Charlotte

I'm confused

39 posts in this topic

@Charlotte The dream is a facet of your own mind.

You are using these scenarios, emotions, stories, and thoughts to manipulate yourself towards "stuff" -- whatever the ego is after.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Charlotte if I may say something here...:)

Goes in this pattern...no-self (nothingness) --> everythingness --> transformation (Shinzen Young called this part: Riding the Ox Backwards) --> love (realm) --> ego

When it comes, you'll know. Until then, I would just continue working on something worthwhile to give to this world, such as a deep life purpose. Everything is interconnected and counts. Anything worth doing is like a meditation. 

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54 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

@Leo Gura fuck. How?

How can I contemplate this? (As in what specific questions can I ask)

To be clear, this is nothing against you, or particular to you. This is the entire dynamic of life: using stories, concepts, and emotions to manipulate yourself into staying alive. This is what survival is all about. So whether you have dreams or don't, you're doing it. Whether your thoughts and emotions are positive or negative, you're doing it. Even when you feel happy or excited, it's a subtle egoic manipulation. The ego has co-opted the entire experience of life and turned it into a means towards self-perpetuation.

Unraveling the inner workings of the ego-mind is a complex and tricky affair. A good place to start is to notice how every thought, every emotion, and every reaction you have, all day long, is somehow a subtle manipulation of yourself to act the way the devilish ego-mind wants. It takes a lot of patient observation of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions to start to see the full scope of what ego is doing. So start observing.

You can contemplate questions like:

  • Why do I have emotions at all? What is the point of them?
  • Why do I have thoughts at all? What is their purpose?
  • Why do I hold somethings as positive and others as negative? What is the point of positive and negative?
  • Why am I motivated to do the things I do? What is the point of motivation and why does it exist?
  • Why do I hold some things as meaningful while others not? What is the point of meaning? Why do I create it?

Of course the ego-mind will vehemently resist and deflect all such questioning. Your survival agenda does not want to be questioned.

Start looking at EVERYTHING that transpires in your experience of life as a deliberate egoic self-manipulation. Everything in your experience at all times is the ego trying to survive. This survival is not merely about physical life and death, it's extremely sophisticated. What's being survived in not a physical being, but a conceptual construct: the story of YOU.

You -- the ego -- is like a giant living story which is writing itself every minute of its life. Any interference with this writing is perceived as threatening and therefore demonized and rejected.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Leo Gurawell said! people so often attempt to turn the ego against themselves. It will always be there! Love it, learn from it, and eventually transcend it. Not done by choice, but through observation, insight and integration

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17 hours ago, Charlotte said:

The other night I had a dream. 

In the dream was a friend's father. He was dying in front of me. He told me to let go and I replied how? He said love. That was it. 

I've just been sat with said friend and we spontaneously got onto the topic of her past. She can't let go, she can't forgive etc. I explained how much I see her love within.

She is pure love... I explained. Half way through saying this it hit me in the face. I threw my hands up lent back and covered my eyes in realisation. I cried deeply in the middle of the coffee shop. I don't know why. It felt like a breakthrough. 

I honestly believe that this message in the dream was given to me by her father as a guide for her. 

The thing that's confusing me is the way it's left me feeling. 

You know if you have a breakthrough say... In counseling and you feel that type of 'raw' feeling. I feel like that and I have absolutely no idea why. It might be deep empathy I'm not sure. I'm quite confused. 

Shine any light please? ❤️

The rules of this forum. Forbid me from including, a divine aka supernatural influence, that may or may not exist. That if it did, it could transcend every boundary, you ever imagined. You must always hon, trust your intuition. but with a small measure of doubt. You are not unreasonable, to consider the possibilities. Although everyone around you, will deny you that right. Continue. the way your Heart shows you. :)

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@Leo Gura Incredibly interesting reply Leo thank you. I'll get started on the questions today. 

27 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Your survival agenda does not want to be questioned.

