Why are people attracted to jerks?

[Hulia]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Zeroguy Do not inflame threads into needless conflict. People here grow at their pace, not your pace. Be respectful and understanding of that rather than pouncing on them.

Truth does not give you license to be an asshole here.

But Leo.....  ? we had a few days ago a thread with the same issues abou you - being disrespectful and blah-blah ....

[Leo Gura]

@Hulia You keep trolling and your ass will be gone along with his.

You're not gonna fool me with your games.

When you think of how disrepectful I am, imagine that all my disrespect is sourced by dumbasses like you two.

[Hulia]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

and your ass will be gone along with his.

Heeey, be respectful and understanding

It´s not my intention to fool you, honestly. I just want to understand

[Zeroguy]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Zeroguy Do not inflame threads into needless conflict. People here grow at their pace, not your pace. Be respectful and understanding of that rather than pouncing on them.

Truth does not give you license to be an asshole here.

Yes I agree. Constructive critique always welcome. 

I do see a problem will fix it. Time to clean some of my own shit too. Also get swayed as it seems. 

Might cause counter effect not really what I want. 

I am here for you. 

Not about me or this guy at all and it shouldn't be. 

Your awakening. 

Your wisdom. 

Your quality of life/dream. 

This guy will be just fine. No worries or "worries". 

I love you and wish you all the best. 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Shin]

32 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

Yes I agree. Constructive critique always welcome. 

I do see a problem will fix it. Time to clean some of my own shit too. Also get swayed as it seems. 

Might cause counter effect not really what I want. 

I am here for you. 

Not about me or this guy at all and it shouldn't be. 

Your awakening. 

Your wisdom. 

Your quality of life/dream. 

This guy will be just fine. No worries or "worries". 

I love you and wish you all the best. 

You never stop do you ?

[Zeroguy]

@Shin My final post on this forum. No worries. Will come back when I really become capable of beign fully effective to teach and help people with this stuff. 

Now excusse me. Wish you luck. 

Honestly have much important stuff. 

This ad acta. 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Agoy]

people are attracted to true authenticity, they tend to can't help but respect it on a subconscious level cos:

1. it's so rare in society

2. we've all been inauthentic and so know the struggle of authenticity, so can spot inauthenticity intuitively in the same way we can spot when someone's bullshitting us intuitively because we've done it ourselves

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Regan

[Preety_India]

@Regan nah. I wasn't talking about that. 

The question has been misconstrued probably because of the word jerk. 

I was talking about someone who is extremely manipulative, sneaky  fake and is good at faking empathy and is doing so out of egoic reasons. 

People are attracted to that... 

What I have found ( as a common observation ) is that people who are attracted to the manipulative fake types exhibit the following traits and behaviors 

    - they are very insecure 

      - they are weak and sheepish 

   - they can't challenge authority. Ass lick behavior 

- they are covert narcissists 

-  they don't have a spine 

 - they are not independent emotionally or intellectually 

 - they are foolish 

- they are attracted to power very easily 

- they don't have depth of character or substance to their virtues 

- they are attracted to shallow things 

 

 

[Agoy]

@Preety_India i see

yeah i agree

there's a lack of boundaries, a lack of frame, a lack of integrity and a lack of self-respect

ultimately they lack self-love so seek validation through others

[Preety_India]

@Regan yea that's what I meant. 

They can't seek validation in a humble person so they treat them shitty. 

 

[Agoy]

@Preety_India

yeah, they seek said validation in the 'jerk' because the jerk's behaviour brings out their insecurity and makes them feel like they're not good enough

but if they had more self-love they'd realise that the jerk's behaviour is a complete reflection of the jerk, and not them

[StarStruck]

Seriously since I have started becoming a jerk my life regarding women has become so easy. I think the bottom line is that if you are nice to people people get suspicious and rightly so. Niceness should be a tiny cherry on top of the cake; it shouldn't be the cake itself.

Edited May 6, 2021 by StarStruck

[Raphael]

32 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Regan nah. I wasn't talking about that. 

The question has been misconstrued probably because of the word jerk. 

I was talking about someone who is extremely manipulative, sneaky  fake and is good at faking empathy and is doing so out of egoic reasons. 

People are attracted to that... 

