Igor82

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About Igor82

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  • Birthday 07/09/2002

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  1. Creativity of the universe
    The Nature of Order: An Essay on the Art of Building and the Nature of the Universe
    This collection of work by Christopher Alexander is basically an application of the ultimate truth in making art. The principles in this work are describing the non-dual and self-similar nature of existence. Using these principles that existence/god/nature uses in creating things, the things you create will intensify the wholeness/love of existence. It is a very practical collection of work with a step-by-step process that anyone can use to create more love/self-similarity in existence. The work goes into architecture, art, science, and beyond into spirituality/consciousness. Christopher is far ahead of his time. I think this work will benefit anyone who is doing creative work/art. I highly recommend it. 
     
    There is also a documentary about Christopher and his philosophy here:
       
     



  2. Leo, are you sure you want TOTAL awakening? HARDCORE seeker here.
    Leo, are you sure you want TOTAL awakening? HARDCORE seeker here.
    I consider myself being twin of Leo... I have experienced all of the stuff he talks in his videos + have very similar personality.

    My background:

    30 y/old male, Europe

    Many years of HARDCORE spiritual path.

    - Clean eating, mostly RAW (no wheat, no dairy, a little meat)
    - Being aware ALL DAY LONG - 16 hours a day
    - Contemplation and Self Inquiry 3 hours a day
    - Meditating in PITCH BLACK room 3 hours a day before midnight (strong determination sitting)
    - Concentration exercises
    - ejaculating max once per 2 weeks
    - Psychedelics (often):

    15x 5-MeO-DMT HCL trips
    30x 5-Meo-DMT Freebase trips
    20x 4-Aco-DMT Fumarate trips
    35x DMT Freebase trips
    8x DPT trips
    60x Weed trips
    5x LSD trips
    10x 2c-b trips
    + some near death experiences

    And some others. Many of my trips happened in pitch black darkness. Always WITHOUT trip sitter.

    I have had many "TOTAL" awakenings + experienced many paranormal, mystical phenomena and Kundalini awakening. Third eye opening etc...

    I have experienced many logically impossible experiences. Sober or under psychedelics.

    I consider myself Awakened consciousness, yet there are infinite degrees of awakening more left. DO YOU GET IT? After MANY infinite trips you will get it.

    YES, there are degrees to awakening.

    I have experienced MANY lifetimes. In fact, I have experienced ALL possible lifetimes that have existed, exist now or will exist when having many of my mystical experiences.

    I have had trips, where I experienced ALL POSSIBLE LIFETIMES OF ALL POSSIBLE CREATURES in 6 hours. Entire lifetimes... YES! All possible creatures. 5-legged ones, or just beings made of energy only, or creature with not 5 or 6 senses but 300 senses etc... Sounds impossible? Well... If you do HARDCORE practices, you can experience many hardcore stuff.

    This story about Big Bang and Planet Earth IS JUST ONE OF INFINITE MORE STORIES in infinite more dimensions.

    I attained THOUSANDS of "spiritual" insights. Most of them are impossible to put into words and sentences.

    "You are God" is just one of INFINITE MORE SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS. I can't describe this statement more, because of the limit of language.

    There is INFINITE deepness. In other dimensions I took psychedelics 10000s times potent than DPT.

    There are infinite more colors than you can see now in this current dimension.

    Be very open-minded reading next lines please.

    After many years of being "spiritual"... After my last awakening, I realised that this whole spiritual path is just ONE story of infinite other meaningless stories.

    Chasing this whole "who am I?" thing is just of many possible stories and is AS MEANINGLESS AS ANY OTHER STORY.

    I awakened to total meaninglessness. TOTAL.

    THERE IS NO OTHER PLACE TO BE. I can't escape THIS being.
    There is only being.

    I experienced that no matter what I do, even if I kill myself, I will be reborn infinite times more.

    In fact I have literally physically experienced dying and killing myself in other dimensions just to realise that I can't escape this BEING thing.

    After you die, you can choose to "enjoy" formlessness for infinity. BUT that infinity is so infinite, that is finite. Basically, that INFINITY will feel like blink of the eye, and you will get "bored" and will reborn "instantly", after you get bored being formless. READ THAT AGAIN.

    In other words: HUMAN DIES, BABY IS BORN. INSTANTLY.

    You can't escape... There is only Existence.

    No form of suicide is enough. Thanks to this insight, this exact life that I live now, is exactly good as any other life. No life is better than other life.

    Thanks to many mystical experiences I realised that businessman has his sufferings and joys, is the same as homeless man has his pains and joys. No difference.

    And here comes my question.... Question that no one of you can answer... Because I have used infinite times more potent stuff than your tiny limited human mind, YET I am still searching for answer.

    WHAT TO DO NOW?

    The thing is, I feel like there is no higher "level" to reach.

    I have experienced mahasamadhi in other lifetimes, I have reached TOP OF THE TOP levels of Existence... I have experienced toppest of the tops, I always ended up in some limited dimension. And Now I want to suffer again.

    That is the reason I have chosen not to have mahasamadhi in this life (I had many opportunities to have mahasamadhi in this life)

    You were God infinite lifetimes before, and now you forgot you wanted to experience being limited again. You forgot you have put yourself here just to limit yourself again. JUST CAUSE. Because you can.

    I WANT TO BE HUMAN AGAIN AND TO HAVE ROLLERCOASTER LIFE OF EMOTIONS AND ILLUSIONS.

    I want to forget I am God... But I know too much. Too much....

    I am serious.

    After TOTAL ENLIGHTENMENT, after THE HIGHEST HIGH, there is only a way down.

    I just want to warn EVERYBODY:

    THERE ARE INSIGHTS that will destroy your life, your motivations, your everything.

    There are insights so shocking that will paralyze you.

    You will lose interest for friends, movies, music, just about everything. It feels like know everything, have been everything, been everywhere, have done everything...

    In every dimension I have lived, there is always this "OMG now I know too much, and there's no way back" level. After that insight, life in that dimension becomes very "meaningless"...

    In every dimension there are illusions similar to "Maya", just to protect you. To protect you from "knowing too much" so you can continue enjoying the show.

    It feels like the "secret" of Maya have its purpose here in this dimension.

    Knowing too much (being awakened) in whatever dimension leads to being unfulfilled. It's like cheating...

    Do you enjoy playing a game with "GODMODE: ON" cheat?

    If I could choose again, I would not choose to awaken.

    This world is made to be for unconscious beings.

    Now I have a 2 choices.

    Just watching everything, just observing this miraculous colorful explosion.

    or

    Put myself again into Matrix and forget who am I.

    And I think I want to forget. But how?

    How could I? How could I deceive myself again?

    Basically, I want to warn you...

    KNOWING "TOO MUCH" and being robbed of "mandatory" illusions will leave you unsatisfied...

    TOTAL ENLIGHTENMENT leads later to total unconsciousness. It's a strange loop.

    Even being infinite love will soon or later lead to infinite suffering. You are THE CHANGE. You want CHANGE. Don't ask me why...

    YES, I am saying very radical stuff. I have experienced many lives in other dimensions being only "LOVE". But after some time, even LOVE will seem boring.

    You will not enjoy your "total awakening" to the infinity... At one point, you basically get bored and want to enjoy being unconscious jerk again...

    Soon or later, you may be interested in being Zen Devil just for the sake of doing it.
    That's why you see many spiritual gurus having affairs and being zen devils.

    There is something deep you can get from this post, but I don't know how to communicate it better, because I am not native english speaker.

    Have a nice day.
     

  3. How to become a sex god (request)
    How to become a sex god (request)
    The thing that's most important in this matter with regard to women's experience of you as a lover is learning how to push the right emotional buttons. 
    Metaphorically, it's in the same way that someone would get good at playing an instrument, if the sound coming from the strings of that instrument were different colors and textures of emotions. So, imagine that your partner's emotional body is like a harp, and that in order to produce a pleasant sound, you have to know a few things about how to cause that reaction inside her emotional body. And this is 15% physical technique and 25% emotional technique and 60% full authentic expression of your natural personality as an individual man.
    And the last ingredient of this is most important because, when a woman wants you in a real way, she can't get your essence anywhere else. So, the essence of you is what she craves the most. And making love with you will be like heaven to her, as long as you have the physical and emotional techniques in your arsenal as well.
    But the thing that attracts a woman to sex is much less about the physical body, but more about the desire for specific types of emotional stimulation from a man that matches her and inspires her. And women intuitively know, when a man can or can't give that to her. She needs a guy with a particular energetic signature and personality to make the right music inside of her. And if you're not the right type of guy for a woman, you won't be able to play her emotional instrument at an excellent level. The sound will always be mediocre. So, it's impossible to be a sex God with most women, as it's just not in the cards. But you can be that way for the women that get struck by the Cupid's Arrow for you.
    So, if you find a woman who is intuitively drawn to you, you can be a sex God for her. And if you learn the technical aspects, you can also be a decent lay for most women who are looking to experiment. But you won't be blowing any minds of women if you're just on the sexual level with them. The real thrill is the emotional for women, and the physical is pretty "meh" without it. But if you have the emotional and physical together and a woman feels that she can explore you as an individual and what makes you tick and how you think, then you can transport her to another world. 
     
     

  4. Cutting edge of art
    Most emotionally moving media (i.e. music, scenes in films, etc) you've experienced?
    Please consider this idea; I will describe an amazing artful simulation:
    I'll explain some of the following terms further down in the post Headphones and VR required Visuals: Virtual reality + Stereogram effect + Eye pov effect Sensory: The audio is shaped in such a way that it spawns sensations in the body (just like Asmr) Audio: 3D binaural audio Music ties into all of this: It's expressing love while being the lead interconnector of the auditory, sensory, and visual experience. The music is shaping the visuals which in turn shapes where the music is coming from in the binaural audio landscape, and from that comes the sensations felt. All of this combined will greatly increase consciousness of the experiencer while deeply spawning the intense emotions represented.   How this works: Experiencing such a simulation would subjectively draw one away from “fantasizing a scenario while listening to music” to “actually being in the TRUTH of the experience rather than in fantasies.” VR acts like a big screen to achieve a total FOV Eye pov = the experiencer cannot move his eyes around! Because for it to be genuinely subjective the vision has to stay in the middle to replicate what you actually see with the eyes (have you noticed that your sight always is "in the middle"?). This effect requires that the listeners focus their eyes to neutralize a stereogram in front of them (2 layers merging into 1) and that makes their eyes stay relatively still and focused on one place, and then the animation will move around as if it looked like the FOV is subjectively moving around. It will be intuitive, so the viewer will react to it coming closer and thus changing the eyes.  The experiencer will sit as still as possible to avoid distraction. The sensory input will greatly raise consciousness if committed focus upon, just like how foreign sensory input makes you alert. 1. Imagine this music of this video: 
    2. In combination with the auditory space & physical sensations of this video: 
    3. In further combination with a stereogram experience like this video (that is in full FOV with the help of a VR headset to make the FOV all-encompassing rather than quite small): 
     
