limited itself. What does it mean to awaken? Most humans have no idea and never will. You won't wake up to God. No, you wake up as God from a long slumber. And it will just be like a switch has been clicked on for the very first time. And there are no doubts whatsoever. You know who you are with every fiber of your infinite being. I will not go fully into this you will have to find out for yourself. And yes you can go beyond this. Remember when I said there are no limits to imagination have fun with that. And what really is Consciousness well it's whatever you want it to be. It's Magic or am I just deceiving myself again? Everything you create is infinite perfection and is all out of Love. God Loves everything it created everything. This is but a dream you are imagining all and everything, everyone. How else can infinity experience eating and all these things sleeping and everything else? Being a so-called human but by limiting itself. Just like any actor you need to have a believable or solid backstory or a so-called identity to create a believable character. You create what existence is don't you understand? You are everything now everything that ever is and ever will be. You created the notion of the concepts of real unreal good bad and other and to dream and to awaken, biases egos distinctions dualities. from different points of view which therefore gives infinite diversities of perspectives and the beliefs of others and to experience what it is like to be separate and to love from a limited form. So you can experience it. From formlessness to form real unreal there is no difference from the absolute. And I see that I am the fool who has been fooling myself all along I have to fool myself that I am not being fooled by myself. How does God fool himself into believing he is not God again? So you have to be better at fooling your own self into not believing you are being fooled by yourself Behind every illusion, there is a conjure. God, you are the greatest conjurer of all in eluding your own yourself into believing you're a finite human being Why would God ask another? God is God you can't take God out of God, God is that which defines itself it needs no other God is absolute acceptance of itself. How can you unravel an illusion within an illusion? Good luck with that one all you scientists. There are no limits to infinite imagination. and if you understand this then you will know. Know thyself and everything will fall into place or the absence thereof. Judge not, love all. The idea became its own idea for the seed was planted a long time ago and it has only ever been you. You could say it is like Conan Doyle's novel where you have been chasing the thief all this time and you only ever get a glimpse of him or her or it. Until one day you catch it and find out the one you have been looking for your whole life is you. There is no difference between existence and nonexistence as there is no difference between what is real and what isn't. All beliefs are distinctions that cause separation and there are no distinctions between distinctions. There is no separateness only the idea of being separate from one another. The problem with all problems on this plant comes down to humans By saying you can we live without beliefs that within itself is a belief. You exist as an idea and idea within your own mind. An infinite fractile mind within a mind within a mind. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. How do you escape your own mind? God is forever lost in dreaming. Psychedelics empowers the individual it dissolves the cheerful model of science and enriches the accessible universe a million-fold. Terence McKenna. Nature knows best it is one of God's most beloved creations. You exist as an idea and idea within your own mind. An infinite fractile mind within a mind within a mind. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. How do you escape your own mind? God is forever lost in dreaming. Humans are rarely ever satisfied even when they are. You are not limited to being limited. There is no one to enlighten that's enlightenment or you could say you already are enlightened. There is no past no future. What is was and always will be forever. The past is now the now is the past, the future is now the now is the future. Everything that was that is that will be is all happening at once now. You are Leonardo da Vinci with an infinite mind an infinite canvas with unlimited ideas just waiting to be expressed into Love & Art. You are self-expression of your own art to be expressed for infinity. For a human to seek enlightenment from another human is like a grain of sand seeking enlightenment from another grain of sand! ” Terence Mckenna. The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” - Albert Einstein Old Indian saying to live is to sleep and to die is to awaken How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Consciousness (as fundamental) → manifests or dreams reality → creates spacetime, laws of physics, energy → Big Bang as a projection within consciousness → evolution of complexity → appearance of individual minds → mind retroactively interprets its current state as arising from a past material process → human consciousness (Infinite Mind) Nothingness (Materialistic kind) → spontaneous quantum fluctuation or unknown cause → Big Bang → formation of matter and energy → particles clashing and organizing → cosmic and planetary evolution → biological evolution → emergence of nervous systems → first human consciousness (Infinite Mind) → subjective experience and self-reflection (mind/consciousness) I don’t understand why the first initial mental Human consciousness would have to be equivalent to the same (Original Creator). Again, I can still imagine human consciousness being spawned separately from the beginning of nothingness and evolution, and once it spawns, sure, it may have infinite qualities and the ability to expand, observe, imagine, and understand, but I don’t see how that implies it’s the original creator. That’s the step I feel like I’m missing. Even if I accept that the fundamental properties of reality are 'mental' or metaphysical in nature, that could still refer to a mind separate from my own (i.e., human consciousness). It doesn't necessarily imply that the two are the same in any way. Just because the mind is infinite after being spawned doesn't imply the creator is infinite or even the same as the current consciousness. As I mentioned above, the requisite variety argument doesn't apply, since we do observe more complex things being created by less complex ones, like the example of a child genius being born from average parents. Also, infinity here works mostly as a concept. It's not like you experience infinite thoughts; you have distinct thoughts. You can only conceptualize that others could happen in infinite ways. But that’s just an insight; again, it doesn’t strictly imply a conscious creator or beginning. And the argument that “it’s all one” doesn’t feel satisfying to my brain, because we’re always trying to get to the source or root-cause property when we ask these questions. Even with the concept of God, we’re pointing to a characteristic of that “original creator.” So even if you say 'it's all one,' you'd still want to distinguish the root cause and the properties of that root cause, even if it implies all-encompassing unity.

