eskwire

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Posts posted by eskwire

  2. Posted

    On 9/9/2017 at 5:04 PM, Captain Flint said:

    @Gabriel Antonio Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

    1. What do you think about contrast showers? Like: hot -> a bit cold -> warm -> very cold -> warmer -> most cold you can get from your shower. 
    2. About your technique - were you allowed to take warm shower immediatly AFTER cold shower? Or it kind of ruins whole story?

    I'm afraid I already know your awnser: "just jump in 100% cold, and jump out into towel"...
    I just won't survive that, LOL.

    It's really not that bad or that big of a deal. People talk about it like you're jumping out of a plane into the sea.

    My first one was exhilarating and I felt an incredible reduction in inflammation in my head. Something I had longed for - I struggle with inflammation due to allergies to Earth. After taking a few dozen, it's not anything I flinch about except......

    It is absolutely true that your back is the most shocking part and I have been wondering why! @Gabriel Antonio Do you know?

  3. Posted

    @Gustav You are thinking black and white thoughts about speed reading. I have looked into various speed reading methods - the one I liked the best would be considered speed reading because the word intake was certainly faster; however, by the end of the technique, I would have reviewed/read the material 4 times. This deepens comprehension and engagement in processing the material significantly (for me). 

    6 hours ago, Gustav said:

    The result was that my normal reading got seriously damaged because I was now conscious of all the mechanics of speed-reading, and how I was not doing them. I was left being able to read neither at higher speeds nor my normal speed (without more frustration than before).

    I don't have this issue. If I read at a leisurely pace in a linear fashion, thoughts about reading some other way don't pop up. You said you used to beat yourself up about reading slowly. You have some sort of personal hang up about this. Were you shamed about how you read? 

  5. Posted · Edited by eskwire

    I have recently gotten into Bradshaw's work on the "inner child," which has been more immediately transformative than a lot of what I've dabbled in psychologically and spiritually. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family (absent parent, addict parent, emotional/physical/sexual abuse), I highly recommend you look into this realm of psychology. 

    Quick background on my childhood: Alcoholic father who went to rehab and dominated it when I was 16 (so 16 years of total insanity in my home, proud of his recovery). Suicidal mother (an attempt every few years, stopped by a random intervening force she wasn't expecting each time).

    Major Traumatic Events: 1. Attempted sexual assault at age 10 by my father, who was so drunk I believe he thought I was my mother while napping in their bed. I fought him off and no one spoke of it again. The rest of the family doesn't know about it - I don't think he remembers it. 2. Father broke into our home with a shotgun and threatened to kill us all while separated from my mother. We ran to the neighbors' in the middle of the night. 3. Some physical violence events. 4. Mother's suicide attempts, hospitalizations, escape from hospital on Christmas.

    Daily Trauma in the Home: Having to be quiet and not-annoying, parental screaming, anger, crying mother, being blamed for parental discord and separations, etc etc. Usual chaos in an alcoholic home.

    Inner child work operates on the premise that you were not nurtured and provided for appropriately at your various developmental stages. The energy of need is trapped physically and emotionally. The loss must be re-experienced, grieved, and another healthy adult must provide the nourishment (you, now).

    Effects of a fucked up inner child are addictions, dysfunctional romantic relationships, lack of self worth, neuroses of all shapes and sizes.

    Healing Techniques: Looking at photos of yourself as a child, writing letters to and from yourself as a baby/child (using your non-dominant hand to write as your inner child), guided meditations, group work.

    I haven't done a lot of work yet. I have written to and from myself as a baby and a child. I have looked at pictures of myself and imagined holding myself. 

    Two Experiences of Note:

    1. I listened to a hypnosis session on "Letting Go of Past Relationships" that I have listened to several times before with no real benefit. This time, I listened to it and imagined myself as a baby doing the hypnosis instructions - my adult self held the baby in the imagery. I noticed instant results and no longer felt the pangs and desperation of wanting to reach out to an ex boyfriend I have struggled to get over for a year.

    2. After this hypnosis, I simply imagined my adult self holding, playing with, and kissing my baby self. This is the trip report. I have never felt so completely consumed by the feeling of love. I did this for perhaps 2 hours because I did not want to stop. It felt so good - it was a feeling of simultaneously giving and receiving a gigantic reservoir of love. 

    I am reading more about family dynamics in dysfunctional families. I have learned that I was what is called the "lost child" - this is the one who stays quiet, stays in the bedroom, daydreams to escape, focuses on something else in life like school, people pleases, doesn't ask for or express anything out of fear, and ends up in codependent relationships as an adult. 

    I will continue my work in this realm because I have already experienced big shifts. I wonder where the fuck my therapist has been at all this time, not telling me about any of this, but recommending Byron Katie so I could further shove my needs and feelings off to the side - an already unhealthy manifestation in the "lost child."

    Again, if you grew up in a dysfunctional home, look into actual psychological healing through these methods in addition to your other work. 

  6. Posted

    @PetarKa I recently got back into this. It was lost and forgotten for a while and, when it is remembered, it sets a better track.

