StarStruck

Being a nice guy versus being an arrogant dickhead

29 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

So I experimented with these two modes. 

Niceness = wanting something from her, through being nice

Arrogant = not wanting something but just expressing your manhood

Women can be really mean towards a nice guy, not give him the light of day, or just be outright rude or treat you like dirt. 

Of course not all women, there is also a category of women that are nice to you (if you are a nice guy) and then just bounce off when they are done with you, tell you they have a bf, in a hurry or something. 

Am I making the right observations here? I don't get why women on this forum and elsewhere keep telling men to be nice. It really doesn't work. Especially with day game it doesn't work. Perhaps for social game or women that are looking for a beta provider guy it might work. 

Most guys aren't bad. They are just too nice.  They need to drop the bs and just be raging dicks but the key is this: be a raging dick in passive mode, not active mode. It is a way of being, not a way of doing!!!

Of course this topic is about about ATTRACTION phase of seduction. There is also a VIBING phase where it is important to emotionally connect to her. Vibing is a later stage, first you need to get a chance with her to be able to vibe. 

The thing is: when I'm nice with women, they cringe and don't give me a chance. When I'm a dick, they get attracted and they talk to me. I can clearly see signs of interests when I'm a dick (in a passive calibrated way!). 

Do you think it has to do with me or with women in general?

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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@StarStruck

There's a difference between being an arrogant dickhead and being a complete asshole. I hope you don't mean the latter. Being a bit punky and a bit rough and tumble is good around women, they see it as macho, women have been conditioned through years of survival and social conditioning to consider such men as protective and strong. Women want a strong man to complement them. It's how their brains are wired. They see strength in an arrogant guy. A tough guy both physically and mentally is a good catch. 

But remember that this is just a vibe required to attract her. In other words don't take your acting too far. You can easily become unattractive if you get on her wrong side. If you act too detached or say the wrong things, then she is offended and walks off. You need a delicate balance. You don't want to give her the vibe that you will be another wrong guy in a relationship. She wants to feel protected not defeated. So don't try to defeat her. Play the game where you act like you don't care too much but then give her the chance to feel like you care about her, at the same time not simping her too much. Don't constantly whet her interest. But don't be ignorant about what women dislike. Don't be triggering or passive aggressive. Many men get this technique very wrong and end up acting very passive aggressive leading to war and the woman unimpressed. 

Things that can help you

  1. Have an independent life
  2. Have a purpose greater than a woman 
  3. Don't simp 
  4. Show confidence
  5. Be generous. Invite. Don't hold back on showing praise or affection 
  6. Give limited time. 
  7. Show that you care
  8. Have boundaries
  9. Don't show neediness right away 
  10. Show you are secure 
  11. Don't say offensive things 
  12. Be gentle polite but not timid 
  13. Show containment 
  14. Give space and freedom 
  15. No possessiveness. No begging
  16. Show that you can provide 
  17. Build chemistry 
  18. Build polarity 
  19. Show that you are safe 

 

 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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Not this again lol there is already 5000 threads on this..


 

Your future self is watching you right now through memories

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6 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Not this again lol there is already 5000 threads on this..

Queue Samuel L. Jackson, "I'm tired of these mother fu-!!" xD


"To resist is to piss in the wind, anyone who does will end up smelling.....
Knowing this why do I defy? Because my inner voice is yelling.
"

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Posted (edited)

@StarStruck False equivalency. You don't have to limit your behavioral patterns to one, you can embody and play out both depending on the circumstance and the person. 

It should be noted that in most cases dickish, arrogant behavior would work better at the beginning of the interaction. Your behavior should be calibrated and adapted to the person your interacting with. 

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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@Preety_India what do you think about being like this dickhead but being more balanced?

 

21 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Not this again lol there is already 5000 threads on this..

Probably even more. Reality is a strange loop. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

You will not get fulfilling relations with women in that mindset.

Women are not an algorithm.

It's, for you, time to grow beyond.

Edited by Windappreciator

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13 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I don't get why women on this forum and elsewhere keep telling men to be nice. It really doesn't work. Especially with day game it doesn't work.

Stop asking women for advice on how to game them.

That's your mistake.

When it comes to deciding who she's gonna sleep with, her biological instincts will take over and she will not sleep with a nice guy. She wants to sleep with an alpha guy.

Quote

The thing is: when I'm nice with women, they cringe and don't give me a chance. When I'm a dick, they get attracted and they talk to me. I can clearly see signs of interests when I'm a dick (in a passive calibrated way!).

Of course! Women like dick. They don't need a man with a pussy because they already got one.

Attraction is very counter-intuitive.

With that said, you can be strong and cocky without being mean or hurtful. That's the balance you should aim for: strong, assertive, cocky, playful, but also polite, respectful, and grounded in Love.

You want to be a lovable jerk, not an abusive asshole.

And this goes beyond women. In general, all people, men and women alike, respect strength, confidence, authority, leadership, and assertiveness. These are the qualities of a leader. And women want to sleep with leaders. You can't lead people effectively by being too nice and meek.

Be a leader without being abusive or cruel. Temper yourself with Love.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Leo Gura expliciting these traits is not how you will make him embody it. Last thing he needs is more terms in his mind.

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5 minutes ago, Windappreciator said:

@Leo Gura expliciting these traits is not how you will make him embody it. Last thing he needs is more terms in his mind.

You can't work to embody something you don't even understand conceptually.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

You can't work to embody something you don't even understand conceptually.

It's called feeling, Leo. It's a form of understanding.