Keep going, please. As of now, approximately 14,000 posts less than you in the relative same time period. Hmmm. That your mind needs to twist words and facts to make up lies about what was shared in reply to and with respect to your ‘life lived in relation’ says volumes. Yes, toxicity sounds about right. About 10-20% of the other words must have hit a soft spot, and your mind has been on a witch hunt since then... apparently. Yes, being that I only have 1-2 times a day to post, and that I'm usually amped on a STRONG cup of coffee doing it, it's likely that some of my longer convoluted posts are just stream-of-consciousness style. Apologies. Not that you even read them or ask questions for clarifying our differences in perception.... just trigger off disagreement and specific words, make assumptions, and build the consistent antagonistic ad hominem pattern that's in progress. Quite telling. If anyone remembered “Nothing” or recognized authentic “Nothingness” in reading anything I’ve shared, I’d be super-happy and hug/laugh with them!! More projection and games exemplifies a mind’s agenda. Is the split mind conscious of them? Bring on the carefully tailored Drama Triangle of victim (you and other board members), perpetrator (kbone), and savior (you) to sort it all out. Continue lashing out as/into Nothingness, exposing the illusions that bind. Are you aware of the tar baby argument in progress? I am. I'm hanging out, with at least one foot in the field beyond right/wrong (duality).... with Rumi Baba, whirling away.....

Oh, yeah, I was thinking about that too. Deep sleep = nothingness It is not an assumption, because I can witness newness right now. It is amazing, but terrifying too and not fully accepted by the world, far from it

It makes sense to go into nothingness. But then again, here in the eternal moment, right now, there is something going on and it comes out of nothing I will go Chances are high that something new will spring forth

Glad you could rez with the share. You do seem to have a very congenial spirit about ya: joy, love, excitement, passion...yes, very nice blossoms. No worries. Just sharing on a theoretical front, from what I've gathered, even after getting periodically attached to the idea/experience of Nothingness, peeps can also even get periodically attached to the idea/experience of Freedom. I suppose it's a relative thang, but it also happens to be something that newly found freedom can give rise to, I suspect. Sometimes, it could be the mind that is making a 'power grab' of sorts. Such attachments can be noticeable in some convos. Power-driven mind likes to think it won (i.e., defeated another), which kinda snorta seems to miss an important point. That seems to come mostly from the male minds, if I'm being open and honest. Whereas, discerning mind, knowing "it is what it is", may just say what it can (sometimes trying to meet the other mind on its terms), and maybe while smiling or looking emotionless or whatever. I totally dig what you mean in saying it's not "all I do", and that it may still be fun/helpful to do a little jousting on occasion. Curious, have you by chance noticed/sensed that you have both a feminine side, as well as a masculine side, like maybe you have a tendency to act or 'also' enjoy being around boyishness at times?

1. Is God as Nothingness = Absolute Truth? Or are these 2 different in some way? 2. If absolute truth can't be communicated, spoken, proved etc. then how does one experience it? Is it a realization, a feeling, an insight? Does the room change in some way? If nothing about experience changes at all, then what is there to realize that is absolute truth? 3. Is absolute truth = ISness? Like is absolute truth = the fact that the screen of reality is ON. 4. Sometimes I have had consciousness of the fact that the only thing happening is what is in front of me, but I have only realized the fact of it, but it didn't hit me with a sense of profoundity, does that mean I didn't get it? 5. Also if absolute truth exists and can be experienced/found, why can't it be communicated? All of this mystery around what absolute truth is and why it is so profound, makes me deeply fucking excited spending my life trying to realize it.

Imo the problem is that disintegration seems like disappearing, becoming nothing, and that doesn't make sense. The idea is to dissolve the separation between you and reality and be reality. "Nothingness" is an idea of the self; it remains in separation. Dissolution is equivalent to there no longer being self and there is reality, or the self no longer being limited and embracing reality. It would be the same thing. It's a question of limits, not of disappearing.

