Yoremo

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Posts posted by Yoremo

  1. Posted

    Hey, so I am meditating atleast 30 min a day, and 2 hours on saturday and sunday. I just did this meditation: 

    And I am a bit cautious about going for enlightenment or anything since I am only 17 and I don´t want that. And during this meditation and other sessions done by myself I usually start up with not feeling my body (hands, feet, arms etc.) But a few times I have lost identification with my head and it felt like my head whooshed through space. 

    The thing is that I haven´t gotten much results from meditation (what I am mainly "seeking" is more control of my mind and being able to choose where to focus instead of getting stuck, aswell as the effortless focus along with some other things). I am wondering if I am doing this wrong if I am only wanting more "self help results" with meditation rather than enlightenment. I don´t know but I have felt repellent from enlightenment as I have heard of how it can go wrong. But with the goal of becoming more developed is this approach (doing meditation) the right way to go?

    Btw, feel free to send me any resources that can maybe help me to atleast understand a bit more what people mean when they talk about enlightenment.

    Also, maybe I have done meditation wrong in the past? When I did the one above today I actually felt loving and more aware and all of these positive things just instantaneously after the session, whereas I usually just feel a bit numb in my body if I do it on my own. What do ya think?

     

  5. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    4 hours ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

    Sometimes, bad sleep can't be fixed through a better general lifestyle only, because the main reason for it is acute stress, irritation - a very active egoic mind in pain. If this is so, maybe these aids help:

    • Moon milk before sleep: Ashwagandha, Tumeric, Cinnamon, Coconut Oil, Honey in plant milk (cook for 5 minutes) take 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of ashwagandha. 
    • Magnesium before sleep: Take 400mg
    • Exercise 
    • Listen to nature sounds (seriously, this is so helpful to calm the whole nervous system)

    And, most importantly: Allow yourself to dive into the emotional pain you're feeling. Yes, it will get intense, yes, it will be even more painful when you dive in. But the only way out is through. Take up the courage and love for yourself to surrender to whatever you feel. We tend to run away from this simple encounter with our inner state for weeks, months, years. It just takes 2 hours of doing nothing else but letting go of running away. Simply being with the pain. Deeply sinking into it so you become the pain. This is ultimately the only way. 

    @peanutspathtotruthI am a complete noob when it comes to nutrition, but cooking doesn´t reduce the nutrients? just wondering.

    Then another question, I have been doing shadow work and going deeply into my emotions and letting myself feel it for hours. This has led me to feel worse the last couple of days. Is this a normal response to facing my emotions? Because I have never felt as depressed as I did yesterday and that is what made it I think. Is this ego backlash?

  6. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    7 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    I am feeling irritated… I’m experiencing the emotion, irritation. 

    Expression is pure freedom. There’s no right or wrong to it. ? Express whatever arises. I’m offering suggestions, not corrections. 

    @Nahm Okay, so I look at the emotion and I express what I feel and what arises. So there is no need to actually express the "I am feeling irritated"? I am just expressing what I feel when I see "irritation" on the emotional scale, which will be very random I suppose.

    Sorry for asking so many follow up questions, but if I wouldn´t I don´t think I would do it at all. Thank you for being so patient with me^_^

  7. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    @Nahm okay, so I just did it. And I did feel better. 4 questions.

    1: can I do this like if I am in school or any other kind of "stressful" environment? because up until now I have not been doing that there and therefore I stoped.

    2: this expressing emotions, is it just "I am feeling irritated" or should I actually play out the emotion of irritation like "I am so pissed that he did that" or a combination of the first and second example? 

    3: I have learned about the sedona method which is basically just feeling into emotions and then they stop controlling you. Does this correlate to that in some way?

    4: the last time I did it I noticed I had more negative self talk, was maybe this because I expressed and found the negative emotions creatively as in the second example in my question nr. 2?

  9. Posted

    @peanutspathtotruth I´ll try the moon milk and listening to nature sounds. Thanks bro!

    @lostingenosmaze thank you, got some good stuff from there.

    @Salvijus yeah, the shower usually becomes sort of a meditation for me before bed.

    @Michael569 my day routine on week days is: wake up, brush teeth and make myself ready, ride the bus to school and meditate, go to school, get home and workout, eat, shower, go to bed. Basically. During the weekends though I usually workout by 12 am. My sleep schedule is consistent throughout the week except for some weekends when i have severely fucked up then I´ll take a couple extra hours of sleep in the morning.

    3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

    Basically your body goes through endocrine and neurological shifts from the moment you wake up and it is important to align those peaks with how you spend the day. For example you should get a proper daylight every morning within 60 minutes of waking up. Also you should make sure you eat that first meal within that time too. It really matters from the endocrino-neurological perspective. This is also the best time to get some exercise, early on in the day. 