     
    In this simulation, the audio takes the lead over the visuals because it can spawn visuals in your imagination but not the other way around. So the visuals dances with the music - representing all of its depth and pointing the viewer towards love by deeply choreographically interconnecting with the music to further raise the consciousness and emotion the music initially represents. All of this within a binaural auditory field so that physical sensation will be spawned - thus even further interconnecting the sensory stimuli to deepen the emotions and consciousness, just like 10 to the power of 3, or like something being much larger than the sum of its parts. 
    This will require great music and great animation to actualize, beyond anything seen ever so far. The music & animation has to come from a place of very deep [insert emotion] and be masterfully expressed to capture that emotion and express it-very rare these days. But the song listed above (Coldplay-Paradise) is an example of that expanding feeling that will be animated and felt in actuality rather than imagination. Keep in mind that certain music can only match with certain visuals.
    Extra: This, being experienced in a sensory deprivation tank and/or on psychedelics This, even further combined to include the sense of taste. Interesting eh? ... The cutting edge of art

  5. The 5-MeO-DMT Mega-Thread
    The 5-MeO-DMT Mega-Thread
    So here are my results from testing & comparing 5-MeO-DMT HCl vs Oxalate vs freebase:
    I have tested them all using the plugging method.
    All 3 plug equally well and produce exactly the same quality of trip. The potency per scoop is roughly the same. Of course each substance has slightly different density, so the potency per scoop will vary between them. You can discover your perfect dose through some simple experimentation. Start with 1 microscoop, then dose 1.5 microscoops, then 2 microscoops, and so on until you find what suits you. For me the ideal dose is 1 to 2 microscoops. But that is just me.
    As far as dissolving, it works like this:
    HCl: easiest to dissolve. Dissolves in water within seconds. The substance will become perfectly dissolved. Freebase: pretty easy to dissolve by first adding 2 drops of ordinary cooking vinegar, stirring until fully dissolved, and only then adding your water. The substance will become perfectly dissolved. Oxalate: hardest to dissolve. Use hot water and stir it for several minutes. Eventually it will dissolve almost completely. So the bottom line is, no matter what form of 5-MeO-DMT you have, it will dissolve in water and work perfectly well for plugging. All of this has been tested and proven. If plugging isn't working for you, make sure you are plugging it properly. It's very important to only plug after emptying your bowels otherwise it may not work at all. If it still isn't working, then you have an immunity to this method/substance, the cause of which I do not know.
    My deepest trip ever actually came from plugging 1 microscope of freebase. It was unbelievably potent. I'm not sure if that was due to it being freebase or simply because I've already done so much 5-MeO-DMT in my life and other kinds of work. Each trip tends to build on the previous ones, taking it to the next level. There are at least dozens of levels, with each level being an order of magnitude above the previous one.
    5-MeO-DMT is not a substance you do once or twice. This is a substance you need to work 50+ times to get the full scope of it. Your first 10-20 trips are only the prequel to the main story.
    At least that's how it works for me. Your results may vary. Keep in mind that individual differences are real and can be significant. This work requires a lot of experimentation and exploration.
    Only take 5-MeO-DMT on a totally empty stomach. At least 3 hours of no food. Otherwise you will REALLY regret it.

  6. How can I read faster than I do now?
    How can I read faster than I do now?
    @CreamCat At best buy a speed reading book or the booklist.

    There is so much advice on YouTube. I will sound like a hypocrite.

    For instance, stop subliminally speaking yourself words internally and start thinking in images, pictures and more visually. Hence, you can process more information, since you are not hindering yourself by speaking the words out loud in your mind. 
     


     

  7. How to realize god on weed?
    How to realize god on weed?
    First of all, don't use weed; use cannabis. 
    http://www.cannabisandspirituality.com/quick-guide-to-cannabis-as-a-spiritual-ally/ 

  8. I just don't know what I am.
    I just don't know what I am.
    @Truth Addict Emotions will arise. Allow them and just watch them like clouds in the sky. Sometime they will take hold of you. Strong emotions will hypnotize you into a trace of believing in them. Just do your best to notice that and take a step back and witness it. That is all.
    Your job in this work is to make EVERY form/perception an object of your witnessing. It cannot become an object to witness if you are identified with it. To witness it, you must first disidentify with it. So for example, you are not the sensation in your chest, you are that which is witnessing that sensation. You are not the thought of yourself, you are that which is witnessing that thought. You are not the hunger in your belly, you are that which is witnessing that feeling. Etc.
    Just keep practicing that as much as you can throughout the day. The more the better. You will become more and more detached from everything, which is the goal. Eventually you should have an awakening to Absolute Emptiness that is your true identity. It will come suddenly and out of the blue. Often it's jolting.
    Yes, keep entering that state of not-knowing what anything is. That's very good. That is the best state to be in for an awakening to happen.

  9. Night out report
    Night out report
    @Dorotheus Great work!
    Now just do that a couple hundred more times.
    Don't worry, you will be amazed at how fast your skills improve.
    Do not be detered by rejection or awkard moments. Those are all totally normal and they don't matter. Get very used to girls rejecting you or ignoring you.
    Work on your body language, strong eye contact, commanding vocal tone, flirty smile, and plowing conservations without ejecting from set.
    Your conversations should be slightly sexually charged. Don't be talking to her like a gay friend. She needs to register within 5 minutes that if she gets in a room alone with you, you're gonna bang her. But do not verbalize sex. This is something she must pick up from your flirty manner and the way you look at her.
    Practice looking at her like you are a lion looking at a juicy gazelle. Get that chemistry going immediately upon approach. Don't be talking to her about work.
    Your goal should be to reach the hook-point in the set, where it is clear that she's attracted to you. It usually takes 0-5 minutes to hit the attraction hook-point. Attraction happens surprisingly fast.

  10. You cannot reach Heaven without touching the Earth first
    You cannot reach Heaven without touching the Earth first
    @Guided Good work, but don't be drinking when doing pickup. Do it sober.
    I did over 3000 approaches and never bought 1 alcoholic drink in my entire life.
    Try to stay away from canned openers. Just push yourself to approach and improvise gibber-jabber. Try to plow through and maintain the girl's attention for as long as possible. Do not eject. You keep talking to her until she tells you to fuck off or leaves. Plowing is key. That will build your conversation skills. You will suck a first, but you will also quickly improve if you make the commit to never eject from a set.
    Try to open to some sets and make them last for 30-60 minutes.
    Don't make your conversations logical. They can literally be any random useless nonsensical stuff, like how much you hate Trump or how much you love pizza. Talk, talk, talk your mouth off. Allow yourself to let loose and be emotional and opinionated. You can also make up fantastical shit like: "I'm going to buy everyone in this bar a kangaroo. Help me pick out a name for my kangaroo."
    Here's the key to night-game conversation: The words coming out of your mouth do not have to make any sense.

  11. How to trully live forever; part l ( slow down; you are eternal already )
    How to trully live forever; part l ( slow down; you are eternal already )
    This is yet another "how to guide". It is an example of how to live with and consciously create the illusion; instead of being trapped in it.
    This content is based on my direct experience and observations, strictly. All information that is being shared is free to be interpreted and/or used in any chosen way. 
    I write primarily for myself. For the purpose of my own evolution/expansion. Wether you resonate or not with my perspectives and opinions does not necessarily matter to me, at all.
     
    Although it is cool to see when others relate.
     
    I aim to document my proces of transcending limitations; as well as share my observations/views during this process. Simply for the purpose of sharing, connection, fun, transparency, learning, expansion, fun.
    More precisely; this thread will be focused on transcending the idea of mortality/death. Becoming a living, breathing, infinite being; while still walking on Earth.
    Some of my views may seem outrageous.
    ...for a reason.
     
    Slow down. You are eternal already.
     
    Breathe deeper, deep breather.
    No need to rush. You are way too concerned with your next step. And the next one; and the next one; and the next one. Take your time. Be your every move. That is how the experience of true acceleration and speed occures, actually.
    Thinking about your next step locks you in a loop. Breaking through is what enables you to see it; to stop running in circles. To breathe. To merge with here and now. To recognize your infinitude.
    The unpredicted, abstract move breaks the pattern of cmd/ctrl. Patterns are not meant to be abstract. They are strickt. Defined.
    And so is the loop you find yourself in. It is predictable. Repeatitive. It's rather funny how one can get trapped in one of those for decades. Even lifetimes.
    Well... Not this time.
    I aim to break the pattern. I do not fear playing with it. Manipulating it. Making it fit better and be more aligned with my true nature.
    All this may be just a game... but the rules are bendable. All rules are bendable.
    All patterns fail to face and follow the abstract movement.
    Passion in action.
    It is limitless and unbound. Creative and eternal. It does not have a need to identify with anything. It just flows through abstract perfection. Passion is not a pattern.
    The pattern can mimic or imitate. But it can never trully be alive; spontaneous, joyful and playful in it's expression.
    The pattern is limited and finate. It is precisely defined. While abstract infinity is not defined at all.
     
    Do not call yourself a master; unless you mastered being human as well.
     
    Yes. You may have seen The Absolute. Yes. You may have found the answear to all qiestions. But... how heavenly is your environment at this moment, really? Is there no more room for improvment? Is there no more desire for growth? Have you become a superhuman over night, just by gazing at the absolute truth? Just by being nothing? Is the world around you enlightened as well? Do you trully know your infinitude? 
    If you do; you may also know it's incredibly stupid to throw your human form away, as soon as you realize your true nature. - Not until you extract the most out of it. - Grow and expand as much as humanly possible. - Love as deeply as no human ever before you. - Go as far as no human ever dared to go. 
     
    Fear is to be transformed. Not avoided or denied.
     
    You are not trully and entirely awake if the world around you still sleeps. Use as many excuses as you wish.
    You are the world. Everything changes with you. Make the change obvious for yourself and all.
     
    The human concept is adjustable. Flexible. One is able to redesign it. It has enormous potentials. 
     
    Know you are not human all you want; but you'll probably be stuck with that form for a while. Desolving the dream in it's entirety is no easy task. I've done it once or twice while I was lucid dreaming. Theoretically, it is the same approach with the waking life.
    But that does not interest me, at all, right now.
    Why would you say goodbye to your human form so soon? Is it really that uncomfortable? Is it that limiting and contractive? Or are you just afraid of trully expanding; while still in your human form? 
    Waking up entirely from one dream only teleports you to another one. And you may not have the luck to be awake or enlightened there. It may take you decades, even lifetimes to wake up once again. 
    So really, why? Why do you wanna escape this dream so much? What's so wrong with being human? 
    I am awake within the dream. Within myself. But the dream is ever-expansive. Evolving forever. It can always get more enlightened. Every corner of it. The expression is unfolding forever. There is no lack of possibilities.
    I intend to dream awake for all eternity. Now; that I have finally awaken after an eternity of sleep. I am full of life. I am ready to live fully, in this dream I create.
    I would not know infinity if it was not for this form and this dream. I would not wake up to myself. This is why the dream exists in the first place.
    There is nothing wrong with forms and shapes. Nothing wrong with existence. Nothing wrong with individualized perspectives and characters.
    All eyes are staring at the same thing; Infinity.
    We all interpret the same one thing in infinite ways. That is existance. That is the snake eating itself for all eternity. That's miracle.
     