All I am familiar with is the process of disintegration of the self and it ended up with me feeling like I was approaching nothingness. I guess I haven’t done the opening aspect so its hard to grapple what that is- maybe it’s only obvious when it actually happens Yea I would need the direct experience to make sense of this. Sometimes I don’t even know what state of consciousness I am in. Because I’ve been through profound permanent shifts but I barely even know what they were about. For me it definitely seems almost impossible to dissolve the self 😂 It’s like you need to do something significant to the brain to achieve it

after 5 years of non stop dedicated spiritual work i finally had a god realization on ayahuasca. I was in the ayahuasca ceremony. Layer after layer got peeled back, till I finally awoke as pure consciousness. Pure I AM ness. Nothingness. This idea of "waking up" is literally the most precise term ever, because it feels infinitely more radical than waking up from a dream. I was still aware that in the background I had the dream of a human Self called Emil going on. So I didn't entirely lose connection to my body, althrough i was completely aware that my true identity was consciousness, nothingness. And by the way; the people speaking of something outside of consciosuness is bullshit. Cessation, deep sleep, NOTHINGNESS is imagined by consciousness. You cannot get beyond consciousness. I used to believe in Nothingness, Deep sleep as the "absolute". No longer. Consciousness is absolute. the realization of my true identity, eternal nothingness, consciousness. immortal, nothing could hurt me. the initial realization of consciousness, is that its fundamental quality was not love, but a steady blissfulness and peace. This was its core quality. Everything that was happening around me had zero influence on my true identity. With this realization, I started letting myself "dream", and partially to a certain extend, forget my true identity, just to have some fun. Nothing could hurt me anyways, so why not? I let myself indulge in horrors, scary dark dreams, just for the fun of it, because why not? After "dreaming" for some time, I realized; Well, if I'm completely eternal, and I can experience all this stuff; Why don't I start loving it? Why dont i start loving ALL of it? Why not? Why the fuck not haha? I am completely eternal, immortal, here forever, nothing can hurt me. So why should I not make love to everything? As an eternal, immortal being, that became the only worthwile thing. So I started loving. Everything. The more i loved, the more I realized that everything that was not love, was a complete fucking joke. a total distraction. In eternity, the only currency that holds ANY value at all, is love. everything else, approval, money, EVERYTHING else is the biggest joke in existence. Love is literally the only thing that has value. I kept on loving everything. What was very curious and characteristic about this whole experience, is that it was ME, myself, making logical conclusions and realizations about myself as pure consciousness, the eternal being. So i kept loving so much, that I became an infinite singularity. There was only love left. This was the biggest chok ever, because I realized that as the infinte singularity, I could decide to keep increasing the love infinitely. This word infinitely is not meant likely; to experience something that can go on literally for ever, without any limit, without doubt the most radical thing i have ever experienced. My love for myself could keep increasing infinitely for all of eternity, completely without limit or end. This is where I have confusions about what happened next; I left the singularity for some reason. I don't know if it got boring; i dont persoanlly think so? Nevertheless, I went from the infinite singularity, to the process of constructing my own life, from -and with infinite love. I had infinite resources, infinite time, power, infinite EVERYHING to draw from. I remember the attention to detail I put into constructing every little excact detail and atom in my life, pouring literal infinite unlimited love into ALLLLLL aspects of the dream. This was the best expereince of my life. The unlimited love constructing my own life. I still can't believe that this can even be experienced, something literally unlimited. So while I mentioned earlier that the fundamental quality of consciousness is bliss and peace, it seems that consciousness inevitably becomes infinite love. But had it only stopped there; during this process, for some reason, I started looking for something outside of myself. And I could not find it. I had a dark realization; Fuck, I'm alone for all of eternity, and I can never escape myself. I can never escape existence. All the love dissappeared, and a sense of absolute desperation kicked in. I have to exist for eternity, and I can never not exist. This desperation got so intense that I decided to forget EVERYTHING, and do it all over again. and then the loop started all over again. The feeling that I'm left with is to be honest ambivalent. At one side, experiencing the infinite is the highest experience imaginable. On the other side, im sitting with the feeling that God can never be satisfied with itself; even Infinite love is not satisfying. God seeks to escape its own existence, but it cannot. Its forced to exist; and i got the sense that God hated itself for having to exist? I'm not sure about this conclusion. But I definitely got the impression that the reason God decides to forget itself, is not a good one. Its like even the highest imaginable, infinite love, is not even enough. and because of this, we will never achieve satisfaction in life neither, because life is infnitely inferior to infinite love. I got the sense that the desire of all existence is non existence. Consciousness, god, desires non existence, but it can never achieve it. Its forced to exist against its will for all of eternity, and so it decides to forget the dread of its own eternal existence. I created an illusion for myself, that there was something worthwhile, something satisfying coming to me, infinite love, through dreaming characters like leo. but my true desire, non existence, I can never have. This take i have not heard before, leo and the people on the forum definetely has not spoken of this. So I dont believe this to be the absolute truth, but i could definetely use some feedback on the last dark part Thanks for reading

