Female Red Pill Subreddit

[Peter Miklis]

@Parththakkar12 I mean, in an ideal society, everyone takes 100% responsibility of everything they can control. So in this scenario, both woman and man would be held accountable for the rejection.

Edited June 23, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[Parththakkar12]

Just now, Peter Miklis said:

@Parththakkar12 I mean, in an ideal society, everyone takes 100% responsibility of everything they can control. So in this scenario, both woman and man would be held accountable for the rejection.

I don't get how the man is accountable for the rejection. As the guy, the rejection is something happening to you! You have no control over it.

[Raptorsin7]

@Parththakkar12

1 minute ago, Parththakkar12 said:

I don't get how the man is accountable for the rejection. As the guy, the rejection is something happening to you! You have no control over it.

The rejection is partially based on the person's character, looks, attitude etc. All different factors that a person can take responsibility for, all of which come together and impact whether a woman chooses you or not.

[Peter Miklis]

@Parththakkar12 He does have control over it though. He has an option to make himself more attractive and likeable, thus minimizing the chance of rejection. The rejection will always be there of course, some women will just never like you no matter what. That's woman's side of responsibility in this situation.

[Etherial Cat]

7 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

No, responsibility is the 'ability to respond' or the choice to do something.

Not in the context induced by your post.

The responsibility you talked about was an accountability type, similar to what one asks after being done wrong by someone.

It has nothing to do with the "ability to respond" or "choice to do something" you find within self-help.

14 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Do you see accountability as abuse, by any chance? Is that like this unwritten female standard?

Your stawmaning my point.

17 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Yeah, well, that would be the appropriate thing to do.

[Windappreciator]

50 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

 

Responsibility is something one has whenever one's fault or action has contributed to a loss. 

*Could* contribute, cat.

[Parththakkar12]

10 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Not in the context induced by your post.

The responsibility you talked about was an accountability type, similar to what one asks after being done wrong by someone.

It has nothing to do with the "ability to respond" or "choice to do something" you find within self-help.

To be clear, I did not say that rejection is abuse.

And, I did mean the use of the word 'responsibility' in the way I defined it. I didn't mean it in the sense of holding the other person accountable for a wrong-doing!

[Etherial Cat]

13 minutes ago, Windappreciator said:

*Could* contribute, cat.

Oh? Are we responsible as well for an injury if it's not realized?

13 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

To be clear, I did not say that rejection is abuse.

And, I did mean the use of the word 'responsibility' in the way I defined it. I didn't mean it in the sense of holding the other person accountable for a wrong-doing!

If you don't think women are wronging you, then why are you asking for responsibility?

I think it's just likely that you haven't been thinking through the concept of responsibility and I'm pointing stuff that are flying over your head here. 

Also, I don't think you mean responsibility in the way you defined it. If you proceed to a subsumption and replace it by "ability to respond" or "the choice to do something" it doesn't make any sense.

[MatteO22]

@Etherial Cat I don’t have much to contribute to the debate, I just wanna say - you go girl! ? I admire the free unapologetic expression you bring through! It feels very empowering, regardless of the subject matter. 
 

You’re clear and direct but you’re not hostile which is amazing! Love it! Thank you.  

[Parththakkar12]

17 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

If you don't think women are wronging you, then why are you asking for responsibility?

Because, when you ask them the question 'Why are you rejecting me?', the answer will be something along the lines of 'because there's this, that and the other thing wrong with you'. Look at this forum, for Christ's sake!

The narrative tends to be along the lines of 'You get rejected because there's this, that and the other thing wrong with you. That's why you're not good enough!' I have sorted through a lot of crap like that while being radically self-honest, only to find that it's not true!

This is to first do the rejecting and then blame the other person for the fact that the rejection happened. I'm not saying that rejection is a wrong-doing, but it does suck nonetheless and it's not a favorable outcome.

What's really going on behind the scenes here? Why the criticism and hate? Am I the only one who sees the elephant in the room here?

18 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I think it's just likely that you haven't been thinking through the concept of responsibility and I'm pointing stuff that are flying over your head here. 

Also, I don't think you mean responsibility in the way you defined it. If you proceed to a subsumption and replace it by "ability to respond" or "the choice to do something" it doesn't make any sense.