Yes. I feel the resistance. 

Your reply leo has left me feeling vulnerable (after some introspection). Everything I know and love is egoic...

Nature

Animals

Yoga

Spirituality and personal development...

All egoic survival mechanism's?

Fuck

@Enlightened thank you for your reply

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@Charlotte Fuck indeed. And don't forget the most important thing you know and love: yourself!

Nothing you know about yourself is real. It's all a costume. Even the idea that you were born, is a story. You were never physically born. You arose as the story of you. One day the thought appeared: "I was born" and because this thought was never questioned, it became the basis of your entire reality. Then to that core fiction you slowly added all the rest of that you think of as yourself and your persona. In childhood, in school you built up the story of yourself and the world.

Yes, fear, vulnerability, hurt, sadness... all of those are tools of the ego-mind to prevent self-reflection. It's okay to feel whatever feelings arise. But do notice, they are yet more manipulations. Manipulations on top of manipulations.

Consider, if all your manipulations stopped, you would cease to exist. Which would be enlightenment.

All this is a lot to stomach. Stay with it. It will be worth it in the end.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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31 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

 Consider, if all your manipulations stopped, you would cease to exist. Which when enlightenment occurs.

is there any way, i would be permitted to doubt, the creator of the website. without fear of retribution? Because I recognize an error. In one of your conclusions sir.

edited - ill go ahead and point it out then?

You presuppose here. That when one becomes enlightened, they become something, other than that which they can only ever be, human. it is not possible, within the confines of our mentality, for the 'machinations/manipulations' to cease entirely. They are always there. They can only Always be. Until you are no longer human. Which would not be possible. Within the realm of earthly science. I can only suggest, you're referring to the same Religion, you forbid us to speak of.

Enlightenment is real. It is a state of consciousness, achievable in a lifetime. Not discounting, the possibility, of an infinity of attempts, at previous lifetimes.

To suggest, it is unachievable, except by death, is a callous leap of faith. Not dissimilar, to religious faith.

it is nothing like death. it is Life. thrust on your shoulders. without you asking for it. it is tears, when your body, has no more hydration. it is horrible. and the most beautiful way to be.

Edited by Enlightened
enlightenment

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If something comes into ones experience in which all presupposed ideas,and/or beliefs that make up the story/identity of who and what "I am",(i.e ones sense of self), is shown to be false,would the losing of that sense of being an individual self-body identity, not feel like losing ones sense of self  to be a type of "death"?



 

Edited by who chit

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18 minutes ago, who chit said:

If something comes into ones experience in which all presupposed ideas,and/or beliefs that make up the story/identity of who and what "I am",(i.e ones sense of self), is shown to be false,would the losing of that sense of being an individual self-body identity, not feel like losing ones sense of self  to be a type of "death"?

yes. i think i can agree with you. even though i couldn't sense exactly, sorry, of what was meant. but the gist of it is enough for me to hazard an answer. I think, it could be useful, if i were writing mere poetry, to consider the loss of self, a death. but reader, death has become irrelevant to me, in this state. So, i can only discount it, when, i'm trying to get someone to see. only what they can never see. and only what i can never show you. the questions, must be more pointed. so that the answer, brings us all one step to closer. I appreciate you engaging me. this takes courage.



 

 

Edited by Enlightened

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Enlightened: yes. i think i can agree with you. even though i couldn't sense exactly, sorry, of what was meant. but the gist of it is enough for me to hazard an answer. I think, it could be useful, if i were writing mere poetry, to consider the loss of self, a death. but reader, death has become irrelevant to me, in this state. So, i can only discount it, when, i'm trying to get someone to see. only what they can never see. and only what i can never show you. the questions, must be more pointed. so that the answer, brings us all one step to closer. I appreciate you engaging me. this takes courage.