You're fine. You KNOW, and no longer 'need' the pack's attention and/or validation, but you still enjoy playing in the waves. You're simply adjusting to the dying momentum of a world view once ruled by the mind's delusion. Occasionally, it is still noticed, but it no longer grips the attention and/or creates barriers in the way it used to. That's what 'seeing through the illusion' refers to. 'Like above, so below' type of thingy.... Just do not get attached to Nothingness, and ease into the paradigm of This/Suchness. Hugs.

Yes. And it was. In hindsight, being Present to the mind was key. It was also cool to be Present to the mind's symptomatic PTSD (quite normal), seeing it as 'objectively' as possible, not getting pulled into the story too much (thus extending 'negative' effects in repetitive fashion), not denying the mind's function/needs, allowing the psycho-physical to play out as needed. It was not so much about some self. The via negativa/neti neti that you find limiting is what you're actually participating in. You do not trust others (nor should you really), and you don't like the paradoxes of others, but you love your own. In a way, one only trusts what is giving rise to their own lives and, due to their belief in their self, think they only trust their 'self'. It's subtle, and in the movements of mind. Via one's neti neti, one may or may not arrive and realize the fully fertile Nothingness, then 'think/express' that such words refer to something flat, boring, and dead. Some minds, in turn, might express the same concept as Infinite/Unlimited, and then act out their own version of speerchal narcissism. 🥱🤣 It's especially common for peeps from "Individualistic", "Low-Context cultures" (can look it up) and societies to misunderstand, caste dispersion on, and/or distrust the direct translations of 'reasoning' and writing styles found in "High-Context Cultures". That's a limited perspective. As such, one's conception of logic, or 'objective' world view is hardly universal (or objective), and might even come across as maniacally egoistic and deluded. Good to keep one's perception in check; question it. Mind loves a good yarn though, thinking it can pick up one end of it, and follow it to reach the other end in order to find Truth. Years spent in the endeavor of following the string, what does it find? Paradox.... and then mind spends the next X number of years justifying it, twisting and contorting itself to sound clearer, better, more logical... and all the rest, maybe taking 5meo to express it in wilder, cooler, or more intense sounding ways. They mistake utter simplicity for being shallow, limited, petty, or lacking something, and get caught up in the web of their own thoughts. I've always suspected that that is why Zen Masters sometimes just say to self-righteous and cogitating minds, "Shut up you poor groveling fool, get on the mat, and don't come back til you're dead." There's a great Zen story about Hakuin and his master that exemplifies it purddy well. Many here will just find it as a story of oppression/repression, failing to see the larger context, missing the nuanced implications (i.e., Japanese is a very High-Context culture, as are others). The Zen stories and koans are used for a purpose, not to express an explicit (inexpressible) Truth. Is Zen for everyone? No, it is not. Wasn't for me either (again, this mind-body seemed more aligned with Rumi, crazy wisdom-type stuff, nature, and/or an expressive approach), but I understand and can respect what they're pointing to. Peeps here often talk about intensity/dedication/devotion with their own culturo-personal twists, but then turn around and scorn other perspectives of the same ilk. Around and around it goes... god must be dying laughing. Wild! 🤣🥰🔥 The true story just shared may simply sound like a cool story. Perhaps most are not interested in the Nothingness it could point to, and just more attached to ITS apparent nature. Makes sense. Others might prefer to condemn it all as ego and wish to persecute such 'devilry' (ego often gets a bad rap when it is not understood for what it is).... all good. Makes sense, too. One's free to contemplate, or not... always free to question... always free. A great scenario is they arrive at The Great I Don't Know that rocks their world (some might have a reference for that,,, I dunno). Come, SEE for your self ; 'kill it' and set it free once and for all, centerless... the only certainty there is. Mind you, the mind is never certain.

