Pick-up is a trap.

[mr_engineer]

Pick-up cannot be used as a way to find love. And here's why. 

Most women are conditioned with an idea of 'love' by the movies, by rom-coms. They're looking for 'love' in that form. And, pick-up is the art/science of manipulating that to get laid. 

Even if you marry someone through this dating-strategy, chances are very low that this person will actually love or care about you. Because their idea of 'love' comes from movies. It's not actual love! And you will be stuck trying to continuously manipulate their perception of you, just to continue getting laid with them.

Is this a relationship you want? Where you cannot relax with them, you're on your toes all the time?! The 'companionship' will also be fake, by the way. 

And, on top of that, you will have to meet their exorbitantly high expectations that fit the definition of 'love'. Cuz the reality is that most of the heroes in rom-coms are rich narcissistic guys who the female protagonists are able to 'change', by playing some sort of jealousy-game or something. This is why we have more single guys than ever now, cuz they can't meet these expectations. 

So, what do you do to find love? You seek out women who are also doing some shadow-work and shedding some conditioning, where they're seeing through the illusion of 'love' that they're conditioned with. And they have an experience of actual love through enlightenment-experiences or something. And they are in the actual practice of love! 

And, if you really want to do pick-up, do it only if you're surrounded by unconscious women and you're just horny. It's not a reliable dating-strategy and you will have to progress past it to do genuine dating. 

[something_else]

What happens when the hot spiritual girl you love who's doing shadow work and working on herself thinks you're a creepy shy weirdo because you shit your pants when you try to talk to her?

The point of healthy pickup isn't really about getting laid, it's about learning to be a man and learning how to socialise, which is necessary to attract almost any girl

[Roy]

You're right pick-up (clubbing archetype) isn't optimal for forming healthy relationships, and it's certainly ripe for abuse. However for incels and other unlucky guys who didn't get socialized properly growing up, there really isn't any other option. They need a straight-forward, brutal manual on how to do that stuff.

Once you graduate high school and college, you won't really have an opportunity to learn it from socialization. Your family isn't going to teach you, and if your friends are also inept in socializing with girls - you're fucked.

The real trap is not doing anything at all. That's how you create those people that shoot up schools that you see in the news every month.

 

[Terell Kirby]

@mr_engineer have you even tried pick-up to have come to this conclusion?

If not, you might be projecting negative bias against it.

[NoSelfSelf]

But keep in mind gaining as much experience is key to master the skill so if you have alternative do that i just dont like guys that have phantasy that one day girl will come sky will open and everything will be ?

[mr_engineer]

@Terell Kirby I've tried pick-up, I figured out how to get to hook-point in different cultures. And when I finally saw what worked, where I currently am, I just got disgusted by the whole thing. Cuz I saw no hope of having a loving relationship through this medium. And I explain my conclusions above as to why that is. 

I would rather be single than waste my time doing this. Sex/mutual masturbation is not worth it. 

In the future, when my lifestyle changes and I have more opportunities, when the logistics are in order, I'll reconsider. When I have access to a better demographic of people. 

The reason I have hope is that I've seen better. And I don't see pick-up getting there any time soon. 

I can't do cold-approach. Social-circle works better for me. 

[Terell Kirby]

1 hour ago, mr_engineer said:

 

I can't do cold-approach. 

How come? Are your reasons based in fear?

Just challenging your thought process a bit, social circle is cool .. but it's often too indirect and your options can be limited

I find cold approach to be the most effective in getting quick results, sure it's challenging to walk up to strangers and let them know that you are interested, but each time you do it .. it builds confidence and self esteem through competence. It's essential to overcome fear of rejection to reap real benefits of cold approach.

I also disagree that you can't find a loving relationship through pick up. Cold approach and social circle begin with a common process: man meets woman, man expresses interest in woman, woman becomes interested through getting insight into mans personality. This is what leads to sex and relationships .. it's just cold approach is the more direct method.

[mr_engineer]

@Terell Kirby Come on. You took the one word 'can't' and assumed it's based in fear. 

Let me use a different word. I don't want to do cold-approach. You good now?! 

31 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

I also disagree that you can't find a loving relationship through pick up. Cold approach and social circle begin with a common process: man meets woman, man expresses interest in woman, woman becomes interested through getting insight into mans personality. This is what leads to sex and relationships .. it's just cold approach is the more direct method.

