1. Use some paragraphs, jesus christ.
2. She literally cheated on him with you and is double dipping, getting the companionship and boyfriend status from him, but lusting for sex and intimacy she got when she hooked up with you again. She has no integrity and doesn't know what she wants.
3. Like most women her age, she is about as emotional stability as an Iraqi government. Unable to be honest and communicate to her boyfriend what she really needs.
4. You can do better, and ARE better (minus the sleeping with her when she's seeing someone for months, that's not good man.) You need to delete her from all media and never contact her again. Actually make a commitment to being broken up. Don't see her again.
5. The reason it feels off is because there is a fundamental jealousy that we all know it's 100x easier for women to get into relationships than a man. Most girls have guys trying to get with them all the time, waiting on the bench. It's just a matter of her keeping them waiting until there is an opportunity. 
Women typically don't have the emotional fortitude to go through a breakup and take time to reflect on themselves, so they cope by letting the orbiter into their DM's and fuck him by the end of the week. Usually their girlfriends are blowing smoke up their ass that nothing is wrong with them, and encouraging her to go out drinking and clubbing and all the other distractive nonsense. A girl (if she wants) won't have to go longer than a month being single after a relationship, while a guy could have to wait literally months or YEARS before connecting with someone else.
This is just the game. I had an ex dump me, I moved across the country. Then she kept messaging to use me for emotional support after she realized all the new guys she was hooking up with weren't half as solid and mature as I was.
My professional advice to you is do the hard thing. Wipe her from your electronic and personal life and focus on yourself for some time. Never get back with someone you broke up with, because you saw the warning signs. You also have first hand experience knowing she isn't worth completely trusting, and if she was willing to string that guy along to leech some benefits off him, don't think she wouldn't do the same thing to you.
She is never yours, it's just your turn.
 
 

Can you also decalcify the pineal gland?
 
I just bought a Nano hidroxyapatite toothpaste. Some research shows it's the same for your teeth as fluoride.
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41405-019-0026-8
Objective
This in situ study compared the effectiveness of two toothpastes containing hydroxyapatite or 500 ppm fluoride in promoting remineralization and inhibiting caries development.
Materials and methods
Two enamel blocks (human primary teeth), one sound and one with artificially-produced caries lesion, were exposed to toothpaste containing either 10% hydroxyapatite or 500 ppm F− (amine fluoride) via intra-oral appliance worn by 30 adults in two-arm double blind randomized crossover study lasting 14 days per arm (ClinicalTrials.gov: NCT03681340). Baseline and post-test mineral loss and lesion depth (LD) were quantified using microradiography. One-sided t-test of one group mean was used for intragroup comparison (baseline vs. post-test), while two-sided t-test of two independent means was used to compare the two toothpaste groups.
Results
Pairwise comparison (baseline vs. test) indicated significant (p < 0.0001) remineralization and LD reduction by either toothpaste; however, when compared against each other, there was no statistically significant difference in remineralization or LD reduction between the two toothpastes. No demineralization could be observed in sound enamel blocks exposed to either toothpaste. While F− induced lesion surface lamination, HAP produced a more homogenous lesion remineralization.
Conclusions
10% hydroxyapatite achieved comparable efficacy with 500 ppm F− in remineralizing initial caries and preventing demineralization. Thus the HAP toothpaste is confirmed to be equal to the fluoride toothpaste in this study.

And what you REALLY mean is ;
I wish I didn't stop avoiding doing all this and running away from my greatness, because the avoidance leaves me in a perpetual uncomfortable state of anxiety, self hatred and dissatisfaction. 
And because embracing the path would ironically feel less heavy and painful than not doing the work.
I feel extremely anxious if I'm not either : A - working hard (Business job hobbies) or B - Socializing/dating/practicing PUA 
If i'm not doing A or B and I'm just "durping" around it feels very very painful and heavy, it is fucking torture. I did it this evening and I am not satisfied, I am going to have to study and work & sleep a little later because if I don't I won't sleep anyway because not doing work poisons the body & mind with fear, worry and self doubt, that is unquestionable. Where as DOING THE WORK = FREEDOM, If you keep going long enough, you have to have enough persistence to wait it out long enough such that the work can become enjoyable, because pua starts off also akward and painful, and I am still in this phase after doing it for months/years on and off, but had I ploughed through it like a soldier, and literally done it every day for the past 3 - 6 months I'm sure I'd be out of that nasty stage already, the harder you work the faster you'll reach that road to freedom, so get ahead in the race before it's too late. 

