Viking

how crucial is being able to talk with girls?

50 posts in this topic

2 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

Read the way of the superior man. Study Joseph Campbell. Study jung. Get acquainted with reality before you try to attempt to enter the world of the feminine. Because the feminine ain't no picknick mate. It ain't no new age fucking Matt kahn bullshit angel factory.

acquainted with 3 of those :) I will reread the way of the superior man if i dont give up on finding a girlfriend for the time being. I think my shadow started to integrate some time ago, I had a few trips so I know what terror is, and kinda dealt alright with it. I also dont resonate with Matt kahn, he's too boring for me.

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2 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

f you can't live life then your enlightenment means nothing. 

haha it means nothing anyway ;) 

3 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

And lastly only ever invest in a woman who choses you. If you can't read the signals learn it until you can..

not sure I understood the language, you mean if she doesnt choose me there are certain signs for that and i should run? what do you mean by "choose"? like if shes interested?

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6 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

i mean don't wast your time chasing women who don't meet you half way. You will know what is happening if she likes you. It will feel good. It will work. If she's cold and you chase her for your ego then it won't work out. 

oh I know what you're talking about, ill try to notice that.

Thanks a lot man, Ill come back to this thread a few times to truly get it. Ill go to a nearby bar or mall in 2 weeks when my exams end and i will try implement stuff. in case ill get stuck ill write here again :) 

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@Etagnwo ok so what might happen is the following:

  1. I will go to a bar and there will be no interesting girls (or they will be too old) or I will go to a mall and everyone will be there either in school or too old.
  2. or i wont approach out of fear (even though she's human)
  3. or ill convince myself that i dont need a girlfriend (happened a few times)
  4. or i will approach but in the middle just get out 
  5. or i will run out of words
  6. or ill get numbers
  7. or ill get laid

2 and 3 might happen together, also 1 and 3 might happen together. how do i deal with both of these?

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@Etagnwo ha, ill try.

its just that it seems extremely in the sky right now, i have a little doubt if something will work, too good to be true kind of thing, it wont be as easy as it seems in theory. its all very abstract for me right now.

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@Viking I met a guy at a club (I was there to dance and have fun with my friends), we did NOT have sex for awhile. We dated.

That was.."30" (THIRTY).. years ago!

Don't let someone tell you what you will or won't find at a club. Be cautious, but don't treat women as she devils.

I only read about 2 pg's of this thread, as I could not tolerate Etagnwo's posts any longer. 


“You don’t have problems; you are the problem.”

– Swami Chinmayananda

Namaste 🙏

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@Etagnwo i got a question, there is no relationship until sex or at least kissing, right? so i gotta be clear about my intentions, else it wont go anywhere. how do i do that without overstepping her boundaries and not to seem creepy?

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@Etagnwo i get what youre trying to say but when i "become present" my mind goes blank almost 100% of the time.

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@Etagnwo you mean i dont have to plan anything at all?

what if i just come and not have to say anything? happened to me a lot.

 

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One has problems talking to women because some women in the past hurt them on a very deep vibrational level. 

Women tend to do this, and society as a whole. Specially mothers who feminized us. They usually don't let man develop fully because they are scared. But with Breath and Kundalini you can rediscover your potential, heal those aspects of the being which have been hurt, then you get liberated, and women will just praise you, literally, you will see. 

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49 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

TWOTSM

whats that

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7 hours ago, Etagnwo said:

What do you think of Owens video?

i didnt watch the video it was too long, though i watched some other videos of his and i thought he was legit, hes all about authenticity and self development.

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8 hours ago, Etagnwo said:

I understand that. The issue is that if you don't start at square one (being able to talk to and create attraction with women) then your chances of getting into a relationship are very slim. 

If you listen to conventional wisdom (date a girl, marry her, have kids) then what happens in those situations is men become unaware of how to interact with women on a sexual level. 

What happens 10 or 20 years down the line after a possible divorce is the guy is on his own and incapable of entering into the dating world. 

That's when he resigns himself to pimping himself on the internet dating scene and more of less becoming angry and frustrated because he doesn't have any other options

So matering the art of sexual communication is important because if you don't then a) you maybe won't have the choice to be able to meet the women you want because you won't have the skills and b) later you won't have that skill set and confidence to meet other highly desirable women either. You will be left with the internet dating or trying to meet women at work. Conventional life sucks. It really is a toxic situation and none of us are encouraged to develop our potential. We're just taken so far as orange and programmed to contribute to society. 

So it all starts with sex. We all start off as strangers and we all start off fancying each other sexually. So really that is where men need to learn first. 