    Reconstructing your belief system/the core mechanism that is responsible for your actions/choices: 
     
    There is this thing that is commonly called as "the mind". It has no real location. And it is definitely not in your skull. 
    It is everywhere around your physical body. It is your physical body. It is the street, the trees, the temperature in the air, the velocity of all sound around you, the brightness of the Sun.
    It is based on patterns. Which may have been obvious to you already. The mind operates through patterns. Nothing happens outside of your mind. 
    You may have heard that you use only 10% of your brain-power... but in reality; you use 100% of your brain-power to make it seem as if you are only using 10%. I believe Bashar stated this once; and it's rather obvious and very accurate.
    The subconscious mind is where the work is taking place. Your task is to first observe, then analyse patterns/beliefs in your mind. Your mind is naturally very good at this. It is designed for analysis. The patterns are there to be replaced, rearranged, adjusted or deleted. You are not chained to them. And you definitely are not them.
    Nobody is demanding from you to identify with anything. Be free; undefined.
     
    All limitation is created by Y O U. 
     
    If it wasn't for limitations you would not be able to take on this form; or any, for that matter. You would not be able to have a human experience, nor see through your point of view - your eyes.
    Limitations = Patterns
    Fear lets you know if you get too close to the boundary. It let's you know; you are approaching unknown teritory. This is your built-in survival mechanism; nothing wrong with it. It has it's purpose. 
    However; it is on you to be aware of all limitations you incounter. If you know the limitation is created by you, for you, and is probably there to be transcended; then you also know; there is nothing to fear, really. Fear is a guiding mechanism. It signals. You should not be afraid of fear. Once the message is recognized; fear serves it's purpose and is no longer present in your experience. You transcend the limitation. You step into the unknown and shine your light bravely. You grow. You expand.
    That's the process of evolution, really.
    Right now, the limitation which you are creating for yourself on a subconscious level is probably that you are human; a mortal, biological organism, a piece of meat walking on some planet called Earth.
    That is your subconscious core belief. That is the limitation that gives form to you and the world around you. That is the mechanism beneath your actions, experiences. It gives birth to your point of view. Right after this belief comes your name, gender, age and so on.
    These beliefs - as every other belief - can be changed. They are not set in stone.
    It comes down to what is relevant for you, I guess. What is your deepest intention within this dream. If it is to simply wake up from it entirely - fine. That's your will.
    Mine is to explore, expand and express forever. Until I consciously decide to fall asleep again. And that won't be any time soon.
     
    Here is how I aim to redesign my operating system - the mind:
     
    - I cannot be defined
    - I am an illusion. A paradox. A dream. 
    - I am both nothing and everything
    - I am having a temporary experience of being a "human" by choice. I have a point of view
    - I have 5 senses and a sixth one, which is aware of them all
    - I have free will 
    - Everything I experience is both 100% illusory and 100% real. I have the freedom to choose perspectives that fit 
    - The dream is not physical; only feels that way. The sensation of a physical world is a part of the belief as well
    - I am able to switch between both subjective and objective perspectives. 
    - I subconsciously create limitations which are based on patterns/beliefs/thoughts.
    - I have the freedom to replace/rearrange any of these beliefs at any given moment
    - The overall structure of my belief system directly influences/creates my direct experience of the present moment
    - I have the freedom to choose the thoughts that are aligned and/or even stop thinking entirely
    - TIme is an idea; an element. It is a belief. I have the freedom to explore how bendable it is; with respect. There is only the infinite continuum; now.
    - Same goes for relativity; respected, bendable
    - Same goes for gravity
    - Other humans are from the absolute point of view me and illusory. However they are unique in their expression and have an important role as well as their own unique story and point of view; which is relative
    - The same stands for me, from their point of view
    - Interaction between two or more individuals creates a third/common reality; in which all individuals share an experience which is both common and unique to all simultaniously
    - Honesty and transparency are key for all successful comunication. Makes it effortless
    - Memories exist within the conceptual archive. They are free for access. The quality of the experience, while "remembering" a memory can be increased and sharpened. It is yet another aspect to be explored further. Memories change as well. They are not set in stone.
    - The past and the future are both conceptual and real
    - The body is made out of the dream substance. Consciousness. As everything else is. It is not biological and does not have to decompose and die
    - The mind is everywhere; the mind is everything, the mind is flexible and powerful
    - The abstract is that which sees the patterns. Nothingness/pure awareness also does
    - The heart is the home
    - The breath comes prior to all appearance
    - Passion is timeless and breaks all patterns
    - So does excitement and fun
    - The body needs care; the body needs attention and love
    - I eat as often or rarely; as much or as little as my intuition dictates.
    - I avoid all beliefs and concepts that are glued onto the food I eat. I trust my intuition. I seek food prepared with love. I am conscious of the fact that I am eating myself
    - Same goes for sleeping; no pattern, no rules. I sleep as much or as little as the body requires and when it requires. Dream states are to be explored more when relevant
    - Financial freedom/money is necessery for the purpose of the overall expansion while in this human form. It is also key for realizing grand visions and making big changes. It makes things run smoothly.
    - Wealth does not equal evil. Nor does the desire for it. It is eveyone's birthright. Money is a tool, not a goal.
    - Success does not equal evil. Nor does the satisfaction gained from it
    - There is no such thing as "lack"
    - There are no destinations. - Rather; temporary stations. There is constant movement, rearrangement and eternal expansion.
    - Limitations are there to be transcended, gradualy.
    - I will live in this human form for as long as I choose to do so
    - I know the way to eternal nothingness; I know how to self-destruct; peacefully in stillness
    - I can choose to deconstruct the dream at any time and wake up/go to sleep for another eternity
    - I am here to both explore and express my infinitude 
    - I consciously choose to represent: passion, creativity, expansion, expression, uniqueness, diversity, pride, humbleness, intelligence, love, joy, fun, bliss, divinity, wisdom, willpower, abundance, absolute freedom, unity, infinity
    Naturally and genuinely so.
    - I am transparent and open about my beliefs. I am not ashamed of my nature
    - I am - that I am. Here and now for all eternity
     
    Of course the branch goes on but essentially; this is it. This is the web of patterns; the core system belief, based on which I aim to operate and experience myself, here in this realm.
    There is much room for improvement and expansion. Much to overcome and transcend. And that's exactly what makes everything so exciting! That's exactly why this dream is worth dreaming and living. 
    I have no need to escape.
     
    Limitations are key and they are not outside of your creation. Rather; a part of it.
    I guess one could say; you're playing hide and seek with yourself. And it's the best game ever.
     
    There will be a second part to this documentation of mine. Maybe even more.
    For now all seems to be clear. Working it's magic; coresponding. Upgrades occur extremely fast. It's tremendously awesome and fun!
     
    There is a difference between waking up to the dream and waking up from it.
     
    Hope some of you find some useful info/hints/suggestions in here. 
    It would be no fun to be eternal all by myself 
     
    Please feel free to ask me anything about my belief system and/or views and opinions on reality and the experience of it. I am always eager to interact as well as I am open for exchanging information and opinions.
    Bless you,
    Much love.
     

  12. Returning to life; as a nondual being
    Returning to life; as a nondual being
    Content, content, content. I am full of it 
    This one is about returning to the game of life with force and love; after realizing your true nature. - After you died and woke up to nothing. - After you left your human form and life altogether. - After the clock stopped ticking.
    This is a guide on how to return to life after knowing there is no life and still enjoy the crap out of it. It is also a raw display of my reality; which does not really exist.
    If you broke through meaning and purpose, and do not know how to continue or do you continue at all; you might find something for yourself here.
     
    Nonduality always was. You were in the way.
     
    Yes, you are right. Nothing ever changes. Everything stays the same. No matter how deep the insights you have. No matter how high the perspectives you choose. You will wake up and see absolutely nothing; with your eyes wide open. 
    Nothing won't end. Eveything will be.
    You will still be. You cannot help yourself but be. No matter how hard you try; you cannot escape here and now. You cannot possibly be anywhere else. Even if you are deluding yourself; you are doing it right now, always. In the present moment. In the eternal continuum. You cannot be anything else but everything. It's just a matter of how aware you are of yourself. Of nothing.
    I use the word "you" not caring about how it is percieved. Tying an idea of an ego to it is done way too often, way too commonly. It's rather childish.
    You are You on all levels. Be it egoic ( imaginary ) or real  ... ( still imaginary ) 
    There is absolutely no difference in what words you use to describe your infinitude. You cannot be defined. Especially not with words. You are all there is and ever will be; put it as you wish.
    The level of "egotism" some one percieves in these kinds of statements is based strictly on their level of evolution and understanding. It depends merely on how awake and conscious they are. Do they see through the illusion of an idea called "ego". Or do they demonize and chase this imaginary idea for all eternity.
    Why pay so much attention to something that is "in your way" and never really existed in the first place ? 
     
    Stop enjoying the role of a victim.
     
    You know exactly what I'm talking about. Deny all you want; you are only fooling yourself. There is no one else here who could be fooled. You love pitying yourself and you love avoiding responsibility for your experience. And you hate admitting to yourself; you've been only causing pain to yourself all along. You were the one hurting yourself continuously, deliberately; not realizing what you are doing nor what you really are (about) .
    All the pain and suffering is your creation. Part of your imagination; the dream. The whole world's pain is yours only. You are the only one who has been suffering this whole time; no one else. And you suffered because you were afraid of trully taking a look at the mirror; at yourself. You were so afraid of realizing you are nothing; an illusion, a miracle, mist, a paradox. You were afraid of yourself do death. - That's the root of all pain.
    But it was still all created by you; for you; of you.
    There is no other possible way in which things could appear or happen. No step was ever mislaid. You did precisely what you were meant to do; wake the fuck up, for once already.
    You have been asleep since forever. You were like a monkey; staring at his own reflection in the mirror, not realizing he is only seeing himself. So he jumps all confused around the mirror and throws banana peels at it. Yup. Sounds like a pretty accurate analogy.
     
    So what does the monkey do once he realizes; he only sees himself in the mirror? 
     
    At first it would be probably shoking, outrageous, seemingly impossible and utterly incredible to him. His mind would be completely blown away by the mirror, probably.
    But guess what?
    Sooner or later, he would grab another banana and keep on being, living. He may even try to interact with the mirror. He may put the mirror to a simular use as we humans do. He may also give it a completely new meaning, or no meaning at all.
    Nevertheless, the monkey would now know for sure; he only sees his own reflection.
    You see where I am going with this, yes? I seem to be naturally good at expressing things in a simple, casual way. Other monkies seem to over-complicate this one simple function of the mirror; to reflect back. To mirror.
    Some monkies stare at their own reflection for decades, lifetimes; even.
    They move their hand; the reflection moves it's hand.
    They nod; the reflection nods.
    And they somehow start questioning their own free will in this process 
    Of course; I am trying to be humorous here. By no means I want to declare myself superior or anything. I am very much just a monkey, as well. Among all other monkies. I just seem to be ok with the mirror and my reflection in it.
     
    You have free will; for God's sake! Use it, now!
     
    Again; I'll put this as simple as possible. As precisely as language allows me to;
    There is nothing outside of you. There is nobody here who could control you or anything else. You are both the creator and the experiencer of everything. And you are also an illusion and do not really exist.
    But you also do.
    And while or when you do; you have the absolute freedom to do whatever the hell you want, damn it!
    Who says?  Y O U says!
    Just drop the bullshit and give yourself the permition to be trully and absolutely free, for once already. You deserve it. You created heaven for you to experience it. Hell is also your creation. And so is the idea of any difference between the two.
    There are no differences. No questions. Only pure love, passion, excitement and eagerness to play; to be alive in your kingdom. To know yourself while you are yourself. To honor the gift of that possibility. It is a pure miracle. I cannot stress this enough.
     
