Namo Narayanaya

How To Find Positive People?

17 posts in this topic

 i have watched so many videos over years about positivity , every mentor said to hangout with positive people . 

How are these positive people like?

what must be his/ her standard characters to be recognized as a positive person?

If they are positive on one attribute and judgemental, neurotic on other attributes are they still considered as positive people

my friends, parents,relatives are not thinking like me, acting like me , behaving like me . But, still they are very loving and showing affection to me.

Shall I eliminate them for being neurotic, judgmental , pessismistic ? or shall i change them to become positive because they are showing love to me? (But, I don't want to waste my valuable time, and i dont want to loose them either)

some people are very kind, generous, polite, funny, helpful, loving but on the flip side their mind is submerged in negativity and they reached to a state were they don't realise they are doing negative actions every second in their life. Shall i elimate them from my life?

how can i decide whether the person im talking with is positive or not? How could i find positive people in this modern chaotic & biased society.

@Leo Gura @MIA.RIVEL @Ayla @Sarah_Flagg @Kelley White @MonikaBcn @Sarper

Edited by Barack osama

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I wish I had an educated answer for you. Usually the way I decide if someone is positive is by thinking about the following things: 

  • What are our conversations like? Do I enjoy them or do I find myself zoning out?
  • How do I feel after I leave a person? Do I feel energized or drained?
  • Is their life in chaos?

I have found positive people by going out to different events. Some of my closest friends I met at a group meditation I go to weekly. Perhaps try finding a meet up in your area?

Hope this helps. 

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10 hours ago, Barack osama said:

 i have watched so many videos over years about positivity , every mentor said to hangout with positive people . 

How are these positive people like?

what must be his/ her standard characters to be recognized as a positive person?

If they are positive on one attribute and judgemental, neurotic on other attributes are they still considered as positive people

my friends, parents,relatives are not thinking like me, acting like me , behaving like me . But, still they are very loving and showing affection to me.

Shall I eliminate them for being neurotic, judgmental , pessismistic ? or shall i change them to become positive because they are showing love to me? (But, I don't want to waste my valuable time, and i dont want to loose them either)

some people are very kind, generous, polite, funny, helpful, loving but on the flip side their mind is submerged in negativity and they reached to a state were they don't realise they are doing negative actions every second in their life. Shall i elimate them from my life?

how can i decide whether the person im talking with is positive or not? How could i find positive people in this modern chaotic & biased society.

First of all you never know if a kind, polite and funny person will make you happy or a negative person will give you negative attributes. Some people say funny things about people or ideologies which can make you a judgmental and negative person over time. And some negative people can show you their inner beauty, calmness and positiveness.

The thing is that you should always be yourself. If people can effect you and your inner peace, it's not because of people, it is because of your tendency to change and reflect others. You should just be yourself. Take no people's shit but don't do harm or judge them. If they try to gossip just listen, if they are negative, just listen. And If they are funny just laugh. Don't think about it, just be yourself and let people be themselves.

Edited by Sarper

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11 hours ago, Barack osama said:

 i have watched so many videos over years about positivity , every mentor said to hangout with positive people . 

How are these positive people like?

what must be his/ her standard characters to be recognized as a positive person?

If they are positive on one attribute and judgemental, neurotic on other attributes are they still considered as positive people

my friends, parents,relatives are not thinking like me, acting like me , behaving like me . But, still they are very loving and showing affection to me.

Shall I eliminate them for being neurotic, judgmental , pessismistic ? or shall i change them to become positive because they are showing love to me? (But, I don't want to waste my valuable time, and i dont want to loose them either)

some people are very kind, generous, polite, funny, helpful, loving but on the flip side their mind is submerged in negativity and they reached to a state were they don't realise they are doing negative actions every second in their life. Shall i elimate them from my life?

how can i decide whether the person im talking with is positive or not? How could i find positive people in this modern chaotic & biased society.

@Leo Gura @MIA.RIVEL @Ayla @Sarah_Flagg @Kelley White @MonikaBcn @Sarper

@Barack osama I would like to consider myself as a positive person usually. 

I do have days where I shut off from the world from time to time and have 'me time', I get upset and annoyed sometimes but does that then make a non positive person? at times, I guess. 

It is also how you interpret being a positive person, to me its generally the good vibe and energy that someone makes you feel. A positive person to me is someone that loves life, wants the best from life, tries to make the best out of every situation, loves learning and helping others, someone that inspires me and I love being around them because their energy makes me feel good and influences me to be a better and happier person.

I can't stand people who are constantly choosing to be negative or mean to others, it doesn't make me feel good and I don't like the bad energy I get. People have an influence on you weather you know it or not, so I choose to be around people who influence me for the better. 

As they say, positivity and happiness and contagious, so why not spread it around? 

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One of the things I've found along my journey that have helped me become more positive was to not take any filters for the people you meet seriously. At my job there was this guy who had negative judgments from other people for the choices he's made( I'm new at the job btw) and it subconsciously made me put on on him, but I had conversations with this guy and he was totally positive and optimistic in his desires and goals, it brought some motivation in me to talk about my own, regardless of choices people make, dont take them seriously and look at how other people inspire things in you

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Quote

 

i have watched so many videos over years about positivity , every mentor said to hangout with positive people . 

