PepperBlossoms

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Everything posted by PepperBlossoms

  1. Does anyone else have the problem where someone says something and you hear it but you don't respond or do any sort of action to acknowledge that the other person said something? I have had this problem since I was a kid and I keep on having times where I am not reacting to others. If you had this problem, what worked for you to solve it? Yes being able to shift focus and drop whatever I am currently focusing on to focus on the other person and choosing that hey this person wants to be responded to, I need to respond, listen up me, snap out of the whatever and respond!
  2. How does one stop rejecting things? How to be okay with everything? It seems that we pick one thing which is then a rejection of everything we did not pick. To survive, we decide to pick those choices which would not lead to death. Yes on the absolute sense nothing is rejecting anything. But on the relative sense it is - even though there may be no control that we are rejecting but we have the illusion that we think we are in control. The rejection causes pain but at the same time, to not reject can also cause pain. (Edit - yes this does relate to Leo and Curt's discussion)
  3. Girls may be more likely to want to hangout with you if you have peers with you and they can see how you and your peers interact rather than just a stranger who is by themselves coming up to random people. It creates a sense of - oh this person is valuable/friendly/fun as there are other people who want to be/hangout with them.
  4. Do you design roads/subdivisions when they kill bugs/animals/trees/humans or even buildings when the people using them indirectly kill bugs/animals/trees/humans? What about the infrastructure network for water/wastewater/drainage/roads when that is aiding the continued killing of bugs/animals/trees/humans? Is it hypocritical to say one should not design these things when one uses and benefits from them personally? The hypocrisy to say I will not work on oil and gas when I still drive a gas vehicle or I will not work on fast food when I may rarely go visit one. How does one proceed? In absolute sense, all morals are made up and everything is fine. In finite sense, some things are more destructive and others and it is best to chose the least destructive thing (but that is relative to who the perspective is from). What about if one is to do say the drainage for a company that still does oil and gas work as well? I am feeling like it is still bad to work for a company regardless of what I do if it is choosing to continue to do oil and gas as one of its services.
  5. Enjoy the journey. The journey is all there is.
  6. You aren't going to work at the current place forever anyway so if you want to leave and already have a better fit, go ahead. If the boss treats the employees like shit, all the more reason to not stay and get the heck out. You could have rightfully left when you saw how horrible your coworker was being treated.
  7. Cravings are tough for me too. When I eat something and then it gets me to crave eating other stuff and other stuff. I will think about that food like it is on the tip of my tongue and then want it and either I go to get it or I don't. The food is usually always bad food as well. Or someone will mention a food and then I will later want it. It can sometimes be easier to just decide to not eat any bad food than to let oneself eat it. Bad stuff leads to more bad stuff because we are giving ourselves permission for bad stuff.
  8. We should be building psychedelic stores all over the world instead of military bases and drones.
  9. to switch over from a human lens and start viewing from the infinity lens, or oneness lens, or whatever lens you want - whatever you identify as - and make up that story/perspective/meaning yeah I guess its all a bunch of stuff popping up that we see and it just keeps on popping up but the stuff that is popping up is me.........and me is noticing...
  10. It is funny to look at how us humans have been operating and to see how serious we take ourselves. Being human may be a relatively new thing in the vast expanse of a potential infinity You look at someone with the fancy clothing and the fancy home and how they act and all the social norms - it is like being in the bubble of - oh this is normal - this is how things have always been - - when it hasn't necessarily- we have been making it up but so many people act certain ways and we've seen the human way of operating so much that we feel it is all "normal" - - we manufactured the notion of what normal is and continue to do so - - the state of normal is constantly changing Operating like - I am a human and only care about the human perspective yeah there is no recollection/story of "us" before "human birth" so that may add to the perspective bubble it is funny though because we are CONVINCING to ourselves that this way of behavior is some sort of NORMAL humans may have only existed for like a blimp of infinity that is basically nothing and yet we are acting like it is EVERYTHING and make our world seem as such But then yet all weird in terms of oneness and the unawareness that goes along with everyone/thing being me
  11. How often do you find yourself imagining everything from notion of person in body you are seeing from versus imagining the perspective of the other person, dog, tree, rock, cup, mountain, etc.? I find it is easier to do with dogs and bugs but A - no social repercussion to study them, B - less intimidating, C - they will still interact with you, D - they are similar enough to what you claim to be familiar with I tend to put myself as the center stage of the imagination for reality but there has to be some imagination about the other otherwise I wouldn't imagine the other so seriously (which I have programmed myself/been influenced to take seriously)- - one has to basically decide to put an effort in of operating from the perspective of how the other person is operating but yet at the same time, one has to keep on operating as self and it is hard to multitask - - everything is kinda all just happening on its own though