    No, there is no difference between my body and the tree I'm staring at. L i t e r a l l y.
    No, there is no difference between real and unreal.
    No, there is no difference between existence and non-existence.
    No, there is no difference between nothing and everything.
     
    And there also definitely is. What isn't also is.
    But I do not care about that. The realization of these things do not change anything, really. Nonduality is all that could possibly ever be.
    It's just that now, I am somehow able to see it. Be it and be aware of it simultaniously.
     
    So what is there to do, you might ask?
     
    Nothing. And everything. Absolutely nothing. And totally everything. If that's not freedom, then I don't know what the heck is.
    You can dive in deep. You can fly up high. You can move, you can laugh, you can cry. You can be still. You can breathe.
    You can love. 
    You can create. You can express. You can feel. You can see the perfection in every inch of your creation. You can listen to yourself while others seem to speak. You can speak your truth through other people's mouths. You can make etarnal love to yourself; and never get bored with it. You can be spontaneous and live a super-accelerated life. You can be eternal while still human. You can keep surprising yourself for all eternity. You can go to sleep whenever you want.
    There are things that cannot possibly loose on their magic-factor. They are simply unspeakable. Even a great artist would fail at painting it onto a canvas.
     
    These are but a few things you can do, once you wake up to yourself. But the question is not "can you"? Rather; "will you"? 
    What more could there possibly be than nothing and everything combined together? How much freer could you possibly get? 
    No fear of life; no fear of death. No fear at all.
    That is true liberation. The end of the victimhood. The dawn of the creator.
    Will cannot possibly be given to you for free; while you are still playing victim. 
    Will must be taken. Claimed back. Chosen.
    Sync in with your moves. Adore them, be amazed by each and every one of them. The dance is eternal. There is no one here who could get tired of it.
     
    I am awake now for all eternity. 
    I am transparent; ever changing. Yet I am also unchangable; whole. I am 1% Ivan and 99% all there is and isn't - to put it that way. There is little to no sense of separation at all. And that 1% is there by a conscious choice. Deliberately, on purpose.
    I choose to live freely, unburdened of all the heavy weight of rules, conditions and limitations. I choose to experience myself as an individual, as well. I like this point of view I have of myself from over here. I have no need to escape anything. Be it illusory or real.
    I simply do not care for what's right and what's wrong. I can possibly do no harm to anybody. Why would I harm myself?
    I may as well be seen as The Devil. Zero fucks are given. The moment I'd decide to buy into any of that crap, is the moment I'd throw my freedom away. Throw my will away; which is free. And also priceless.
    I would let the mirror fool me and delude myself into believing something other then what is right in front of my face; doing nothing; reflecting.
     
    There is that one thing you're all about. Go do that and forget about slavery forever.
     
    You may have programmed yourself unconsciously to be a perfect, obeying slave. You naild that; just as you nailed everything else.
    You cannot help yourself but be perfect. You cannot possibly not be whole.
    However; now that you know this, you can choose to keep doing what you have been already doing; with will, burning passion, unstoppable force and unconditional love. - For yourself and all. For both God's and The Devil's sake. 
    Yes. It will all be precisely for nothing and will never ever change anything, actually.
    But you will get to have an experience of how it is to walk on Earth as an infinite being. As all there is. As life itself.
     
    ...and that's the most kickass dream one could possibly ever have 

  13. Manipulation2
    I'm confused
    @Charlotte Fuck indeed. And don't forget the most important thing you know and love: yourself!
    Nothing you know about yourself is real. It's all a costume. Even the idea that you were born, is a story. You were never physically born. You arose as the story of you. One day the thought appeared: "I was born" and because this thought was never questioned, it became the basis of your entire reality. Then to that core fiction you slowly added all the rest of that you think of as yourself and your persona. In childhood, in school you built up the story of yourself and the world.
    Yes, fear, vulnerability, hurt, sadness... all of those are tools of the ego-mind to prevent self-reflection. It's okay to feel whatever feelings arise. But do notice, they are yet more manipulations. Manipulations on top of manipulations.
    Consider, if all your manipulations stopped, you would cease to exist. Which would be enlightenment.
    All this is a lot to stomach. Stay with it. It will be worth it in the end.

  14. Questions to contemplate
    I'm confused
    To be clear, this is nothing against you, or particular to you. This is the entire dynamic of life: using stories, concepts, and emotions to manipulate yourself into staying alive. This is what survival is all about. So whether you have dreams or don't, you're doing it. Whether your thoughts and emotions are positive or negative, you're doing it. Even when you feel happy or excited, it's a subtle egoic manipulation. The ego has co-opted the entire experience of life and turned it into a means towards self-perpetuation.
    Unraveling the inner workings of the ego-mind is a complex and tricky affair. A good place to start is to notice how every thought, every emotion, and every reaction you have, all day long, is somehow a subtle manipulation of yourself to act the way the devilish ego-mind wants. It takes a lot of patient observation of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions to start to see the full scope of what ego is doing. So start observing.
    You can contemplate questions like:
    Why do I have emotions at all? What is the point of them? Why do I have thoughts at all? What is their purpose? Why do I hold somethings as positive and others as negative? What is the point of positive and negative? Why am I motivated to do the things I do? What is the point of motivation and why does it exist? Why do I hold some things as meaningful while others not? What is the point of meaning? Why do I create it? Of course the ego-mind will vehemently resist and deflect all such questioning. Your survival agenda does not want to be questioned.
    Start looking at EVERYTHING that transpires in your experience of life as a deliberate egoic self-manipulation. Everything in your experience at all times is the ego trying to survive. This survival is not merely about physical life and death, it's extremely sophisticated. What's being survived in not a physical being, but a conceptual construct: the story of YOU.
    You -- the ego -- is like a giant living story which is writing itself every minute of its life. Any interference with this writing is perceived as threatening and therefore demonized and rejected.

