tuckerwphotography

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Posts posted by tuckerwphotography

  8. Posted

    19 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    This is described very in depth in the stages of insight in Buddhism. You were almost certainly in an Arising & Passing away insight stage experience during the trip then fell into a light form of the Dark Night of the Soul insight stages upon seeing all the blissful and fun stuff prove to be impermanent and therefore unsatisfying. You can learn more about the stages of insight here if you’re interested: https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/3-the-three-characteristics/

    Shoot me a PM if you want to go more in depth. 

    @BipolarGrowth Thanks so much for sharing this! Was really helpful to read. 

    I skimmed chapters A&P through Conformity, and I sense that the stage I'm at is Equanimity, though I would need to read the book in more detail to know for sure. 

    That said, the bliss/rapture/ecstasy states in A&P certainly have a lot of overlap with my psychedelic experiences. I pretty consistently have ego death experiences these days, even on relatively small doses, and often dissolve into what I can only describe as Infinite Mind where insights about Truth create a cosmic orgasm-like experience. Except it's not happening to Tucker and to a physical body (as those no longer exist in these states), it's just this abstract bliss that feels like God endlessly ejaculating (in a cosmic not physical sense lol). This last for hours until Consciousness slowly recreates a physical body and ego mind in which I as Tucker come back into form. Often the bliss remains for hours after I'm back in my body, and intense surges of energy course through my body as if Spirit is dancing me. Everything is in perfect harmony and flow, even my ego thoughts which can be witnessed and unconditionally loved. 

    I mention all this to say that I suspect the "Dark Night" feelings are from going from Nonduality to Duality again, and from experiencing Bliss to Equanimity again. Put more bluntly, going from God to Tucker is a bit of a letdown hahaha, although within a day usually a sense of Equanimity returns. Perhaps this is the "Dark Night of Equanimity" that the writer briefly alludes to.

    My sense is that all these maps and models for meditation and awakening need to be researched and reevaluated through the lensing of psychedelics, as I suspect (though am no expert) that the the progression of insights and embodiment happen in unique ways that may not fully align with traditional awakening models.

    Let me know your thoughts, brother, and appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom! 

  9. Posted

    17 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

    Ayahuasca is traditionally used for shadow work from my understanding and experience with the medicine. Are you taking it by yourself? My personal advice is not to drink unless with a trusted facilitator as they work specifically with things like this!

    @BipolarGrowth @Flowerfaeiry Yes, all of my ayahuasca experiences were in ceremony with highly experienced facilitators from Peru and Brazil. But what I'm describing takes place after the ceremonies when everyone goes home and there's usually little support. 

  10. Posted · Edited by tuckerwphotography

    I recently participated in a two day Ayahuasca ceremony, and like my previous experiences, during the actual journey I felt pretty much nothing but pure bliss, rapture, ecstasy. It feels like Spirit is dancing and moving my body and sending me off into cosmic orgasms. It's incredible, until the next morning, when I'm back as a regular human and met with feelings of sadness and disconnection. It's almost like the sensation of getting off a rollercoaster - it's so exhilarating during the ride but then when it ends life feels kind of blah again. The contrast is so intense that I think it magnifies the darker polarities. 

    This usually last for 1-2 days, and then I catch up on sleep and spend some time alone, and I feel back to normal equilibrium again. I'm just wondering if others share this experience and if so what can help with this "post-trip blues"? :)

  12. Posted

    6 hours ago, Rilles said:

    Yes, funnily enough, I searched up a video like this and found this because I have been in a depressive mood all week and needed to reframe my thinking. I dont necessarily believe in what she says but it did help me to look at life in a different way.

    @Rilles I'd recommend the books Conversations with God vol 1-3. They're on Leo's book list. Neale Donald Walshe talks a lot about this concept of our soul choosing everything that's happened to us in our lifetime and the perfection of everything that's playing out. Those books helped me immensely when I was going through a pretty deep depression. Wishing you luck on your journey, my friend.

  14. Posted

    10 hours ago, Rilles said:

     

    @Rilles I recognize that this is all just a story and another dream within the Dream, but on a very practical human level this mindset and belief system can be extremely valuable and reduce suffering immensely. In my experience, it truly does take life situations and moves them from the "victim" box to the "empowerment" box. We can rewrite the story of whatever happens to us to see the positive and the opportunities for growth and evolution. So much power in that process.   

  15. Posted

    It might help (for practical survival sanity reasons) to separate Absolute vs relative (even though they collapse into One at the end of the day). Yes, the Absolute is infinite and will always be Here, so to speak. But the relative will not and can not by its very nature. Impermanence is beautiful because there's nothing to take too seriously - it's all just creation for the sake of creation. And yet it's also the only thing that's happening, so it's literally a Miracle. 

    Reminds me of this Jeff Foster quote I read today:

    "Right now, we stand on sacred and holy ground, for that which will be lost has not yet been lost, and realizing this is the key to unspeakable joy.

    Whoever or whatever is in your life right now has not yet been taken away from you. This may sound trivial, obvious, like nothing, but really it is the key to everything, the why and how and wherefore of existence.

    Impermanence has already rendered everything and everyone around you so deeply holy and significant and worthy of your heartbreaking gratitude.