What I have found ( as a common observation ) is that people who are attracted to the manipulative fake types exhibit the following traits and behaviors 

    - they are very insecure 

      - they are weak and sheepish 

   - they can't challenge authority. Ass lick behavior 

- they are covert narcissists 

-  they don't have a spine 

 - they are not independent emotionally or intellectually 

 - they are foolish 

- they are attracted to power very easily 

- they don't have depth of character or substance to their virtues 

- they are attracted to shallow things

That's what I noticed too, they are incapable of asserting themselves and only know to obey. And also, these people are not just attracted to total jerks, but also to fake people in position of power who show themselves as kind, caring, polite, and good, but who have some amount of narcissism in them, cannot take any criticism and cannot consider other perspectives.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

That's what I noticed too, they are incapable of asserting themselves and only know to obey. And also, these people are not just attracted to total jerks, but also to fake people in position of power who show themselves as kind, caring, polite, and good, but who have some amount of narcissism in them, cannot take any criticism and cannot consider other perspectives.

On point

[Raphael]

18 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Seriously since I have started becoming a jerk my life regarding women has become so easy. I think the bottom line is that if you are nice to people people get suspicious and rightly so. Niceness should be a tiny cherry on top of the cake; it shouldn't be the cake itself.

What kind of jerk are you talking about? Because they are degrees to this. Where would you put you on a scale from 1 to 10 and what kind of behaviors would that mean?

I agree that too much politeness is fake and that it's better to be authentic and express ourselves, but being a total jerk is also a problem.

Edited May 6, 2021 by Raphael

[StarStruck]

8 minutes ago, Raphael said:

What kind of jerk are you talking about? Because they are degrees to this. Where would you put you on a scale from 1 to 10 and what kind of behaviors would that mean?

I agree that too much politeness is fake and that it's better to be authentic and express ourselves, but being a total jerk is also a problem.

Like supplicating to other people. If you boil it down it comes down to this: when you meet somebody your worldview and the other person's worldview collapse. The nice people always supplicates to the other person's world view to get "favors" or some certain psychological need met. 

A jerk has a very strong worldview: they don't supplicate. Women love this. If your world view as a man is stronger than hers, you basically penetrate her world view. And after that you can penetrate her in more literal ways.

Stereotypical woman is passive. I always thought women don't like me. The problem was not that women didn't like me. I wasn't penetrative. It is a matter of paradigms.

Edited May 6, 2021 by StarStruck

[tricksntraps]

The jerk thing only works for short term gains. True love transcends everything, the best teachings of "love" throughout history still survive because it is limitless/infinite. The shit ideas dont last very long because its not truth, only deception 

[Byun Sean]

Kindness is not always beneficial for survival.

 

Thus some people find it more beneficial to be a jerk because it gets them what they want more.

But some people are also putting out fake kindness on the outside when really they have hatred for people on the inside.

 

This is why some people love jerks is because they are at least brave enough to be authentic and real with what they want and need 

vs the manipulator that puts out fake kindness and has alterior motives running beneath the surface.

 

But what people really want most is real authentic untainted kindness that comes from a place of love.

 

Being a jerk tends to fall away as a necessity for surviving when that person realizes the limitations of being a jerk: People

tend not to trust you or want to be around you. Being a jerk tends to come back and bite you in the ass later on. What goes around comes around.

That same negative energy the jerk is putting out can't help but come back to them in some way, shape, or form.

The more we hurt others the more we hurt our own hearts

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by Byun Sean

[jimwell]

21 hours ago, JosephKnecht said:

You are attracted to people with a massive ego because you have tried hard to repress your own ego.

Your deepest desire is to be authentic, and the Ego people are authentically selfish. You are attracted to their authenticity, not the Ego. 

You have disowned your ego, and have created a shadow out of it. Instead of disowning, you have to integrate, then transcend.

Nice guys(opposite of Jerks  ) are not attractive because they have also disowned their Ego, and they use their "niceness" in an attempt to fulfill their desires. Since niceness is just a coping mechanism, it is unauthentic and thus unattractive. 

If you find an authentic nice guy, it is probably the Buddha, so you must kill him.  

Somebody finally detonated a truth bomb. But the explosion will be a waste of energy, time, and intelligence if there is no introspection, self-honesty, and bravery. 

[Proserpina]

12 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

@Zeroguy You talk too much dude  you literaly responded to every single preety post, why are you so obsessed with her? Seems like you are the one that needs help the most

He acknowledged his mistake.  It's all good.  

Edited May 7, 2021 by Proserpina