Game is not good for long term relationships (video)

[Roy]

1 hour ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

That man walks out of a club with forty women.  I know that Jason Segel for a while was playing the field.  Most guys if they could would do that over being a relationship any day.  Most guys lack an abundance mindset and have a scarcity mindset.

Bahahah you don't say? Of course they would, it's an egos wet dream to be able to be selfish on such a scale!

Notice how the mind subtly rationalizes it's behavior by co-opting and misusing personal development language like "scarcity/abundance mindset".

[Thestarguitarist14]

31 minutes ago, Roy said:

Bahahah you don't say? Of course they would, it's an egos wet dream to be able to be selfish on such a scale!

Notice how the mind subtly rationalizes it's behavior by co-opting and misusing personal development language like "scarcity/abundance mindset".

You are acting as though it isn’t the ego that wants relationships because it is searching for the joy of being.

People go into relationships for all I kinds of selfish reasons.  Desiring consistent sex, emotional needs, attachment styles, economic reasons and yes a scarcity mindset.

This is why  the vast majority of relationships today are very toxic.

?

[Karmadhi]

@see_on_see This is great advice for emotionally repressed people like Leo used to be. Maybe you are natural at this shit so yeah it seems stupid. If you are very shy, introverted, cant show emotion, basically a soulless empty blank shell then this advice is a good way to swing back into a more human full of life state. It is very over the top but it is good advice for these kind of people. Considering a lot of people that watch this kind of stuff are like this then it is no suprise this advice is written here. If you want advice from an extrovert about getting girls then do not listen to LEO, his advice is for people that used to be like him.

[Karmadhi]

@see_on_see The way you find yourself is by experimenting different extremes until you find the healthy sweet spot. If you have been a super nice guy all your life and let people walk over you then it is a good idea to become a selfish prick for a while to finally find the sweet spot. A lot of people do not act natural because they have been repressed for so long they do not know what is natural to them. Experimenting with the other extreme by becoming TOO emotional will in the end help you find your true self, the sweet middle spot. This process of becoming too emotional is just part of the whole thing, it is not the end result. At least this is my interpretation on Leo's advice. I mean considering how shy and introverted he claims to have been (also average looking guy so not handsome either) and managed to attract very hot girls it shows the advice works. I think though it only works for emotionally repressed people like him, not for everyone. 

Side note: When i get drunk i also tend to be very loose and emotional and shit like that and many people have told me i become a lot more attractive compared to my sober self where i am a bit too serious and stiff. So being emotional as a guy does have benefits. 

Edited November 4, 2020 by Karmadhi

[Thestarguitarist14]

19 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@see_on_see The way you find yourself is by experimenting different extremes until you find the healthy sweet spot. If you have been a super nice guy all your life and let people walk over you then it is a good idea to become a selfish prick for a while to finally find the sweet spot. A lot of people do not act natural because they have been repressed for so long they do not know what is natural to them. Experimenting with the other extreme by becoming TOO emotional will in the end help you find your true self, the sweet middle spot. This process of becoming too emotional is just part of the whole thing, it is not the end result. At least this is my interpretation on Leo's advice. I mean considering how shy and introverted he claims to have been (also average looking guy so not handsome either) and managed to attract very hot girls it shows the advice works. I think though it only works for emotionally repressed people like him, not for everyone. 

Side note: When i get drunk i also tend to be very loose and emotional and shit like that and many people have told me i become a lot more attractive compared to my sober self where i am a bit too serious and stiff. So being emotional as a guy does have benefits. 

Truth be told, Leo is the last guy I would take dating advice from.  Check out Alpha Male Strategies (by far the best dating coach on YouTube) or even Corey Wayne.  

[Karmadhi]

@Thestarguitarist14 I doubt Coray Wayne was socially indept and horrible with girls like Leo was and then got very good at it. His advice is great but he does not teach you how to charm a girl, all he does is teaching you the logistics of dating and how to do the courtering process well. I read his book like 4 times, it is very good, but it does not cover everything. If you are like me, your issue is that the girl is not attracted to you. Therefore coray wayne advice about handling dates, asking them out, dealing with them in relationships etc is all futile since the attraction is missing. Alpha male strategies is basically "focus on yourself". It is good advice IF your life is full of interactions with people and you already have good social skills. Doubt that guy had shitty social skills in the past. So yeah different teachers for different people. For nerdy shy introverted  guys Leo advice is good. For outgoing good social skill guys those channels are better.

[Thestarguitarist14]

@Karmadhi I get what you’re saying.  But as far as social skills go and improving them, your best bet is to use visualizations/guided meditations and then when you meet women who like you (don’t be so worried about approaching women, look for women who are into you) just talk to them.  There will always be some level of fear.  But you get used to it and see it for what it is.

Leo’s dating advice is nothing special and is actually a bit beta maleish imo.  You do not need to be an overly emotional guy to get women.  In fact, you are just validation g her when you play her game.

[Karmadhi]

@Thestarguitarist14 It is a good start if you are 0. Then you can integrate what you teach after you have a base built

[Thestarguitarist14]

3 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Thestarguitarist14 It is a good start if you are 0. Then you can integrate what you teach after you have a base built

That right there is your sticking point.  You are not at 0.  You do have value.  You just need to believe in yourself.