In an ideal world. 

In reality, though, women's conditioning of 'love' will warp and twist their insight into the man's personality. 

This can't work. To have a relationship that's actually loving. I'm not saying you can't get into relationships and get married through this, you can. It just won't be what you hope for. 

[Terell Kirby]

8 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Let me use a different word. I don't want to do cold-approach.

This train of thought can also be fear based. Fear is the source of all limiting beliefs.

In this case, fear of success in pick-up. Imagine getting the girl that you consider out of your league, and have her be head over heels in love with you. Scary right? That would mean your previous worldview would have to die somehow.

This can be done, but only through right action.

Edited August 15, 2022 by Terell Kirby

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

n this case, fear of success in pick-up. Imagine getting the girl that you consider out of your league, and have her be head over heels in love with you. Scary right? That would mean your previous worldview would have to die somehow.

Define 'love'. In your terms and her terms. 

[Jodistrict]

It’s the  whole concept of “pick-up” that is a trap.  I urge men to ditch this marketing gimmick and not use their childish terminology that will only set you back.   If you see a woman in whom you have interest then approach her and start a conversation.  Referring to it as “pick-up” and that it is “cold” is unnecessarily trapping yourself into a false paradigm.  Pick-up is a trap but talking to a woman is not a trap.

Edited August 15, 2022 by Jodistrict

[mr_engineer]

@Loba How do you know that you love someone? 

[Raze]

And what do you do when you find women who are doing shadow work?

[mr_engineer]

@Raze Rapport flows very easily with them. You can lead them, no problem. 

We, as men, love women's beauty. But, because most women are unconscious, they have self-worth issues, in that they are unable to see their own beauty. This is why women especially will talk a lot about self-love. And that's where the shadow-work comes in. 

When you have this kind of woman, you can hook them by being vulnerable about how you feel about them. And, they'll connect! Then, you can take charge of the masculine/feminine dynamic and take it in the right direction. No manipulation involved. 

In my opinion, this is the correct way to hook a woman to lead to a loving relationship. 

The alternative, though, in pick-up, involves fitting a certain image that women have been conditioned with through movies. Cuz that's their image of 'love'. That's what it takes to hook a woman in a club, for example. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Jodistrict You are onto something ????

[Leo Gura]

All women are attracted to the same stuff. Nothing is stopping you from falling in love with her after she sleeps with you.

Pickup easily converts to genuine dating. You can set up many dates. You don't have to do one night stands, you can collects dozens of numbers and instagrams.

[Tyler Robinson]

Pickup is like a weapon that you could use both consciously and unconsciously. 

When used consciously, you end up with a wholesome relationship, of course definitions are relative as always. 

When used unconsciously, you end up leading someone on, getting into them and then breaking their heart, basically bad karma that you don't want on your spiritual resume. 

Pickup is not a philosophy, it's a tool. 

 

[mr_engineer]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

All women are attracted to the same stuff. Nothing is stopping you from falling in love with her after she sleeps with you.

But LEEOOO, in order to have sex, you have to hook her, right? And, my issue is with the way pick-up hooks women. And, because a lot of the women in bars and clubs aren't very conscious (they wouldn't be there if they were conscious), the hooking-technique must be manipulative. Employing shallow techniques, like your style, your body-language, etc. 

I don't have a problem with fixing this stuff. My issue is with this being the primary way I'm hooking her. This leads to problems creating rapport. And, I do not see this hooking-technique as sustainable in a long-term relationship. The moment she grows, or her understanding of love deepens, the relationship with me will become toxic, cuz I will have to be avoidant to stay in this manipulative hooking-pattern! And that's how it'll fall apart. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer Hook her on you then there will be no problem but to hook her on you you need to deepen yourself but nobody is ready for that ?‍♂️ working on yourself pff pls ? wanna hook on everything but you weird how that works..

[Javfly33]

8 hours ago, something_else said:

What happens when the hot spiritual girl you love who's doing shadow work and working on herself thinks you're a creepy shy weirdo because you shit your pants when you try to talk to her?

 

Woah don't project your hate...

Also...pick up doesn't make you a man. You do. I've seen people that do pick up and they are still pussies. And Ive seen people that haven't done pick up ever and they exhibit "masculine traits" with no problem.