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30 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Stop asking women for advice on how to game them.

That's your mistake.

When it comes to deciding who she's gonna sleep with, her biological instincts will take over and she will not sleep with a nice guy. She wants to sleep with an alpha guy.

Of course! Women like dick. They don't need a man with a pussy because they already got one.

Attraction is very counter-intuitive.

With that said, you can be strong and cocky without being mean or hurtful. That's the balance you should aim for: strong, assertive, cocky, playful, but also polite, respectful, and grounded in Love.

You want to be a lovable jerk, not an abusive asshole.

And this goes beyond women. In general, all people, men and women alike, respect strength, confidence, authority, leadership, and assertiveness. These are the qualities of a leader. And women want to sleep with leaders. You can't lead people effectively by being too nice and meek.

Be a leader without being abusive or cruel. Temper yourself with Love.

But if you insult her or make her cry then she will not want to sleep with you.

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12 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

But if you insult her or make her cry then she will not want to sleep with you.

Oh... you don't understand women.

But I don't recommend going that far. Like I said, don't be abusive. You can be brash but still treat women well.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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39 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Stop asking women for advice on how to game them.

That's your mistake.

When it comes to deciding who she's gonna sleep with, her biological instincts will take over and she will not sleep with a nice guy. She wants to sleep with an alpha guy.

Of course! Women like dick. They don't need a man with a pussy because they already got one.

Attraction is very counter-intuitive.

With that said, you can be strong and cocky without being mean or hurtful. That's the balance you should aim for: strong, assertive, cocky, playful, but also polite, respectful, and grounded in Love.

You want to be a lovable jerk, not an abusive asshole.

And this goes beyond women. In general, all people, men and women alike, respect strength, confidence, authority, leadership, and assertiveness. These are the qualities of a leader. And women want to sleep with leaders. You can't lead people effectively by being too nice and meek.

Be a leader without being abusive or cruel. Temper yourself with Love.

In other words, they want alpha nice guy 

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8 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

In other words, they want alpha nice guy 

Women want a lovable jerk, who treats her like a princess but is willing to bash some skulls in elsewhere.

To get attracted to you she needs to feel that you have the capacity to bash some skulls when called for. She wants that feeling of safety because she is not gonna bash skulls herself. She outsources that to you in exchange for sex.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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56 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

You guys should really go out and stop posting about the same BS. Test those MF theories of yours in real life, whatever they may be.

That's what op did and the reason he created this thread.


Spirituality is not the renunciation of life

It is the art of living fully

 

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Check out Julien's videos on connection.

To connect with a girl, you have to build emotional connections whether you are a nice guy or arrogant prick. This is the most important part!

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Posted (edited)

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Stop asking women for advice on how to game them.

That's your mistake.

When it comes to deciding who she's gonna sleep with, her biological instincts will take over and she will not sleep with a nice guy. She wants to sleep with an alpha guy.

Of course! Women like dick. They don't need a man with a pussy because they already got one.

Attraction is very counter-intuitive.

With that said, you can be strong and cocky without being mean or hurtful. That's the balance you should aim for: strong, assertive, cocky, playful, but also polite, respectful, and grounded in Love.

You want to be a lovable jerk, not an abusive asshole.

And this goes beyond women. In general, all people, men and women alike, respect strength, confidence, authority, leadership, and assertiveness. These are the qualities of a leader. And women want to sleep with leaders. You can't lead people effectively by being too nice and meek.

Be a leader without being abusive or cruel. Temper yourself with Love.

It is very hard to remove this niceness, politeness and overly-considering nature out my psyche. Do you have any pointers how to permanently change this aspect of my personality? I don't know what the source of this niceness is. It is hard to pinpoint.

 

2 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

You guys should really go out and stop posting about the same BS. Test those MF theories of yours in real life, whatever they may be.

That is what I did and I just wanted to cross reference my experience. I also want to help other people on this forum by making this thread. I made a journal about my pickup where I'm sharing commentary.

1 hour ago, hyruga said:

Check out Julien's videos on connection.

To connect with a girl, you have to build emotional connections whether you are a nice guy or arrogant prick. This is the most important part!

She will cringe from you and not give you a chance if you are weak, so good luck building that emotional connection.

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Women want a lovable jerk, who treats her like a princess but is willing to bash some skulls in elsewhere.

To get attracted to you she needs to feel that you have the capacity to bash some skulls when called for. She wants that feeling of safety because she is not gonna bash skulls herself. She outsources that to you in exchange for sex.

Are u saying you have to have some martial arts skill or fighting skills so u can knock someone out if situation arises.

Edited by Harikrishnan

I will be waiting here, For your silence to break, For your soul to shake,              For your love to wake! Rumi

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3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It is very hard to remove this niceness, politeness and overly-considering nature out my psyche. Do you have any pointers how to permanently change this aspect of my personality?

Go approach 5000 women and go on dates.

The pain of women rejecting and dumping you for your weakness will make you strong. You are not going to learn this skillset other than through massive pain and rejection.

Get rejected so much you stop caring. Die inside from all your mistakes.

Quote

She will cringe from you and not give you a chance if you are weak, so good luck building that emotional connection.

Rapport is built AFTER attraction already happened.

You need to learn basic pickup theory. Stop trying to reinvent the wheel. Attraction theory is 100% known and proven. Just study it. There is zero mystery to what attracts women.

2 hours ago, Harikrishnan said:

Are u saying you have to have some martial arts skill or fighting skills so u can knock someone out if situation arises.

No


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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