Seed

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  1. Soothing Wings 💗 Soothing wings of festive sparkle and lights. My trust in your return, as sure as the closing of night. Remembering a wisdom, soft whispers in my ear. Predictably prompting.. have I been good this year? My heart tells me I’ve not and shows me why. But she forgives, she understands, and she helps me to cry. My mistakes are messages, a path I know so well A trail towards the gaping hole, I endlessly fell. I have never known anyone see through my flaws, Insisting I am good inside, right down to my core. I can’t see what she sees, but she’s sure I am okay. She knows I don’t believe her, only that I will, one day. This heart flows like water, of infinite form, Entwining threads of relationship, never to be torn. I am not falling anymore, my falling has been found. My heart is called Annie, she is my ground.
  2. Yes - I definately prefer 'that was sweet' But I rarely get told that, mostly.... 'you are so sweet...'
  3. @Rilles Wow. Really great excersize to try! I will do it now. Thank you.
  4. I have this niggling, ridiculous problem and that is when people refer to me as sweet.... 'that was very sweet'..... 'you are such a sweet person' 'you're so adorable' etc I get very insulted. One of my, very new friends refers to me as her pixie fairy, which she means as a compliment, but it drives me up the wall. And it seems to happen ALL THE TIME! I find it extremely patronising and disempowering. Even though the people who are saying it, are saying it as a compliment. I still can't stand it when it happens and it gets me down. I understand that the issue is within me and I need to work out how to not let it get to me. Not care..... I realise it is a petty thing to get upset about. So therefore, is the solution to not get so attached to labels? Or should I work on being less sweet, seeing as the adjective offends me so much. I could also bring it up with them, but that won't stop it from happening, as new people will say it. And the damage is already done. Unless i change my core personality. I suppose the issue is here (and yes, I am half talking to myself) What is my deep rooted issue with being called sweet?!? How can I accept this part of me? Is it reallly such an awful thing? Thanks is advance for any suggestion on how to either not care, or reframe the phrase.
  5. I have a big issue. Basically - the more 'chill'.... 'aware' and 'grounded' I am in the day time... e.g letting my feelings go, meditating, keeping to a routine. not overthinking.. then the less I sleep at night. On the days where I am at my peak in terms of clarity - the more I writh around in bed, like I am possesed by a growly bear. I have tried meditating before bed and to get back to sleep, but this just makes me worse. I have found the only way to deal with it, is to just accept it. But it isn't nice and I tend to wake up very unsettled and agitated. The following day is then spent intergating back into the physical world, regulating my emotions... excersize, yoga, work etc. So I do calm down eventually. But the more I do so, the more adrenalised I will be when it is time to sleep. I lie there and have the biggest adrenaline rushes. It is like I am about to drop from the top of a rollercoaster and my guts are churning with excitment and fear! Though I have nothing to be excited or fearful of !?! I really do enjoy my sleep and would love to find a way to sleep. PS. When I do sleep, which I do in small chunks, depending on how 'good' the day was (the better the day, the worse the night). When I do sleep, I am fully aware during my dreams.... so the dreams happen but there is this voice or knowing or energy, I can't really describe it, that tells me to 'let go' all night long. This is an ongoing awareness. So even when I am asleep, I am still partially concious. Anyone else have similar issues or have any advice? Thanks! :-)
  6. Sounds like he's had a tough time! I feel for him.
  7. @Unseeking Seeker thank you. Is it okay - do you think to explore other forms of yoga ? Just for fun and peace of mind ?
  8. Fab thak you! Any views on hatha yoga? I just tried that one. It was pleasant, but nothing like the kundalini!
  9. Hi @Girzo I don't want enlightment, particuarly - I am not there yet - I just want to feel better and more grounded and confident in my own skin. I often have periods of anxiety and self doubt and flat energy. I've also just had a very turbulent year (emotionally), so looking for alternative ways to make positive life changes, grow and express myself. My self esteem has taken a battering recently so looking to improve that too, I am aware there is no point running untilI can walk...
  10. Thanks everyone... This is what puts me off!! https://isha.sadhguru.org/yoga/yoga-articles-yoga/kundalini-yoga-beneficial-or-dangerous/ He also mentions in this article that all forms of yoga are dangerous apart from this Upa Yoga...?! https://isha.sadhguru.org/global/en/wisdom/article/beginners-guide-to-learning-yoga Obviously, I am keen to get going. And feel drawn to the kundalini, but knowing my tendancies and the year I have had, I am probably not grounded enough for such an extreme release of energy, if that is what it does.. Although I have always felt I have something trapped inside of me for a long time which is why I get run down and repressed.
  11. Thanks @CultivateLove and how’s the gradual approach holding up ? so you went all in with no prior experience of energy work / yoga ? do you work with a teacher or just online ? xx
  12. By tuning my awareness away from my mind and onto what is. My body, my surroundings, my feelings. Etc 😊 were always connected. We just become distracted from it...