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About isabel

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  1. nothing. that's why I did a whole bunch of drugs and other things, I was for looking satisfaction I know what satisfaction is now, it's the absolute infinity, but I'm not satisfied because I've only glimpsed it, I'm at the beginning, I don't even know really what any of this is
  2. I first started doing drugs because I just didn't care about anything, so why not? there was never any reason for me to not do drugs as a child plus at that time I could not imagine doing something like going out to a movie, things like that seemed like such an incredibly boring waste of time why would anyone go sit in a boring movie theater when you could drop acid and watch the entire sky turn into a strobe light and then melt? I don't do drugs anymore and I now enjoy just simply watching a movie...but I am certainly still not satisfied with only that!
  3. how cool! what else have you been doing besides watching videos? do you watch others in addition to leo, meditate, what else? thanks!
  4. haha yes crying, laughing, both at the same time one time I was walking down the street and had a realization, I didn't laugh or cry that time I just yelled out "oh!" really loud and a lady who was walking her dog looked at me like I was a crazy person
  5. @PsiloPutty thank you! I stumbled on this because I was being challenged with negative thoughts I would try the breath and my mind wandered right back, but this is working wonders for me right now maybe this will progress to me being just with my breath at some point
  6. I repeat my favorite prayer in my mind as much as I can when I'm doing stuff like walking around, doing dishes, grocery shopping, etc. it's "thank you for everything, I have no complaints whatsoever" I repeat it quickly when thoughts are trying to take over my mind, it works when I'm calm I say it and then wait, and just look and feel until a thought comes then I say it again and wait if I can't sleep, I repeat it and I go right to sleep every time so far I'm pretty new to this, so I'm not good at focusing on the breath, I get distracted easily, this works for me very well sometimes it doesn't seem to do much but other times it brings me exactly right into the moment, I'm right there, just there sometimes I feel gratitude in my body, and sometimes I understand what it means to be thankful for everything (briefly)
  7. @i am I AM @WindInTheLeaf thanks for your help guys, that was kind of scary...
  8. does it mean that what I think about my child will be taken from me? meaning the way that I think will change, I'll see things in a different way as I advance
  9. Warning: All your beloved attachments are going to be taken away from you. my child is my most beloved attachment why does it say they will be taken from you?
  10. a lot of people think they can't get rid of their car when they actually can it's challenging but I'm in excellent shape from walking everywhere, I have more money, I feel complete freedom when I walk out the door, like I can go anywhere (and get drunk there if I want lol) there are buses, trains, ferries, taxis, bicycles...idk but I love being car free also products from china are the worst, everything is made there - if you ever have a choice choose not to buy products from china be as vegan as you can
  11. I took a nutrition class in college and in it we analyzed our diets, we just ate normally and then looked at the results, everyone in our class got pretty much exactly the right amount of nutrients that they needed each day naturally it's absolutely amazing that we are able to do this without even thinking about it! because there are quite a lot of different things we need in varying amounts from a lot to very little, it's truly amazing so I'm vegetarian and I'm slowly becoming vegan I'm just letting it happen naturally, I eat whatever I want but I naturally want to eat what is good for me and my environment I think that's best, just try to realize that and then whatever you do will be best for you
  12. same! I spent years arguing against the bible until I suddenly understood it from a different point of view
  13. all the time! I just daydream about it...but I guess I would be a nun not a monk or if not that then just living in a cheap little place out on one of the islands or in the forest...
  14. thanks you guys! I'll go over all these suggestions, sometimes it's easy and sometimes it is a lot of work thank you