no one can abuse me, is that true?

[isabel]

the "abuser" is in their own world of pain, doing their thing to what they believe is another person but really they're only abusing themselves

and the "victim" is only abused if they believe that the abuser is actually talking about them but the abuser is literally only talking about an image that they have in their own mind/world so they are literally not talking about the victim, they never see the other person, they only talk about the image that they see which is made from their own mind/knowing

so you look at the abuser and see them hurting theirself, not hurting you

and the victim, IF they are a victim, is actually also the abuser because we can only abuse ourselves by believing that we are the image of the abused person that appears in the mind as a memory

and it's no one's fault

is this real? 

[Leo Gura]

I can abuse you. Wanna give it a shot?

[Tim R]

That sounds like one hell of a gaslighting strategy, damn.

[isabel]

31 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I can abuse you. Wanna give it a shot?

ok

[Tristan12]

37 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I can abuse you. Wanna give it a shot?

Sure! When do we start?

[isabel]

29 minutes ago, Tim R said:

That sounds like one hell of a gaslighting strategy, damn.

it could be lol but I'm not sure because I wouldn't use that against myself to stay in an abusive relationship or to convince myself that another person's behavior isn't abusive 

it means (partly) that all anyone knows of me is an idea, so what are they abusing? an idea?

[Gregory1]

53 minutes ago, isabel said:

the "abuser" is in their own world of pain, doing their thing to what they believe is another person but really they're only abusing themselves

and the "victim" is only abused if they believe that the abuser is actually talking about them but the abuser is literally only talking about an image that they have in their own mind/world so they are literally not talking about the victim, they never see the other person, they only talk about the image that they see which is made from their own mind/knowing

so you look at the abuser and see them hurting theirself, not hurting you

and the victim, IF they are a victim, is actually also the abuser because we can only abuse ourselves by believing that we are the image of the abused person that appears in the mind as a memory

and it's no one's fault

is this real? 

Completely agree.

[isabel]

4 minutes ago, Tristan12 said:

Sure! When do we start?

but me first, lol

[somegirl]

@isabel Cute little story.

Wonder why that type of approach isn't applicable in real life situations. Hmm.... Strange.

[emptiness dancing]

I'm writing this with the assumption you are talking about Byron Katie's The Work, because it seems like a quote that I've heard her say.

Byron Katie's The Work doesn't work from a third person perspective.
It is not a passive experience. It’s not a way to try to force yourself to feel peace, or love, when you don’t.

You've got to the work(inquiry) with kindness.

If you do it right, you will feel more empowered, and more able to see solutions and actions to your problems. 

Let say you are being abuse,
The solution isn't to say I'm not being abuse, I understand why the other person is abusing me, I'll let the other person abuse me.
It's not about denial or or pretending it didn’t happen

Rather 
Question your unfriendly thoughts.
I have no escape from this terrible situation I'm in... is it true? 
Once you're open, you can think more clearly, more creatively.

I didn’t speak up, I didn’t go to him directly, I smiled when in his presence and play-acted like everything was fine. 
I didn’t share my fears. I didn’t get support for myself. 
I stuffed things down. I gave the wrong impression. I didn’t look to myself with care, love and attention.

The best way to address the feeling of smallness, powerlessness, and being a victim of something or someone (including you) 
is to access your honest yes or no within, and practice saying it out loud.

So, no one can abuse me? Well, that is only a question that I (or you) can genuinely answer.

Some of the sentences I copied from https://workingwithgrace.com/

6 hours ago, isabel said:

it could be lol but I'm not sure because I wouldn't use that against myself to stay in an abusive relationship or to convince myself that another person's behavior isn't abusive 

it means (partly) that all anyone knows of me is an idea, so what are they abusing? an idea?

LOL? That is a great epistemic question. 

[itachi uchiha]

learn some martial art. ""bullys are imaginary"" is a delusional thought. if i hit u , u will be in pain. why do the shaolin budhist monk practice kungfu for 4 hours or more a day. think about that

[isabel]

10 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

learn some martial art. ""bullys are imaginary"" is a delusional thought. if i hit u , u will be in pain. why do the shaolin budhist monk practice kungfu for 4 hours or more a day. think about that

 

physical pain can happen but I'm finding that it's not necessary to label that as abuse and then suffer with that mental pain of being abused for years and years and the reason is because at this point the bully IS completely imaginary

[FlyingLotus]

An abuser whose abuse is allowed to continue is being abused.  

[Ulax]

@isabel Is this an enlightenment thing?

If it is I get what you're saying, but its a common trap with enlightenment thinking.

Sure if you're enlightened you'll be okay, but you're not, and the pain and suffering will be very real to you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It sounds like your psyche is using this as a means of dissociating from the pain in your life. I've done that myself

[Gregory1]

2 hours ago, FlyingLotus said:

An abuser whose abuse is allowed to continue is being abused.  

@FlyingLotus under your name it says "member plus" what does member plus mean?

[FlyingLotus]

16 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

@FlyingLotus under your name it says "member plus" what does member plus mean?

…to edit my old posts in these compilation threads

• Actualized.org Summaries
• ? Leo's Blog: Table of Contents ?
• ▶️ Blog Videos, Summaries & Interviews ▶️
• ? Actualized.org on Psychedelics ?

Edited February 1, 2022 by FlyingLotus

[Personal Shaman]

Obviously, you can be abused, you can get traumatised, and you can get hurt. The only thing you should not do is accept victimhood. Everybody is suffering unless of course, you learn how not to. But during incarnation on this planet, you accept to go through pain, suffering, pain, trauma, terror etc... It's all included in the ride. 

When you bring light, love, and acceptance to your reality you can notice that all this was not suffering at all, it was a necessary part of your authentic path, that your trauma led somewhere, and that's when the healing occurs. 

But miss me with turning the other cheek bullshit. It's only creating more darkness.