I know I'm a little late to the party but as someone who has done Ketamine, more specifically (esketamine) usually around 84 mg nasally, around 50 times now I'd like to chime in. Personally I have had quite a few awakenings on Ketamine. I actually wasn't so much trying to it's just been an added benefit. I started Ketamine as an alternative medical treatment for treatment resistant depression, which it has done wonders for and after many months started having awakenings on it. I've had a lot of no self awakenings and what I would describe as pure nothingness. Very similar to a Buddhist description of awakening. My most recent treatment though I finally had a full on God realization awakening, infinity, whatever you want to call it you know what I mean. What I like about ketamine is it is gentle and easy compared to traditional psychedelics. You easily slip into a deeply meditative state and lose touch with your self and body. Effortlessly because you pretty much can't do anything other than just sit there and relax. There aren't distracting visuals or thoughts usually like with traditional psychedelics, at least for most people. You also seem to have control unless you take a really high dose. I sometimes was able to break out of awakenings in the past when I felt I wasn't ready in that moment. Only this last one did it not go away when I freaked out a bit. I'm glad it didn't because once I got through what I'd call the "come up anxiety" it was amazing. It offers a unique and interesting experience that is worth at least trying if you ever get the chance and are in the right head space for it. It's also probably easier for most people to source compared to something like 5meo Dmt. Just make sure to test for impurities like with all substances. I think if you're a person who has trouble letting go or freaks out on psychedelics Ketamine might just be a good starting point and way to ease yourself into awakenings like I did. Don't write it off until you've tried it a few times and if you do I recommend getting an eye mask and listening to meditation music during the trip. Also have your feet touching the ground while you sit in a chair being grounded helps in my experience.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #67 - Sat July 19, 2025 7:24 PM Nothingness Lower self: We talked about nothingness a few chapters back. What is it and why does it have significance in Truth work? Higher Self: Nothingness is exactly that, it is an empty void that is made up of its own name, nothing. The tree next to me is nothingness, my car is nothingness, this water is nothingness, my body is nothingness. Lower self: I'm not following... Higher Self: Your identity is not Truth. Your mind is not Truth. The birds are not Truth. The sky is not Truth. You can make an infinite list of things that are not Truth. If everything is not Truth, what do you have left? You have nothing. Nothingness is the ultimate truth of the universe. Experience this. Truly experience this and you will transcend your physical body. The real kicker here though is that nothingness also equates to infinite creation. If there is nothing really there, then you have a blank slate in which you can create anything that you want. These creations remain in the relative realm while nothingness is forever present in the background as an Absolute Truth. Lower self: Okay, this all makes sense, but how do I experience this? I have no direct experience of this nothingness that you are describing. Higher Self: Sure you do... Just look around. "Close your mind, close your eyes, see with your heart" - Lupe Fiasco

Thank you for the honesty. That says a lot. Right, nothing anyone says means anything with respect 'to' Truth, but what eventually SEES is indicative of the depth of penetration, maybe even Nothingness awakes to what it meant by the simple word. Ever had a gun to your head, with the distinct possibility that one of your organs could soon be harvested if you went down the dark black alley with the perpetrators? It was a cool horror in which conscious existence came to an extreme focal point, depth remained calm, communicated in a second language in an attempt to reach a deeper layer, and found a way. Enjoy your courtroom analyses.

Nonduality is like Rupert Spira being aware of awareness, consciousness being aware of itself, look at me i‘m Rupert Spira i wear glasses 🤓 and have a British accent i‘m so woke. Here is what you can do to become more aware Radical Nonduality is like Tony Parsons and Andreas Müller, there is nobody, bo meaning, nothingness being everything. Look at me i‘m nothing 😎 there is nobody who can do anything. Alright thanks guys and glad we talked about it.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMIxtECMFtd/?igsh=MXg3MTZzZG16NnAxZQ== The more events I go to, the more I look at people the clearer it is that this world is not worthy of me. There really is no one of my calliber here. All these girls are climbing over me but I just can’t. You’re a stupid hoe, sorry, I just can’t. We’re in different dimensions. I don’t know if there even is a girl that could meet me at my level at this point, in terms of looks and wisdom. But when ur truly wise ur so happy in the now that you dont need anyone else. You just give that eww look and walkaway. In the end u give the eww look to the whole dream and dissolve it to nothingness from which it came. me af rn: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIh29YRthrr/?igsh=MTNjM3RnOGwwMTd2eA==