  12. What do you tolerate and what do you say absolutely no to in relation to consciousness for in relation to your career? Most common careers can unknowingly be harming the environment but it is so normalized that it is done without question. Or the people do it because it gives them money and they care more about the money than the impact on the environment/long term impacts. You could look at a career like architecture, civil/mechanical/electrical engineering, construction, chef, accountant, software engineer, truck driver, human resources, project manager, surveyor, environmental engineer, clothing designer, computer builder, cashiers, janitors, teacher, doctor, lawyer, real estate, etc. and say - oh these are fine positions with no concern for consciousness. There is nothing wrong.. but then when you look at what they are allowing/building/nurturing/enabling - - fast food chains, gas stations, factories that produce plastic, oil & gas lines, cruise ships that emit lots of pollutants, auto mechanic places that fix gasoline cars or dealerships that sell them, meat packing plants, militaries with guns/bombs, tearing down forests/undeveloped land and turning into concrete paradise. Someone had to design/build those places, someone has to manage those places, someone has to provide education/medicine/therapy to the people to be able to grow up to design/build/manage/work at those places, someone built the search engines and computer software and computers for those places to aid their work, someone built the wardrobe for those places to wear, someone designed/built the road for the people to get to the office at this place, someone designed/built the homes to house these people, someone grew the food to nourish these people So do you then A - find a company that does not contribute to this - does not directly say design gas stations? (but what if you still have a gasoline car and so you just rely on other companies to take on those projects but you say no to them? do you get an electric vehicle? if you are still driving a gas vehicle - then you are still hurting the environment even if you aren't the one doing the design/construction of the gas station) B - do something to stop it? C - find a city where these industries do not exist so that the taxpayer money for the infrastructure is not aiding the survival of this business - as that business will use the city's water/wastewater/drainage/roadway/electricity/currency/laws/police/fire fighters/residents What about how employees are treated - what do you let slide and what gets you to leave? If your workplace was not transparent, had bosses lying to your face, various verbal abuse, did not have a mask requirement in response to covid, would you take/stay at that job? Are there any jobs that can avoid this as best as they can? What have you found? It is interesting how even something like something in banking or even excel or microsoft word - those developments are aiding this stuff If you are a teacher, the students you teach could grow up to work at those places and cause destruction. If you are a therapist, you could make them feel better about themselves to then do better at their jobs and continue to cause destruction (but one would hope not) Yeah sure you could legally try to work with psychedelics or write books or go into public policy to try to change things - - Even if what you did was to aid in the safety of oil/gas - you are still contributing to that type of product. Even to just build a roads - you are taking away habitat from the other animals/bugs. To even work in a country that you have to pay taxes in - you may be supporting a government that is bombing other places or doing things that you do not agree with but yet you are forced to pay taxes to - do you leave that country and go elsewhere? do you write about it? do you go into government to change it?
  13. Thanks for asking. It's so far been stuff related to career, motivation, making decisions, relationships, emotions, maturity, guilt, depression, anxiety, thoughts, past experiences, etc. Therapy can be great when we are developed/mature enough to want to do it. There is so much one can discuss and the sessions are always too short haha. I've asked for 2 sessions a week on the weeks I feel I am really struggling. It's almost like needing someone to hold your hand so I guess one gets out of therapy when they are finally strong enough to fly solo.
  14. To take the test: https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test I am curious if most of the people on actualized are type 4 (introspective, self aware) and 5 (love of learning, scientific) and if there is a theme. 5 because people on here like to learn and discuss things, 4 because we are not satisfied with out current understanding of reality/being and so we keep on going back to actualized. Can look up what the personality types mean for free by googling it such as here - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-4 I'm type 4 and 5.
  15. Anger is a new experience for me. I haven't experienced it for a few months now - one can't feel angry if one is feeling scared, depressed, anxious, guiltful, shameful, lowly, apathy, fear, etc. Anger requires some level of self love, self confidence. To say - yes I am worthy of anger. I am deserving enough, I am strong/powerful enough. It is in a way uplifting to feel some sort of anger - in lieu of previously when I was suicidal, depressed, or hyper anxious. When previously I felt I needed to hide in a cave, anger kinda makes it seem like - no I don't have to hide. I am not even sure where the anger came from - maybe from seeing that I am upset at how I have handled things in the past/past decisions - not sure. Will have to take a look at those leo videos on anger.
  16. Thanks for sharing. I have been going for therapy for 3ish months now as well. I was initially feeling pretty horrible after each session as well but I think it is getting better. I think that my dad contributed to some of my destructive thinking patterns and I also talk most of the time as well. Super glad to hear that it worked pretty well for you and that she was able to help.