  15. Great 5Meo report
    5-MeO-DMT trip report: « To the core of Being »
    • Substance: 5-MeO-DMT (HCl)
    • ROA: Intranasal
    • Dose: 40 mg
    • Total duration: 45 min.
    ---
    In what follows, I will try my best to convey the utter insanity that was that trip. Writing about 5-MeO-DMT is difficult because words simply fall short to honor this substance enough. It proved itself to be far beyond anything I could have imagined, and then some. Since many of you don't have access to this admittedly rare psychedelic, I will detail everything as much as I can, step by step. What are the different effects? Can it really induce an Awakening? What did I take away from the experience? I will cover these questions in length, so stick with me if you're interested in the matter or hesitant to give it a whirl yourself. Still, please keep in mind that this TR is unfortunately not half as accurate as I would like it to be. Using text to describe this is like attempting to explain the uniqueness of Salvador Dalí's paintings to a person blind from birth. I think it's a matter of fact that there are no words. But I still want to try!
    Set & setting, onset
    Aside from this trip, I had two other experiences with 5-MeO that left me unsatisfied: one of 16 mg, and another of 23 mg. Although quite powerful in their own right, those trips didn't lead me to spiritual discoveries because they were not strong enough for my ego to break, thus mainly being moments of useless physical and mental discomfort. My intuition told me there was much more to it and I was eager to feel it all for myself, so I decided to have a massive dose this time around: 40 mg. It was all that was left, and I didn't feel like wasting 10 mg by going with a more conventional 30 mg dose. As you'll figure out shortly, it was not exactly a good idea. Now that the dust has settled, I don't regret going that far. But please be extremely cautious and confident if you want to go beyond 30 mg yourself, as it seems already more than enough for most people. Those quantities are no joke at all. If you're new to it, start with 10-15 mg and increase gradually. Otherwise it will catch you by surprise and destroy you, as it did with me.
    Like the majority of my psychoactive experiences, this one took place at home while I was alone. It would have been safer to have a sitter, especially given the dose, but it's only unaccompanied that I can take the most out of a substance. After weighing out my remaining powder with a milligram scale, I split it in two lines and disposed them on a glass plate in front of me. Up until that point, I was enthusiastic and in a good mood; seeing the two impressive beasts waiting for me calmed me down quite fast. It was a behemoth dose of a behemoth psychedelic, there was nothing trivial in what I was about to do. I became filled with apprehension, almost terrified by the small amount of powder, and stared at it for maybe an hour before finally finding the courage.
    'Now or never', I said to myself as I insufflated the 5-MeO with a straw in both of my nostrils. It had a pleasant flowery, candy-like aroma to it, albeit quickly followed by a much less welcomed burning sensation. Twenty seconds in and I was already shaking of both excitement and fear. I tried to relax and layed on the couch. To maximize the absorption of the chemical by my nose, I tilted my head upside down and proceeded to massage my nostrils in a circular pattern, although I'm not entirely sure it helped much. A few minutes went by like that. My heart was pounding like crazy. And eventually, after 5 minutes or so, it began.
    Phase 1: The dismantling
    I started to feel a pressure in my head. A fastly growing dizziness followed shortly after, eventually spreading malaise to the rest of my body. No longer at ease on the couch, I layed down on the floor and focused on keeping my inner balance for as long as I could. It was already hitting strong, but I was in known territory. Yet my heart was beating so much that I could hear the pulse in my neck like a drum. As the vertigo became barely manageable, new bizarre sensations manifested all over me and specifically in the chest and the abdomen; it felt like my internal organs were disappearing. At the same time, my hands and arms became oversensitive. It was getting odd. I started to hyperventilate because I was under the impression that my breathing was inadequate. Before I had a chance to accustom myself to anything, my skull was compressed, my head was buzzing, and my whole body vibrating. All of this was incredibly fast, and more importantly, ever-growing. It didn't take me much longer to realize that this time, I wouldn't be able to handle it.
    But that was only the beginning. Only a couple of minutes... with an eternity ahead. I was getting very hot, but reaching for the window was impossible. My head and body were too heavy to move. I was literally smacked to the floor. Of course the intensity of these physical effects only continued to increase and increase. At this point it was already the strongest thing I've ever felt in my life, and I knew very well that I was still only at the bottom of the curve. The various sensations eventually culminated into one unified, all-encompassing feeling. It was an explosive energy of unfathomable power. There was nearly nothing else in my field of awareness than this. Hundreds of thoughts raced in my head simultaneously. The burning in the nose was the least of my concerns now. It was my very life that was at stake.
    Oh, the terror. The sheer, gut-wrenching, mind-crushing terror. If you ever had a panic attack, multiply this feeling by a million and you will begin to have a pretty good idea of the emotionnal abyss I was falling into. Falling into myself and just dissolving, this is exactly how it felt. A few words on the visual component, although it was clearly the most underwhelming aspect of the experience so far: everything around me was morphing, breathing, and drifting very concretely. A bright yellowish tint overlapped my visual field. I didn't care much. Hard to marvel at geometric distortions when your consciousness is freaking evaporating. My imminent death became a certainty to me. I managed to get on my feet and just proceeded to scream my lungs out. 'No! No! NOOO!!' I'd never suspected I could shout so hard. Let me tell you that I meant these noes more than anything I've ever meant in my whole life before. I was desperate. But also very angry at myself for making such a foolish mistake.
    The intensity continued to increase and expand. Every nerve, every fiber, every last corner of my body and mind was completely and totally overstimulated. It felt like a supernova was exploding in each and every cell of my brain. I was still screaming and running all over my apartment—perhaps not having a sitter was for the best after all. It was in me. No escape, nothing to hold on to, not the slightest relief in anything. Still to this day, I don't understand how it's humanly possible to experience such an overwhelming, tremendous power. Waves of pure destructive energy flowed through my whole being. Everything exterior and interior to me was collapsing on itself. I didn't even care about survival anymore. My life didn't matter, all I wanted was to get out. I would have used a gun without a single second of hesitation if I had one, just to make it stop. Undoubtedly the worst and hardest time of my life.
    I really wanted to stress out this somatic aspect of the experience because it's a reality that everyone has to face to a relative degree when using psychedelics. It can get extremely taxing on your body (and consequently on your mental well-being), so you have to be prepared for this kind of things. 5-MeO is not an 'easy shortcut' to infinite consciousness as some might think. 5-MeO is suicide. It's still a small price to pay, though, for the reward is... Well, you already know.
    Phase 2: The Ultimate Dive
    The obliteration continued to burst. About 10 minutes into the experience, I just gave up. As I was running to the kitchen in my attempt to somehow dissipate this infinite overflowing energy, yelling like a madman, I blacked out. The last bit of me was annihilated. From this moment on, my body went on full autopilot, and I couldn't remember doing or controlling anything afterwards. 'I' was gone. But one thing remained: awareness. Thus started the real trip. This is where things become challenging to word.
    Despite the chaotic nature of the process, the transition from the physical to the 'metaphysical' phase felt quite smooth. I can't tell if this transition was quick or slow, because it felt like both, but at a given point, I realized that a change was made, like a click. You probably know it by now: the key thing about 5-MeO-DMT, the number one rule, is to surrender completely. You have to let go in order to tap into the deepest realms. And this is what happened, quite mechanically I must admit, when I blacked out. Precisely because there was no one to resist anymore, all resistance vanished for good. Which is not to say that the stream ceased to deploy itself. As I abandoned myself, and all the rest, to this experience, it exploded even more. The energy skyrocketed to infinity. There was no one and nothing in the world to hold it back. The stream was free, and so was I.
    I found myself floating in what I can only describe as an eternal, infinite void. In this 'dimension', there was no time, and no space. I forgot their meanings. I forgot my human senses, all of them. This perception was so direct and total, that it was beyond any sense; it was not visual, not tactile, not soniferous... It was everything at once and more. Unified, undefined, compressed. I forgot the life I had before. I forgot who or what I used to be. One thing only was certain: I was. I was this omnipotent flow of purity. When this realization poped out, it was so deep and clear, that I could only think 'This is absolutely incredible.', although it was a feeling rather than a thought. An obvious and undeniable feeling, a beam of unprocessed truth. Like opening my eyes to light for the first time. And discovering existence as what it truly is.
    I remained in this state for what felt like an eternity. Immersed in this divine light. One with it. The serenity I felt was of cosmic proportions. It was intense, even more so than the destructive energy of before, but this time, it was positive and healing. It felt like home. Home of the soul. The one and only place I ever wanted to end up within. While deeply mystical and mysterious, there was nothing to understand, nothing to analyze, nothing to conceptualize... It was the clearest, and the most obvious, and the most unquestionable feeling ever. My body was laying on the cold tiles of my kitchen. But I... I was laying on the ultimate layer of reality.
    'I only exist to be here.', I thought. 'I only exist to feel this. To be this. Nothing else matters. There is nothing else.' And indeed, how could there be anything else? It was silly obvious. Being is everything. Being is the core, the substance of all, the Father of All, the Son, the Holy Spirit. And I'm sure every religion has other nice names... I realized this, and I laughed internally. It felt so good, so unbelievably good. 'I have won.', I thought. 'I have already won everything there is to win.' And then: 'Yes. Oh yes. OH YES. YEEES!!' I became a yes. God, the euphoria. Infinite pleasure. Infinite love. Infinite heavenly energy flowing and filling everything. It was way too good. Forbiddenly good. A billion times more that anything I've ever desired.
    And at last, I thought 'This is It.' When I received and became everything, and fully accepted it, and fully acknowledged it, this thought, this feeling popped out from the very core, like the ultimate truth. 'This is It.' ... But what is It, you might ask? Hahaha... You fool. It is It! Itself. You can't name it, it's all names. You can't define it, it means everything. You can't understand it. You can only feel it, only become it. It hit me, and it was the breakthrough of the experience. Incidentally, the most important moment of my existence.
    Phase 3: Rebirth & aftermath
    I wish I stayed in this state of totality forever. As I said, this experience was timeless and didn't feel short by any means. But unsurprisingly, it had to wear down, and eventually I began to reemerge. Slowly, my vision and other senses came back. At first, it was surprising, because I was no longer familiar with them. I was perceiving a lot of information that I couldn't make sense of, seeing colors, and hearing sounds... It was marvelous, beautiful, maybe the kind of things a newborn experiences during the first minutes of his life. I was too shaken to formulate coherent conclusions about anything. I didn't want to think, so I just continued to savour this awesome exotic feeling that was still very much present and flowing through me. The greatness was taking form, diversifying into uncountable gorgeous shapes. Everything around me was magnificent.
    And in this very moment, I realized very clearly, that all of these different things were branches extending from a single tree. Not separate from it, but prolongations of the tree itself. It was extremely lucid and clear. I was perceiving raw reality, like a single gradient containing every possible color, without any disconnection within it, or any false separation. And I felt that it was all possible only through me... Wow! As far as what I can articulate goes, this understanding was probably the greatest. It's one thing to have a theoretical, conceptual image of non-duality, but it's a drastically different thing to actually feel and embody it.
    I noticed that I was laying on the refreshing floor of my kitchen, which felt stupidly great. Honestly, part of it was just gratefulness for still being alive. I heard some sounds, and saw a silhouette standing over me. I couldn't process what I was perceiving, although I knew it was important. As I faced my inability to make sense of things, I took a step back and was offered another precious fragment of truth: raw reality is meaningless. In and of itself, completely meaningless! How deliciously ironic is it? I found one of the best pieces of wisdom of my life within complete 'confusion'. A fact that speaks a lot itself.
    Much to my dismay, this lucidity started to wear off as well. The sound that I was hearing was the person's voice. They were loudly calling me by name, and hearing it triggered a response. 'Oh, that's right. I am someone.', I thought. Funny how this was my first logical, constructed reflection. The ego was among the first things to creep back, as the fierce beast that it is. 'I had a life before... But something very big happened. I took something.' And like that, other similar thoughts and observations continued to spawn and multiply. 'This will change my life completely.', I thought. 'How could it possibly be the same after something like THIS?' It was amazing, but at the same time frightening. I knew it would have enormous implications for the future.
    A not so distant future... I recognized the face of my uncle, who lives nearby. He was worried and I could feel it, which in turn made me sad. I wanted to tell him that I was feeling better than ever, but I couldn't squeeze out a single word out of my mouth, nor could I move a finger, for almost ten minutes. As he told me later, he heard me screaming for several minutes straight like I was being murdered. Apparently, I was also bashing everything around me, because he heard loud thuds coming from inside as he knocked to my door. He later found me in the kitchen, motionless and unaware, with a blank expression and an empty stare. Laying on the ground among overturned tables and chairs. I can only imagine what he must have thought...
    So naturally he called an ambulance because I was unresponsive, and shortly after I was surrounded by turbulent rescuers running around and checking my pulse. I could speak by the time they arrived, and said I felt perfectly fine, but they wouldn't listen. It was a truly pityful moment, they all had no idea. I was honest and said them what I did, much to their disregard. Some of them looked at me like at a piece of garbage. I can't blame them, the whole scene objectively didn't look good. I had to be taken to the hospital, but that's a story for another time. So much for after-trip integration!
    Insights & conclusion
    Alright, let's pretend the embarrassing turn of events never happened. It's time to discuss the trip as a whole. Holy moly, wasn't that strong! From a purely organic standpoint, this thing hits like a high-speed train. Be very ready if you plan to do it yourself. And of course, don't take such a high dose, unless being body slammed by the Universe is your thing. I want to say this loud and clear: as far as I'm concerned, everything they say about 5-MeO is true. This substance is the key to the kingdom of God. My understanding of words like 'existence' or 'being' changed entirely. In less than half an hour, I experienced absolute infinity, the whole spectrum of human emotions and sensations, the collapsing of time and space themselves, and litteraly merged with the core of reality. I honestly doubt it goes much further than that... This trip was total.
    Now, does this qualify to be called a genuine Enlightenment experience? Look, I don't want to offend anyone and I honestly don't know the first thing about true spirituality. I am in no position to say what is actual Awakening, and what is not. All I can say, is that it was the freaking most unbelievable moment of my life, something that I never would have dreamed was possible. I will remember this until the day I die, and will cherish it, and will always stand behind it. Whatever it was, it was it up to the hilt. You be the judge. But for me, it was as authentic as it gets.
    This trip happened in August 2017, so I allowed myself a lot of time to assimilate it and find the right words. I'm not sure if I succeeded. I know that I used a lot grandiloquent sentances and superlatives and bombastic metaphors, but clearly I don't know if there's any other way to put it. To me, if there's one thing that truly deserves to be called infinite without abusing language, it's this. I thought about it a lot, and tried to reach states of this nature by my own, during meditation or even in every day life. Sometimes I have short glimpses, mostly randomly out of the blue, and they're awesome. Like fresh reminders of this experience that help me to remember some aspects of the trip I forgot. Also, my subsequent trips with other psychedelics like LSD changed a lot. They feel much more limpid and enjoyable. Some of what I wrote here was thanks to other substances. They helped me to connect the dots and make sense of the craziest parts of the experience.
    I withdraw from this trip three major insights of which I still have a very solid and fresh understanding as I write these lines:
    • Everything is one. I mean, obviously. It's so undeniable at this point. There's not a shadow of a doubt in my heart. This reality is one. And it exists by itself, for itself, does whatever it wants, expands through the never and through the nowhere, like a savage, insane, infinite and eternal fractal. Being is its substance. Being is the common denominator of all things within it.
    • The present moment is the only thing that there is. Let that sink in, carefully understand what's being said. The present moment is the only thing that there is. Can you see? Can you feel it? This thing that you are experiencing at this very moment. This elusive little thing that you so rarely pay attention to. It's eternity itself!! Do you realize that there will never be a future, and never was a past? There's only this! This small present moment, shorter than a femtosecond, so short it can't be measured, it will go on for ever, and ever, and ever...
    • Reality has no meaning whatsoever. It's contents have no meaning. Meaning exists only within the utilitarian minds of some living creatures. It's artificial and fake. You can use this tool as you please, but try to not get lost in the web. Don't waste your time chasing moral chimeras... Don't think any of this has purpose other than just being itself.
    Aaand... phew. That's about it. I think it's time to wrap this up. I said what I had to say, and I hope some of you guys found this useful. Thanks for sticking up with me until the end. Please feel free to comment if you have remarks or questions, I will gladly address those. And damn... Definitely try 5-MeO at least once in your lifetime before you die, if that wasn't clear by now.
    Peace!

