bloomer

I am a virgin loser and here's my questions on Leo's "How to get laid" series

85 posts in this topic

@Danioover9000

On 11/25/2021 at 9:25 PM, Danioover9000 said:

Nah, I don't believe you. You are not a virgin loser. There's no such thing as a virgin loser when they're a bloomer. No way.

Sorry to break the news, you might need to take a seat for this, but yes, I am in fact a bloomer virgin loser.

@How to be wise

On 11/25/2021 at 8:32 PM, How to be wise said:

As I said, what’s important is to keep in mind that you can get laid at any time you want. You can choose when to have your virginity taken, not anybody else.

I don't just want sex I want a girl to want to be with me and I want love. Not some hooker whose only with me for my money and will treat me like a turd lol.

@Shin

On 11/25/2021 at 9:52 PM, Shin said:

A loser wouldn't try to become a better person ;)

Thanks. I did go to a bar last night. Alone, very nervous. I just sat by myself. I talked with some workers for a bit after a few drinks. Some girls asked me to watch their table twice which I did. They left a drink there and some keys (which I don't get cause why can't they just fucking pocket them and finish the drink). Why am I already an errand boy for them? I didn't talk to them really though was too nervous. I had a few drinks, two cigarettes, gave some guy a cig and then went home. 

 

I finished Leo's third video today as well. I started the day I made this thread but got distracted by all the posts this thread received so paused and didn't come back to it. So here's my notes.

"The dumber you act the easier it is to get laid."

Whole point of all this attraction work is to find the right girl that you can actually grow with and self-actualise with. Attraction is counter intuitive. A lot of the ways women are attracted to men are wrong. Being nice and showering her with attention, affection etc… or bragging about yourself does the opposite of attract her but actually repel her. Women respond best to narcissism and douche bag behaviours.

Women want a player who they can tame. The more of a player he is and the more options he has the less interested he is in being tamed. Women want to be the special girl for who she gave up all the other girls.

If you set the boyfriend material she will be less likely to sleep with you, you set the player material she will be more likely to sleep with you.

If you walk up to a random single girl and you're being attractive talking to her man to woman. You're going to reach hook point quick. Hook point means you can tell that she's interested in you as a sexual partner.

Signs of hook point

  • Allows you to touch her
  • Has her attention focused on you
  • The eye contact, enjoys when you make it also has difficulty maintaining it
  • She ask questions about you
  • She qualifies herself
  • If she says you're amazing (they never compliment without hookpoint)
  • She laughs at things you say that aren't even funny
  • She follows you around

Top principles of GAME

  • 1. Go out
  • 2. In field is king
  • 3. Law of state transference
  • 4. Men to woman communication
  • 5. Don't hide that you find her sexy
  • 6. Allow your true self to be rejected
  • 7. Attraction is not a choice
  • 8. Never logically sell yourself
  • 9. Approach a girl within 3 seconds
  • 10. Congruence
  • 11. Build up state through rejection
  • 12. Become comfortable in your body
  • 13. Never chase a woman
  • 14. Be willing to adapt and improvise (don't plan)
  • 15. Have standards
  • 16. Abundance mindset, don't be clingy
  • 17. Women don't invest at all till sex (don't invest in a woman emotionally until she's invested in you)

Remove any fear from your eyes. They will run away from you. That's the power of state transference. Attraction is not a choice, it's not logical. Arousal can't be negotiated. Women never fuck from logic. If a woman was in a logical mood her whole life she would never have sex.

Number one thing you can do besides just going out more and approaching (well that's two things) the number three thing you can do is be as emotional as possible. Disable all their logic, scramble the logic. Turn it off. Women want to feel feminine. Whatever comes out your mouth needs to be congruent with how you feel.

ACT LIKES SHES ALREADY YOUR GF

What all this is developing a neural network for how to deal with and attract women.

If you're in a low energy state don't lie and bullshit and be congruent. If you're shy admit you're shy, depressed admit you're depressed etc… Then you can build up your state from there.

Be completely at ease, not tense or in your head. Relax your body. When you're out you should be as comfortable even in a bar or club as you are at home.
WHEN YOU'RE OUT ONLY TRY TO HAVE FUN

Trust your intuition when talking to people. Don’t script what you say. Be chill, friendly, have fun.

It doesn't really matter what you say. Women aren't logically. Just say shit and don't really try to make sense. Connect with her emotions. Don't plan ahead, always be acting on hunches and be able to improvise.

Most results will come at the end of the night, because that's when girls look for a guy. Hold out. The difference between a good night and bad night can be razor thin so never let yourself off the hook.

