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About Samra

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  1. @now is forever yes.they are the same. I just don't experience it that way yet.
  2. I can't relate easily to nothingness. Void however I have experienced. Void is infinite and bottomless, and goes both ways. Void engulfs, but also is engulfed. I know I am made of voidness. Would you say void and nothingness are one and same thing?
  3. I do intermittent fasting 5 days a week from 7 pm to 11 am. But if I feel like I have to eat before 11, I will. So that's around 16 hours. Plus I go to gym at 7 30 am for about an hour. My libido is very low compared to my twenties, but I don't think that has to do with fasting. I used to date a lot more sexually active men than I do know. I'm just not bothered with sex anymore. I enjoy much more subtle things now. My period is super irregular, but that has always been the case. I like fasting. I think it works fine for me. Just listen to your body if it needs food.
  4. I feel you. I've been there. I finished university when I was 24. By then I was totally broke. Broke and 40k in debt. I couldn't find any jobs with my art degree. i was so mediocre. I was doing full time internships with no pay, and paying for food with my credit card. I worked part time in school cafeterias. I lived in the corner of my sister's living room for two years. I was depressed, I couldn't afford hanging out with anyone. This lasted for around 3 years, right at the peak of my youthful energy. I am 32 now, and live aboard as professional artist. How? I just didn't give up. Just keep cracking at it, no matter what. It will work. Be patient, and cut of extra expenses out of your life. Your time is now. You can afford making mistakes and changing course. So do it. Experiment. It's alright if it doesn't work out at first. Change tactics. It's worth it at the end
  5. @Charlotte I did it at home! My own ceremony came up with my own rituals. Practiced some self taught Shamanism :)))) but if you want a support group, sign up to this newsletter : psychedelic Society London. You will get emails about their events and retreats. <3
  6. @Charlotte hey darling. You mean the Ayahuasca ceremonies? One I have found online, another through a friend. If you want more info, message me
  7. i wouldn't. I have attended couple of Ayahuasca ceremonies with Shamans. Couple of nights ago, i had a home Ceremony with Magic truffles with a friend who is more experienced than me. It was my first time with Mushrooms, so I only did around 3 grams, which is equivalent to 1 gram of Golden Teacher Mushroom i think. So it was a light does. Even though i am not a complete novice, It was still very tough. I had to deal with a lot of pain and anxiety. I ended up having a lot of insights about Compassion, love, surrender, depression, oneness, relation of Pain to creativity and productivity, life as infinite number of trips, ... Mushroom are way more cleaner than Ayahuasca, especially on the body, at least for me. Ayahuasca is a Tough teacher, so the lesson you learn are deeper. Mushroom is a sweetheart in comparison. That being said, mushroom can be tough as well and can take you for a hell of a ride. So you don't need to start with a high dose. You can still learn so much from low dosage. I wouldn't even do it alone for the first times. But it's up to you. Its your journey
  8. I have experienced this effect once. There is this teacher called John D.R. and I was attending his three day meditation retreat in Dorset. And like many spriritual teachers, he was sitting in front of the room, while the audience sit in front of him, on chairs or on the floor. He was super still. Like a mountain. He also talked super slowly, and with the most limited movement. He had a very special energy about him, and crazy blue eyes. An hour into the sitting, while staring at him talk with questioners, I started hallucinating. He started to melt and fuse with the space and the background. Also, his face started to shape shift into different faces. I was sober, super clear, and awake. And none of this creep me out or anything. It was the most natural thing ever. I asked my friend if she is witnessing anything, and she said no. So not sure what it was about! But it looked like that consciousness painting effect. Except in slow motion and less colorful.
  9. I've been into self development work for 5 years now. And i've been studying Leo's research and teachings for 2 years. But this latest video about bullshitting animal brought it all home for me. I am so fake that even when posting things in this forum i cannot be totally honest. I have a huge facade. And it's been there forever. And that's why I can't be authentic. Cause I only know one way to survive, and that's through lying. Constant facade. Constant acting. I'm an amazing actor. And the scary thing is, that I don't know how to be honest and truthful. So Thank you @Leo Gura, for holding up a mirror. It was not a pretty sight. But it's better to look now than never.
  10. Love and Respect to you for your passion and hard work <3
  11. @billiesimon Thanks for being honest and open yourself. I hope your heart heals fast <3 1. What I said was general. I think you are already doing the work. This inquiry shows your deep interest and good heart. So you are already much stronger than you think. Life will throw things at you, and you will learn to handle it. Just be honest, loving and forgiving with yourself. 2. Yes. Having friends are always great. Especially of the opposing gender. Just remember to have your own judgment check, and be aware of other people's bitterness. Also refer that you and your friends are all very young. So be aware of levels of emotional maturity, which can be earned by age and experience. Girl friends are super supportive, sometimes too supportive. But let your girl friend healing feminine energy help you. 3. Because matters of the heart are fucking complicated. Break up with a loved one is hard. No matter how peaceful it looks. It's confusing. Physically challenging. Emotionally exhausting.... So you hide all of that, if you can. And most women are very good at that.
  12. 1. Women are stronger emotionally, because they need to be, both culturally and evolutionary.. That might seem like they have moved on faster. But that's not the case. To most men who don't know what to do with their feeling of hurt it might seem that way. 2. Women generally have closer emotional support from other women. So they learn from each other, also they embrace each other's pain. That makes them stronger, so they can hide their feelings to the rest of the world. 3. Women are caution about showing too much emotion, especially to their ex. That makes them look hysterical, or clingy. So they pretend that they have moved on. 4. Women might replace one relationship with another quite fast ( same with men ) but if a woman is in love, no amount of sex will replace that for her. Only time will heal things. And new love. Women don't move on faster. But we are better in handling the emotional heart breaks in the long term.
  13. I am the universe. Or a part of it. So all the emotions and feelings I have ever experienced the infinite existence has also experienced, and much more, to infinity and beyond. So the question is , if I have a preference to a certain emotion ( for instance joy over anger ) or I prefer certain energy ( for instance, red, expanding over blue contracting) does it mean the universe has similar preference? Does it really feel hurt or joy? And prefers one to the other? If not, and my ego and my fear of destruction is the reason why I have this sort of preference, then why can't we understand and communicate with each other? Why am I designed in a way that contradicts the rest of me? Is this contradiction a necessity for a pulsation mechanism? What does it want?