  16. buisness tips
    Business toxifying my PASSION/LIFE PURPOSE
    @optimize First of all, these are quality problems. Acknowledge how far you've come. You've build something rare and you ain't done yet.
    Secondly, yeah! Welcome to survival! Survival is a cut-throat activity. It is not easy to balance between business & art. It is not easy to run a conscious business. Which is why virtually no body does it.
    Yes, your business can get fucked at any time, and if you neglect it for too long, it will probably die. Such is life. There is no life without death. The solution is to accept it and face your fear of failure/business-death. I used to get these fears a lot. I still get them to some extent but a lot less so after my many mystical experiences, which teach me that death is inevitable and nothing to be afraid of. After you experience a few physical deaths, business death doesn't seem so serious any more.
    That said, if you are going to be running a business you should run it well, strategically. Think about ways to make your business more future-proof and self-sustaining. You can do that without being paranoid about it. Make the distinction between being strategic and proactive vs being paranoid. You can do one without doing the other and vice versa.
    Of course your survival is tied to your business performance. Business IS survival. The solution here it is not get too wrapped up in survival. Yes, survival is necessary but don't make your entire life about survival. Don't make your entire business about survival. You must skillfully evolve your business beyond survival to incorporate play, artistry, beauty, and consciousness. This must be done while still keeping one eye on your finances. Just like how an artist cannot paint all day long without eating food. But it would be a mistake for him to get so paranoid about food that all he does all day is eat food and never paints. A balance must be struck between eating food and making art. Likewise between business and art.
    Most successful entrepreneurs end up workaholics. You should probably make time for other stuff like relationships, travel, spirituality, etc. Do that without neglecting your business. If you're earning $100,000 you should have enough money to hire a bit of extra help. Consider hiring an online contractor to help you out. Consider how to align your art with your biz.
    Yes, I always feel a desire to grow and expand my biz. But I have to be disciplined and say NO! to lots of opportunities because biz is not as important as spirituality, for example. I pass up on a lot of opportunities because biz cannot be your #1 priority in the end. That way lies disaster.
    How do I handle fears of my business getting fucked? At this point I've basically stopped caring. I've almost stopped caring if I die. This was made possible through spiritual work and profound mystical experiences which show me that biz and life are just a hallucination. None of my life or work really matter. This is all just a game. It's being done for fun and artistry. You could get run over by a bus tomorrow. So why worry about it? Getting over the fear of loss of my business took many years of work. It also helped that I saved up a comfortable nest egg. My YT channel could die tomorrow and I would still be able to live for 15 years without working. I strategically designed it this way. You can too. Not in a week, but in a few years time you could.
    Sometimes I still think of the business aspects of things, but at this point in my life, career, and development I spend more time thinking about living in a cave than running a business. You are not at this point yet. Maybe you'll get there in 5-10 years of work. It all depends on what your goals are for your life. For me, the point of business is to enable my passion and artistry. Design your business such that it allows you to do your art. Artsy fartsy stuff is not waste of time if it part of your life purpose and your life purpose is fueling your biz. The whole point is to align all these things in a balanced way.
    If you set up your business properly, you should be able to take time off to pursue spirituality, travel, leisure, art, relationships, etc. That will take some years to actualize, but it's worth it. The first few years of building a business usually requires LOTS of hours of non-stop work. But the whole point of all that work is so that in the future your business is more or less on auto-pilot.
    Tie the artsy-fartsy stuff to the success of your biz.
    Remember the importance of dynamic balance. See my balance video.
    Have a long-term strategic plan.
    Automate, outsource, and streamline stuff as much as you can.
    Fear is always a psychological self-deception game. Your fear is something you want to contemplate and face head on. Just building your biz more is never going to solve the fear of losing your biz. Your biz could be making $1 billion per year and you'd still fear losing it. Even more so! Because fear is never based in reality, it is purely mental. So explore that. To really overcome fear you must do deep spiritual work. Fear is inevitable without enlightenment.
    Overall, you're on the right track. Just fine-tune things and take it to the next level. Next level does not necessarily mean: more money & bigger biz. Next level means: a new balance, or action at a higher level of consciousness.

  17. 5Meo Expectations
    The 5-MeO-DMT Mega-Thread
    No, I didn't scream although I can imagine that some people do that. You might be talking to yourself out loud, laughing crying, things like that. I spoke without speaking myself the last time I did it. That was crazy. So my lips just move and formed sentences that talked to me. Your body might move on its own. You'll have a very big body load in the beginning that then will crush your ego, so that you can relax. So shaking of the body can totally happen. It might also just vibrate on itself. You give up most of control over yourself in the experience, all there is left is an intuitive notion of what is right to do. And you as an ego don't control that. God controls that.
    You should go into the experience with the expectation to physically die. I'm not kidding. If you are willing to physically and mentally die to experience Truth and God, then you can really surrender. That's why in that instant when it hits you hard, you really see how much you are longing for Truth.
    Expect to freak out, expect to have panic attacks, expect to vomit, expect to go through the rudest kind of mental shit that you have buried in your psyche. All that might come up when you start with it. I went through all of it (except when I needed to vomit I couldn't - it was just energy blocks releasing themselves).
    So yeah, it's pretty crazy and you need some experience until you are at that point where it is only nice. You need t earn that. If you still wanna go for it - - start slow with 10mg, then 15mg ... to 30mg and maybe get some Kola Nut for the deeper experiences.

  18. New year's resolutions
    No video this week????
    @Joseph Maynor
    Im gonna do enlightenment work 25 hours every day, then on the 8th day of every week I will sleep for 2.5 hours, drink ayahuasca, eat air, breathe some sunlight and watch Leo's video. Then I will write exactly 43 posts on this forum, take an ice bath and watch the sunset for the rest of the morning. In 2019 I will not though my dick for 480 days and I will try my best to go to the gym 9 times a week, for 42 minutes every session. I will also earn a million dollars that year as well.
     

  19. how crucial is being able to talk with girls?
    how crucial is being able to talk with girls?
    this will open your eyes

  20. Important Superior Man Woman
    how crucial is being able to talk with girls?
    Do not masturbate. Mentally or physically a couple of days before you go out. 
    Breathe into your belly with the intensity of desire. Integrate your sexual energy, don't let it go. Tollerate is the name of the game..  She will love you for it
    Listen and learn from Amber one of David deidas coaches
    One of a five part series
     

  21. "Nothing could prepair me for this"
    5-MeO-DMT trip report
    Dose: 15mg smoked
    Female, 28yo, have been actualizing for almost 3 years now, was religious most of my life, then atheist and now a believer of 5-meo hahaha, jokes aside, the experience happened two weeks ago and NO WORDS can describe it, what makes it very hard to write a trip report, but I do want to write because everything I’ve been seeking in the last years were all about this experience, the final destination, the void, the place we came from, the place we go when we die, the end of the world, the beginning of everything, god, the universe, Alah, Deus, higher power, the source, etc.
    “As above, so below, as within, so without” 
    I smoked the substance and covered my mouth so the smoke couldn't come out, then every time my friend repeated, hold on! hold on! hold on! it was like I was passing a dimension, so many layers of it and so fast that it went on and on until my mind was dissolved into eventual nothingness
    I literally felt like a river of clear bright water was running through my body carrying all the blockages away, garbage, so many fucking things, social conditioning, traumas, beliefs, drama, so much shit, the more I relaxed and surrended to the experience the more my body was being cleaned, the more I let go the better I felt in my body, to the point my body dissolved into that nothingness and emptiness, and whenever I tried to make sense of the situation, whenever I tried to feel my body it was like I was having a full body orgasm, like every cell of my body was vibrating in that same warm frequency, wasn’t good, bad, strong or weak, it was pure perfection, I felt like my body was being embraced by that loving energy, a hug from god  all I start saying from now on will for sure sound like a cult if you've never experienced it, and from this point I strangely started to understand how religion had began, how many people had experienced a glimpse of that energy, this is IT. Like my whole life, everything I’ve lived was just to bring me to that moment, that THING very very special, I’ve tried many psychedelics but this was by far my deepest and most important mystical experience, not close to any meditation or psychedelics I had tried, and I see how 5meo it's known to be the most powerful hallucinogen, actually not even hallucinogen cause it's really a sensation, no visuals or anything.
    I came back from the trip saying to my trip sitter (that btw is someone I met through the forum) eu, voce, voce, eu, that means I, you, you, me, in Portuguese and my first thought was to stop talking because the more I talked the more I separated myself from others, that oneness, interconnectedness was fading away, it was sad but at the same time I was glad to be back because having that feeling for a long period of time is for sure overwhelming and might be fucking hard, I understand how enlightenment comes with a lot of time, effort, meditation, stillness and understanding, my body and mind the way it's right now would not comport such thing, it's not an easy peasy thing, it's holiness.
    I apologize for my scarcity of words to describe the trip but most important is what stayed with me and below I try to explain the integration to normal life.
    Aftermath: My voice sounds much softer now, what made me realize how blocked I was before and how much more blocks can be released, I also was kind of addicted to weed, not addicted but I was smoking it very often, and like Leo says addictions are fear of emptiness, so I was smoking weed instead of facing my daily emptiness, after the trip I lost that necessity of smoking, not saying anything bad about weed, it’s an awesome tool when used properly, like psychedelics.
    How deep the rabbit hole goes: I have the feeling that I could’ve gone waaay waaaaay deeper, I know infinity has no depth but man, I wonder what this can do to me and my body if I do it often, like once per month, I’ve been preparing myself for this trip for over a year, I’ve snorted twice but didn’t breakthrough now I am very excited for what's to come.
    Theory DOES NOT DO justice: It’s crazy the amount of books I’ve read about 5meo, psychedelics, spirituality, psychology, personal development, science, and nothing, nothing, nothing I've read would prepare me for that, I had so much theory but 0 experience, I realize the trap now, all the theory if not applied is just mental masturbation, this was such a big thing for me, and I see the trap in religion too, how many people had experience 2% of this energy, this god, and created a whole spiritual ego, also given that 98% of those people have not experienced this oneness and claim the whole righteousness of religion just because of EGO, it's just crazy, my feeling right after the trip was to create a 5meo group haha but then I remembered that religion is this cult hahaah uhhhh so easy to join one of those groups, I'm not gonna go into the religion topic but all I can say is I feel them, I have much more compassion for religious people now, and I see how science is too limited to explain or even prove such thing, so in the religion vs science game, religion for sure embraces much much more of the mysterious, the unexplained unknown that is God. Many paths that end in the same place, many ways to reach the same goal, the trip brought me lots of understanding of how religion works and how people go so far because of it.
    Oneness: One thing is to say I’m one with all, we are all one, we are all connected and bla bla bla, another thing is to experience and really feel that interconectedness, I have this feeling now, whenever I look at someone, their suffering is my suffering, their happiness is my happiness, I AM them, they are a part of me, and this makes me feel an overload of compassion that I did not have before, we are all in the same roller coaster, all in this dream, every person with their difficulties, ours egos might be fighting but deep inside we are all gods experiencing itself subjectively in different bodies, also because I'm more aware of the role my ego plays I have a different perspective of my relation with people, when someone is being mean or evil, they are just showing me a little bit of what they are going through, what's going on within them, it's never about me like my ego likes to think. 
    BIG BIG BIG joke: Until a couple days ago whenever my mind started fearing something or worrying I would burst laughing, it was kind of spontaneous and involuntary, god laughing through me about how small and insignificant my problems are close to HIM, I would just laugh out of sudden, super weird. It’s fucking crazy, it gave me a sense of “fuck everything” but in a good way, not in the I don’t care about anything, but in the sense of hurry up, live life, let go of fearing and enjoy life however you want, there is no right or wrong way to do so, a sense of freedom, so much freedom, extreme freedom, radical freedom, terrifying freedom, I realized that we are so encapsulated in our little lives, in our egos, in our little bubbles because in the end what we fear is THAT freedom, we don’t know what to do with so much freedom that we create barriers unconsciously not to experience all of it, we allow ourselves sometimes to feel it a little bit but the amount of freedom 5 meo showed me is extremely scary. Wow I also cry when I try to go back to the experience, I'm very sensitive now, also my meditation is much deeper, I sit for meditation and POW I'm right there into the void, swimming in the black hole, what enabled me to meditate even in the sauna, my body burns there for 20 or 30 minutes and my mind is far far away... very interesting.
    Relaxation: The biggest thing I've learned in the trip, the more I surrender to life (the same way I surrendered to the trip, where I had to let go of everything for the “substance” to work on me) it's just exactly the same with life, the more we relax and trust the universe (or god whatever you wanna call it) the more the energy of universe runs freely within us, and all the suffering we experience is a resistance for that energy, we want to do it our way, our ego wants it in its way, it’s that old saying, we get what we need out of life, not what we want, BUT every time (even if we consider our experiences as a bad) the universe is working to give us the best of the best, in order for us to grow and evolve, not as a person (ego) but as a group, as consciousness, as a whole, like Ram Dass says, the suffering comes from our attachment to what we think life should be, if we just relaxed life would be much much easier, I also thought about a video that he says we create THICK DRAMA out of nothing, I laughed hard, of how much drama I (the ego) is capable of creating, I SO understand that now, how rare that we exist, how beautiful life is, how magical everything can be if we just let go of everything we think we know and opened ourselves up to what the universe has to offer, but our ego wants to know everything, wants to pretend it knows, wants to find a logic, wants to find the right way to live life, wants to make sense of the unkown, wants to live like one has everything figured out hahaha we literally know NOTHING.
    State of Not Knowing: “Unaccustomed as we are to not knowing, we don’t understand the freedom that awaits us when we experience life beyond our beliefs.” Quote from The book of not knowing, Peter Ralston, that’s what enlightenment is, insanity, accepting uncertainty, so hard for the ego but liberating for the soul.
    Wow, I thought I could not write but man I could spend hours talking about IT, I’m super happy and feel lucky AF to have had this experienced, I can’t believe we found a toad that enables us to experience such thing, a TOAD, haha of course a toad, it's like a cartoon, we are living the fucking dream, I see all differently now, the sky is just a big screen we watch different channels every day, a dog barked in the neighbor’s house right after the trip, and the fucking dog was literally inside my head, I was creating the dog barking, the dog and everything around me, how fantastic and fascinating creatures we human beings are.
    PS: I’m deeply deeply deeply thankful for you Leo, I met so many amazing people here, actualizers are my faaaavorite 
    Thank you if you made it to the end..  
    Till next time
    Miss Nobody
    "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"
    fucking Truman show..


