zambize

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About zambize

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    Madison
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    Male

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  1. Good I actually saw her yesterday to go shoe shopping, my work gives us 175 dollars to spend on shoes so I got to see her to help pick out some stuff
  2. Put me on the list for if you ever become god
  3. I think if you're a people person, backpacking would give a good opportunity to meet a lot of different people across a really large area and I could see that being really valuable
  4. <3

    Goals day 39+40+41/66 First week of work went really well, person training me told the boss of the company I was the quickest learner he's ever had, which was nice of him and now I'm in super good standings at work. Uhhh last night I was meditating and I got like jumped a bit cause I hallucinated a girl kind of like waving at me through a window. Some of visions when I close my eyes are become a lot more vivid and realistic and it kind of caught me off guard. Definitely stepping into some new territory. Still could be eating healthier, but I did go out shopping and got some stuff that's a bit better so I'm happy enough with how I'm eating. Monday I get trained on a forklift, I'm going to have to really avoid the temptation of messing around on the forklift. I'm definitely going to want to go too fast and do donuts and whatnot, showoff how good of a forklift driver I am..... I'll try not to do that, I could definitely get in trouble with that thing if I don't watch myself. I'd say we are on track, could maybe remember to not multi-task quite so much, could help relax even more, otherwise most stuff is going pretty well
  5. <3

    Goals day 37+38/66 Well work is going really well, my boss said "even with high expectations you are exceeding them" or something like that. Gimme a raise then bitch. Hes actually a really nice guy. Getting kind of lazy with the journal, but not with the goals. And the goal of the journal was one way I could motivate myself and keep track of my goals so as long as I'm doing well in my life, I dont really care if I slack on a couple of things. I do need to make myself healthier food. Yesterdays dinner was oreos and a couple of peanut butter sandwiches. Really setting the bar low in terms of healthier food so we probably gunna do well with that goal. Atleast I'm not getting fat, I dont eat enough shit food to do that, despite sometimes me only eating unhealthy stuff in a day.
  6. <3

    Goals Day 35+36/66 Today was my first day at work, and it went quite well. A bunch of people fucked up and I caught their fuck ups and the dude training me was like "can you just go talk to him and deal with this" so I was my first day on the job kind of telling this dude who I just met that he needed to fix his mistakes. The guy took it really well, but I think I'd rather not be put in that position, I don't want people thinking I'm trying to be some boss :(((((( I got along with everyone well, and yeah that's probably going to continue going well. As far as enlightenment work goes, I don't got much to say, we are somewhere on the path with our machete chopping away. I would say my meditation session have gotten a lot better, I barely got lost in thought in my last two hour meditation session. Kind of been eating like shit though, but that's not that hard to fix
  7. Parenting just seems like applying personal development to your own child , plus maybe a couple other things like cleaning shit off of assholes that aren't your own. If you know how to raise a child, you should know how to raise yourself because we are all children in many ways
  8. <3

    Goals Day 34/66 Yesterday I went to a comedy club with the family. Which actually went pretty well. My mom still does some shit that drives me crazy in public. I don't really like small talk, and I don't really care to talk about stupid shit with strangers. We shared a table with some other people and she's always gotta like introduce everyone and talk about where they live and work and just kind of talk to talk. The woman running this comedy club did such a good job despite it being such a small venue, I was really impressed. She said she was 53 and married with kids. I don't think I've ever wanted to fuck a 53 year old woman with kids but I would've taken her home with me no shame. I was walking by the lake today and saw people rowing and was like "that's weird it's a holiday", which is kind of comedically narcissistic that somehow the rowing team cares about my favorite holiday 420. But it's important to me, so everyone else must care haha. I'm probably 100x more excited for 420 today and hanging out with friends than Easter tomorrow, sorry Jesus, your holiday kinda fucking sucks. Who the fuck picked ham anyways, it's probably the least liked special dinner out there..... Things are going good though for the most part, couple of hard times where I really have to sit down, quiet down, and process, but I enjoy it for the most part
  9. Have you thought about meal prepping a couple of healthy meals, or maybe that's what you tried? That consistency could maybe help with blood sugar, but I'm not sure
  10. I really like that quote, especially since I was at a comedy show yesterday haha
  11. I'm grateful that I want to be happy I'm grateful I didn't die when I was younger and almost OD'ed I'm grateful that my roommate is a really nice boy sometimes I'm grateful you're on this forums because I like you and think you're super helpful to other people I'm grateful that it's finally spring cause winter in Wisconsin fucking sucks That's it!
  12. I would say a 40 minute session is probably better than two 20 minutes because I do think it can take a little bit of start up time to get into the zone and quiet the mind well enough to notice some of the subtle ways we are suffering and resisting reality. That being said, I wouldnt say it has seemed that important from my experience, but you'll have to get a feel for it yourself. I wouldnt stress it too much and just do whichever of the two comes more naturally and focus more on how you can be practicing throughout your everyday life
  13. <3

    Me: Well I don't take it seriously but I quite often have those narcissistic thoughts that the world revolves around me much more than it does. Soooooo I was feeling a bit tired and kind of done doing anything productive, and my roommate came home and had seen that I had done like 3/4 of the cleaning, and he goes and does the other 1/4 and gives me a cupcake. That definitely helped turn around my night. Sometimes he pisses me the fuck off, but he can really be a sweetheart. I think at the beginning of my goals on working on femininity,I felt bad that I spent so much time on enlightenment work vs. femininity. But that's just cause I didn't realize fully the role of femininity in enlightenment work. Right now I largely consider enlightenment work a practice of femininity, much more so than masculinity. Surrender, kindness, compassion etc. are all things I heavily associate with the work. Surrender is pretty obvious, the goal for me is to surrender completely to reality, that's pretty close to what I think my definition of enlightenment would be saved for. Absolutely zero resistance to what is in your direct experience. Now kindness and compassion are also important, but it's kind of harder to explain. But it makes the surrendering go so much faster, it kind of affects the rate at which you let go. When you know you are kind and compassionate with yourself, you're willing to be more honest with yourself. You care enough to address the things that are nagging you in your direct experience because you are important to you to take the time to do that and suffer through it so in the future you can feel better and be happier. It's an act of kindness and compassion at its heart. On that note, enlightenment work is going really well and I've felt like I've kind of "leveled up" a couple of times recently which is nice, I love living a vivid life Grade: A, it was too productive of a day to be otherwise Still in the indie vibe although I feel myself kind of going back to throwback songs