If you don't mind, could you please substitute the term 'responsibility' in my first post with the definition of it that I used? You'll see what I mean!

Edited June 23, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[MatteO22]

1 minute ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Because, when you ask them the question 'Why are you rejecting me?', the answer will be something along the lines of 'because there's this, that and the other thing wrong with you'. Look at this forum, for Christ's sake!

If you’re suggesting that self-responsibility means rejecting someone and fully acknowledging that the reason you are rejecting them is because of your personal needs, preferences and desires and it’s not because the person being rejected is ‘beta, fucked up, ugly, unattractive or dull witted’ then you have a point. Regardless to phrase something as ‘taking responsibility for rejection’ is almost suggestive that you should not be rejected and you should be entitled to a relationship with any woman you chase. Which of course is bananas. I think that’s where the misunderstanding might be. 

[Parththakkar12]

2 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

If you’re suggesting that self-responsibility means rejecting someone and fully acknowledging that the reason you are rejecting them is because of your personal needs, preferences and desires and it’s not because the person being rejected is ‘beta, fucked up, ugly, unattractive or dull witted’ then you have a point. Regardless to phrase something as ‘taking responsibility for rejection’ is almost suggestive that you should not be rejected and you should be entitled to a relationship with any woman you chase. Which of course is bananas. I think that’s where the misunderstanding might be. 

Precisely! 100%

[Etherial Cat]

9 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

@Etherial Cat I don’t have much to contribute to the debate, I just wanna say - you go girl! ? I admire the free unapologetic expression you bring through! It feels very empowering, regardless of the subject matter. 
 

You’re clear and direct but you’re not hostile which is amazing! Love it! Thank you.  

Thank you. 

I've learned a lot through reading other forum members, especially @Emerald. She's the real master of the craft. 

Unfortunatelly, I do get hostile from time to time. I always see it as a failure when this happens. I still have a lot to learn before I'm satisfied with the way I engage with other fellow human beings.

[MatteO22]

1 minute ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Precisely! 100%

The thing is, it’s not only women who attribute rejection to a faulty character trait in a person. It’s men as well. Men call themselves and each other beta and what not. So it’s more of a matter of taking responsibility for your own internal dialogue than needing women to clear themselves of projections - because their projections will only hurt you when there are parts of you that agree with them. This isn’t to justify their harshness, but to bring awareness to the signs your own pain might be telling you. 
 

4 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Thank you. 

I've learned a lot through reading other forum members, especially @Emerald. She's the real master of the craft. 

Unfortunatelly, I do get hostile from time to time. I always see it as a failure when this happens. I still have a lot to learn before I'm satisfied with the way I engage with other fellow human beings.

That’s all good. Everything is a learning curve. I find you different from how Emerald expresses herself. You seem to speak from your heart more often than not. I think Emerald can hold back her emotions and get overly analytical/technical which I think can be a bypass to your own emotional body, and to overuse the mind and somewhat repress the heart. I hope I’m not putting her on the spot, I’m aware that me and her have had minor differences and I dont intend this to sound passive aggressive. Not at all. But in a place dominated by the mind (mainly Leo being an analytical mind based person) it is refreshing to see a courageous heart making its way towards freedom and expression. 

[Etherial Cat]

51 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Because, when you ask them the question 'Why are you rejecting me?', the answer will be something along the lines of 'because there's this, that and the other thing wrong with you'. Look at this forum, for Christ's sake!

The narrative tends to be along the lines of 'You get rejected because there's this, that and the other thing wrong with you. That's why you're not good enough!' I have sorted through a lot of crap like that while being radically self-honest, only to find that it's not true!

At the end of the day, the rejection itself is the only answer you need. 

It tells more about the other person than it tells about you. It's just not a match. Both subjectivities do not align.

51 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

This is to first do the rejecting and then blame the other person for the fact that the rejection happened. I'm not saying that rejection is a wrong-doing, but it does suck nonetheless and it's not a favorable outcome.

What's really going on behind the scenes here? Why the criticism and hate? Am I the only one who sees the elephant in the room here?

But the person has the choice to reject you or not. Loving someone is respecting its free-will...