    In the end, Leo makes a point that raising your own consciousness is a means to another end - to contribution - and maybe also not. Because if you are enough of a vessel, God should be doing its thing whether or not you are hustling for a contribution.

    It can be seen that what is happening now is perfectly beautiful as it is. The project is taking off the blindfold.

    I contribute angrily all the time. "I'm such a giver grumble grumble grumble." Take out the grumbles and I'm contributing. Boom.

    @Leo Gura You mention caves and cabins in the woods. I've lived relatively isolated in the woods for a couple of years. I did a lot better this way and, once reintroduced to society, fell back into depression and anxiety quickly. Is there a further benefit to a cave or is this for literary effect? 

  10. Posted

    @Noname There are some concepts and practices in psych that are about watching thoughts and modifying them. This is completely in alignment with spiritual work.

    Of course, psychologists are behind on a lot of this. My therapist used the word "ego" from time to time. When i asked her to explain what it is to me, she couldn't. 

    Like, they aren't mutually exclusive, they just don't get to play together as much as they should. You could help them play together so, in the future, a therapist could define such a word with some confidence. 

  13. Posted

    On 6/22/2017 at 5:06 PM, TeamBills said:

    Let's get some more personality tests!

    I learned about this one in school.

    https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/

     

    Open Mindedness: 43/100

    High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.

     

    Conscientiousness: 0/100

    High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.

     

    Extraversion: 1/100

    High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.

     

    Agreeableness: 0/100

            High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.

     

    Negative Emotionality: 100/100

            High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.

     

     

     

     

    Wow these results scared the crap out of me. I thought I was getting better and seeing results. Not much better but at least something!

     

     

     

     

    These results are jarring. What does your life look like?

  16. Posted

    @Mrkvn8 Firstly, I love this question because, as a sensation seeking person, this has been difficult for me in my still lower stages of development and maturity.

    Honestly, I want to get super drunk, fall in love, and listen to blaringly loud music with people I barely know. The routines and sobriety required for self-actualization are suffocating and depressing at times. 

    Hikes, river rafting, and planning solo road trips seem like the most fun I will have. Of course, enlightenment experiences are fantastic and satisfy the urges of the sensation seeker. 

    We can say we need to enjoy being still, but....come on. 

    Motorcycle?

  17. Posted

    Cognitive Style - Intellectual

    Organizational Style - Flexible

    Energy Style - Extraverted

    Stress Management - Reactive

    Interpersonal Style - Collaborative

    Imagination - High

    Artistic Interets - About Average

    Emotionality - High

    Adventurousness - High

    Intellectual Interests - High

    Liberalism - High

    Self-Efficacy - Low

    Orderliness - Low

    Dutifulness - High

    Achievement-Striving - About Average

    Cautiousness - Low

    Friendliness - High

    Gregariousness - About Average

    Assertiveness - High

    Activity Level - High

    Excitement-Seeking - High

    Cheerfulness - About Average

    Anxiety - High

    Anger- High

    Depression - High

    Self-Consciousness - Low 

    Immoderation - High

    Vulnerability - High

    Trust - High

    Honesty - About Average

    Altruism - About Average

    Cooperation - Low

    Modesty - About Average

    Sympathy - Low

    So....crazy bitch, at your service. :)

  21. Posted

    On 6/9/2017 at 7:55 PM, Jordan wang said:

    @eskwire Umm, why don't the people at new york talk to each other? be polite and kind? 

    Does this make sense? Can you explain it further?

    There are too many people around to say "excuse me" or "how's it going" or "crazy weather, huh" to everyone. You would be overwhelmed having to speak and respond so often. Sometimes, blabbing a nicety at someone is not kind or polite - it's just intrusive. Not speaking is a way to give each other some space when there is no space.

  23. Posted

    2 hours ago, sheenp24 said:

    @SFRL I would like to walk to the places that I need to go. Walking is healthy! I live in a very rural type area so I can't walk to many of the places that I have to go. I can walk but by the time I reach my destination, ill be drenched in sweat because everything is so spread out here. 

    Same. I miss being able to walk. I used to live in San Diego with no car and walked everywhere. 

  25. Posted

    On 5/28/2017 at 3:56 PM, eskwire said:

    1. Pills for Vit D don't work very well, even crazy megadoses prescribed by a doctor

    @Annetta I should qualify this statement.

    Vit D pills most likely don't work well in people with compromised guts. If you have an autoimmune condition, you have a compromised gut. You don't absorb nutrients well, so you will have a hard time overcoming a deficiency through food and pills.

    I would get as many sublingual form vitamins as I can. That's like mainlining it into your blood.

    @sheenp24 and @Dan Arnautu appear to be healthy young men, so they don't have an issue absorbing vitamins through food and supplement pills. It's always about the environment - what are you starting with?

    With any autoimmune condition, you have a different environment and anything you do needs to take that into consideration. Be careful with advice on the forum that is not couched in terms of autoimmunity problems. 

    I would get Vit D-3 ASAP. Please don't wait on it.