Preety_India

Why are women who game frowned upon?

16 posts in this topic

I've often observed that men who got good game are looked at with awe and praised. They are called studs. 

But when a woman is trying to be seductive, people and mostly men look down on her. Like she is not supposed to have game? 

Why this double standard? 

Why are women always supposed to act coy and demure? 

Why is that when a woman is acting flirty, it's immediately frowned upon? 

Always struck me as a bit odd and hypocritical. 

Or maybe for a predator a fish slowly swimming towards him freaks him out. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut-shaming

Enjoy your reading. :) 

When women freed themselves through the sexual revolution men needed a way to keep some control and shaming is one of them. Thats my guess. 

Edited by Rilles

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

 

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Simple. Because people are dumb. Culture equals = front row seat the shit show of stupidity. If you know it's all dumb, you'll be okay and this isn't negative by the way, if you at all by any measure get sucked in. Your done. It's all over. See you later. You didn't pass the test. You play the game, don't get played. Outside of this only spend time fostering connections that aren't false. 

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10 minutes ago, Origins said:

Outside of this only spend time fostering connections that aren't false. 

This should be recorded as the golden line in history. 

We get so sucked in to the whole social game drama and we don't even  notice ourselves doing that.

You have a wise soul. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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@Preety_Indiahaha yeah we just don't realise how much of it is mental noise. Signal to noise ratio. It's hard enough doing it with ourselves that doing it with relationships as well should seem obvious but even to me as well it was counterintutive. Only now did I....

I think I've always longed for some special undeniable unbreakable connection as well which now I realise after trial an error is just kind of foolish and that is probably just some childhood trauma I gotta resolve.

I'm never going to be satisfied if I'm always like that, and that dissatisfaction is only going to hurt the connections I do have. So I just gotta focus on what works and remove the least best bits and work from there. This theme of "it's gotta be this seamless perfect connection otherwise it's not true" is a subconscious narrative that's played it's part in both male (I'm heterosexual so friendship based) and female relationships. 

It's this notion of ideal love which which has sabotaged things [I now realise it's a pipe dream and for the most part you gotta just take people where they are, including yourself and just work towards what's true]. I now realise you just gotta be with the is, remove the isn't and appreciate the mystery in between (as opposed to trying to say, control it).

Edited by Origins

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25 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

It's the other around way now adays. 

How so?


"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

 

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44 minutes ago, Rilles said:

How so?

In my personal experience, most women in my liberal city are quite empowered by being promiscuous. While I am usually met with judgement and disdain by ladies if me and my friends are even talking about how we would have sex with a certain girl. 

My roommate is the queen of 'shitting where she eats' (i.e. she dated our neighbor and now she is fucking my other roommate), but me and my homie were talking about our fine 3rd grade teacher from back in the day and how we all wanted to sleep with her before we knew what sex was and she got slightly offended. 

There is clearly an agenda from many younger women to flip the script on the promiscuous double standard. They paint men as pigs who don't fall in line with being a good respectful guy, but want to be accepted for sleeping around judgement free

Edited by Axiomatic

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4 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

There is clearly an agenda from many younger women to flip the script on the promiscuous double standard. They paint men as pigs who don't fall in line with being a good respectful guy, but want to be accepted for sleeping around judgement free

I dont want to paint it as an agenda just based on your anecdotal evidence but if that IS the case then I think thats normal, the backlash of being pure little girls not allowed to express sexuality for 2000 years is going to hit hard and not be pretty, I wish noone had to slutshame anyone but this world doesnt care what I wish, reality is hardcore and doesnt give a fuck. ;) 


"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

 

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1 hour ago, Rilles said:

reality is hardcore and doesnt give a fuck. ;) 

neither do I. which is why I'm living the way I want and yall can kiss my ass :)

Edited by Axiomatic

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5 hours ago, Axiomatic said:

There is clearly an agenda from many younger women to flip the script on the promiscuous double standard. They paint men as pigs who don't fall in line with being a good respectful guy, but want to be accepted for sleeping around judgement free

I wasn't talking about promiscuity here. That's a different thing I guess. I'm not into slut shaming but if someone is the type that sleeps around, they are kinda unattractive in my eyes to be fair, because it raises the question of infidelity. 

What I was referring to was why a woman approaching a man she wants considered so bad or looked down on? Why is she considered undesirable and repulsed if she is being flirty? 

I guess there's a difference between being  the definition of a slut (sorry don't want the subject to go in that direction) and someone being playful and flirty, like a woman who likes to chat, have intimate conversations or shows romantic interest in a guy she has started liking. 

And if some men think that's slutty (imo that's just a confident open person being more social and pleasant) I would want to know why because that too is like an unsavory judgement on a person only being themselves. 

