Oppositionless

@LambdaDelta Are you referring to prescription meth? Do you have severe adhd? Cannabis is very powerful for me, I'm basically addicted to it because of its radial effects on my consciousness but I'm hoping to drop it soon. Actually now I can see how it kept me circling around an imitation of awakening for years . I also had a powerful effect from kriya yoga that I don't think is common, but it led to some real awakenings.

It's bittersweet to see a YouTube thumbnail from someone like Bernardo Kastrup or his essentia foundation , because it symbolizes the person I was just a few months ago. The person without the direct encounters which have occurred, the person who found comfort and safety in intellectual spirituality . I love that person so deeply, he was beautiful , broken and deeply sad but beautiful.

He's very pro yoga, (sort of) anti psychedelic. Reminds me of sadhguru in that way. In his recent interview on kundalini etc he takes a very cautious approach : do spiritual practices not psychedelics , only do advanced kundalini techniques under guidance of a guru etc. All that is great advice for people who don't have a burning desire for awakening . It's what I would say to someone on the street.

About 6 years ago, I had my strongest most mind blowing trip ever on a single tab of lsd rated at 200 ug (possibly less than that in reality) and a cannabis edible. It felt a bit like I was seeing my past lives walking all around me in the living room and the night itself felt like an eternity. I must have spent an hour just staring at a neon football, the seductive light drawing me in, I swear I could see stars in that damn ball.

I'm feeling really destabilized at the moment . I experience periods of deep peace followed by crashes, and my ocd is nagging me to do more kriya even though I told myself I was taking a break to integrate. No more kriya right now, period . Not until these ups and downs settle.

Okay it's become apparent in the last couple days that there's actually no rush and doing these advanced techniques isn't necessary for me at the moment . I felt the terror of death last night and again this morning , the contact with the void , the flickering of the self, and realized I don't actually want to die . Not this young , not yet, and definitely not "as fast as possible." What I want to do now is lean into feeling embodied , loving and sexy. I want to become a male baddie. Lots of walks and body based yoga ahead.

Viewing some guest list there are hella throwbacks I vaguely remember reading , trippy.

Dr K on a podcast talking about awakening a week ago.

So Hum (walking version) This is a version of the classic So Hum technique adapted as a walking meditation . It's extremely simple. Stevens has a similar one but this is different from that. * Walk at a comfortable pace . If you feel restless try walking slowly , if you feel lethargic try walking faster. The chants will be synchronized to the footfalls. You can take a few minutes to pay attention to the breath first if it's hard to pay attention to the feet. As the left foot strikes the ground feel into the sensation and mentally chant "So" in the left foot. As the right foot strikes the ground mentally chant "Hum" in the right foot. Really feel into the strike—pressure, texture of sand/grass/pavement, subtle vibration up the leg. The mantra becomes almost secondary. *Stevens' version is synchronized to the breath . "So Hum" means "I am That." The purpose of this practice is to ground the massive amount of energy the breathwork routine cultivates, and thereby purify the lower chakras , bringing God into your whole body.

Crown awakening : The Absolute . No self and no creation. Third eye awakening : Boundless consciousness. Self creation and world creation. "Solipsism." Heart awakening : Unconditional love and bliss, integration of the masculine and feminine.

@Ramasta9 that's a great idea . I'm not gonna take down the posts I've made, but I'm going to acknowledge that the extent and ferocity to which I shared may have actually made me sicker .

Nondual Breathwork Routine (updated) Stage 1) Charging ⚡️ (Energize and Cleanse) Holotropic Breathing (6-10) minutes laying down. Rest (6-10) minutes in shivasana. Stage 2) Directing 🌟 (Raise Prana) Kriya Pranayama 6-12-18 rounds Meditation 10-20 minutes "Do Nothing / Absorption " Stage 3) Balancing ⚖️ Nadi Shodhana (Alternate nostril breathing) ~4+ minutes Maha Mudra 1-2-3 rounds (optional) kneeling meditation ~2+ minutes (optional) legs up the wall ~2+ minutes Go for a walk these practices are 1) a way to awaken quickly 2) a way to feel super sexy

God isn't a person but all persons. When you pray to God as if he's a person this has value , just keep in mind the person who will answer your prayer won't be the "totality" but a very big, very loving placeholder, like the avatars in Hindu mythology. This isn't a bad thing , if God was strictly speaking a person he would be limited, what you want if you want human connection with God is for an avatar to answer your prayer.

Not hiding the posts you think deserve to be hidden .

@LambdaDelta I think you're on to something . I can't make sense of love with my mind because I think how can God accept evil and suffering.