[Karmadhi]

@Thestarguitarist14 Attracting girls is a skill, its not something that is there. You are saying because you are 0 at playing the piano then you have no value. Of course i have a lot of value but i suck at specific things which you need to get girls attracted to you. I suck at flirting, leading, making moves, showing the girl i am into her, dont approach, a bit shy and serious. 

[Thestarguitarist14]

@Karmadhi 

Funny, I actually play the piano...

See, this the issue with most guys.  They make getting women sound like climbing Mount Everest.  You place way too value on woman.  Ever think of the fact that there women who are already attracted to you?

Suck at flirting?  Guys are not supposed to flirt.  That’s for women.  You just show up with a masculine frame and be playful.

Suck at leading?  Hold a firmer masculine frame.

Suck at making moves?  Again, this goes back to masculine frame.  You probably have some issues around self sabotage that can be addressed through guided meditations.

Suck at showing a girl interest?  #1: You do not want to do too much of all.  All you are doing is validating her and she is just going to treat you like shit.  #2 Women are not stupid. If you are talking to her, she knows what is up.  #3 You are probably talking to sixes and sevens.  Women who you could have sex with once but that’s it.  You are not working on your sexual charisma.  Talk to women who you see as nines and tens and watch how easy it is to show interest.

Don't approach?  When you cold approach (a woman doesn’t even know you exist) you are only validating her.  Only approach women who show you choosing signals.  You will never get rejected that way.

Shy and serious?  No problem!  You don’t need to be done super outgoing dancing monkey.  Women like guys who are mysterious and can hold a masculine frame.  Not saying to not let loose.  But you don’t have to be some overly emotional guy.  That is just a waste of time.  You are being a cornball/goofball trying to make her like you.  Do you think that a guy who gets women gives a fuck if a woman likes him?

The biggest thing you can do is adopt an abundance mindset.  Once you can do that you will cease trying so hard, stop giving a fuck about the outcome and things will work out.

Edited November 4, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[Karmadhi]

@Thestarguitarist14 Alright, thank you for your advice. Although a big problem i have is friend-zone problems. Girl loves me as a person but is not attracted to me. They don't see my as a sexual being at all. If i ever told them i liked them they would be surprised since i never made any moves. 

Edited November 4, 2020 by Karmadhi

[Leo Gura]

Look, I didn't invent the rules of what makes women wet. I'm just telling ya how it works.

Hurting women is unnecessary. But understanding what turns them on is highly valuable.

You keep framing this as exploitation in your mind, but you don't have to be exploitative. You can create beautiful attraction which then leads to relationship.

Women are not so fragile. You can play with them a little and they like it.

[Thestarguitarist14]

8 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Thestarguitarist14 Alright, thank you for your advice. Although a big problem i have is friend-zone problems. Girl loves me as a person but is not attracted to me. They don't see my as a sexual being at all. If i ever told them i liked them they would be surprised since i never made any moves. 

That’s easy to fix.  Do not allow yourself to be seen as a friend.

Meaning, do not act like a friend. When you are in her face, hold a masculine frame and be sexual.  Perform kino when it feels organic.  Say suggestive things.  Hold strong eye contact.  When you talk to her, look at her lips sometimes.  Look at her tities sometimes.  
 

Basically you got to not give a fuck about her approval.

[Carl-Richard]

On 31.10.2020 at 1:48 PM, AtmoShark said:

This leads to users like @Origins posting absolutely bizarre shit that isn't practical or relevant to the topic at hand.

He doesn't exactly need help to do that 

[somegirl]

Well, as a girl, if I were to be fair, I would agree with what Leo said, but partially. I was way more madly in love with the fuckboy who was playing with me and didn't care about me than I am with a guy who goes out of his way for me, respects me and does everything right. The fuckboy was just so mismerising then, he appeared to know what he was doing and was very flirtatious and knew what to say and how to say it and it made him very very attractive and irresistible. Made whole thing exciting.

But I thought this was the case because I was younger then. And young girls tend to be attracted to fuckboys a lot often. Then when time passes by, you realize these games they put you through and it doesn't feel great. You feel used and left behind. Disrespected. It took me way more time to get over this guy after, it was pretty rough.

But yeah, it's not good to be a fuckboy, or a nice guy. You have to be somewhere in the middle. Make it spicey, stimulate girls emotionally, respect yourself but also be respectful to the girls. Be interesting, don't be "too vanilla" (as Leo said) because, yeah, girls will take it, but it won't keep her for too long, honestly.

[Leo Gura]

Be a player with a heart of gold

It's a rare thing.

[Preety_India]

Don't be a player. Be a nice guy, but have a twist. Stimulate the woman emotionally. Don't be dishonest to her. Be romantic and attractive and fill her heart. 

Nice guy does not always mean boring. You can spice up yourself to impress a woman. 

 

[Karmadhi]

@somegirl There is nothing wrong with falling for a fuckboy and ignoring good guys. I have a problem when girls start crying after this about how guys are jerks and they cant find someone good for them. It is like eating only junk food because its tasty and then crying about how you are fat and food makes you fat. Learn to enjoy salad too not just junk. It might not be as addictive tasty but it is better for your well being overall. 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India Could you give us some ways to stimulate her emotionally  please? People on this forum always use that term but i never understood what it meant. Give me some examples please.