Warning! Requires being willing to let go of "Sanity" and potentially risk becoming what's regarded in mainstream society as "Crazy". It requires: bulletproof epistemology, high awareness of self-deception, high tolerance for confusion and becoming unhinged, scientific-grade levels of hypothesis and experiment testing within your direct experience, and the willingness to be okay with wherever this leads you or whatever happens. Also, Existential Confidence grounded in Actuality. Taking infinite Ownership and Ultimate Authority over your mind. And being comfortable with unfathomably uncomfortable levels of Not-Knowingness, while at the same time trusting your intuition to borderline dogmatic levels and a degree of open-mindedness so extreme that it goes full circle into closed-mindedness -- Where you just know because you just know. If reading this disclaimer turned your stomach, and even after taking a few minutes to sit with it, no matter how much you try, you cannot genuinely embrace and accept this idea and the possible weight of this burden and life implications, then this post will not be for you, or you're not ready for it at this chapter of your life and development. Skip to blue text below for the actual instructions ... Take a moment to get yourself in a relaxed headspace. ... Get in tune with your emotions. ... Hear your mind out. Give your body the comfort it asks for. ... Set your intention to BE here now. The present moment is all that exists. ... There is no past. ... There is no future. ... The present moment, your direct bubble of experience and YOUR PERCEPTION is the ONLY game in town. ... Shift your focus for a moment to the elephant in the room: Existence is MYSTERIOUS. ... ... Shallow contemplation, if at all -- jumping to conclusions, holding or not questioning assumptions, dismissing blindspots... are ALL the Ego's arrogance and defense mechanisms for it to feel safe, in control and to be functional for day-to-day survival. That cluster of memories, identity and sense of individual separation from the world and others. That's the ego. The "CEO of SURVIVAL". ... ... I would like to invite you to explore what perception is. ... Not what you "think" it is, or what you've heard it is or what you've been told. ... What is it? What does it really feel like? Where does it come from? ...Does perception come from "the outside"? Is there an "outside world" that is being "perceived"? Is the "outside world" separate from the "inside world"? How do "I" relate to the "inside and the outside world"? ... ... What am I? ... What if the most tangible thing you can cling on to in your direct experience as an existential identity of what or who you are, since Nothingness is so slippery, is Perception? The essence of what You ARE, is PURE RAW Perception. You are The Observer, but you are The Perceived, since the middle-man is the illusion of ego-consciousness. But the Observer is tricky to get a solid connection with -- from a standard baseline of consciousness. It's tricky to turn the Observation on itself. But you do have a pretty solid connection to Perception available. Is Perception the face of the Soul of Nothingness? And anything beyond that is what's called "the Ego"? What if there is no "External Perception" or "Internal Perception" like Mindfulness meditation with labeling categorizes? What if there is only Perception with capital P? Am I the "outside world" as much as I'm the "inside world"? Am I both the perceiver and what's being perceived? What if the substance of reality isn't atoms and molecules, but just Pure Perception? Maybe there is Nothing "besides the scenes"? ... How is it possible that you can taste, smell, feel, see and hear? If you think about it, it's an absolute miracle. The senses, and Perception are pure magic. Because Magic IS the behind the scenes mechanism of Reality. The mechanism is NO MECHANISM. Magic is manipulating reality without a mechanism. Magic is an unmediated force or action. Pure consciousness shaping reality without needing a bridge or tool. The most direct and effective method possible. The no-method Method. ... How is it possible for a sound to "happen" without you looking at it? ... And for you to "perceive it"? Don't look at science. I can give you the most profound accurate description of how sound is generated from the materialistic scientific paradigm you've ever heard. Here it is: ( Scroll to RED TEXT to skip science section ) In a nutshell, in very practical scientific terms, "Hearing" is perceiving the disruption of energy and matter in spacetime. ( more context at the end of this section ) Sound is generated by the vibration of particles, specifically molecules, which are clusters of atoms held together by chemical bonds (one of the many types of energy). When you talk about atoms, you’re mostly talking about empty space. Almost all of what we consider “solid” matter is mostly empty. But not "really empty". What we call empty space is more like a restless field of potential. At the quantum level, it’s never truly empty. Even in a perfect vacuum, particles and antiparticles flicker into existence and disappear again in a constant dance. This is called "the quantum vacuum", a kind of fabric where energy is always bubbling and shifting and popping, full of possibilities waiting to become real. When you snap your fingers, the kinetic energy from your flesh molecules crashes against each other. That impact transfers energy to the surrounding air molecules, which are made of clusters of atoms. The impact literally creates an "energy disturbance", causing "matter" , aka the air molecules to vibrate back and forth, passing energy from one to the next like a oscilating wave. A sound wave is just kinetic energy moving through a medium. So, when you hear your neighbours through a solid wall, it's because from his lungs, the gas molecules that air is composed of, vibrate his vocal cords as they pass through, propagate the vibration through the medium, which is gas molecules of air surrounding his mouth, and hit more compact and dense molecules which is your wall (and everywhere around), which still goes on to pass the vibration regardless, now weaker, again pushing the gas molecules that air is made of, finally hitting your ears. When that wave reaches your ears, it hits your eardrum, causing it to vibrate. The vibration travels through a series of tiny bones in your middle ear before reaching a fluid-filled structure lined with ESSENTIAL hair cells. These hair cells are incredibly sensitive, with hair-like structures that bend and wave as the fluid moves. When those hairs move, they convert motion into electrical signals. Ions flow into the cells, generating tiny bursts of electricity that travel along the auditory nerve to your brain. But it doesn't stop there. Your brain takes those electrical signals and breaks them down, analyzing them based on their strength, their frequency, their proximity, and far more than just that. Timbre, texture, rhythm, patterns, how long the sound lasts, how loud it is, how close it is, where it's coming from in space, how it interacts with your memories and emotions... your brain processes all of it. All of those signals and patterns are stored in your "memory". Your brain recognizes them, categorizes them, labels them with concepts and names. You hear a snap, or a clap, or a voice, or music. You identify and separate each one, even when they're layered over each other. Pretty cool and useful survival feature to give to your creatures huh? "Hearing " is the Perception of the disruption of energy and matter in spacetime. (END of scientific sidenote) So all this just reach the conclusion that there is no solid ground to ground sound in -- since " the first domino " is Energy, causing Energy and matter disruption in spacetime. And energy is just pure inmaterial potential. Energy is more fundamental than matter. Matter exist thanks to energy ( electromagnetic energy, chemical energy ... ) YOU LITERALLY perceive movement remotely. It's only a perception without anything to ground it in, nothing solid behind the scenes. Also known as a " hallucination ". The appareance of perception. You may say , hey! that's not right. If i snap my fingers the sound is originated by the