EugeneTheSage

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About EugeneTheSage

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday 03/17/2001

Personal Information

  • Location
    3City, Poland
  • Gender
    Male

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570 profile views
  1. @MilenaS you can, see private messenges, we were up to meet.
  2. Because the presented maps here aren't working, I've created a map where you can add yourself by filling the form. Sometimes it doesn't refresh, so after I reimport the data on the map, you could see your marker. I hope the map would still work after a few years! Link to the form: http://bit.ly/actualized-org-location-form Link to the map: http://bit.ly/actualized-org-location-map Please don't put markers on the map, but fill the form instead - otherwise, data may be lost
  3. @MilenaS , I wanted to make it neccessary to fill the form first but you asked me to do this: Sometimes it doesn't refresh automatically, so I need to reimport the information. Now you can see new people
  4. I spent the whole yesterday and today's evenings checking every post containing the word "Poland" and "Polish". I've found two guys from my town Gdynia, and also a girl from Kraków with whom we suppose to have a good conversation. But I'm sure there are more of you. I would like to surround myself with the same high-envisioned people in order to infect each other with high-conscious stuff. I've created a Google map where you can place a marker on your location. You can fill in the form and google would automatically set the marker, and then you can see and visit folks that you like. Here is the link to the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeR4HQkRs652_0-rNWGdIx--QYTHYI2f_pSnMY5NO8jjlKgkA/viewform , you will receive a link to a map after you fill in your information. I saw somebody else tried to do some map to make it possible for everybody to see each other, but all links are expired. I think people from other countries could also stick in because the map is not limited just to Poland.
  5. @Czarkovsky hey where are you from? Any close to 3City (Trójmiasto)
  6. @Moses so does any system like that works? All links are expired
  7. Gdynia, Poland. But my national ego prompts me I'm Ukrainian🤪 Currently working on aeroponics&urban farm project
  8. reccomend to cut a foreskin off, called circumsion. There are ways to stretch it out, but you need be quite persistent with it. And in all cases recommend to consult with a doctor What I also feel about my foreskin is that is a big hindrance to great sex. Recommend to cut off this piece of flesh, by medical procedure, of course
  9. Sadhguru hasn't become enlightened by accident. If you read his book you will find he was doing Hatha yoga for a decade, and also has times when he was climbing trees and could remain on a tree for 10 hours straight - he liked trans-like state in which he was brought by tree's swaying. Eckhart Tolle was explaining that Enlightenment or samadhi could be triggered by immense sufferings. For example, some criminals who were awaiting persecution in the middle ages had glimpse of Enlightenment. So here is the answer: do Hatha yoga, tree swaying meditation, or suffer immensely
  10. Of course, but it looks like those desires will not pass(
  11. Yeah, I think to find a good friend. Meeting with him would remind me about my path.
  12. "If you observe the boiling river, that means you are not drowning in it" I observe the thoughts throughout the day, concentrating on a place where they come from. When the mind calms down, I "anchor" my consciousness into the breath, feeling of the whole body. If it is interesting for you you can read "Power of Now" by Ekhart Tolle
  13. Hi I start my day from pranayama kapalabhati breathing techique - it takes off the veil from your perception of reality. Mind is clear and calm after this Surya namaskar of 2 types, each one of 4 sets Meditation (vippassana) 30 mins. I still experimenting with meditations, so it can vary Self inquiry Day planning Reading 30 mins of the hobby - 3d-graphic Everytime i go to work I go through the park and observe the ducks - they have so much to teach you! When I back home I try to meditate. I want it Eating: breakfast between 10-12 AM, supper 17-19. I try to it in 8-hour range, so I have the 16 hours of fasting Washing up Checking email, social media Meditating Sleeping/laying mediation. Usually I do Yoga Nidra. While doing it feeling like a magic. Highly reccomend: https://blog.bulletproof.com/resources/ almost on the bottom of the page Also very important thing (at least for me) is not to push some habit - I do what sticks. I glad to not feel guilty when some habit is not working for you, or you find it dull and quit it. I think that is the only way to find your own. You need to find a balance between committing to habits and experimenting with new
  14. Hey guys and girls! I am Eugene, and now I am experiencing a big ego backlash. But before I will describe the problem let me introduce myself. I was just a mediocre shy guy, before I've read my first self-help book in my 15. After next year I have overcame computer games, jerking and watching porn, stopped eating sugar, wheat, became a vegetaranian, commited to meditate everyday to the rest of my life. Then I decided to go to the college to the nearby country. In order to do this I extremely pushed up my school marks from the bottom to the ceiling. I've learned polish language and became fluent in it. When I arrived to the college I've immediately enhanced my self-asteem: had a few public speeches in foreign language, started to get good results in school right from the start. I've found a few very good friends, started building muscles. In the middle of the first year I've had a deppression and experienced "no-self" mystical state. Then I've bought into spirituality and started to do self-inquiry. But I was in Poland only for a year - I've dropped the college, because I wanted to be independent from parents and having my own moneys to buy self-help books, courses. Having 17 I've found a job, and advanced a lot in corporate ladder. Now I having a another much more paid job of volounteer in charity foundation. I very like it. But something awfull happened in the february 2019 Over the previous 3 month I ate so much pizza, chips, cakes, sweet bars that no other person could in a year. Sometimes I can spend even 6 hours a day having a sightseen through all kind of the supermarkets and restaurants) Also I started jerking porn. Also I broke the promise to not touch my financial accumulations Which things could be the cause of those undesirable behaviours: It all started when I passed pranayama course. I started to experience high states of love, gratitude. On