Newbie Mistakes

  • 1. Not going out
  • 2. Victim mentality
  • 3. Don't obsess over your looks
  • 4. Not approaching
  • 5. Oneitis
  • 6. Too much theory (like this lol)
  • 7. No half assed approaches
  • 8. The lines you use don't matter
  • 9. Running out of things today
  • 10. Ejecting too early (force yourself to stay)
  • 11. Being too needy
  • 12. Being too nice
  • 13. Don't ask interview questions
  • 14. Don't be her formal boyfriend and courting (start the player frame, wait till she sleeps with you before bf shit)
  • 15. Don't be vulgar
  • 16. Don't brag and trying to look like a super cool dude (tell her you scrub toleits)
  • 17. Physically escalate soon (so it's not creepy later)
  • 18. When you make a move JUST DO IT (insert Shia LeBeouf meme)
  • 19. Don't hide your raw attraction to her
  • 20. Don’t me a dancing monkey, be chill and normal (don't be too much of a jester)
  • 21. Be socially calibrated (talk with her friends)
  • 22. Go for a close (don't just be there for phone numbers)
  • 23. Don't ask women for advice
  • 24. Don't buy women drinks (maybe buy a drink to avoid awkwardness)
  • 25. Don't give up early

Don't make excuses to not go out. None of the women are special or magically. Drop oneitis because that's not having an abundance mindset. Cocky funny.Same thing with a gf or wife. Same dynamics at play with attraction.


To find out if it's true go out and test it.

shia-la-beouf-just-do-it.gif

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@bloomer She won’t treat you like a turd, she'll treat you like a paying client. In life, you pay for anything valuable you want. Why is sex any different. 


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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@How to be wise

Just now, How to be wise said:

Why is sex any different. 

For the same reason it's illegal to buy a hooker. Because sex is important and primitive. Not something to so simply be given away in exchange for money despite it being the worlds oldest profession. 

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@bloomer Lol I don't see often people call themselves like "losers" with such detachment and unseriousness and playfulness ? that's really next level humor here. Very coool ??with this level of intelligence and confidence you should be able to get any woman you want ? 


Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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@bloomer You began this thread crying that you’re a virgin and you want someone to sleep with you. We’ve given you the solution, and you’re still whining, claiming that you’re above sex and want only true love! You need to be clear about what you want dude. You’re all over the place.


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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@Salvijus

2 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Lol I don't see often people call themselves like "losers" with such detachment and unseriousness and playfulness ? that's really next level humor here. Very coool ??with this level of intelligence and confidence you should be able to get any woman you want ? 

Yeah women really love it when you admit you're a pussy deprived loser lol. I don't give a shit honestly. I am what am I. My humour though isn't going to get the ladies knocking. Especially when its about how I can't get them.

tl;dr I'm a loser virgin reject and I hate myself 

@How to be wise

Just now, How to be wise said:

 You began this thread crying that you’re a virgin

First those weren't tears. I was only lubricating my face.

Just now, How to be wise said:

you’re a virgin and you want someone to sleep with you.

Correct.

Just now, How to be wise said:

we’ve given you the solution, and you’re still whining

Buying a hooker isn't a solution that I want. What's so hard to grasp about that?

1 minute ago, How to be wise said:

claiming that you’re above sex and want only true love!

No I just want a girl who's actually into me lol. Though I wouldn't turn true love. 

1 minute ago, How to be wise said:

You need to be clear about what you want dude. You’re all over the place.

I want to have sex with a woman who wants to have sex with me. Hopefully a relationship. Thought I was pretty clear. 

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3 minutes ago, bloomer said:

Yeah women really love it when you admit you're a pussy deprived loser lol.

That's not what I meant. I meant your ability to laugh at your situation and see it with detachment. That's a nice quality really. 


Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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38 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

You began this thread crying that you’re a virgin and you want someone to sleep with you. We’ve given you the solution, and you’re still whining, claiming that you’re above sex and want only true love! You need to be clear about what you want dude. You’re all over the place.

Buying a hooker is a terrible solution, especially to lose your virginity. There is a middle ground between buying a hooker and true love, surely you must see that??? You want someone who finds you attractive and wants to fuck you instead of someone who is forced by contract

The actual solution is learn to socialise, especially with girls. Maybe a hooker is a good solution for some but it is not sustainable and I suspect many who opt to lose their virginity to one regret it

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@Salvijus

33 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

That's a nice quality really. 

Thanks. 

@something_else

2 minutes ago, something_else said:

There is a middle ground between buying a hooker and true love

My point exactly. I just want that middle ground. 

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@bloomer

Quote

I've been alone and struggle to talk with people. I don't know how to go from 0 and to just throw myself out into the world with no experience and no skills.

Go to meetup.com & Facebook and search for events for socially anxious people.

Quote

I did go to a bar last night. Alone, very nervous. I just sat by myself. I talked with some workers for a bit after a few drinks. [...] I had a few drinks, two cigarettes, gave some guy a cig and then went home.

