Heaven

A healthy ego = no suffering in daily living?

27 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Hey all👋 

I’m looking to develop a healthy ego that is aligned with the ultimate Truth. And not serving just the self.
Let me define a healthy ego first: Be less selfish: add value to society, donate money if possible, volunteer, be kind, be grateful for the lil things, love unconditionally(as much as I can). Trust in God’s will. Know when to put boundaries when relating with others, etc..

I know that it is kind of rules.(Religion style)And maybe there will be an attachment to those shoulds.

Is there something problematic with that that I can’t see? Is it an ideology?(Leo warns not to take any)

Will this kind of behaviors prevent suffering in daily living?

 

Edited by Heaven

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A healthy ego is more about your ability to cope with daily life and process emotions in a relatively ballanced way. 

Yes it reduces suffering overall as your better at dealing with lifes challenges and also less prone to spritual bypassing. Tho it only takes you so far and enlightenment is the real key to ending suffering. 

What your describing sounds more like what a saintly person would do but ideally yeah its great if you can do all of tho's things. 

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There will be suffering as soon as that (imaginary) ego of yours falls short of its own lofty standards, which will inevitably be the case.

This is why spiritual teachers stress the necessity of letting go of all presumptions and expectations - like the presumption that there is such a think as "your ego" and the expectation that it will find happiness at some point in the future.

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Healthy egos have no questions.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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@Heaven

Metaphorically... let's assume the screen plays a movie. The movie character starts to donate money, etc. Then, the movie turns in a way that the movie character looses some body part for example, huge suffering arises for this character. The end of suffering is to realize that you are the whole movie & the screen simultaneously. Nothing can affect you, you are not a healthy movie character, you are the whole movie & the screen. There is only screen.


My Instagram: @dima.happy.living Open for private online sessions for spiritual guidance. Happy to help, by helping others we help ourselves 😊

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Thanks for the answers🙏 
Let me expand a lil..

When I’m by myself I experience huge amount of happiness, bliss and joy.

The issue is when I relate to complicated activities and dealing with people. Something takes me out of the alignment..

Maybe because I have to strengthen my ability to abide in I am.

 

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@allislove I agree with you, but let's also not forget that in the apparant idenfication to the movie charachter, healthy ego structure matters, because even when you realise that you are the movie & screen & charachter, change is not an automatic consequence. Unhealthy ego's have certain tendencies of mind that is difficult to purify without the right path and it does not involve letting go of identification as a priority, rather development should be following that leads to a healthy ego, and then spirituality and presence can only be cummulative to someone's potential. 

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When your kidneys are healthy you just don't think about them hardly ever. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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@Heaven

You are welcome.

41 minutes ago, Heaven said:

The issue is when I relate to complicated activities and dealing with people. Something takes me out of the alignment..

Maybe because I have to strengthen my ability to abide in I am.

Can relate to it... keep abiding... there is ever-present happiness. 👊

@JonasVE12 

Sure, developing a movie character... is a feature, not a bug. Everything leads to this... just have to notice how you feel. 🧭


My Instagram: @dima.happy.living Open for private online sessions for spiritual guidance. Happy to help, by helping others we help ourselves 😊

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26 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

When your kidneys are healthy you just don't think about them hardly ever. 

Wow! That's a really deep and powerful quote!


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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Healthy ego is an oxymoron. The ego is false identification with the conditioned mind, which ultimately leads to suffering. Letting go of thinking, and directly abiding in who You are, banishes the ego. Unfortunately, few of us are able to stay present always, so inevitably the ego returns.

Thinking isn't inherently unhealthy, as long as we don't identify with it. A nice quote I came across yesterday, from Ram Dass:

But it turns out giving up conceptual thinking is not so scary after all - in fact, it's a relief! I keep telling people, "You are not who you think you are." So-called objective reality is only relatively real compared to the deeper reality of the Self...

The paradox is that to really practice mindfulness, you have to let go of thinking. The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.

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32 minutes ago, Moksha said:

Healthy ego is an oxymoron. The ego is false identification with the conditioned mind, which ultimately leads to suffering. Letting go of thinking, and directly abiding in who You are, banishes the ego. Unfortunately, few of us are able to stay present always, so inevitably the ego returns.

Thinking isn't inherently unhealthy, as long as we don't identify with it. A nice quote I came across yesterday, from Ram Dass:

But it turns out giving up conceptual thinking is not so scary after all - in fact, it's a relief! I keep telling people, "You are not who you think you are." So-called objective reality is only relatively real compared to the deeper reality of the Self...

The paradox is that to really practice mindfulness, you have to let go of thinking. The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.

Wow dude it really resonates..thank u.

Thank you all🙏

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1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

Wow! That's a really deep and powerful quote!

Kind of funny too, like a person who realizes "OMG, I'm so selfish, I only think of myself!" is still in that moment only thinking about... themselves. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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As long as there is ego there in you, healthy or unhealthy, there will be suffering. To completely get rid of suffering, the sufferer must vanish.


https://youtu.be/Ts_WDlgNMoo

^ Die before you die

 

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@mandyjw I'm sold. Just give me the diet you're currently on already!


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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