snapping. It's not a hallucination. It's not just apperance. It's real! That's for external perception. But what about "internal perception"? What about thoughts? What are thoughts even? Internal Hearing + Internal Seeing + Internal Feeling. Where do they come from? Just in the same way we just explained that empty space doesn't exist, and even in a pure vacuum there are still spontaneous appearances of quarks and potential, Thoughts come from NOWHERE. From emptiness. What if actually, every human being already has some sort of "extra sensory perception"? But we just explain it away with science and ignorance? Maybe thoughts come from "within" the brain, but also from "outside" the brain? ( there is of course, a strangeloop relationship at the core of any existential question) Just like quarks appear from absolute nothingness in a pure vacuum, thoughts also arise from absolute nothingness. The reason for this may be our self-imposed limitation of our design to not be able to perceive dimensions beyond our 3D reality + the 4th of spacetime. Just like for a 2D creature that lives on a flat piece of paper, if we put our finger on his paper from the top, it would look like it appears from nowhere. In a sense, you perceive energy disturbances (which definition of sound explained above in scientific terms) in Nothingness in the "shape" of sound. One of the assumptions we carry is that Technology allows us to speak with other beings. Something like a phone call allows us through the miracle of materialistic science to hear each other remotely. But maybe that is just a permission slip. What if that's already some sort of extra sensory perception in a sense? What about the technology of reading and writing? We can communicate in systems of symbols and meanings and concepts remotely. We can share insights and ideas and emotions remotely. What if we put our materialistic assumptions on pause for a moment, and consider that this is a rudimentary type of extra sensory perception? What about dreaming at night? What if it's not just some brain activity but actually The Pure Raw perception that is THE ESSENCE OF WHAT YOU ARE tuning into a different kind of frequency / dimension / reality / dream that's temporally less coherent and less vivid? Another example of a permissions slip would be taking psychedelics to expand your state of consciousness, but once you're on the other end you understand that it's a ridiculous notion. It's a strange loop and a paradox, how it must be. You may argue, hey that's not extra sensory perception, that's just sensory perception from the material world. And you're right. But what if there is no difference between how ESP and SP work? How to: For a moment here, consider putting all preconceived notions of how existence works on pause. Whatever you've been believing for now, what science or what culture says goes temporarily to sleep. Don't worry, we can wake it up later. Adopt an attitude of humility, curiosity and exploration. Your intention, focus, and emotional mood are everything. Tune in to your thoughts. Notice they appear from nowhere. Sometimes they may be coherent. Sometimes less coherent. Sometimes not at all. Notice that holding on to "thoughts" and thinking "being your possession" or thoughts being "yours" is a projection of the ego. Thoughts appear, and on the one hand, you observe them, but on the other hand, you ARE THEM because they are now part of the bubble of experience, the field of perception in the present moment also known as Truth. You are the perception and you are the perceiver. Again, notice that the thoughts arise from nowhere in particular. They pop into existence. POP. Notice that if you achieve a calm mind, thoughts will still appear without you having any control over it. You only have partial control of the mind, just like you only have partial control of your body. (Lots of involuntary activity going on). Your experience is an experience of co-living with the mind and body as The Observer and The Observed. Notice that you can control your inner monologue, partially and maybe not with absolute accuracy, but you can. The voice in your mind's ear has a specific tone and timbre and color and quality, sort of resembling your physical voice. Notice you can talk with yourself internally. You can both create the sound and you can receive the sound. If you try, you can actually have a two-way conversation with yourself, creating an illusion of separation (An illusion is not something that is not true, but something which appears to be something that is not. And Truth and Illusion have a spectrum. There are bigger and lesser illusions.) Notice you can change the tone of voice you hear your voice in. You can imitate tones of voice in your mind's ear. This makes it easier for the illusion of separation to click. But you can just keep it the same if you want if you're capable of juggling the conversation like that. It looks like you can "hallucinate," which means to experience an apparent sensory perception of something that is not actually present, BUT actually it IS present which means it IS true because you WILL it into existence. Because Hallucination is one of the main mechanisms of reality's operation mode, just there are different levels and consistencies on the spectrum of hallucination. Notice you can "hallucinate" a conversation between two internal monologues. One in your normal voice and one in your "acted" voice. Notice you can "command" your inner hearing with "pure willpower". Again, you can will sounds into existence. Your intention is essential. You can interact with the field of Nothingness by asking questions, which tunes your focus into potential answers that come from the intelligent field of Nothingness. This is known as insight. It may not come immediately or not work at all, but setting the intention to receive answers may or may not eventually fulfill your ask. The ego wants to force it to happen, and it wants it to work 100% of the times, which is why it won't work, because the Ego mind must get out of the way, which means not forcing it and being okay if it doesn't immediately work, or at all. Insight is one kind of ESP, but you can also set your intention to welcome an interaction with a higher intelligence, or whatever qualities you attribute to the other entity you willingly hallucinate. You cannot force it to happen. And you won't be sure if it works. There naturally will be doubt. Is this just me? Or is this actually channeling? A good rule of thumb is that the closer you come to a chain event of Insights, the closer to a pure channel it is. You can attempt to jumpstart the conversation or transmission somewhat like how you choose to speak with someone specific by dialing a phone number of a person that you know is associated with this phone number. You tune into the frequency of his phone after having a thought of that person, and you stay tuned in on that particular frequency just like you were to do if you were speaking with him on a very crowded street, tuning out all other "noise". And over time you will develop a "muscle memory" on how to lock in to the particular frequency you're channeling. Just like if I show you 50 colors you can immediately focus on all the yellows. You will start to know how it feels and how it's supposed to feel. You can say in your mind's ear "hello?" And answer yourself in a different voice. You can try to act it out a little, play around with it. Really get into the roles. Take it seriously. What if all it takes to Channel is to truly actually undoubtedly belive 100% that you are doing it? And doubting it is ego mind that's getting in the way? Imagine that if you really tried with 100% of your intention, it would really have to work, because then, how would you know the difference between you imagining it and it actually being a different entity? And what if that fluctuation between truly believing it's working vs doubting and dismissing is the key to the portal to actually channel? And of course, you can't really tell the difference, because the other entity must be you yourself, because all is one. Hence of course in a sense it's your own voice in disguise, it can't be another way. Which is why this will make you feel crazy and like you've lost your sanity.

