Dan Arnautu

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About Dan Arnautu

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  • Birthday 08/20/1997

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    Romania, Bucharest
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    Male

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  1. @BjarkeT @okulele @Joseph Maynor Thanks for the recommendations. I'm gonna look into them.
  2. @Max_V @cetus56 Yeah, I've observed that for me it's much easier to meditate with music in the background. Sometimes I match my breath to the rythm and that brings me to a real sense of calm and deep awareness. So yeah, it may be that sound is my "portal". But again, music may ultimately be my life purpose medium, so it should be of no surprise.
  3. @Leo Gura Do you go out with friends often? Are you spending 90% of your time at home, doing work?
  4. @AlwaysBeNice When it comes to the theory and questioning the nature of reality, the self, society, religions etc., no, I'm not a beginner. When it comes to taming the mind, yes. I may know a lot about philosophy, psychology, spirituality and meditation, but when it comes to the actual practice, I'm just a newbie with advanced concepts that scare the ego mind. Haven't meditated that much in reality, and my sessions are usually short, because that's what I can currently handle. Had short glimpses of nothingness many times, and they were only scary as fuck, not blissful. Had many experiences, but I wasn't chasing them. It's like they were chasing me. I made the most progress and felt the most stable when I didn't know anything about spirituality and I was just meditating, observing my thoughts and getting into peaceful states. Also, the samadhi states I was getting into weren't scaring me. They were just intriguing at the time. Now, with all the conceptual knowledge I had gathered, I feel as though my mind is on guard 24/7.
  5. So, I ain't into pursuing enlightenment right now (because I'm in a period of major transition in me life, switching from college to the work force soon + still not being clear on my life purpose). I am studying the theory though (reading books, listening to teachers etc.), doing hatha yoga 3-4 times a week for one hour (which helps me improve my flexibility and breathing for my strength training, plus helping me release blockages) and also meditating for 10 minutes and releasing emotions with the sedona method. I have a history of panic disorder, as in getting frequent panic attacks, which I've managed and tamed in the past 2 years. But still, when i go involuntarily into self-inquiry, it usually causes me to panic and make my mind fearful, to the point of a panic attack. I've experienced major backlashes from it and I feel the need to learn to manage my "negative" emotions and detach from thoughts better before I can go further. I remember that Leo once said that the average person needs years of meditation before the mind is calm enough to do 5 minutes of self inquiry. Similarly, Sadhguru said that without a certain level of stability/equanimity in the system and preparatory practice, most people can go crazy from the intermediate-advanced techniques. He used the analogy of: you can't build a skyscraper without a very stable base, which is one I am inclined to agree with (both from reason and personal experience). I feel the need to dial the whole spiritual thing back for a while because I feel very ungrounded, but I still want to keep a practice in place which will help me with my emotions, especially fear in the long term. Should I stick to a practice of 10 minutes. mindfulness meditation (this is currently the sweetspot for me - I've tried 20 and 30 but I've noticed that my mind is still too rampant for that and it fights back hard), the 1h hatha yoga 3-4x a week and releasing emotions with the sedona method, or do you suggest something else? @Leo Gura Would love your thoughts on this.
  6. @iyfe There should be some nuance here. Very often, when you achieve a certain level of mastery and when you have been trained under great mentors for a long period of time, you will gain a confidence that VERY VERY often can be mistaken for cockiness, ego and arrogance. Truth is that more often than not, it is very tiring to reiterate at every single seminar the fact that they did all the mistakes that can be done in the field, to provide analogies and all of that. If they could, they would just tell you what to do without any type of persuading, argument etc because they know that their teachings work. But they know that it can't be done like that (at least all the time), because people will start to consider them arrogant, cocky, self-righteouss etc. So if they seem self-righeouss, in some cases it may be true (they are human after all), and in others they are just too tired/bored/fed up with giving all the arguments and personal analogies.