the work when somebody was hurrying me up, I was very calm to the opposite of anxious me that I used to be before. I renewed my self-inquiry practise (that I dropped since the time I've dropped the college, because I was busy to find the job and arrange my finances) I started to fast one day per week I did Shankha-prakshalana (the cleaning of intestine by salty water (Bon apetit)) - was quite psychologically hard Tried to dip in icy water in the middle of the winter. Itensified my contrast shower Changed the job and increased my wage up to 30%. Now I can allow myself to buy whatever healthy\organic food that I like (but I feel guilty, because I spend half of my salary on junk food) Also a new job spends only 4-5 hours a day, and I don't know where to get all this time, so I experiencing existential void Started to practise strong determination sitting (in order to get rid of addictions). I had a 2-day solo retreat as Leo suggested (sitting for 1hour motionless and mindfull 4 times a day for 2 days). Actually after this my addiction only enhanced (what should be expected) I started to meditate minimum 1 session 30 minutes a day, but usually I do 2-3 30min sessions per day. My practise has become deeper after the 2-day retreat. Also I abstain myself from the girls, partying, socializing, as Leo told in episode "how to deal with loneliness" - and this highly resonates with me. I also have no person to talk with - all my friend in the sudden went abroad. So I full experiencing the existential void. Having lot of Samadhi experiences: sometimes I feeling unity with items while looking at them, no-free-will experience What are my insights and what I've tried in order to overcome those addictions: I try doing it as consciously as I can. I've understood that the only bad thing about this behaviour is that it happens unconsciously. Junk food by itself isn't bad at any level I constantly observe my thoughts (mindfullness practise from the Ekhart Tolle "Power of Now") I trying to replace those by "positive addictions" such as my 3d-graphic hobby, now I consider to find a girlfriend, otherwise I will not endure the lust. I think I should find a "healthy" distraction, to replace my present thoughts. As though a brain is reflectory organ, I can't just stop him, so I should create a new input to it "Darkness cannot be beaten, it can only dissolve by exposing it to the light" Also I like a Sadhguru words "I wanna you to be constantly focused on something". I also feel that I just should have as much important things in my life to be focused on Also I try to not betray and blame myself for those acts of evil I watched topics that relate to my situation: "how to deal with loneliness", "how to overcome addiction", "ego backlash", "free will vs determinism" recently, "dark side of meditation", "awareness alone is curative" - that one I use as the excuse to do all that bad stuff ("I will just let myself consciously jerk some porn") I've promised to my brother that I won't do this crap for the whole month, otherwise I will pay him a money (now I am in a huge debts). Even when I successfully abstained from it, I felt huge desire for it. My job including collecting charity funds in box in crowded places. As I observed the people I've asked the questions: "Why certain people buying certain types of food?" " Why I don't seeing old retired persons standing near the kebab&panini kiosks?" "And why do young people never buy stuff old people are buying?" "Why am I constantly want only few kinds of food: chips, "Napoleon" cake, few sorts of pizza?" "Why I don't even look on some kinds of food in the shop?" for examples some gummy-bears, jelly artificial candies - those don't event exist for me in th shop "Why don't I wanna to try the stuff I've never tried before?" - The reason why is because I was programmed for this food since the childhood And also few other things I should say about my situation: Sometimes I set hard intention to stop ego backlash process. But desires soak in and I can't rid off them. Sometimes it feels hopeless. Feels like it is impossible to deal with that. The higher intentions to execute the best life ever possible arises sponteneously, out of nowhere, as so as nasty desires It taught me that failures don't influence my in anyway - I am not the failure, failure is just a thought in my mind. This insight helps me to not give a damn about yourself and after the ego's kick continue to work forward. Also I've lost vision for my life. Nothing motivates me anymore. It is boring to review my goal journal - I do it mechanically. I think it is because I don't allow myself to think about anything motivational. I practising thought observation, when I observe the thought - it disappears. The problem is that "good" thoughts disappear quite simply, but those like addictive ones very hard Sometimes I even question: "Do I even want to get rid of that? What is the point?" What is my plan? To set my life purpose. I have a few options, but I still doubt (for the las few years) Renew my physical exercises, and start building muscles again Start to run with a few girls in the morning Visit vippassana retreat in May Go to the India like Steve Jobs in his 19th (probably), visit some monastery (I hope I will not splash the holy walls with my semen) Go to the Inner Engeneering program by Sadhguru, and then be Isha volounteer for a 3 month (those 2 last points prepared for the extreme case) I feel very great now, by writing this topic. Expressing my thoughts on the screen, and exposing my problem to the self-actualizing community makes me feel more powerfull and motivates to overcome this period of my life. Please guys, tell some insights&experiences in overcoming addiction. I will try to insert them into my picture. I don't just wanna to fix, but to prevent such big backlashes in the future. I very need a fresh look to my problems. I think it is a great springboard to attain even higher self-actualized level than was before the backlash. The main thing I wanna accomplish is not just stop bingeating and jerking, but totally eliminate the desire! To the point that some guy suggest me 10 delicious pizzas for free and I don't even tempted by them! Thank you for your response!
  15. What did I learn from this episode? After this video I will go to my youtube history and analyze how many videos I've learned something from today. And if I haven't, so how can I change my behavior?" I will review some big events in my life, and I'll analize how my behavior has changed or if it hasn't how can I change it I will go to the forum and read insights of others about this topic I will keep "How will my behavior change?" journal for 30 days up to 28 of February 2019 I will ask aforementioned questions in areas of application Leo gave me