    This is great stuff, thanks. I can´t get sunlight though during the weeks as sun goes up super late here in sweden and I am stuck in school during the days so when I am out of school it´s dark outside again (depressing af). I have done intermittent fasting for a while now but I will break that of now as it gets in the way I feel, do you think that is a good idea? Then could I just do like a small cycle of pushups and pullups in the morning as exercise? I can´t run or anything in atleast a couple of months as I am injured.

     

    3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

    Next thing you also want to make sure that as the day progresses you use less and less blue light and switch to more warmer lights. Put blue light blocking glasses on at about 6 pm and wear them till the bed time. At this time of the day i'd gradually start weaning off from all stimulating activity. 

    Switch off your PC about 90 minutes before bedtime latest and don't use phone or watch TV after that time either. I wouldn't eat a high carb meal too late either. This time you can actually light a candle and carry it around. Keep just enough light to avoid bumping into the walls. This time is ideal for reading, yoga, meditation, some light journalling but you want to absolutely stay away from all types of dopaminergic or adrenal stimulation (e.g. exercise, phone, video games etc) 

    I have tried blue blocking glasses but they don´t really seem to help that much, and they don´t quite fit me so they glide down all the time which makes me not use them.

    As a evening routine, could I just sit and be in quiet and just kind of think and meditate, no real structure just sitting in my chair and just sitting and then when i am sleepy I go to bed? I however don´t want  my evening routine to be too long as I already have very little time to do things and sleep.

    As for food, I am restricted by what my parents cook me and what I get in school. And I have tried to speak rationally to my parents and tried to initiate a change but as you probably would have guessed that did not go very well so I am just trying to eat as good as I can when I can choose to I guess

  11. Posted

    hey guys. So my sleep is not good. I found out it has something to do with my emotional state, yes. But can I do anything else about it? I don´t have much money to spend but I really want to sleep better. But if there would be one supplement or max 2 then you could mention that also. Don´t know what the fuck to do, I am going to bed at relatively good times but I can´t sleep for hours and this fucks up everything 

     

  13. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    @Danioover9000

    financial situation: have 10k saved up for me from my parents till´I´m 18 but like 2k that´s mine to use now

    my social circle: the guys at school in my class basically, I only hang out in school

    my situation in high school: I don´t know what you mean but I am probably looked at a bit odd and like I am a bit of a loner and kind of to myself and a bit boring perhaps. Otherwise I have decent grades

    my relationship with my family member: not good at all, we live in a small house and I can´t tolerate them. Completely my fault though as I usually get mad at nothing

    my relationship with my sexuality: don´t even know what this means, I am a virgin but I feel good about my sexuality in general and confident. The only sexual thing I do is to jack off:|

    what hobbies I have: I just started to play guitar, other than that not much. My life got so empty since the biggest thing in my life was soccer before but my body is injured all the fucking time. I like to work out though but can´t really do that now. I like to go out in nature aswell as being with animals. But I basically do none of these as I am just coming out of a long depression.

    What fitness I´m into: running, weightlifting, soccer or any other sports really. I like biking to lakes around my house too during summer aswell as taking walks in the forests. I fucking love to move, but I don´t do these things much either since I am pretty darn injured

    What I do for leisure: mostly watching yt and movies. Feel bad about that though. Maybe petting the dog. Not much here

    personality type: I took it a while back, got INTP-A or INTP-T, but this is bullshit I feel because the person I am now is so far from my "personality", this is just a consequense of being socially liad back for my 17 year life aswell as my 1 year depression. Do with that what you will.

    6 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

       A few questions:

       Which senses do you prefer to use when thinking about social situations?

       What instances in those social situations triggers this insecurity?

       

    I think I use sight mostly, but it´s hard to tell.

    when I am unsure if people like me or when I am unsure whether we have the same opinion. I am also insecure when I meet hot girls, and other people I look up to, also guys. I am also insecure meeting new people and I am insecure that people will think I am bad in some way. I am afraid of people judging me, I kind of feel this feeling that I want to protect my "innocent self image" (that´s how it feels, I know that logically it doesn´t make much sense) and I am afraid of people judging, I have some images that I sincerely don´t want other people to view me as and I feel very obliged to keep people from viewing me in these certain ways examples may be I don´t want to be seen as a player, a loser, unconfident, immature and the list goes on.

    One big excuse for me is that I live 45 min from the only "city" on my island and that makes it easier to come up with excuses. 

    My main problem is just insecurity, I have already decent social calibration but all of this is of course thrown out the window the days I feel unconfident. I guess it´s always about confidence when it comes to social interactions.

    I also feel that the main thing making me feel bad except for not socializing is because ever since I couldn´t play soccer my fucking world got collapsed, and so I have kind of given up more or less (except for some futile attempts) on my life the last year or so just focusing on getting healthy. But I feel I need to get my shit together too to make me feel better

  18. Posted

    hey guys! So I´ve always been bad at socializing and I´ve been moaning about it here on the forum for a while now. So right now the only people I hang out with are my family, the guys in my class (can add that I am a guy) and like 4 guys from my parallell class. I never get invited to do something, I never get invited to partys or anything, and for good reason because most of the time I can be quite boring. Now I ain´t from a big city, I´m from a small island with like 50k people in total spread on a good amount of land. And 1k goes to my high school and maybe another 1k goes on the only other high school there is (know like 1 person there though). That´s why it´s such a big deal that I never get invited to places, because there ain´t nothing but private parties here.