  7. 1. I suggest you plan a gradual detachment from those. You can't tackle all of them at once effectively. Start with social media. Restrict usage for one hour a day (which should be plenty for school). There are great apps for that, including ColdTurkey for desktop. Turn off all notifications from apps, except SMS. If there is an emergency, people will have access to you through SMS, but there is no reason to check instagram and facebook chat 10 times a day. Check you social media notifications and chat messages once in the morning and once at night by opening the apps (as you won't receive notifications) I was able to quit video games entirely by making a hard/cold switch to a Macbook. I used to play even 10-12 hours a day on some days and I figured this isn't worth it in the long run. So I assessed my priorities and pulled the trigger. No need to quit if you don't have anything to play the games on, hehe. For you, such a radical decision may not be ideal. But only you know. I don't know you, so I can only tell you what worked for me. If this works for you also, great. Alternatively, you can start to substitute video games with something else that gives you the same reward. Filler activities can include, but are not limited to: Meditation Journaling Reading nonfiction books Doing courses Researching Picking up a skill/hobby to work on Self-Hypnosis Having deep conversations with people Contemplating Exercising Signing up for different classes etc. Just see what floats your boat 2. Start small. You don't need to do 1h-2h spiritual practices if you are not ready. Consistency wins every single time. Start with 10 minutes, and once that's comfortable, bump up the assigned time again and again. This is not a sprint. I remember when I first forced myself to meditate for 30 minutes everyday, when my addicted mind's sweet spot was about 10 minutes at the time. It was grueling. I dialed the time back to 10 minutes, and once that amount assigned time became comfortable, I bumped it up to 15 min and then to 20, and so on. 3. I don't know who Steve Pavlina is. Hope I've been of help. Let me know if you have any other questions. Good luck, Torkys!
  8. @Dinesh Karki It depends on what problem you have or what you want to work on. There is no one size fits all solution. If you just want a very general starting point that is gonna point you in the right direction, start with these three books: Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey Let me know if you have any other question. Good luck!
  9. @Max_V Maybe the book Deep Work by Cal Newport would be a god send and help you with the ADD. The whole book is about building concentration and clarity when you work. Btw, I'm curious, what are your top 5 strengths?
  10. The element that's missing is the most important one. All the things you set up in your life are amazing and will pay very big dividents in the future, but without the life purpose (or more precisely your 4 hour zone of genius every day) you're gonna get unmotivated from lack of REAL progress in your life. I say "REAL progress" because the fruits of your zone of genius will be much more evident than those from all of the other things you do combined. Maybe 10x that. So, figure out the skill you need to master, (once you have your life purpose) and do that for 4 hours a day. All the other things are just great accesories that will support your purpose.
  11. @NoSelfSelf Leo already covered how to do proper research. Just follow the guidelines in the video. He also emphasizes the traps.
  12. @NoSelfSelf I suggest you avoid the trap of black and white thinking. Each perspective is incomplete so therefore you have to study dozens of them and apply your own reason to figure out the subtle nuances. It's very easy to start to take information on faith because you are starting to like a specific author or researcher or whatever. Just because for example David Deida's books may be 80-90% accurate, it doesn't mean that he isn't prone to error or that he doesn't hold specific unquestioned assumptions. You take the information, analyze it in relation to your past and current experiences, and IDEALLY, you go out and find out for yourself if the info you read on is accurate or not. Also, check in with your intuition every once in a while.
  13. @Raphael Whichever you prefer. But keep in mind that if you do them only after reading the book, there is a high chance that you will procrastinate. So making yourself do the exercises before going further with the book is a good way to not procrastinate. Alternatively, you can do them in the order of importance to you. Like, temporarily skipping the ones from the pillars that you handle well and doing the ones you are the weakest at first.
  14. Ok. I see. Well, it's great that you are willing to change your approach. I don't know which PUA's you follow, but I can recommend you "The Natural by RSD Max", if you have the money. A little bit on the expensive side, but it's totally worth it in my opinion. You will learn how to have "natural game", not needing to put up a face when you go out trying to do pickup. It will just flow. Also, if you said you are looking for the ideal girlfriend, just like I said, making a list with the ideal qualities in a woman is key. I suggest you do the exercise at page 84 from the "How to be a 3% Man" book. You can actually find it for free here (https://www.scribd.com/doc/33421576/How-To-Be-A-3-Man) or on his website. It will take you just a few minutes and it's pretty fun to do actually. And it's funny because you will start to see those types of girls instantly and they will be more attracted to you because women are attracted to men that know exactly what they want. And as you will have the list in your mind, you will know exactly what you want. Good luck, man!
  15. @kieranperez Yeah, I answered your question there. You have the time stamps in the description.