Not a question,but showing a perspective that may have been missed in interpreting Leo's "you cease to exist" to your interpretation of  it meaning "To suggest, it is unachievable, except by death," is a callous leap of faith" , as meaning actual physical death.
I took his meaning to be that in which I replied above. That one who has not awakened may "feel as if dying" when that sense of ones presupposed self that was always "known" to be "me/I", is shown to be false.

 

Edited by who chit

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1 hour ago, who chit said:

Not a question,but showing a perspective that may have been missed in interpreting Leo's "you cease to exist" to your interpretation of  it meaning "To suggest, it is unachievable, except by death," is a callous leap of faith" , as meaning actual physical death.
I took his meaning to be that in which I replied above. That one who has not awakened may "feel as if dying" when that sense of ones presupposed self that was always "known" to be "me/I", is shown to be false.

 

let me read your observation and the original quote again. i'm sorry.

Edited by Enlightened

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1 hour ago, who chit said:

Not a question,but showing a perspective that may have been missed in interpreting Leo's "you cease to exist" to your interpretation of  it meaning "To suggest, it is unachievable, except by death," is a callous leap of faith" , as meaning actual physical death.
I took his meaning to be that in which I replied above. That one who has not awakened may "feel as if dying" when that sense of ones presupposed self that was always "known" to be "me/I", is shown to be false.

 

"Consider, if all your manipulations stopped, you would cease to exist. Which would be enlightenment."

hm?

it seems, what i may have been pointing out. was that the mind, can never stop, being a human mind. you see. that was my only issue. but i am forced, to demonstrate, that even the phrasing of the entire sentence. only in a way, perhaps visible to me, which i doubt sincerely, i could construe, that the overall intent of that sentence is to suggest that one would need to become, something else, in order to become, an 'enlightened human being'.

And still, i see a gross error. not in the formulating of that possibility. because, in a delusion, different than mine. what is claimed here, only in this one sentence, is always a possibility. In this sentence used to close the writers thoughts altogether. there seems a certainty. which ought not to be there. this could easily misdirect, someone seeking their individual truth. do you see now. why I have to intervene?

Edited by Enlightened

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23 hours ago, Charlotte said:

The other night I had a dream. 

In the dream was a friend's father. He was dying in front of me. He told me to let go and I replied how? He said love. That was it. 

I've just been sat with said friend and we spontaneously got onto the topic of her past. She can't let go, she can't forgive etc. I explained how much I see her love within.

She is pure love... I explained. Half way through saying this it hit me in the face. I threw my hands up lent back and covered my eyes in realisation. I cried deeply in the middle of the coffee shop. I don't know why. It felt like a breakthrough. 

I honestly believe that this message in the dream was given to me by her father as a guide for her. 

The thing that's confusing me is the way it's left me feeling. 

You know if you have a breakthrough say... In counseling and you feel that type of 'raw' feeling. I feel like that and I have absolutely no idea why. It might be deep empathy I'm not sure. I'm quite confused. 

Shine any light please? ❤️

Sometimes things like this peel away the shell of our old ideas and beliefs (which are can be looked at as a covering of our deeper energetic love makeup), when this happens we feel raw and open/vulnerable which interestingly enough is accurate to whats happening, like a wound thats exposed in flesh, it feels raw and vulnerable. 

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@Leo Gura Cheers Leo. (Sorry about late reply lost my reading glasses ?)

Yes a lot to stomach indeed. I've been observing as of yesterday and I've noticed that actually do create meaning to everything. Hit me when a song was on and I cried... I realised the song wasn't doing anything at all, it's sound... I was. This set off a snowballing pattern of observation to everything. Not gonna lie, I've felt pretty shit today because I've realised nothing has meaning, the self projects it all. 

On 20/01/2019 at 2:35 PM, Mu_ said:

like a wound thats exposed in flesh, it feels raw and vulnerable. 

Exactly what it felt like. 

@Vinnie Oh I'll take a look... Thank you!

Thank you everyone that replied ❤️

 

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