How to deal with girls wanting favors and treats

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, ivankiss said:

It is my absolute joy and pleasure to treat the girl I'm seeing, take her out for nice dinners, buy her cute, little presents, etc

You really buy them cute little presents ? Oh that's really nice of you. That's so cute, I wish I would get a guy like that. 

[Emerald]

8 hours ago, flowboy said:

It's very simple.

I say: "Let's go here and you can buy me an ice cream" (you have to be able to say that in a normal casual way, and be willing to walk away if she protests. Cause that means she's a low quality person anyway)

She says ok.

We get the ice cream.

I wait for her to pay. She does, because it's already packed into how I worded the date proposal.

Super simple

 

In practice, I haven't done this recently because I found that girls just offer to pay by themselves. I guess because I don't radiate desperation anymore. I also don't attract girls who do that shit.

But it's a good habit for in the beginning.

Don't do it every time that you see the same person. Only the first time, so she knows you're not a sucker. After that you can take turns paying for stuff.

If a man asked me to buy him ice cream on a first date where he's supposed to be courting me, I'd go ahead and do it because it's super cheap. 

But I certainly wouldn't go out with him again. That would be a red flag that he's looking for a sugar mama or that he's stingy or broke. 

I don't even feel comfortable on a date if a man doesn't offer to pay. That can be a red flag as well.

Now, it can mean that he's some feminist guy or something like that who is all about breaking down gender norms, which is okay as this shows he lives by certain principles. 

But most often, not offering to pay for the date, means that he doesn't really want to invest in the woman. He wants something for free.

And it isn't about the money. I have plenty of money. I can buy my own food. It's really about him putting his best foot forward. 

So, I'd honestly just skip that guy. It wouldn't sit right with me.  

Edited July 29, 2021 by Emerald

[Zeroguy]

Bunch of hypocrites and lairs .Well tell em "you love 'em" .Sure.

Love ya my "brother" equally as them.

One more thing if I am about to have gf who is with me because of money well I will take a lot more beautiful and younger. 

So don't "celebrate" to soon.

 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Peter Miklis]

1 minute ago, ivankiss said:

@Preety_India Yup. I even used to have a problem with that. Going a bit too overboard, being used, etc. 

But I balanced things out. It's all natural and healthy now. I even treat my fuck buddies. Not just girlfriends.

The difference between your claims, and some of the women's claims here, is that you are only buying presents and wine and dine in a balanced way. Which is all fine and dandy, that's how it's supposed to be done. Authentic gifts here and there, comming from a place of abundance, not scarcity.

But women here literaly set it up as a list of standards that should be checked off, in order to get them. Which is something else entirely. It honestly smells strongly of narcisism and daddy issues here, and there's no way you, me or any other self respecting man would put up with that shit. I honestly feel shocked that it actually works, and some millionares are willing to do this? they probably view the woman as more valuable if they invest into her or some shit, idk? rich people tend to be weird sometimes?

[Jacob Morres]

23 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I don't even feel comfortable on a date if a man doesn't offer to pay. That can be a red flag as well. It can mean that he's some feminist guy or something like that who is all about breaking down gender norms.

 

You don't like questioning gender norms? in fact, it's probably conscious and wise. it serves women less so it's beneficial in general 

 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Jacob Morres said:

what's wrong with questioning gender norms? in fact, it's probably conscious and wise. it serves women less so it's beneficial in general 

 

That's not what I was saying. I'm good with him questioning gender norms.

I was saying that SOMETIMES it's a feminist guy (which is fine) but MOST TIMES it's a guy who's just looking to get things for free. 

[Peter Miklis]

9 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Peter Miklis Honesty, I did not read every single comment in this thread, but I get what you mean.

Again; if I was to encounter a girl that has ridiculous, unrealistic standards and comes off as way too entitled, arrogant, etc... - I'm out. It's just a huge turn-off.

I prefer humble women who know what they want, but do not demand anything.

I would only spoil a woman with whom I'm veery closed to. Like, almost wife/husband type of relationship. If I could afford it, why not? I would take her ass to 5 star restaurants everyday, no problem? but I would have to trust her, and she'd have to bring some additional value, other than sex. Those are the biggest caveats.

Edited July 29, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[Jacob Morres]

16 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That's not what I was saying. I'm good with him questioning gender norms.

I was saying that SOMETIMES it's a feminist guy (which is fine) 

yeah - but you alluded it to being a red flag but i was arguing for the fact that it's a gender norm where the guy has to pay for the girl. it's a form of inequality is it not?  

Edited July 29, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Emerald]

Just now, Jacob Morres said:

yeah - and you alluded it to being a red flag but i was arguing for the fact that it's a gender norm where the guy has to pay for the girl. but it's a form of inequality 

And that's okay if a guy really believes that. 

But courtship-wise, I prefer a more polarized mating dance where I am the receiver and he is the giver. That's why I like for a man to be the one that pays. 

I like it when a guy is in his masculine energy and pays on the first few dates, holds open doors, drives, puts in the order for us, etc. It just feels better to me as it makes me feel taken care of. 

Now, in terms of dating a guy who's very resistant to fitting any gender norms, it's not like I'd immediately disqualify him from my consideration.

But it would probably decrease the polarity and attraction a bit. I really respond to the polarity as those elements of the traditional gender roles really resonate with me.