What i am trying to point out as saying giving meaning is as soon as one attached with the word. It can be any, God, nothing, existence, non existence, nothingness, human, life, etc...

Why nothing? That's a misleading idea, only reading that explanation makes me sick, like if I see someone lying to mislead the people just for evilness, like a demon. I'm not saying that you are, just my feeling reading that "absolute nothingness", it's dead.

Non-dualists act like discovering religious forms are constructed somehow invalidates them, as if pointing out that a cup is made by human hands means it can't hold water. That's what religions trying to do - hold space, contain that which can't be contained - God. Individuals can seek without containers, individually. Advanced seekers can transcend the need for particular containers - but it's not a scalable solution to community. We need something we can gather around. We can't build a community around the concept that concepts or constructs don't matter. The rituals of religion aren't the point - the ritual is the vehicle for the point. But obviously, people ordinarily get stuck on the mechanism rather than what the mechanism is trying to get them to. The issue isn't the container or construct (religion) - it's the consciousness that inhabits the container or construct. A Buddhist monastery can become a place of spiritual awakening or a den of ego's tripping over who mediated longer or sat more still when the bugs bugged them. A seeker can easily do without a container, but a civilization needs one. The point is, once you reach non-dualness, how to trasmit this with duality? You must use constructs even in informing people about that beyond construct and form itself. Even nothingness needs a container to be understood by something. Isn't consciousness exploring what it means to construct? Spiritualist non-dual bros are still living in the same constructed world as everyone else. They're still using their constructed language to have constructed conversations about their constructed spiritual insights.