Passion of 10

[Lila9]

On 3/4/2023 at 0:35 AM, Something Funny said:

@Judy2, @Lila9

@Something Funny

Yes, beauty is relative and I have the same experience that you describe when my friend thought someone is attractive and I didn't and vice versa.

And there is such a thing as looking at a person who's good looking but it makes you feel nothing inside or looking at someone who has some quirks in his looks but it moves something within you.

The perception of beauty is much more complex than it seems and it also includes, in my opinion the vibes that a particular human gives you and your impression or intuition of him as a human and whether you can relate to that or not are also a huge factor in attraction.

I understand the nature of that and I don't mind to be someone's taste or not, I don't take it personally.

What bothers me in society and here in particular is the huge emphasis on our looks as women, whether we are considered beautiful or not by its standards, people tend to ignore who we are as people, we can be good people, we can be bad people but we are people at the end of the day with people problems, desires, dreams, preferences, and everything that is included in the package of what means to be a human. 

It's tiring as a woman to read that our value is limited to our looks and it gives the feeling that for a woman there's no point to do anything meaningful in life because we are our looks anyways, but it so untrue and we are much more than that, and things like personal and spiritual development aren't things that we can just bypass because someone thinks we are attractive. 

 

[Something Funny]

49 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

It's tiring as a woman to read that our value is limited to our looks and it gives the feeling that for a woman there's no point to do anything meaningful in life because we are our looks anyways, but it so untrue and we are much more than that, and things like personal and spiritual development aren't things that we can just bypass because someone thinks we are attractive. 

Yeah, I agree. But you have to understand that there are different people who are at different levels of development in life. Sure, there are men who only care about looks just like there are women who only care about your height or bank account, or sexual charisma. But that doesn't mean that everyone is like that.

Also, the kind of relationship you have with a man matters. If he is only interested in you for casual sex (like I assume is the case for the guy who started this thread), it makes sense that he isn't going to care for anything but your looks that much.

The truth is that not all people care or pay attention to their partner's level of consciousness or personal development. This is true both for men and women. You need to be quite developed yourself already to care about those things in a partner.

So if you don't want a man to only care about your looks and nothing else, you need to choose the right man and that means that you yourself need to care about something more than just raw attraction towards your partner.

[Lila9]

29 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Yeah, I agree. But you have to understand that there are different people who are at different levels of development in life. Sure, there are men who only care about looks just like there are women who only care about your height or bank account, or sexual charisma. But that doesn't mean that everyone is like that.

I understand that people are in different levels of development, I just wanted to point it out since we are all trying to be more conscious here, but as I realized, the same diversity in consciousness that exists irl exists here as well and it's something that I need to accept.

34 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Also, the kind of relationship you have with a man matters. If he is only interested in you for casual sex (like I assume is the case for the guy who started this thread), it makes sense that he isn't going to care for anything but your looks that much.

That's understandable, even though OP didn't mention his intentions and my words didn't refer to this post specifically. I just took a ride on Judy's words to express myself spontaneously.

44 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

So if you don't want a man to only care about your looks and nothing else, you need to choose the right man and that means that you yourself need to care about something more than just raw attraction towards your partner.

Raw attraction is deceive as I found. People can be physically attracted to each other but have nothing to talk about or relate to, it's quite delusional to expect something serious to happen based only on that.