Distinction between “shit-tests” and low quality women

[John Paul]

@NoSelfSelf okay… someone judges a woman.

you judge them as a weak man.

I could judge you as being a poor communicator. That probably wouldn’t feel good or be received well on your end. 
 

I never said anything about women being bad in my post. I was just attempting to define healthy mental boundaries.

[NoSelfSelf]

@John Paul judging women puts on a chain reactions and behaviours long before you even start talking to a woman and it spills over without you even knowing so no wonder they will treat you shitty,i put all acountablitiy on a man women doesnt matter...i mean it seems what im saying is flying over heads so ill stop here have a good one...

[John Paul]

@NoSelfSelf thanks for your contribution 

[NoSelfSelf]

@John Paul No problem ?

[Leo Gura]

@John Paul You'd have to provide specific examples.

Shit tests are something a girl might do in the beginning before sleeping with you where she is testing if you're man enough to handle her. It shouldn't be a thing afterwards. If you get bad behavior after sex then that's just her personality/character/level of development.

You can call girls out on bad behavior. That's called having values and boundaries. If a girl is doing something you don't like the best thing to do is just tell her, "I don't like that."

Edited December 22, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Tyler Robinson]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@John Paul judging women puts on a chain reactions and behaviours long before you even start talking to a woman and it spills over without you even knowing so no wonder they will treat you shitty,i put all acountablitiy on a man women doesnt matter...i mean it seems what im saying is flying over heads so ill stop here have a good one...

I have this same mentality. Only men who don't want to work hard in being stronger in their masculine keep judging women. 

It comes from a place of insecurity and lack. 

I have never seen fulfilled secure strong men complain about women. 

And what can a strong man not do? Can't he just reject the woman and move on to the woman he truly wants? 

What are these guys even complaining about? 

Seems like they just want an excuse to not do anything. Their focus is always external rather than internal. 

If they constantly judge women, they lose themselves in the rabbit hole of judgement. They don't even see how they are creating their own rabbit holes and traps. 

What a pity! 

[Roy]

9 hours ago, John Paul said:

Can we make a distinction between shit-tests and just low-quality behavior in women?

The way you deal with both of these is to be direct with them and call them out on it. If you play along or ignore it you are just enabling them to keep doing it. And they do it because they get rewarded for it. So be the higher quality guy that doesn't reward it. Remember you are the prize !

The women that deliberately play games and do shit-tests are usually the ones that will be a headache to be with. They've typically gone their wholes lives with such behavior and never got punished for it, especially if they are extra pretty.

From my experience with all the women I've been with I've found the best experiences are with women who don't play any of those games, obviously. They are way more chill and enjoyable to be around. You can actually spend time talking to them like a human being instead of jumping through hoops like a fucking idiot.

 

Edited December 22, 2022 by Roy

[Devin]

12 minutes ago, KH2 said:

HUUUR DUUR Me so strong and dominant that me no criticize women even if they deserve to be criticed HUUR DUUR

Exactly.

Edited December 22, 2022 by Devin

[Hello from Russia]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@John Paul You'd have to provide specific examples.

Shit tests are something a girl might do in the beginning before sleeping with you where she is testing if you're man enough to handle her. It shouldn't be a thing afterwards. If you get bad behavior after sex then that's just her personality/character/level of development.

You can call girls out on bad behavior. That's called having values and boundaries. If a girl is doing something you don't like the best thing to do is just tell her, "I don't like that."

Mhm

But even our homie David Deida talks about it non stop - that girls will be shit testing you 24/7 for your whole life essentially, unless you turn feminine and give up the whole dynamic

You think he is wrong? 

I found his words to kinda be the case in my relationship (s), but it could as well be I was with incompatible women too

It's very hard to distinguish between the two. Most women are kinda bitchy by nature

[NoSelfSelf]

@Tyler Robinson That's exactly on the money! they live on external identifying with what they are doing and whats happening outside of them  not with who they are,so everything thats happening outside is the cause...so its mentality she should immedietly spread her legs for them otherwise they will judge her(they just need to show up)but they judge her with wanting just sex from them basically calling them a slut...if they can see in them they will see they want only sex from them,which is a judgment in itself which will cause behaviours that will come of as creepy and then come here shit on women ??

[Kshantivadin]

Very good question. To be honest, I don't know. I'd say it's a matter of respect. If you get overly disrespected, that might indicate a low quality woman. 

I disagree with Leo and think it happens after sex too. Whenever a girl needs to test your frame, to see if you walk the talk, she will test you. Not tolerating disrespect is ironically one way of passing the test - being butthurt about it, though, just shows you're actually just pretending to be a high value man. 

I personally think this is an useful dynamic. Also, it seems to me that most tests are not deliberate. 

Edited December 22, 2022 by Kshantivadin

[Lila9]

I still haven't understood what shit test means, but what comes to my mind is that I test men, and I do it if I take them seriously and consider them to be part of my life. 

I do it because this is the only and the best tool that I have to see someone's true nature and protect myself from unnecessary pain.

I test whether his words align with his actions, I test his beliefs, thoughts and real emotions about me, I test his real intentions, I test his behavior with other women, I test how he treats me when I'm weak, I test how he treats me when I'm strong, I test what priority I'm in his life, I test his behavior with animals, with his family, service people, old people. I don't do it consciously, in fact, this thread made me realize that I do this unconsciously. I test because I want the best for myself, who doesn't?

