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  1. Maybe it is more intense in a gathering due to the collective release?
  2. An alternative to a restraining order is a police warning. I recently had a problem with stallking / harrasment and didnt want to go down the same route. But a verbal warning from the police telling him to not contact you in any form whatsoever, should do the trick. If he then continues, then he has commited a crime and you can get a restraining order
  3. Has anyone got any strategies for managing this? Thank you
  4. I would say a degree in psychotherapy, which is what I am doing. It is basically all personal development mixed with philosophy /pyschology.
  5. Just want to say I completely relate and have similar limiting beliefs. I agree, they are an absolute bugger to shift! As @Nahm said, all you can do is keep reaching for better thoughts / better feelings states. Believe as much as you can that you will overcome this. And take the pressure off 'results'.... just in every moment, notice where your thoughts are try to reach for something just a tiny bit better. Also, get moving, get creating, get out and about. Push yourself out your comfort zone every day, this will build your self esteem. Good luck and feel free to chat to me whenever. I feel for you.
  6. I wouldnt just blame it all on PMS. It seems like you are invalidating her but what she feels is what she feels, whether you approve or understand it or not. PMS may be causing these feelings, but they are as true to her as the sky is blue. Perhaps you can think of how you can actively help her during these times? To reduce the intensity? I find I always need plenty alone time, I need to not be left hungry, plenty of sleep, and gentle calmness (just like a baby really) Try to listen to her needs just for those few days, this will seep into your relationship in general and make you a stronger couple. And also, if she gets too much then respect your boundaries and take yourself away, for a walk or drive. That should be fine. I think during tense moments, space is key!
  7. @Twega Interesting - is there a particular brand you can recommend ?
  8. @flowboy Very inspiring advice! I have stocked the cupboard with cordial and fizzy water and herbal teas.. I've also conviced myself I have strong mind! So.... fingers crossed! Sadly. I have been working on my personal growth for years and whilst other areas of my life are strong, this is my pathetic area. I also see a therapist fortnightly as well as training to be a counsellor! So I can't escape it. Thank you.
  9. Last night I drank about 1/4 of a glass of wine and tonight I will attempt nothing. I am looking forward to the challenge. I noticed when I was in bed I found it so hard to get to sleep due to being ultra aware! I was aware of all the blood pulsating round my body in every vein, it felt as though I had taken acid or something. It took a very, very long time to switch off and I had a fretful night. @Nahm Spot on!
  10. @Human Mint @hamedsf @Eph75 @Leo Gura @Danioover9000 @ZenBlue @Tim R @Enlightenment @SQAAD @Ghost @eggopm3 @QandC @Waken @Inliytened1 I just wan to sincerely thank you all for your deep felt honest answers. Honestly, i think a part of me has been crying out for someone to be blunt with me like this. To spells things out. i will do my very best to cut down and / or illiminate. I know I can do it... I just needed a slap with a cold fish. So thank you all.
  11. I appreciate this question, however, heroin clearly has detremental effects which cause one's life / health / mind / soul to be destroyed. The cost far outweighs the benefits. However, with alchohol, I cannot see how my life is worse from drinking it, apart from the fact that others tell me it is bad. I can only see that it makes me feel good in the evening. And therefore I feel guilty, whcih is the negative, because I am told 'it's an addiction, escapism.. etc' I dont have hangovers, I dont lost productivity, I am slim, I excersize a lot, I socialise, I work hard! I work on myself spiritually and emotionally. However, I have many friends who dont drink who are far worse health wise. Hmmmm...
  12. If alchohol is a poison, a desensensitiser 'the killer of soul'............. then why? When I dirnk just a few glasses of wine in the evening. Do I feel kinder, happier, more energetic and free spirited? Why if it is so bad, am I able to process my day and come to deeper truths? I am wondering all this because i feel guilty every time I drink, as if I am some sort of addict. But if it makes me feel better and doesnt harm anyone, is there a reason to cut it out? All opinions welcome.
  13. For some reason this makes me cringe so HARD!
  14. @Charlotte Thanks !! I have this so will read it next xxx
  15. @Vzdoh I dont think this is the case at all. He is not like that as a person, at all. Which is why I was curious. I think I can see what he was trying to say, And that is that sometimes, it is more helpful to not spell things out to people. That is just my intrepetation of where he was coming from. I can translate what I think he meant and @Nahm can virtual kick me if I am wrong if that is helpful?