  17. If he/she lacks skills, you could feel sorry for them and try to help them grow - be a friend on their path of development - a lighthouse in the dark. Why do you care so much about whether this person is developed or not? Why is it inspiring hate? Take it a step further and look at how they see you and come up with a bullet list for that. Come up with a list of the things that you personally need to work on as well and not just them. Everyone is at their own level of development and one of the things to learn is to notice where everyone else is and accept where they are at and be grateful that the relative you is past that. Maybe you still struggle with some of those things in the list you gave and so that is why it bothers you that they are how they are?
  18. What do you mean by people that are shapeshifters? Like you feel like you don't know the real them and they are just putting on a show of whatever is going to serve them in that moment? Sometimes I consider myself to be a narcissist. Interesting point on soaking something with emotion. Can you give some examples for that? I can see that when someone is trying to hire me and they are using lots of emotion there, I question that; or when talking to someone and they are really excited, I may question that. Or someone trying to sell a product and being excited about it or being all excited when talking about how great their company is. Sometimes it is easier to just falsify the whole thing so as to not put more projection/meaning onto something and just move on. There are an infinite amount of ways to put projection/meaning onto something and it is all relative and based on what other projections/meanings that we have already come up with/been exposed to. Interesting point of the no memory of how memory got created. I didn't fall for that one!
  19. Watch a movie, know it isn't real but keep on forgetting and thinking it is - then react with empathy for characters during movie Wake up from sleeping and tell myself its Tuesday and look around as if it is so and then say, oh it is still Monday and then look around as if it is so There is no truth - there is only appearance. Stuff appears to be true just like stuff appears to be false. It keeps on appearing so until the appearance changes and then it appears as something else. Such as - see it as true until the form is different and then see it as a different way of now being true. Know that social norms are all made up but I keep on falling for going along with them anyway Know that I am all part of reality but then I still walk around at the gym like I am a person who walks around like how others walk around (even though I could walk around however) What do you find yourself being gullible for? How do you catch yourself/notice and then what changes after that?
  20. I guess one thing is that with the relationship wall, it was probably more of not having a durable wall in the first place and then I built one and the experience of not having one was so bad that I made it kinda like - the experience of sleeping outside all night can be so dangerous that we make homes so the experience can be so bad of godness that we go back to human with a wall around us it is almost as if the wall is indeed physical as we shun things. we physically keep away as if the wall is keeping us away. like how a value system builds a wall and shuns other things out mentally but also because it does that it physically shuns them too BUTTT I could also easily tear the wall down or put up a door and walk through the wall - the wall could be flimsy in a way - not much keeping it together (if that is how I imagine it)
  21. When in a relationship, we may imagine a wall of the things that we now can and cannot do because we are in a relationship but the wall may be imagined and not actually there. The same could apply to human vs. god consciousness. We imagine a wall that isn't actually there that is separating us from god vs human consciousness. Walls even though not there but we believe them to be there so we act as such. "Oh I will not do xyz because that is what the wall requires." I made up the wall and I pretend it is there. However, walls can be useful techniques and can then get you to behave a certain way - such as a wall of - oh I won't talk to other guys as I am in a relationship. So the wall you have which seems to be working is to eat a lot, have bad posture, etc. which seems to be working well but yet having some problems on your health. It can be hard to keep walls up but one can do it especially if having a super bad experience when dropping the wall. If you drop the wall and go into god mode, could you build it again and go back and forth kinda like going inside and outside a house or focusing on the inside thoughts versus outside environment.... could you architect the walls? - like put up windows or make it of various transparencies? like a chain link fence or a glass window - of which would have varying access between human and god mode or create a map so you can find your way back to human mode - which it looks like you have done that by focusing on food, posture, thoughts
  22. @Carl-Richard I read your posts. Wow. What is the thing that allows you to stay in human mode and not god mode? What does the god mode feel like and how does that compare? What kind of "walls" do you have to imagine to keep god mode out and stay in human mode? For instance, if I pay attention to the stickiness from the sweat on my body and the way the clothes feel and the way the human body feels against the floor and the thoughts are all on perspective of everything in relation to human version me, then I can see being in human mode. How does that compare to god mode for you for the times that it has started to happen? I have had glimpses of god mode while on psychedelics and I guess it is just this notion that I am everything and there is no wall or boundary between anything - but yet I keep staying in human mode.
  23. That then brings up using epistemology to describe how we got to where we are and how we have no memory of being born - also like in a dream no memory of how we got to the dream - or thoughts and no memory of deciding to start thinking a thought other than being deep in thought @lxlichael Definitely interested in being on team illuminati.