Life Progress

[Zeroguy]

5 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Zeroguy No this is just fore the love of the history. If I make a game it will encapsulate the energy from this documentary so in a way I am learning. 

I have stalled for my game, but other aspects of my life are really coming together so if it's authentic desire I trust it will be there in the future.

I just love this series so much. I feel emotional just thinking of how much I love it.

 

I love it too.

[Raptorsin7]

2 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

I love it too.

Napoleon just couldn't accept defeat. Maybe he was the anti-christ 

[Zeroguy]

5 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Napoleon just couldn't accept defeat. Maybe he was the anti-christ 

I laughed at those videos too even posted them here before.

Are you working somewhere now?

[Raptorsin7]

@Zeroguy Haha nice.

Yeah I have a job, I work 4 days a week weighing rocks at a lab. One of my goals is to find a way to make money so I can travel and move out, but I'm not sure what to do.

I'm really starting to get at my repressed emotions. I've been doing some energy work to free energy from my stomach, and now I can feel a sense of guilt and a lot of emotion in my stomach when I meditate. So I'm on the right track i think 

[Etherial Cat]

On 20/01/2022 at 5:08 AM, Raptorsin7 said:

I had a dream where two indian woman, 1 old and 1 young, told me they would show me my real self.

That's quite an interesting dream.

The two ladies could be your anima through two different archetypes. The maiden, the wise woman or the mother. Or rather the MILF in your case lol!

On 20/01/2022 at 5:08 AM, Raptorsin7 said:

They began some kind of cult ritual that began sexual, and ended up with me getting my throat slit. I could feel the pressure on my throat when I woke up.

I remember thinking they better not do some demonic shit to me. But I didn't feel threatened or angry when I woke up, I think they were trying to show me the true self beyond life or death.

I could feel my entire body shake with energy like I was going to let it all go and die. I've felt this energy before, it feels like i'm about to fully let go. But I couldn't do it. I resisted the urge to let go

Your dream could mean that the masculine part of yourself is afraid that trusting the feminine and its diverse form of power will get you culled. 

37 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I'm really starting to get at my repressed emotions. I've been doing some energy work to free energy from my stomach, and now I can feel a sense of guilt and a lot of emotion in my stomach when I meditate. So I'm on the right track i think 

There you are. It's the same dilemma that you've got there, I think ?.

Quote

I think they were trying to show me the true self beyond life or death.

Our true self is both masculine and feminine at the relative level. So perhaps what it all means is that by reintegrating the feminine you'll reveal yourself to yourself.

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Etherial Cat I think I have issues with integrating both the masculine and the feminine.

I think if I can get in touch more the feminine then it will also lead to a stronger masculine, but the reverse may also be true idk. I'm working on developing my masculinity with a mentor right now and so far I've already noticed shifts in terms of represses emotions coming up.

An interesting point is on my good psych trips I would feel this warm soothing energy come over, I think it's my repressed feminine energy. I've defintely repressed parts of myself that I considered gay, and I probably did it with feminine parts too.

I've been really drawn to female energy recently which I think is a good step. I find it more soothing and at ease to be around woman then men. But this likely related to shadow masuclinity issues 

[Etherial Cat]

2 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Etherial Cat I think I have issues with integrating both the masculine and the feminine.

You wouldn't be the only one. It's kinda the standard. And I'm working on it too ! Well integrated people are very rare. 

2 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I think if I can get in touch more the feminine then it will also lead to a stronger masculine, but the reverse may also be true idk. I'm working on developing my masculinity with a mentor right now and so far I've already noticed shifts in terms of represses emotions coming up.

Yes.

That's true. Emerald made a thread on this specific point, if I remember correctly. And I had some insights about the way it works lately. Basically, imagine being a leader (divine masculine quality) without love for yourself and other (divine feminine quality). Being rational (divine masculine quality) ) without understanding (divine feminine quality), etc.

2 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

So far I've already noticed shifts in terms of represses emotions coming up.

Great !   Good luck with that.

Have you made any type of work regarding understanding your emotions and learning emotional literacy in general? It could be of great help!

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

An interesting point is on my good psych trips I would feel this warm soothing energy come over, I think it's my repressed feminine energy. I've defintely repressed parts of myself that I considered gay, and I probably did it with feminine parts too.