Congrats! How do you feel about having gone out and socialized?

Quote

Some girls asked me to watch their table twice which I did. They left a drink there and some keys (which I don't get cause why can't they just fucking pocket them and finish the drink). Why am I already an errand boy for them? I didn't talk to them really though was too nervous.

You project on them that they see you as an errand boy. What happened in reality is that they asked a person who wasn't busy to watch their table. You think the thought of being an errand boy. As Nahm said, that thought doesn't feel good. What about picking a thought that feels better like "People trust me to watch over their stuff"?

 

All the other things you said will autocorrect by being consistently social. Remember that no matter what you project on people, all people are approachable. When you make a socially uncalibrated mistake you will learn from it. Come to people from a state of "I give you _____".

For changing your self-image (from victim/looser to creator/winner) you can use visualization and affirmations including affirmations that you listen to while you sleep. The more time you spend with being & feeling that version you want to be the more you will feel & act like it. It becomes automatic. It works like magic. Commit to that for at least 3 months and then look back to where you have been.

Edited by Loving Radiance

Life Purpose journey

Presence. Goodness. Grace. Love.

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@Loving Radiance

On 12/1/2021 at 3:46 PM, Loving Radiance said:

Go to meetup.com & Facebook and search for events for socially anxious people.

I'll set up a facebook account today.

On 12/1/2021 at 3:46 PM, Loving Radiance said:

Congrats! How do you feel about having gone out and socialized?

Not much different honestly. I might go out again tomorrow and just have a repeat of the same last time.

On 12/1/2021 at 3:46 PM, Loving Radiance said:

What about picking a thought that feels better like "People trust me to watch over their stuff"?

Ah I don't know. Maybe that's better. But I'm on camera and don't look like the type to steal.

On 12/1/2021 at 3:46 PM, Loving Radiance said:

For changing your self-image (from victim/looser to creator/winner) you can use visualization and affirmations including affirmations that you listen to while you sleep.

Affirmations when I sleep?

On 12/1/2021 at 3:46 PM, Loving Radiance said:

Commit to that for at least 3 months and then look back to where you have been.

Okay sure. I have nothing better to do and nothings getting better if I don't try.

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Just now, bloomer said:

Affirmations when I sleep?

You can buy one of those night time eye covers with a built in blue tooth speaker. 

When you are in deep sleep your brain is the most receptive to new ideas, thoughts, beliefs. If you play subliminal binaural beats at night with a particular topic I believe it can help shape your reality with respect to that topic.

When I listen to these at night with my eye cover, I can feel my brain being worked, and I've had noticeable changes a few hours after using the subliminal affirmations.

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33 minutes ago, bloomer said:

Affirmations when I sleep

Right now I do affirmations for abundance and my experienced quality of daily life has risen since 2 weeks. Maybe it works for you too. Let's see.

33 minutes ago, bloomer said:

Okay sure. I have nothing better to do and nothings getting better if I don't try.

This mindset is good. Do you remember the video Life Unfolds In Chapters & Phases? Experimenting with everything is the best thing to do when you are starting.

Edited by Loving Radiance

Life Purpose journey

Presence. Goodness. Grace. Love.

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@Loving Radiance

28 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

Do you remember the video Life Unfolds In Chapters & Phases?

Yeah I'm a big fan of that video. Hopefully I'm turning a new chapter soon.

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On 11/27/2021 at 10:52 AM, bloomer said:

Some girls asked me to watch their table twice which I did. They left a drink there and some keys (which I don't get cause why can't they just fucking pocket them and finish the drink). Why am I already an errand boy for them? I didn't talk to them really though was too nervous.

There's a good chance they were hitting on you, or at the very least they created an opening for you to talk to them. 

For any guy who's trying to socialize with women, it's a good idea to figure out the cues women use to get guys to approach them.

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26 minutes ago, FlyingLotus said:

There's a good chance they were hitting on you

 

Sounds right to me... :)

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@FlyingLotus

45 minutes ago, FlyingLotus said:

There's a good chance they were hitting on you, or at the very least they created an opening for you to talk to them. 

Maybe but I know I would have scared them off if I opened my mouth. 

I was also too few drinks in. 

 

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@FlyingLotus Is it weird that I’m the type of guy who woulda pocketed the handkerchief so I could enjoy whatever trace amount of feminine pheromone  that might be on it?

5 hours ago, bloomer said:

@FlyingLotus

Maybe but I know I would have scared them off if I opened my mouth. 

Are you me?

5 hours ago, bloomer said:

I was also too few drinks in.

Like Leo says, try to get used to sober game. As brutal as it is, ya gotta fight through the pain and persevere if you want to make any significant progress.

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