Imo a slut is someone who kinda sleeps around or cheats or has multiple liaisons but that to me is unattractive in both men and women, irrespective of gender, because they have that player mentality and people into strict monogamy wont prefer that, so I get the disdain for it. 

However what I was referring to is the long tradition of looking at any woman who is acting flirty as "immediately unattractive" or "beneath." I never got that because I appreciate flirtatious behavior in both men and women. That is I see flirty people as more socially pleasant, confident and nice people. Like warm hearted. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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16 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I wasn't talking about promiscuity here. That's a different thing I guess. I'm not into slut shaming but if someone is the type that sleeps around, they are kinda unattractive in my eyes to be fair, because it raises the question of infidelity. 

What I was referring to was why a woman approaching a man she wants considered so bad or looked down on? Why is she considered undesirable and repulsed if she is being flirty? 

I guess there's a difference between being  the definition of a slut (sorry don't want the subject to go in that direction) and someone being playful and flirty, like a woman who likes to chat, have intimate conversations or shows romantic interest in a guy she has started liking. 

And if some men think that's slutty (imo that's just a confident open person being more social and pleasant) I would want to know why because that too is like an unsavory judgement on a person only being themselves. 

Imo a slut is someone who kinda sleeps around or cheats or has multiple liaisons but that to me is unattractive in both men and women, irrespective of gender, because they have that player mentality and people into strict monogamy wont prefer that, so I get the disdain for it. 

However what I was referring to is the long tradition of looking at any woman who is acting flirty as "immediately unattractive" or "beneath." I never got that because I appreciate flirtatious behavior in both men and women. That is I see flirty people as more socially pleasant, confident and nice people. Like warm hearted. 

From what I understand you're talking about why when a woman makes the first move or starts approaching guys to flirt with them why that is looked down upon (correct me if I'm wrong). I guess it's the stereotype of men being the initiator while women being more passive at play. The man looks like he has balls when he goes on a whim and starts flirting with a lot of women, but if a woman does the same thing, she is seen as desperate and attention seeking rather than bold.  


The heat that you curse in the summer is the same one you yearn for in the winter. 

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Just now, soos_mite_ah said:

From what I understand you're talking about why when a woman makes the first move or starts approaching guys to flirt with them why that is looked down upon (correct me if I'm wrong). I guess it's the stereotype of men being the initiator while women being more passive at play. The man looks like he has balls when he goes on a whim and starts flirting with a lot of women, but if a woman does the same thing, she is seen as desperate and attention seeking rather than bold.  

Yea exactly that's what I meant. 

I'm bad at articulation, sorry. That's why often times I can't write the way it's in my head. Causes me to go around in circles and others get confused or misunderstand what I'm trying to say. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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On 2021-01-14 at 11:16 AM, Preety_India said:

I've often observed that men who got good game are looked at with awe and praised. They are called studs. 

But when a woman is trying to be seductive, people and mostly men look down on her. Like she is not supposed to have game? 

Why this double standard? 

Why are women always supposed to act coy and demure? 

Why is that when a woman is acting flirty, it's immediately frowned upon? 

Always struck me as a bit odd and hypocritical. 

Or maybe for a predator a fish slowly swimming towards him freaks him out. 

 

Its probably because of religios stereotypes from our old society ): 

The sad thing is however that most guys would love for girls to feel comfortable being more flirty and to make the first move - I mean most guys don't even dare to do it themselves. It's a bless and a curse to have to approach and do the work and I honestly think that besides the slutshaming dynamic that unfortunatly exists in our society, most guys would be down for girls to try to pick them up aswell. 

In fact, many guys are terrified at being classified and judged as a pig, fuckboy, creep or whatever from the woman they approach,  just like girls are scared of being seen as sluts. It's a hole dynamic of fear of being hurt, not seen, unloved, dumped, seen as a pig, seen as a slut that creates this narrative, where everyone suffers the consequences.

The best would be if everyone, both guys and girls would be able to feel free and allowed to talk, flirt and fuck whoever they want - and that that would be the norm. This of corse in a highly concious way where more understanding and love towards everyone is present - including to ourselves.

I understand your frustration. 

@Preety_India


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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Took me a lot of time to figure out that women were gaming me cos they were doing it sneakily. Like dropiing a "Hey" in DMs.

I think gaming for women is dropping hints and waiting for men to take them up on it. Now if they do it like a PUA...

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@Preety_India Im not actually sure what good game is for women would look like as it hasn't been looked into as much as it has for men. I'm not sure if being very obvious about it would work. I think maybe good game for women would be her ability to attract high quality men who will treat her with respect and making them want a relationship with her? What would you say in dating is a woman's top agenda? 

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