I've been really drawn to female energy recently which I think is a good step. I find it more soothing and at ease to be around woman then men. But this likely related to shadow masuclinity issues 

Oh yes, I'd say that a soothing energy would be probably feminine, though a gentle, protective energy could also very agreeable.

What you mean by gay is probably feminine elements that are non gender normative, and perceived as "unmasculine" ?

By the way, shadow masculinity really doesn't go well with feminine energy in general. I'm not sure how that shadow masculinity would be attracted to females, there. 

[Raptorsin7]

Tune into the angry part that gets mad at your friends, and speak to that part. Tell the part he's powerful, i respect you, thank you for keeping me safe and protecting me. I see you to that part. Acknowledge that part of you.

What else is possible.

Gather evidence that you are living a good life according to your values.

Create a small game

[Zeroguy]

Easy to learn ,hard to master.

[Raptorsin7]

@Zeroguy Yeah, but we will get there eventually

[Raptorsin7]

On 2/10/2022 at 4:45 PM, Etherial Cat said:

You wouldn't be the only one. It's kinda the standard. And I'm working on it too ! Well integrated people are very rare. 

Haha yeah that's true. Hopefully that changes in the coming years, all it takes is a few well integrated people who have the ability to teach other people how to do it.

On 2/10/2022 at 4:45 PM, Etherial Cat said:

Have you made any type of work regarding understanding your emotions and learning emotional literacy in general? It could be of great help!

No not at this point. I've just started to really get in touch with my whole body and start feeling the tension and emotions more and more. I think at this point my approach is just to try and feel into my body more and get in touch with the energies and emotions that have been buried for years.

I'm not too worried about emotional literacy, more so just trying to free myself from emotional constraints and liberating all the energy that has been buried from being so wound up my whole life.

On 2/10/2022 at 4:45 PM, Etherial Cat said:

What you mean by gay is probably feminine elements that are non gender normative, and perceived as "unmasculine" ?

Yeah I think so. I think it also relates to just feeling into my lower chakras and sexual energy in general. I've been dancing in my shower and really feeling into my lower body and just that is a big shift, I used to feel a strong aversion to move my body like that.

On 2/10/2022 at 4:45 PM, Etherial Cat said:

By the way, shadow masculinity really doesn't go well with feminine energy in general. I'm not sure how that shadow masculinity would be attracted to females, there. 

Yeah the attraction is probably healthy but I still feel resistant to forming intimate relationships with woman.

Part of me just wants fun, care free sex and fun without the responsibility of intimacy. But part of me see's the delusion in that, and wants to transcend lower consciousness relationships. But I'll probably spend time being a devil and having fun just for the experience lol

[Raptorsin7]

If you want to understand the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.- Tesla

^^^^^^^^^^

This forum needs to understand this

Edited February 13, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

Wow life is going amazing. What a great time just listening to music and enjoying the vibration

This is my jam right now

[Raptorsin7]

I was going to make this as a separate thread, but I think I'm going to stuck to my journal more because Leo is cracking down and I probably should have been banned multiple times already.

I think it can be useful if everyone remembers that you are communicating with yourself on the forum. When you give advice, insult, joke with, etc anyone you are speaking to yourself, most of us just aren't aware of it. So we can always reflect on what we're saying and remember you are talking to your self. We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are. If you ever have a heated convo with someone, or insult them, or give them advice etc. Remember you're only talking to yourself

Edited February 16, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

I want to be so powerful I can stop wars before they begin

[Raptorsin7]

This gets me into an intoxicated state of being. I feel divine 

[Salvijus]

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

 

This gets me into an intoxicated state of being. I feel divine 

48min. "Now we are free." Legendary. 

[Raptorsin7]

12 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

48min. "Now we are free." Legendary. 

Dude that's the song that I felt the strongest energy from wow 

[Salvijus]

Just now, Raptorsin7 said:

Dude that's the song that I felt the strongest energy from wow 

Haha ? i just listened to it. I seems like a shortcut version. I like the full song more

[Raptorsin7]

10 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Haha ? i just listened to it. I seems like a shortcut version. I like the full song more

This one is epic. This energy hits my stomach it's so strong