But I can also empathize with the viewpoint that gender roles should be dismantled.

[Peter Miklis]

@ivankiss Excuse me then. Poor choice of words?

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, Zeroguy said:

I know you want it, That's enough for fat netflix watching incel. 

I am always deprived of what I am wanting in love affares. I guess, it´s my karma, my path of love, my mission. To learn to love the whole universe and not just one guy. And Leo should learn to do without caviar.

P.S: I just recalled. One guy on that vacation bought as drinks and after that he wanted us to learn his wife. We went into his hotel room. And ta-ta! There was his wife sleeping. He woke her, because he wanted her to learn us. We were sitting together at the table and eating peaches and grapes. And the guy was so happy that he invited us for dinner in the restaurant . We 4 had a glamorous dinner in the evening. And the drinks! And that was it! We never quite understood, what it was, but it didn´t bother us, as long as we could have our drinks. Maybe his wife was also on the path of love

[Zeroguy]

 @Vzdoh

 

@Hulia I am on path of getting rich. 

Path of love... completed that crap and healed from that shit. 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Hulia]

56 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Of course women don't owe me sex. And I do not owe them anything, either.

Still; I give and I recieve.

It is my absolute joy and pleasure to treat the girl I'm seeing, take her out for nice dinners, buy her cute, little presents, etc. I'm not doing any of that to get sex. At least not directly. I do it because I like it. It feels good, to both of us.

You could be such an excellent PU coach! You have such a right approch to get almost every woman in your bed! All the guys here should catch every single word your prescious fingers are tipping! 

[Hulia]

4 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

 @Vzdoh

 

@Hulia I am on path of getting rich. 

Path of love... completed that crap and healed from that shit. 

Sorry to tell you, but you won´t get there.. As long as I am not ready with loving the whole universe. Fucking path of love.

[Hulia]

6 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Peter Miklis  Rock on!

@Hulia If you were to actually meet a guy who would know how to treat you like the Goddess that you are, would you be able to recognize and recieve those gifts? 

What gifts? If he just would love me...

[Zeroguy]

8 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Sorry to tell you, but you won´t get there.. As long as I am not ready with loving the whole universe. Fucking path of love.

Hahahahahahahaha. 

Still don't understand whom these guys are trying to BS. 

 

[Average Investor]

I recall always seeing a lot of stuff where guys would be bringing stuff to girls at work etc. I had one girl I did that for with coffee and stuff. It never really sat well with me since there was no actual investment in a date or anything on their part. I have actually stopped talking with girls who wanted me to buy them stuff and drop it off to them. On a date it would not really bother me though I suppose. I can be a bit cheap, but under $30 or so for them on a first date or something is fine with me. It's doable without money though. If that part of it bothers you. There is a lot of free stuff out there that is fun too. 

I suppose my main issue would be their choice of foods haha. 

 

[flowboy]

A lot of this comes down to cultural differences.

I'm Dutch. We like to split things.

And the women here are eager to prove that they are independent and can take care of themselves.

That doesn't mean that I will ask her to pay half of the 14 euros we spent at a cafe. No.

That would be cheap.

But we do take turns paying for stuff.

Letting the woman pay, at least sometimes, is a statement of respect, and a message that you don't see her as an object but as a person.

If I go on a date where there is multiple things we do (for example, first ice cream, then coffee, then movie or whatever) and if I try to pay for all of those, the girl will get offended or worried because it looks like I'm trying to buy her like a prostitute. Or she'll feel guilty and insist that she pays for the next thing.

It's easy to have a situation where it seems like a certain outcome of the night is expected, because one person is paying for everything.

This seems transactional and is to be avoided (where I live), because it makes the women feel cheap and like sexual favors are expected.

Much better to let her pay some stuff too, so that she doesn't feel pressure to "put out".

 

That's my experience.

Apparently in different regions, there is women who find it really important that the man pays for everything.

Personally, that would be a turnoff to me.

Because to me, it seems to imply that she's the prize and I have to beg her and be on my knees to please spend more time with me. Either that, or she's a housewife from the fifties. Or she's not grown up yet, and is looking for a new dad.

I don't do that shit

She gets to hang out with me, which is valuable in and of itself.

And there's no "me courting her". I don't do that shit either. It's old-fashioned and yucky.

It's an interplay. Sometimes I'm in the lead, sometimes she is.

We are both the prize, enjoying the dance of figuring out whether we fit.

Edited July 29, 2021 by flowboy

[Peter Miklis]

3 minutes ago, flowboy said:

I'm Dutch. We like to split things.

So much so, that the phrase "going dutch" was created to describe that phenomenom?

I envy you guys?

[Mason Riggle]

11 hours ago, StarStruck said:

So I took this girl for ice cream and she said she also want a hamburger and 5 minutes later she also wanted fries and then something else. 

My intention was just to buy ice cream. I bought her a hamburger out of niceness but then she wanted more and I said no but it kind of killed the mood a little bit. 

How could I handle this situation in the future? I think she sensed I was a nice guy. 

Instead of saying 'no', perhaps you could have used it as an opportunity to be flirty.. 'fine, I'll get you a burger, but you're gonna owe me *wink wink* (you have to do in a joking, non creepy way.. like you don't actually expect anything in return, but you're letting her know you see what she's doing, and you can do it too)..