More important, it helps me to check whether it's worthy and secure to be emotionally invested in this man, share my body life and soul with. 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2022 by Lila9

[TheGreekSeeker]

11 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

I still haven't understood what shit test means, but what comes to my mind is that I test men, and I do it if I take them seriously and consider them to be part of my life. 

I do it because this is the only and the best tool that I have to see someone's true nature and protect myself from unnecessary pain.

I test whether his words align with his actions, I test his beliefs, thoughts and real emotions about me, I test his real intentions, I test his behavior with other women, I test how he treats me when I'm weak, I test how he treats me when I'm strong, I test what priority I'm in his life, I test his behavior with animals, with his family, service people, old people. I don't do it consciously, in fact, this thread made me realize that I do this unconsciously. I test because I want the best for myself, who doesn't?

More important, it helps me to check whether it's worthy and secure to be emotionally invested in this man, share my body life and soul with. 

 

 

How would you feel if the man was overly suspicious of you too? Why does he have to win you? Why don't you both win each other? 

[Lila9]

1 hour ago, TheGreekSeeker said:

How would you feel if the man was overly suspicious of you too? Why does he have to win you? Why don't you both win each other? 

@TheGreekSeeker It doesn't come from a place of being suspicious because I want to torture random men. Or because I'm an evil woman.

It comes from that I got hurt and I paid the price for letting not suitable men to "enjoy" the good parts of me without doing a proper "research" about them. It was when I was naive about men, didn't know exactly what I want and didn't see and appriciate my value. But luckily, I'm a quick learner.

Now I know my worth, I know the value of the things I want to give to a man and I know what kind of a man I want in my life. A man who is geniune and suitable for me will easily pass the tests. And for those who won't, it's not a big deal, they wil find someone else who will be a better fit for them than I'm. 

Everybody deserves someone who is a good fit for them. I'm not a charity center. I know that this approach of treating myself as a charity center will backfire and hurt me. Many men and women treat themselves as charity centers and suffer because of this approach. 

Same for men, men should have basic standards too, I don't mind to be tested because it's only natural if he's seriously considering me in his life. It means that he has standards and that he cares enough to test me. He doesn't know me yet so why should he trust me? If I'm suitable for him I'll pass it without noticing, if not, it's ok to let it go.

In my opinion a problem arises when people test others not from pure intentions and beyond what is reasonable, in abusive ways much after the begining of the dating which is the only proper stage to do such tests because naturally you don't know the person yet and testing him helps you to find things about him (maybe things in his personality that even he isn't aware enough of telling you directly and you can't know until you spend some amount of time with him).

 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2022 by Lila9

[John Paul]

4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

In my opinion a problem arises when people test others not from pure intentions and beyond what is reasonable, in abusive ways much after the begining of the dating which is the only proper stage to do such tests because naturally you don't know the person yet and testing him helps you to find things about him (maybe things in his personality that even he isn't aware enough of telling you directly and you can't know until you spend some amount of time with him).

This is another thing I was hoping someone would relate to…

what do you think about family members testing each other?

[Tyler Robinson]

On 12/21/2022 at 11:30 PM, John Paul said:

@meta_male my post is kind of pointing toward women who are in a near permanent state of testing and who rarely surrender (including family and friends)

I think these are women who are drama creators. You're talking about some low quality women. Don't be around them. They can act negative and push others away on purpose. I have such women in my family and they are hard to deal with. They will do everything in their power to disrupt things. They will trigger and then see if you react to it and when that's not enough, they will keep pushing your buttons over and over. 

I call them "button pusher" women. They do this to always act superior and have a sense of entitlement. They don't test to know a person. They just want to know how much is going to be tolerated. 

I'm dealing with some of these kind of women right now. I had a girl in my family call me non stop and every time she calls me she calls for a fight.. 

It is extremely difficult to deal with these women. And you have to stay 10 feet away from them. They purposely start shit.

You should not even think about them much less analyze their behavior. Just run away from them because they will spread into your family like cancer. I know this from personal experience. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@John Paul one way of describing your situation is this - - no matter what you do, the woman is not satisfied, never satisfied right? So it always feels like she is testing you. If you try to do something positive, they turn it into negative, right?

These women are very unhealthy and they do that because they have never been specifically told that they are dysfunctional. They enjoy troubling others and they feel stimulated by the neurotic abuse of their power. I think the root cause of the problem with these women is power. When they lose power they feel upset

Another aspect of their behavior - they are always angry for no reason. Nobody actually upset them. Yet they will find a reason to be angry. 

You need to leave these women because even standing up to them doesn't work m

I remember my dad used to struggle with such women in his family. His sisters were like that. 

[John Paul]

@Tyler Robinson yes but… you will likely never know what this woman wants because she will never say it. Often times it may feel like the thing that she wants is to be unclear about what she wants and do whatever is possible to get attention and emotional response from you, like a black hole. She will use false desires that are selected to intentionally be traps.

not like a shit-test which can be passed 

[Tyler Robinson]

@John Paul you can't change such people. Just like toxic boyfriends. You have to leave them and find people who are less toxic. Nobody is perfect so you have to find people who are relatively healthy. These women are parasitic, in the sense they feed on your emotions constantly. That's not healthy.. 

If I were a man I would never date such women. If you make a family with them, it's the children who suffer because most of the time, such women make bad mothers. They are very demanding. 

[John Paul]

@Tyler Robinson this year for Christmas I’m getting gaslit