You can't be angry at someone for refusing to accept you when you do the same right after. You're rejecting as poorly the rejection, and it shows that there is no healthy dynamic happening there. You're coming off as very needy and conditional, coming from this perspective.

Yet, I get that the reason why is that you feel deeply hurt and you really want affection. But your emotions seems to kind of have festered and turned into anger. Working on this could really help, I think. 

51 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

If you don't mind, could you please substitute the term 'responsibility' in my first post with the definition of it that I used? You'll see what I mean!

I had already done it.  

I have spent a lot of time studying responsibility within the academic context (law school/philosophy), so I'm having a hard time combining your take on it with my perspectives on the subject.

Edited June 23, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[Etherial Cat]

39 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

That’s all good. Everything is a learning curve. I find you different from how Emerald expresses herself. You seem to speak from your heart more often than not. I think Emerald can hold back her emotions and get overly analytical/technical which I think can be a bypass to your own emotional body, and to overuse the mind and somewhat repress the heart. I hope I’m not putting her on the spot, I’m aware that me and her have had minor differences and I dont intend this to sound passive aggressive. Not at all. But in a place dominated by the mind (mainly Leo being an analytical mind based person) it is refreshing to see a courageous heart making its way towards freedom and expression. 

You're right about the learning curve. As long as there is some progress, I'm very content! 

Yeah, you might have a point when it comes to my tendency to speak from the heart. I didn't realize it, but there is definitely a lot of heartly talk oozing from me.

I like to see myself as a rational- mind oriented creature as well. But sometimes, I just want to explain things for a heart perspective when I feel like the mind perspective is trapped into some masturbation or the information doesn't circulate fast enough in this way. 

[MatteO22]

3 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Yeah, you might have a point when it comes to my tendency to speak from the heart. I didn't realize it, but there is definitely a lot of heartly talk oozing from me.

Great! Means we can meet and connect heart to heart ! ?

[Parththakkar12]

4 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

At the end of the day, the rejection itself is the only answer you need. 

If all I wanted was sex/an outcome of some sort, then you'd be right. Rejection would be the only answer I would need. But, as someone who wants to grow the relationship or rather, as someone who prioritizes the truth and growth over the result/outcome, the why-question does become important!

8 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

It tells more about the other person than it tells about you. It's just not a match. Both subjectivities do not align.

If I get some crap like 'I'm rejecting you for this, that and the other thing that's wrong with you', what does that tell me about the other person? Come on, I want to hear it from you.

12 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

But the person has the choice to reject you or not. Loving someone is respecting its free-will...

You can't be angry at someone for refusing to accept you when you do the same right after. You're rejecting as poorly the rejection, and it shows that there is no healthy dynamic happening there. You're coming off as very needy and conditional, coming from this perspective.

Yet, I get that the reason why is that you feel deeply hurt and you really want affection. But your emotions seems to kind of have festered and turned into anger. Working on this could really help, I think. 

Well, there we go again! Proving my point.

My problem is not with the rejections themselves. My problem is with the bullshit narratives behind them! The truth gets suppressed as a result of this. Which is pretty serious.

[Etherial Cat]

2 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

If all I wanted was sex/an outcome of some sort, then you'd be right. Rejection would be the only answer I would need. But, as someone who wants to grow the relationship or rather, as someone who prioritizes the truth and growth over the result/outcome, the why-question does become important!

If the person is open to share with you why it doesn't feel like engaging further with you, then you can shoot for it.

But the rule is : this person doesn't owe you an explanation. If he/she does it, it's already an extra.

6 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

If I get some crap like 'I'm rejecting you for this, that and the other thing that's wrong with you', what does that tell me about the other person? Come on, I want to hear it from you.

It tells you that this person is not into you. Whatever its reasons are.

And that person's reasons are not your problem. It's not personal.

9 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Well, there we go again! Proving my point.

My problem is not with the rejections themselves. My problem is with the bullshit narratives behind them! The truth gets suppressed as a result of this. Which is pretty serious.

What bullshit narratives?

[Parththakkar12]

51 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

What bullshit narratives?

You have a bad mindset, you have a bad personality.

I don't buy the whole 'bad personality' thing because there are plenty of guys with horrible personalities who have relationships!