  22. NoFap - Why you should quit porn & masturbation !
    NoFap - Why you should quit porn & masturbation !
    Hey, its midway through my challenge and my update look terrible, but its packed with insights. I relapsed MO several times, and enough awareness of that has made me see through it. But one thing remained, nagging the fuck out of my mind, the P.
    Disclaimer: I did not relapse with MO during this session, and honestly, my awareness has gotten me to the holy point of me not being able to justify and let myself MO again. This session was all about shining awareness on the P.
    I read the guidelines, considering that I would paste my notes without the graphic descriptions but as im not going against the guidelines (If I really do, then this is a sweet goodbye), I find that some of you might find this valuable. Im posting this out of lack of compelling reasons not to, here in the NoFap discussion.
    "Initial, direct:" is graphic, "Aftermath (Insights):" Has most of the insights. You have been warned.
     
    2018-05-12
    Read everytime you want to fap/watch porn (If you don't read this before relapsing, you're pathetic).
    Watched porn with as much awareness as I could (BinarualB to keep me aware). I chose by intuition to watch porn, not by raw desire. I wanted to see trough the porn once and for all, to wipe the slate clean for my decisions to come.
    Initial, direct: Heart pounding, fatigue in the eyes by keeping them open to not miss out on anything while im scrolling. Nothing does get better than an orgasm, so the porn was not hiding any superior ecstasy (As my mind deceived me into believing) Very low consciousness is required to be able to create this kind of art. It's made to appeal to your natural evolution only. I got addicted to this, and could not snap out of it. It was because of the circumstances, I had nothing better. What was I searching for, ecstasy? MO is all there is, there is nothing more to the pleasure unless you have sex (by contrast) Flatten the illusion in order to see trough any fantasy. Your awareness knows how it feels. Flatten out everything to how it "feels". I see trough the game the mind is playing on me, and what hooks all unconscious people. Even if I see my wildest fantasy on picture, I can see through it. The only thing that remains is lingering dopamine that comes when I keep scrolling. There is no place for porn. I should have sex. If the pleasure of sex is the only true thing, then go shine your awareness on that. It's a good experience, but it won't last forever, it's very low on the list. Out of libido for this, after 25 minutes, im just scrolling, no dopamine, no pleasure. Every time I see something erotic, my heat starts pounding - dopamine for me to fap. I already know what will come after fapping, and I know the side effects and cravings that follow. I see it all trough. Time goes by pretty fast, like playing good video games. Though im not experiencing as much initial dopamine from the video games, though the cravings are revealing that. I deceived myself into preferring futanari over heterosexual, as I painted a picture of a dickgirl always experiencing ungodly pleasure, as opposed to men (my pleasure). This makes it all too hot, as it's not only a female body replacing the man and the role of the man, but she is experiencing much more pleasure aswell. I wanted to pleasure the "girl" (Female body, male genitalia) by stroking her dick (imaging it). That was the problem,  by the clever artistry, it looked like the "girl" had an unmeasurably good time. I want to pleasure her! That's a great pleasure for a man, so I feel lots of dopamine is being released when I see (an imaged scenario) of her getting pleasured. (Applies to a static pose-picture, where you commonly fantasize your own scenario out of that one picture). When I look at the hottest porn of women and men playing, I really get turned on, to fap, and it's endless. Futanari is trash, once you see through it. (But I really want to fap to that scenario!) And this is the trap. When you don't see the woman enjoying herself when she should, you release more dopamine to fuck her harder. (That is why it's really hot (for me) to see or fantasize women going trough an orgasm without even flinching.) I like to see the "girl" surrendering to anal pain while simultaneously experiencing dick pleasure. (But how does that feel)? Aftermath (Insights):
    Your screen gets to be your heroin, and you got no energy for anything else. Find a real girl, anything sexual other than that will lead you nowhere, but depression (considering that you have a decent relationship). I feel very drained, almost like wanting to sleep. Worse than orgasming for sure. I will get cravings and urges. The source of the "bringing enjoyment to the woman (in porn) trap", is thinking that the woman is gonna be experiencing some kind of nondual ecstasy, so your urge (dopamine) to pleasure her becomes greater. Be real, it's exactly like a male orgasm, and so you don't really want to engage her into such an addiction. Now when I think of anything else than porn, there is no pleasure in it! Pleasure, pleasure everywhere (trough sex, nothing else.) My mind is very deceiving. Anytime I try to think of pleasure, sex comes up, the artistry of my fetishes, etc, and if I give in, my penis gets hard (of natural response, cant control it), and so goes the addiction loop. I have seen trough the pleasure part of porn, and I know how it's playing out and going on. I know what the consequences of PMO is, and thus why, I will stop and eliminate it. There is much better stuff out there, much better. My intuition knows that, but my dirty mind tries to deny that, precisely so that it can maintain the porn homeostasis. Giving into fantasies is like watching the porn. I notice the most exquisite of the porn images flashing before me actively, but if I don't give in to the fantasy, nothing happens. Trying to "see trough it" is like visualizing having sex, which gives you blue balls. Just trust your prior awareness that there is nothing to receive from fantasizing thus PMO. Trust that the greatness lies completely beyond that, so don't even analyze it. This was the purpose of fapping with awareness, seeing trough the "secret ecstasy of PMO" so that you can see that it's just completely worthless, thus you will be able to quit cold turkey. It was worth it doing this with awareness. If I would not, then it would be much easier for my mind to deceive me into thinking that porn would be the "holy grail of pleasure", and so I would make it much harder for me to resist for the required period. Now that I have introduces my awareness into the equation, I feel like I much easier can deny the offer (im not missing out on anything). Rewire, higher your baseline, and forget about all this heroin.

  23. Reading over and over again
    How To Become Enlightened Guide #2
    Enlightenment
    Did you notice the word light in the word enlightenment? The word enlightenment is simply pointing to the light that is already inside you. We are a self-aware energy field of consciousness.
     
    How to become an enlightened master
     
    I have written about how I've became enlightened in the past, but reflecting back on it I know that I could write a better guide. So I will write a better guide now. As time passes I will be able to write better guides, this is guide #2. You can find my first guide here:
    Also I have integrated deeper states in the last 6 months, and much more to come because I have a lot of time to focus on it. Back in July I had an impulse to write that guide without putting much thought in it, prior to that I didn't even know I could write such a long post in the english language, that was my longest post I have written in english. Since realizing I could write such long posts I have spend more time on this forum writing to become better at my english and in the next few months I will start writing posts on my website and maybe do youtube videos, I am 22 and I  am excited to create a lot of content.
    I have brainstormed more then 30 topics for  this guide but there is so much to talk about that it's impossible to put it all in a short post so I will condense it and I hope this will be only the starting point of your investigation and experimentation. I would like to mention a lot of examples but there is just too much to cover, so if you have a question post it below. Also learn to do a google and youtube search and you will find everything that you need, don't be lazy. Just listen to the ideas presented from the higher self and investigate further.
     
    If you are thinking "Why would I  listen to this random guy?", I will point out a few reasons:
    I have became enlightened 4 years ago, meaning I have attained a permanent state of disidentification that doesn't go away whatever I do, it's there. attained a state with 99,9% pure mind with no thoughts(mental sounds) trough the whole day had a lot of paranormal experiences when fully sober (sensing energy fields of people, seeing peoples auras, knowing what others are thinking, seeing a ghost, sensing disembodied beings, seeing angels materializing in a form of light orbs more then 1000 times, remote viewing places that I don't even think are to be considered places (more like hyper dimensional meeting platforms, hard to put into words. A lot of different species of beings were present, it was more lucid then this 3D matrix).... established telephatic contact with extraterrestrials more then 100 times resulting in their materialization in the sky ( I plan to film it in the future, but need more preparation meanwhile If you want to see a footage of how contact looks I can send you a video, just message me) .... more but I hope that's enough. so I think I am qualified to speak on the topic of enlightenment.  Only those who are enlightened can truly speak about enlightenment. Let's start.
     
    Enlightenment is not a final destination. There is no start and no finish. Enlightenment is a journey, it never ends. A never ending fractal. That's probably why very few people mention that they're enlightened, because they know, they are still on the journey of enlightenment and haven't finished it yet (a lot of them never realize that the journey will never be finished). So let go of the assumption that you need to finish this journey.
     
