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About billiesimon

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  1. The poetic description video was one of your best but I think you have had a lot more spiritual insights after that. Can you do a new video about the newest levels of awakening? Also some new techniques for sober inquiry would be really interesting
  2. Yes, I totally underline this, about Salvia. Salvia Divinorum can actually be a powerful nondual psychedelic, but it needs to be understood and mastered. I've done several light and medium trips with it. It has nice healing powers. But the best part is how it makes you realize how everything in the universe is "in your head", because that's the feeling that you get. The entire universe is some kind of content inside the context of your "metaphysical head". No other psych has given me this kind of insight. Really shocking.
  3. The first one is incredible... The concept and its color rendition are something really close to a talented human artist. That's insane
  4. Ok, thanks for the explanation, I still can't feel this boredom when I reach higher states, only attraction for the nondual state. In my direct experience I don't have the answer. I'm only certain of being "stuck" here in this no-place. It feels like my human life is a deep dark mystery. The only glimpse of answer I got was "I like the challenge of starting as a resentful loser and then becoming a loving and wise entity." Which is exactly why I have stopped resenting my victimized past and started feeling deep compassion for everyone. But... Yeah, in those peak states I feel like there's satisfaction in the challenge of "from loser to loving being". I've become such a bleeding heart since I've started spirituality 4 years ago, I can feel empathy even for insects (even though I don't like them and have a bias). Your question is really deep, it's no joke. It triggered this profound reflection, I needed to write it out to you all On some level it's hard because now I feel too much compassion and it's making me a people pleaser I know you might say "compassion it's just a dream bla bla", ok, I'm not arguing. But... yeah, I'm trying to convey what I can't convey. In those states, sometimes even during your "hand meditations/inquiries", I get that devastating feeling that I'm not here to fuck around with a useless commoner life. I'm here because I am special. Not in the egoic sense. I'm special in the selfless meaning. I'm special because I can grow from resentment and hurt (my past) to share compassion with everything. The process of feeling love for insects even though I have strong biases has shocked me precisely because I got it from your famous hand meditation Yeah, I really needed to write this out. It's a really really vast and intricate question.
  5. Have you felt this even in the higher states of god realization? I have felt so much satisfaction in my experiences of nonduality that I find it hard to believe. Is it even possible that the Godhead feels boredom? Boredom is a slight negative emotion, not a nondual state.
  6. It depends. My first time with 2C-B-FLY I was already experienced with LSD, and already have had some small spiritual insights. I got serious fear of choking, fear of death and deep anxiety on the come up. Like some kind of small 5-meo trip. At the peak I got powerful bliss states and cried a lot for the beauty of nature and life. So, yeah, it depends. I fear 2C-B-FLY trips, they are harder than LSD for me. I've had 4 trips of this compound and it evokes really strong emotions, sometimes shocking. I remember I was trying to remove the 2C-B-FLY from the body by going to the toilet (plugged) but it was too late. And it was not a big dose, around light-common, 10 mg.
  7. That's amazing! I have a decent experience with spiritual insights on psychs (40 trips) and even in some deep sober inquiries. Would you recommend a THC trip? Could it be beneficial?
  8. But I guess that after the death of this form there is no eternal black void. What happens if this form dissapears?
  9. Another feeling I often get is that it's just shapes moving, but the awakening process is not related to the forms moving around. It feels like a big eye, and this eye is all the human senses, and this eye is the whole universe watching itself. An eye made of different shapes watching themselves. Really weird but I get it only a few times and it messes with my psyche a lot.
  10. I can't, since I don't know myself as God in the present moment while writing this. It's a memory from a "past" experience where I contemplated the question. Of course the insight might be wrong, but I feel that psychs are nothing special, since i've had even some small oneness moments in my normal dreams. So it's not about the psychs but all about God's plans for the ego. Sometimes I feel like I have no other choice but to walk the spiritual path. But if you have a different experience I am open to hear it
  11. From my own experiences with psychs, it's not a paradox. Psychedelics seem to be just a form, like all the others. They are just dreamed up to be the enhancer of consciousness. In other words they are just a "plot device" to wake up more directly than classic spiritual techniques (which are also plot devices). I mean, there's nothing special in psychedelics. They are just chosen by God to fit that role in the story. At least that's what I have contemplated INSIDE a psychedelic trip
  12. I hope this is ironic. Spiritual seekers can get a lot of hate, especially when talking about God. Ironically the ego is deeply attached to the concept of God
  13. It's an interesting question, that I've explored several times. I don't know the definitive answer, but I know that during my psychedelic trips the answer is always the same: "Psychedelics are just a story, a fictional catalyst, for awakening." It's fascinating because it's all a story. Meditation, self-inquiry, breathwork, DMT etc.... It seems to me that God put these "devices" inside the story to create a path to self-recognition.
  14. Thanks, at least I'm not psychotic Before spiritual practice my life was quite anxious but made a lot of sense, it was just normal human life. Now there are moments of normal anxious human life, and moments where my memories are just a fictional story. Of course there is no God recognition, I'm too newbie, but anxiety/monkey mind is replaced with deep mystery and time suspension. It depends on the quality of the day. Peaceful days are more mysterious and time-warped. Stressful days make me dive deep into my human identity and story.
  15. I have a real question from my own personal practice (I tend to practice and contemplate daily). Is it normal to feel mindfucked or lost in a sense of void after 3+ years of practice? I also use psychedelics once every 2-3 months and got several Infinity and unconditional love glimpses. But I'm talking about sober states. I also get several timelessness small glimpses while sober and walking alone in the park, where time seems to have never existed for small moments (paradox). Or other times I have to ask myself what's my human identity because I start to feel merged with the flow of the present. Sometimes I look at a water glass (or random object) and it starts to feel like it's the only thing in existence. Just for a minute or two. Because before consciousness work I never had these moments of sober mindfuck, and they started to appear more and more frequently. Now I can get them almost everyday. Is this spiritual progress or a psychological problem? I feel deeply confused in my consciousness recently.