You guys are funny.
I have taken the weirdest of things to dates. My big big digeridoo, mini chess that we were playing on a regular sized table in the park xD, blankets, I love taking blankets to dates and sitting by a river or something, very big hammock is nice too, printed pages of poetry that we were reading to each other up some hill, board games, there are some small-packaged fast-paced games out there.
I have a shit-ton of ideas. Some crazy, like pulling out an inflatable boat out of the trunk of my car as a surprise, give her a paddle and go down a river. No-one expects shit like that. You need a proper kind of girl for it, and maybe not on a first or second date, xD, but crazy hot girls love crazy man's ideas.
Oh an action video recorder, or professional camera is a nice toy to have on a date. And like I have said earlier, simple music instruments are great. Especially in a setting like a fireplace.
You can also buy a slackline and setup it somewhere in the garden or wherever. It's a lot of fun.

I fully get it. Pickup is brutal. Which is why positive mindset is so important. Which is what I am trying to teach you.
You have to be positive like a motherfucker. That's one of the biggest things pickup will teach you. Stop entertaining disempowering narratives about your life. You don't need to be Batman, you will develop yourself to be cooler than Batman. You are GOD! Batman is stupid. This is how you must think.
This is the core of inner game. You want your inner game to be radiant like the sun. Brainwash yourself into believing that you're awesome and that you wouldn't trade places with any other human on Earth.

No, I just laughed and slept with her.
You can't take any of this shit seriously. It's all a joke. You have to treat this whole pickup thing as a joke.

If there's a will, there's a way.

This is such a wonderful question! And something so few people care to ask. Thank you for asking it
If these are the kind of things you care about, your life will be a gift to yourself and everyone who is lucky enough to come in contact with you.

Firstly true selflessness is not about which actions you do or do not do. Rather focus on the place you are coming from when you take action. Practice acting out of love and checking in with yourself throughout the day. Practice complimenting people simply because you want to make their day better. Selflessness is simple. It can be expressed in every moment. It could just be a smile.

When you grow into a healthy competent person yourself, Love and selflessness exude naturally.

Meditate. Grow a greater understanding of reality, selflessness, and love. With deeper understanding selflessness also begins to exude naturally.

Be deeply present with others. People want to feel seen and heard more than almost anything. They want to connect. People have told me before that it feels like they are the only person in the world when they are with me.
 
Learn to be radically empathetic. Caring about others' perspectives as much as you care about your own is selfless. Understand that everybody is trying their best to live a happy life. No one likes being unhappy. But people get lost and confused. Life is hard! Notice that Love can help bring them back. People need to feel loved. Love melts all problems. Learn to love others for no reason at all.

Notice that the same Love you feel for all is equally applicable to yourself. Love yourself.

Selflessness is borne of suffering. Being able to take up the cross (burden) of others as your own. However this is not sustainable, as the law of reality is everything is love. What does that mean? Any form of control that is exerted is unsustainable by default, so as a result you would need to love suffering to sustain that as a way of life.
What would that mean? That you wouldn't perceive suffering as suffering, to the outside world you would be suffering, but from your vantage point you would be experiencing love. A couple of things.
1. You will always be selfish as long as you are finite, you take up space for crying out loud THAT IS SELFISH!!! LOL.
2. The key is to become able to be both attached and detached at the same time. This means you have something you wish to perform (attached) but you do not care whether it is achieved or not. If you do care whether it is achieved by default you will push, and force to get it done reactively. This will put you in a position where there will be push back against your push. 
3. A huge aspect of selflessness is patience, the ability to be silent, and the ability to not be heard at all. You could desire to speak to someone and intuit that they would rather be heard than listen. Instead of pushing your agenda you stay silent and let them talk their behind off. Over time an openness to your message could appear, this is where you drop the seed of truth, and no matter what disagreement they have after that you do not argue. Why? Because that seed which has bypassed their defenses will do its work. 
The key is to flow, rather than force. This has been confirmed in my own direct experience. It's not always easy, but as long as you are in flow you are not stuck in ego. In the words of Bruce Lee "Be like water my friend." 
P.S. The other aspect of selflessness is learning to love everything, and I do mean everything. If you cannot see love in what you normally call "evil" you will be selfish. The desire you have, requires you ultimately to give up your human perspective and take on a divine perspective of an infinite creator. If you do this, you WILL lose many of your friends and family members because they cannot relate. Good luck!!

@Something Funny Hi, I have been eaten from inside by the need to "maximize" the
effect I would have on other beings, it drove me crazy and i was feeling not enough all the time.
As I've come to realize now if you save just one being you saved an entire universe.
I wrote in my notebook that if you lived your entire life and all you did was make another being
smile you have not lived in vain.
So don't put pressure on yourself.
The mere fact that you want to be selfless shows that you are on the right path.
  The fun thing about reality is that there is a variety of beings all having their unique path.
If your path is programming go for it, someone else's  path might lead him to pick up your garbage
and in so we can live together while each of us plays his role.
I think that if you go with your passion you will help the world in your way.
Selflessness is selfishness taken to its extreme.
When you Really think only about you ,you will see that you don't want to be hated - and will behave with others.
You will see that you don't   like to see other beings suffer - and you will -naturally- help them.
Have a great day
Daniel.