    Wrong question: How do I attain enlightenment?
    Right question: What is the journey of enlightenment?
     
    The journey of enlightenment is a journey of coming back to oneness. Oneness is pure bliss. A journey of remembering and aligning to your True Self. It's all about alignment with your True Self. 
     
    All is here and now, all is obvious, but when you  are too identified with the mental dimension of thoughts you separate yourself from the experience that is happening here and now.
     
     Content of thoughts is exists  in time and that is an illusion, because experience can happen only in the now moment, content of thoughts is not an experience, it's a story about something that's happening always in the now.
     
     Time is a byproduct of consciousness reflecting back on it's own existence. http://iamniverse.com/timeexperience.html (read all the articles on this site)
     
     There is only a sequence of now moments. Think of it like in a film, there is no actual motion in the film, there is only a certain number of frames per second, and that creates the illusion of motion.
     
       Experience is what's true for you. Experience is always happening right here, right now. The experience of life is the experience of consciousness. The only thing you need is direct experience of what's already happening. 
     
    When You are able to unite with the experience that is happening now, then You can redefine it and create a new experience of what's happening.
     
    There is no reality outside your definitions. Your definitions create your reality.
     
    Everything exists but you experience only what is relevant to your state of consciousness. 
     
    Everything vibrates. Thoughts have a vibrational frequency associated to them.  These vibrations are stored in the vacuum. You are like the radio that is receiving the music from the station. You need to adjust the frequency that you are emmiting for the reality you wish to experience to come to you. Simple as that. »If you want to know the secrets of the universe think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration ~Nikola Tesla«
    When you understand that everythng vibrates, dimensions of existence start to make sense. The higher the frequency the more complex the patterns.
     
    You can't understand higher dimensions with the lower dimensional understanding. For example. D=dimension. 3D(width, length, height) body is understood better only on the mental dimension (4D). 5D understands 4D. And 6D understands 5D. 5D is infinity. 6D is infinity inside infinity. Infinity is the infinite possible versions of spaceline and timelines that are always happening now. When identified with the mental dimension past and future make sense, but in 5D it doesn't make sense because everything is happening now, you are just shifting a billions of times per second trough parallel realities. Past and future is happening now.
    You are a multidimensional being. 
    3D - physical body - space
    4D- everything that you believe yourself to be, paradigms, thoughts, definitions...mental dimension - past and future-time
    5D- being, soul, True Self, consciousness - here and now
     
    Whatever you give meaning to, is true for you
     
     
    Positive feelings have a higher vibrational frequency than negative feelings. Raise your vibrational frequency. Google masaro emoto water experiment and rice experiment. 
     
    Positive feelings are communications from your Higher Self that you are in alignment with your True Self. Negative feelings are communications from your Higher Self that you are out of alignment with your True Self. 
    Yes, I am talking about different aspects of self. Check this thread:
    Everything is serving you perfectly, everytime, all the time, the devine orchestrating mechanism is the same for all, you just need to get in tune with it. It's perfect.
     
    Become conscious of your definitions and re-define them to bring you into higher vibrational alignment with your True Self. Ask yourself, how does it feel like to have that definition or belief. Ask yourself, how does this serve you (everything is serving you somehow, just become conscious of how it's serving you).  
     
    Put every discovered belief into writing. If you discover something about yourself and don't put it into writing, it is still stored in the ungrounded mental dimension and so you'll keep repeating the same old story in an endless loop. When you put it into writing, you ground these mental patterns and can analyze them more clearly, this is important.
     
     Discard limiting beliefs and definitions that do not serve you  and replace them with empowering and integrated definitions. Practice detachment to let go, shift and transform limiting definitions. 
     
    The old paradigm motto is let go, the new paradigm motto is there is nothing to hold on to. Letting go is a byproduct of the realization that there is nothing to hold on to. 
     
     Feel to think, don't think to feel. This is a radical paradigm shift. Adopt the feeling paradigm and leave the thinking paradigm. 
     
    Once you discover the beliefs and definitions that are out of alignment with your True Self, re-define them in a way that it feels better in the body. 
     
    Then you have to reinforce that state of being multiple times, this is necessary for integrating it. Why? Because that is a test if you really changed, that is a necessary part of the transfiguration process. Any doubt that you have not changed will reinforce the previous aspect of yourself. The previous version of yourself will manifest multiple times, you need to stay self-aware to re-define the reflection. When the old version of yourself manifests act arational (leo has a video explaining post rationalism). 
     
    Don't try to change, know you have changed and reality will reflect that back to you. Remember outside is only a reflection of the inside. Physical reality is a mirror. You have to change first for physical reality to reflect that change. Everything is happening inside You and you are inside it, just like in a dream. Be aware of what's happening inside You and be conscious of the reality that is you. Be conscious of the truth that is you and be self-aware to change it.
     
    Necessary qualities to make the shift:
     
    Desire(willingness, openness, passion) to be the most you that you can be.  Dedication (determination, conviction) to be the most you that you can be. Definition (beliefs that do not serve you) of limitation replaced with empowering integrated definitions. Detachment (to let go, shift, transform) from limiting definitions and beliefs.   
    An easy way to remember the four D’s is to memorize this mantra, “I’m desirous and dedicated to detach from definitions that do not serve me.”
     
     
    There are two worlds. One is the world of becoming and the other is the world that is. A subject and an object. The subject deals with the object.  Identification with the subject distorts the true perception that you are everything. The subject needs to unite with the object. The subject needs to transcend itself, transcend it's current version of itself. The subject doesn't need to annahilate itself it needs to be surrendered to a greater Truth. This is a never ending process. Transcend... include...transcend... include...transcend...include. 
     
    The subject collects data from the universe. Un-I-verse. The subject picks up vibrations  that are in the universe with the sense organs of the body by seeing, hearing, touching, smelling and tasting. There are also higher senses, like the sixth sense, which is related to intuition in mental visions. You need to decalcify the pineal gland to use the sixth sense to it's fullest potential. Do a google search, there is an entire website related to this topic. Quick tip: don't use toothpaste with sodium fluoride and install a water filter, because sodium fluoride is also in the water. (another way society keeps you in lower consciousness is by using sodium fluoride to calcify your pineal gland which produced DMT. The pineal gland is called the third eye. This third eye was mentioned in a lot of ancient scripture, even in the bible lol.). Apart from the sixth sense there are others, but they are not that important right now.
    The subject needs to transend the rhythm of it's own self-created sense world by aligning itself to the rhythm that is not accesible to normal man. This is done by concetration. You need to close the gates of the sense world first by hypnotizing yourself, by fixing the eyes on a near object and maintaining the concetration for a period of time. Leo has a video about concetration. You can feel when the gates of the sense world will close. The time you need to stay concentrated on an object depends on your ability to stay in the present moment. The more you're able to be in the present moment the faster the gates will close.
    Being in the present moment means being able to detach from the though stream by observing it a non-judgemental way or being able to shut down the thought stream by connecting the the breathing mechanism. By connecting to the breathing mechanism I mean being aware of it, watching it, or by manipulating its rhythm. At first you'll have to manipulate your breathing mechanism by slowing it down, but after a while of practicing you'll be able to be aware (watch) of the breathing without manipulating it. When you are fully aware of the breathing mechanism or when you're manipulating it by slowing it down, you can't think thoughts at the same time. It's impossible.  
     
    Being is not passive, being is dynamic. Stop thinking of being like it is just passive observation of the present moment. Being is much more then passive observation. Love is not passive and being is made out of love.
     
    You can fall into the trap of passive observation if you're doing mindfulness meditation for a lot of time. This is called the observer ego trap and you can stay stuck in it forever. I have made a post about it here:
    You have to be neutral in all situations. Neutral doesn't mean indifference. Neutral means having the freedom to choose because you are not attached to positive and negative.
     
    There are forces of attraction and repulsion in the universe. You always attract what you perceive to be enjoyable and repel what you perceive as painful. Be wary of this: something can be painful in actuality but you can have a belief that it is pleasurable and so you keep manifesting it again and again, in an infinite loop. So align your definitions to what actually is now.
     
    You are not going anywhere with this transcening, you are coming back home, into the body. The body is like a temple for the soul(being-beings=). The less resistance there is in the body, the more conductive you become for the integration of your True Self.
     
    Discover your core frequency by discovering your authentic self. Read this article and also find your mode of operation, goal, attitude and character flaws. (everything is on the site below, find it in the right side bar) Also find your enneagram type and your path of growth and stress. Then be in alignment with that personality.
    http://personalityspirituality.net/articles/the-michael-teachings/the-seven-roles-in-essence/
     
    Use contemplation to change your perception.
    I have made a few playlists a few years ago that will help you in meditation, so check these out. I have used all of these to meditate.
    Meditate a few days per week using theta/alfa brain waves . (you can find a lot of these meditations online. You need to use a good pair of headphones) Here's one:
    Here is a playlist with brainwaves:
    Brain wave playlist
    Also listen to and meditate with solfeggio frequencies (you don't need headphones with these). I have created a playlist with a lot of material and you can find it here: 
    Solfeggio frequencies and other types of frequencies playlist
    Here is a playlist with meditation music you can use to meditate:
    Meditation playlist
    Also I have some private playlists with extremely powerful activations, if you are serious send me a private message.
    You are made in the imagination of your True Self. You imagine yourself into existence. Everything was imagined prior to it's existence. You imagine beliefs, beliefs form, and beliefs then materialize so that you can see it. You are a belief and you are the one that is imagining it. I-magi-nation. You need to believe it to see it and not see it to believe it. Believeing is seing and not the other way around. This is a radical paradigm shift. See the way you want to see. 
     
    We are devine light beings. Google: aura, kirlian photography.
    DNA emits light. (demonstrated in the 1950) We can change DNA via words and thoughts. DNA is the blueprint for the physical organism.
     
    Light technology from Arcturus RA helped me a lot. I recommend this to people that  are more experienced with meditation to bring their meditation skills to another level (and much more). If you still need a lot of purging to do, then do it first. 
    Random:
    Awareness is aware of consciousness inside it. Witness to consciousness = awareness of consciousness. The mind is inside consciousness, so consciousness is conscious of the mind inside it.   
    Also check these insights:
    Sources:
    some teaching from Bashar http://harmoniousearth.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/HarmoniousEarthEbook4MB.pdf  It's a great book..  Mysticism: A Study in the Nature and Development of Spiritual Consciousness  (a book that is more than 100 years old. I have not finished it yet. Currently listening to the audio version of it that is on youtube. I have listened to the first 3 parts more then 20 times, it's so good... my new favorite book.
     
     
    How can you know that you are becoming more enlightened?
    Breathing mechanism is slower then in the past. The more higher consciousness you embody the more the breathing mechanism will slow down. After a while it will fell like you need very little air to function. The breathing will be very very slow automatically.  You are experiencing more positive feelings, more love and more compassion towards all beings. More piece in amidst all circumstances.  You are able to better discern what You truly are from who you are. (there is a what and there is who, you are both, but the what version of yourself is eternal the who version of you is not, it's constantly changing, one is, and one is becoming)  Less monkey mind. Your mind can stay focused in the present moment.  Accelerated space-time because you are not creating time by immersing yourself in the thought streams by identification. Time is an illusion created by thoughts and less thoughts you have, the less time you experience.