So the choices are:

Actualize your potential with the opposite sex. Get the women that you want to be with for long term intimacy 

Or

Stay inside the conventional matrix, let a girl who is interested in nesting with you tie you down by making you wait for sex for weeks while she manipulates you into a pseudo friendship which will then lead to you financing your rising of your kids, having sex once per week because she is cut off and dormant and living a normal existence that culminates with a  divorce when she is done with you and you're on the scrap heap at 45 and attracting the same crappy boring women on the internet? Because this is real life for a vast majority of people in this existence. It's really bad. You have GOT to get this handled. 

If this doesn't convince you nothing will 

What kind of life do you want? Will you be the guy who is made to wait weeks for sex then you are being manipulated to be some sperm doner, provider, dog walker, the butt of her fucking endless tantrums because she's unhappy because you haven't got a clue...The nightmare list goes on....

Or are you willing to say fuck you to this shitty green society and be self actualized?

yeah thats one of the reasons that i wrote for myself why i should do this.

I remember you talked about tinder also, how do i actually get matches? i tried really hard with my photos and didnt get any result. i had a few matches but no dates, one just ignored me after she agreed to a date, one was too far away and another one seemed too needy and i wasnt attracted to her.

is tinder also a legit way?

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On 7/14/2018 at 6:30 PM, Etagnwo said:

@Viking what is your definition of decent?

In tinder looks don't matter, trust me. It's how you come across. 

I've put up photos of myself and then taken them down and still got more respondes based on my honesty. 

I can't believe you still think looks are an issue. For some women they ARE an issue, because I believe for those first looking for looks they have already got a boyfriend and are looking for laughs as extra on the net. That way they can live out two fantasies at Once, one they get a real male and 2 on tinder they get hunks drooling over them. 

arent you contradicting yourself?

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@Etagnwo I got your point though, it is how you come across, and in public looks dont matter because you can come across good without extreme looks.

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@Etagnwo There's a lot of nice advice in this thread, especially high quality pick up advice. I see that you follow rsd. Owen is a great teacher and he's transcending into stage green too. A lot of meditation and spiritual suggestions come from him nowadays.


But there's something I want to ask you, since I'm still new to approaching girls in venues.

I've had bad experiences as a teenager with girls, and got rejected badly a lot. 
My blindspot is that I tend to see girls as only interested in validation and egoic approval, and then reject you. I also tend to perceive women as not interested in your authenticity but only in the egoic boost you can give them (status, emotional spikes, etc), even though I SEE that authenticity turns them on. 

What do you think about validation? Do you think it's the major component of female to male attraction?
Or is my perception just scarred from my past?


??? Colors are my true nature ???

https://www.instagram.com/vibrant_awareness/    ???

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10 hours ago, Etagnwo said:

They don't want to take the risk of being rejected, they want to do the rejecting themselves and think of themselves as being in control of the situation. 

Thanks for the detailed response. Yes, I've read david deida, but I need to do it again since I don't remember much.

Yes, women like being validated because it's part of their social bonding instict. But the quoted part it's also a very corrupted part of this sexual nature. They want to always be in control of the situation and always be the ones who reject you and humiliate you. 
I really DON'T understand this about women. Why is it necessary to do that? Can't they just enjoy an interaction or a relationship without being control freaks and rejecting everyone left and right just for the sake of rejecting?

I really don't understand this and this of course stops me from integrating all of my female components, even though I already am an emotional and sensitive guy.


??? Colors are my true nature ???

https://www.instagram.com/vibrant_awareness/    ???

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18 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

Thanks for the detailed response. Yes, I've read david deida, but I need to do it again since I don't remember much.

Yes, women like being validated because it's part of their social bonding instict. But the quoted part it's also a very corrupted part of this sexual nature. They want to always be in control of the situation and always be the ones who reject you and humiliate you. 
I really DON'T understand this about women. Why is it necessary to do that? Can't they just enjoy an interaction or a relationship without being control freaks and rejecting everyone left and right just for the sake of rejecting?

I really don't understand this and this of course stops me from integrating all of my female components, even though I already am an emotional and sensitive guy.

 

 this will open your eyes

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1 hour ago, Viking said:

 

 this will open your eyes

Ok, I've watched the video. It's very interesting and a deep deep topic.

Tyler is very good with women and I've followed him in several videos. He is also very attuned to female energy and can relate very well with them.

But in my humble opinion this video just reinforces my theory. When he approaches with weak intent the girls avoid him because he is not "cool", there's no validation in interacting with a nerdy introverted guy with no social skills. 
On the other hand when he's natural and smooth the girls can feel the high value coming from him and they want their share of validation in talking with him.

It's just like if you see brad pitt disguised as a homeless person. You don't want to talk to him.

But if you see him as himself you DO want to take a photo with him and talk.


??? Colors are my true nature ???

https://www.instagram.com/vibrant_awareness/    ???

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@billiesimon doesnt necessarily have to do with validation, it's just more fun to be with a fun guy, thats it. would you consider hanging out with people which are boring? maybe you're more openminded than most people but still, it doesnt necessarily have to be like that with women only.

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