How are these positive people like?

what must be his/ her standard characters to be recognized as a positive person?

If they are positive on one attribute and judgemental, neurotic on other attributes are they still considered as positive people

my friends, parents,relatives are not thinking like me, acting like me , behaving like me . But, still they are very loving and showing affection to me.

Shall I eliminate them for being neurotic, judgmental , pessismistic ? or shall i change them to become positive because they are showing love to me? (But, I don't want to waste my valuable time, and i dont want to loose them either)

some people are very kind, generous, polite, funny, helpful, loving but on the flip side their mind is submerged in negativity and they reached to a state were they don't realise they are doing negative actions every second in their life. Shall i elimate them from my life?

how can i decide whether the person im talking with is positive or not? How could i find positive people in this modern chaotic & biased society.

 

I think your question is a great question and I am not certain I have the answer either.   :)  I'm working on this myself.

Here are some observations I have: 

I get depressed, I know that.  My reaction?  To withdraw and isolate.  I think I am sparing these people my negativity, but at the same time I've hurt them by withdrawing and isolating.

When I am depressed, Positive as in "fake cheerful"?  It either just angers me or feels inauthentic.

I have a group I socialize with on the weekends of very eclectic friends.  People can be sad, happy, tall, small, and anything in between.   Its positive because we all respect one another and one another's boundaries.   We encourage and uplift one another.   So positive as in, people in real life who will have your back?  Those folks are keepers.

I kind of agree with the cause no harm model, the take no shit I'm still working on.   ;)

 

 

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Some people say funny things about people or ideologies which can make you a judgmental and negative person over time. And some negative people can show you their inner beauty, calmness and positiveness.

@Sarper  I really appreciated you pointed this out. 

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Hey dude ! If your looking for positive people and  interested in enrolling other people in the possibility of being positive check out a course called  Landmark. It will completely change your life around and the way you see people in general ! 

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if it´s your family, you cannot eliminate them form your life. it would break theirs and your heart.

If you realize how and when they are being negative, simply don´t let this affect you. keep your optimistic point of view and ignore demotivating messages. ignore their weak moments and enjoy the good ones

as for toxic friends and people who really don´t care about your well being - get rid of them without a blink of an eye or at some point they will do that with you

for 15 years I was ignoring the fact that ¨my best friend¨ is a shitty person because I felt sorry for her. not worth it. in the end I was the one kicked in my ass

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Hey... A wise person told me... That positivity is negativity is non existent 

he said exactly....having beautiful decorations in your house is great. But if you still have a dozen trash in your house, You should realize.... That you still have the dozen trashes in your house. Your house will still stink for you and even for your guest.

You want your bowl empty (credit to Lao try) so when we hit the bowl.... It can make a beautiful sound. If there are dark rocks in the bowl....thhe bowl will not make any beautiful sound when hit. Even if there are pure white rocks in the bowl..... The sound will still not be as beautiful when hit. 

 

The point im saying is find a person that has his bowl empty. His mind being lighter than anyone. 

now that's a big challenge.

But I suggest that empty person won't find you if your bowl is full of rocks. So I believe changing ourselves... Is he most important

Edited by charlie cho

Movie Scene of the Game: Crisis Core Director Lazard: By the way what is your dream, to become a first, is it? Zack: Nope. It's to become a Hero! Director Lazard: Is it so. Quite a sad dream but a good one nonetheless Zack:(

My Instagram: 조상범 charlie (@charlie887) If you can, I always like to talk about important things with people in more depth, be it spirituality, science, religion, or business

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Stop landing your ear to the negative whiners. They'll stop following you. I'm also a huge believer in positive attraction. Keep catching your negative thoughts - and watch positive things start happening to you.

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You attract what you are. End of discussion. Stop judging and blaming people. Theyre all "god", youre mind just puts labels

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You have to become a Postive person . You attract what you are . Become the type of person you want to attract into your life . 

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I dont know if this strategy is good but I just came up with a theory/strategy. 

You go find some friends and hang out with them. Some time you are going to meet new people.Hang out also with them and your previous friends. Then your with your new friends someone that knows someone is going to come, that way you will meet new people. All this will take time. After a long time you will have forgoten the first people you met and you will have find people that are positive. There will be a time that you will meet positive people and then things will get easier cause probably they will know other positive people. The key is to making friends with more than one new person you meet from your friends, not break your old friends till you have many options, then choose the people that you will spend most time with. Meet new people, choose who you will spent time more, go to new people that seem to be on the positive side, and then at this direction keep going to positive people. Keep some old ones so you don't end up being to positive in hard times. I hope this idea work in practice and it's not a fake when it comes to real life.

That's why it's important to hang out and have fun even if it's a little boring day. Even if you do it for long time. Cause that way you don't lose your friends but keep doing things till you find new people and activities, and build better relationships with these friends. You are not only out to have fun, you are also out so you build relationships in order to have even more fun in the future. 

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I totally agree with @anthony can’t say much more then that.

In addition you effect those around you to be more positive if you’re it yourself.

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