    Loss has already transfigured your life into an altar.” Jeff Foster

  16. Posted

    @PepperBlossoms What do you mean by "everything lasts forever anyway"? Is that not also just a thought? If it's all an illusion, there is no "thing" to "last" nor a "forever." There's just what Is. 

    Anywho, regarding your main question, I've contemplated this a lot over the past year. I now see "saving the world" as a game/mission/purpose that allows me to open my heart deeper and deeper in order to feel more and more Love for all the beautiful dream characters arising and falling in This, including myself as one of those characters. Here I am, in this incarnation and in this moment with these thoughts arising, so I mine as well play with them and create a reality that enables greater joy, meaning, integration and expansion. If I was God writing an epic story, the current state of humanity is a pretty fascinating one! Mine as well help to cowrite that story and to do so in a way that is a win-win for all the dream characters involved. It certainly beats lying in bed feeling bored, lonely and isolated from the rest of society. 

    I'll probably have a different opinion about all of this is 10 minutes from now, fyi. It's a big topic :)

  17. Posted

     @Tim R I think it depends on what dimension of reality you're speaking about. On the subtle realm (thoughts, ideas, beliefs, stories), Green will emerge pretty rapidly as it has been in the coming decades. But on the concrete material realm, society will take a lot longer to catch up to the ideas and beliefs of the culture. For example, all of Manhattan is basically a massive Stage Orange mecca. Even if over half the population of the city is Green in the 20 years from now, all those Stage Orange skyscrapers and infrastructure will still be more or less as they are today (with maybe a few more rooftop gardens and an updated energy grid). I suspect it will take many more decades for Green to saturate culture on the material level in a way that feels like "ok this is solid Green." A truly Green-centric society would look and feel vastly different than 99.9% of places in America or Europe at the moment, just like Stage Blue Amish country looks vastly different from Stage Orange Manhattan. 

  20. Posted

    Construct Aware / Magician (or Alchemist) is late Yellow, early Turquoise. Unitive is not really an actual stage of ego development rather a catch-all for various different stages that are outlined in other models, such as STAGES Institute (5.0 and above). Basically, Susanne's model is only really constructive through Construct Aware. After that, her model pretty much ends despite the fact that there are additional stages of ego development (though occupied by increasingly less and less of the population, which is why so few people have mapped them).

    STAGES seems to pick up where Susanne left off, so I'd explore that if you're interested (see attached PDF). My guess is Leo is at 5.5 based off my understanding of the model and how I perceive him.

    The_STAGES_Matrix_Roadmap_GEN_10-18.pdf

  23. Posted

    1 hour ago, DocWatts said:

    Thanks for the share! Looking forward to reading through this more thoroughly when I have a bit of time on my hands, but this does seem to be a much better model for individual development than trying to stretch Spiral Dynamics for that purpose.

    Going from Leo's video on Susanne Cook-Grueter, I'd say I resonate most strongly with the Strategist stage, with perhaps with a very slight nudge in the direction of the Construct Aware stage as I continue to explore spirituality (closer to secular Buddhism than what Leo teaches).

    Perhaps in another ten years... ?

    @DocWatts Nah, if you’re committed to evolving and growing, it won’t take 10 years. Then again, what’s the rush? Mine as well enjoy where you’re at if you’re happy and fulfilled ?

  24. Posted

    16 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

    For people who voted Tier 2, who are your heroes? (or name some Tier 2 thinkers).

    @Carl-Richard I can't say any of these people are my "heroes" in the traditional sense of the word, but some folks who I deeply appreciate and resonate with are:

    -Daniel Schmachtenberger

    -Jamie Wheal

    -Richard Rohr

    -Ken Wilber

    -Susanne Cook-Greuter 

    -Terri O'Fallon 

    -Scott Barry Kaufman 

    -Adyashanti, Rupert Spira, Neal Donald Walshe

    -Hanzi Frinacht aka Daniel Gortz

    -Terry Patten

    -Thomas Huebl

    -David Deida 

    -Leo 

    -Daniel Thorson 

    -David Hawkins

    -Rebel Wisdom and Future Thinkers guys

    -Holly Woods

    -Alan Watts

  25. Posted

    13 hours ago, Raphael said:

    I have more and more difficulties to categorize myself:

    • Sometimes I consider myself at Orange/Green because I'm still integrating the business and success aspect of Orange, but aside from that I don't resonate with most things at Orange.
    • Sometimes I see myself as mostly at Yellow with some Orange and Green because I really try to be as objective as possible and see things from different perspectives. However, Yellow is much more complex that we can assume, it's very difficult to be mostly at Yellow as it demands a lot of knowledge and life experiences that I don't think I have at my age.
    • At some moments I even felt that I was at Turquoise.

    Overall, I think that I avoid a bit the emotional vulnerability of Green.

    Also, where someone is mostly at can vary on the kind of issue that he/she is dealing with even though it is not the person's usual center of gravity. For example if someone is usually at Yellow but went through some though challenges and need to heal, then this person will spend more time at Green to be in touch with his/her emotions and clear the traumas and therefore the center of gravity will be Green.

    @Raphael This feels to me like a very honest assessment. Thanks for sharing!