    So, I am not a socially retarded person but I am very insecure in some instances and that makes me fuck up and to not want to speak to people again. So my goal this year is that I basically want to transform myself into a extroverted person from the kind of introverted incel person which is me right now.

    So what I want to ask you guys is, how would you approach this? Mainly what I need to resolve is the fear revolving social interactions aswell as building up my skills at social interactions. And I am not really sure where to start, because what I´ve done in the past is just kind of getting a bit driven to change and then stuff change but then I don´t really have a plan for it and then I stop.

    Also, another question which has been bothering me related to this, how am I myself? it just seems like such a fucking weird concept, I am a different person for everyday that goes of my life, so what kind of person am I? I am NOT asking for a spiritual "there is no self" answer, more just for an answer for how the fuck to find my authentic self in socializing and rest of life aswell.

  19. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    @Spaceso you didn´t take notes? How is that good? I´m honestly wondering, wouldn´t it be better if I also took notes or not? Maybe I read it wrong, so yu´re just saying to not be so rigid about the process, just be curious

    Because many times I take notes on some book or videos and then not really do anything about it and that can´t possibly be the right way to go, right?

  22. Posted

    @Ulax Probably trauma is the thing for me. Because I can see that most other people aren´t having the same problems as I am having, they go through life pretty easily. I am starting cbt therapy on wednesday. That therapy is free from the wellfare in sweden so that´s why I have access to that. It is founded on slowly exposing me to situations that I have problems with if I understand it correctly, aswell as me talking to the psychologist and I don´t know if they can help me relieve the deep trauma or if this is only a relief from the symptoms. Because as an example, last week I had presentation in front of the whole class both thursday and friday, which I am terrified of but I did it. And on friday I was jumping with joy (can´t jump but you know what I mean;)) because I felt so good about myself and I had gotten so confident. But I am very unsure whether that kind of thing really resolves something for me and if something like that would have any value. Well I guess I´ll find out when I have been going to that therapy for a while.

    5 minutes ago, Ulax said:

    I'd learn about toxic relationships and life circumstances too.

    Hmmm, I think this is a big component of suffering in my life too. Do you have any suggestions where to look through that facet of life more thoroughly?

  23. Posted

    So I really need to come to terms with my parents in some way. I am getting irritated and mad at them for very small things all the time.

    So what I usually get mad at is when my dad especially is being slow in his thinking and I get frustrated and irritated by how slow he thinks and is. I also get irritated and mad when my parents aren´t "respecting me" the way I want them to. I feel a sense of entitlement to sleep without noise, an entitlement to get dinner in time so I won´t digest food when I should sleep and fuck up my sleep and a healthy dinner so I can recover from my injuries and just feel better. These are my biggest entitlements.

    I have some egoic thing going on aswell, where I feel better than my parents and feel the urge to show them how bad they are. I try to point out how they are delusional and how they are stupid, and they seem kind of unfazed by this but if my experience with humans is correct then they are suppressing a lot of feelings, and I think I am hurting my parents really badly but they don´t want to show themselves weak.

    I think that if I continue to do this I am going to break my parents, because they are so out of touch with their body and themselves that they won´t really tell people when they are hurt, but I am as always not so fazed by this as I can´t feel the full magnitude of the problem. I am not very attuned to my body or emotions either.

    I can get mad when they are asking me normal questions parents usually ask, like "how was your day?". or "what have you done today?". And maybe this is something I can do my shadow work on. Because these questions provoke some feelings of "they want to get something out of me when they are asking this". I think I am going to do the shadow work where I see the world from their perspective, to feel into that and understand them more. To be more allowing of them as I have egoic reasons as I am going to stay home for a while, but also it would be an invaluable skill to be able to handle such people with ease and make the interactions a lot better by me being a better human being.

  24. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    @itachi uchiha yeah that makes some sense. But how would you suggest I do this work then, just trying to discipline myself and trying trying trying to understand and grinding to put things in practice and then with time these good intentions and good efforts will result in clarity so I can then get the results I want?

    you can tell me how you´d think the most optimal approach would be if you want

  25. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    @Space how did you start watching his videos? Like how did you make these videos a part of your life?

    I think I need to be more contemplative of his videos and all the other advice I consume. Also I think I need to get rid of trauma and negative beliefs and negative self image and that is something I am working on. Maybe that is enough for me now, to just focus on fixing trauma and just challenging myself? I am also going to begin therapy this week so that might also help

    btw. I am not really watching his recent videos, I am watching those older videos. But the last few weeks I haven´t watched anything because I have tried to just journal and contemplate and find some answers fro myself, not just consuming content as I have done now for 8 months or so