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MisterNobody

Jeff Foster is a genius

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"

WHEN YOU TRY TO FIX ME

“When you try to fix me, when you play the infallible ‘expert’ or ‘guru’, you unconsciously send a signal to me, to my nervous system, that there’s something wrong with me, that I’m broken and do not have the inner resources I need. That I can’t hold what I’m holding, can’t bear what I am bearing. That I am smaller than you, weaker, needier. That I know less. You play the expert to my beginner, the guru to my disciple. Even if you have the best of intentions, which I know you often do, when you try to fix me, and give me your answers, you treat me like a child. You don’t listen. You don’t trust. And that’s scary. I feel more alone than ever when you try to fix me. You split us in two.

Yes, when you try to fix me, you don’t trust me. But I am stronger than you know. I can bear more than you realise. I am more capable, more wise, more courageous than you give me credit for. I am shocked by my own courage!

When you stop trying to fix me you give me the space to grow. You give me the space to feel, to hurt, to tolerate and to process that hurt, to move through my pain into a deeper healing.

When you simply hold space for me, I can relax to fill that warm space. I can breathe more freely, held in your safe and loving arms. I can touch into my deepest trauma, find my courage, push myself a little bit into the scary places, start to tolerate the seemingly intolerable, bear the seemingly unbearable, and survive the intensity of the moment. I can start to prove to myself how strong I actually am.

When you simply stay present with me, I can move through my healing crisis, I can fall and be caught, break and be held, and I can learn to hold myself too.

When you simply listen, I can better hear myself. I can learn to trust my deepest intuition, my authentic feelings, my own body - and fill even the scary places within me with loving awareness.

My words are not drowned out by yours. My feelings are not replaced by yours. My dreams become clearer. My gut learns to speak up for itself. When you drop all your clever concepts, philosophies, answers, advice, fixes, and you just love me, I can learn to love myself, and trust myself, and hold myself as you hold me.

When you stop trying to fix me, I actually start to feel less broken! Here is the paradox of love, and the paradox of healing - two sides of the very same mystery.

So stop trying to fix me, and please, love me instead, be present with me as I heal…”

- Jeff Foster

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6 hours ago, Squeekytoy said:

Sounds like he's trying to fix everyone else. ? 

No, read it again. 

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It seems that he is just asking for a therapist, or maybe a girlfriend/therapist 

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is a little fox looking for business among people who feel alone, abandoned, unloved. Little son of a bitch

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all he does is give momentary comfort, and generate unrealistic and false expectations making you believe that what you need is unconditional human love to be completed. it's heroin in the form of words

Edited by Breakingthewall

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I listened to a bit of Jeff Foster some time ago, but then his health problems (was it Lyme disease?) knocked him back down a few pegs. His texts from that time made me question the depth of his awakening, he behaved like a 'normal human' in the face of suffering... nothing wrong with that, but not someone I would look up to in spirituality.

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@Squeekytoy read his books. try his first one: life without a center. you can find it for free. just type the name of the book followed by "pdf". give it a shot, you'll be blown even after 15 pages. dude's a genius. He was aware of nonnduality since 2006

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@Breakingthewall you have a very negative and pessimistic world view. you're very quick to judge. give his book a shot: life without a center, you can find it for free online. it will blow you away...

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@josemar he's so woke that he behaves like a normal human being. there's nothing wrong with that really

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6 minutes ago, MisterNobody said:

@Breakingthewall you have a very negative and pessimistic world view. you're very quick to judge. give his book a shot: life without a center, you can find it for free online. it will blow you away...

 I'm not pessimistic, i just said that it's not spirituality, it's human love, that is great and important, but he's talking about a guru, not a lover. But you are right, i judge just for one paragraph. Let's have a look of the book 

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Jeff's message is an antidote to spiritual bypassing, that's where his focus is.

He's not really concerned with awakening.

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Today I asked ChatGPT about a channel most similar to Actualized.org in terms of depth. It recommended Jeff Foster.

Well, actually it recommended Academy of Ideas first, but I asked for a more spirituality-oriented one.

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Y'all are really going crazy because @MisterNobody dared call the guy a genius. It's not that serious. 

@Squeekytoy Nice try, but no. You're simply not getting the message he's trying to convey in that text. See how I bring it to your attention without trying to fix you? Well, voila!

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On 3/19/2023 at 9:25 AM, Squeekytoy said:

He sounds like a beaten child begging for mercy. Which I guess we all are, and I'm not saying he's wrong, but that doesn't make mr. Foster any kind of genius.


 

This!!!! He could just...not seek any guru and be his own guru. Why are you complaining about someone try to fix you, that is what logic, which is what humans are primarily using to survive engage in. In one sense he is not wrong, don't try to fix people or yourself, he isn't even the first to say it...Allan Watts and other teachers say it all the time.

In truth you cannot be fixed, because you were never broken, so why are you complaining about others trying to fix you, let them!!! They do it because they believe themselves to be broken as well lol.


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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@Razard86 he is a guru himself. he was talking about his previous Guru persona when trying to help others. dude's deeper than you think. look into him

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Dude that's indeed genius. I have never seen a body of text better at making one aware of one's spiritual-ego which tries to fix others. To all those out there who want to help others who are not open to advice, this is how you do it. You provide them with a safe space and the freedom to fail, and see how they build themselves to a level where they now start looking for advice.

 

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I'm not that familiar with his work, but I did see this quote from him that really nails it for me, he's talking about something that isn't widely understood or appreciated even in communities like this one:

Quote

Our feelings are safe, no matter how intense they are. It is our tensing-up around our human feelings, our rejection and refusal of them, our unconscious efforts to destroy and annihilate and purify them inside of us, our shaming of our vulnerable inner life and the smothering of the inner child, which causes so much pain and suffering - not the feelings themselves.

This right here, this is something that really needs to be understood, because we are, after all, emotional beings, and therefore when we're emotionally repressed, we simply are not going to be able to fulfill our potential, have truly satisfying relationships, be a positive presence in the world, and know true peace and well-being. The mental realm may feel safe and familiar to people, which is why so many just resort to mental masturbation and endless speculation and theorising, but it's the emotional realm that really requires attention for most people.


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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