Natalya

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About Natalya

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    New York
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    Female

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  1. Depends on what you use social media for. I never post anymore, I've unfollowed most of my friends, except for some that post some really awesome stuff. But I'm subscribed to many useful pages that show up in my newsfeed, like cooking, art, professional development, etc. I've also joined many groups of interest on FB. Besides, it's a good filter for the important news, since I don't have the time to keep up with what's going on in the world. If it's important, you'll see it posted multiple times. Twitter is best for professional/career development and for keeping up with the latest trends in the areas of your interest. Facebook is more for keeping in touch with old friends and making new friends through FB groups and friends of friends.
  2. @dan seeker it's always best to talk to the boundary violator first before going to a supervisor. As you said, people don't always realize they're doing something wrong.
  3. It's not a disorder. It's the lack of discipline. You want someone to tell you it's a disorder, so that you can relax and continue living a lazy victim-minded life. But I'm here to tell you: you're not sick, and you need to lift your butt off the couch and start making serious efforts before you find yourself being 60 years-old and having missed all the opportunities.
  4. Sounds like a bad case of anxiety to me. Practice catching every negative thought in your mind and turning it into a neutral or positive one BEFORE it turns into a huge pile of disaster. Talk to yourself in a compassionate calming way to slow down your thoughts and dissolve some of them. Tornadoes don't happen out of nowhere, they start slowly. You need to learn how to turn your thoughts around. For a temporary but quick relief, give this video a shot:
  5. I get apathy from overexertion. Perhaps, you should take a short break (say, one week) and see if you feel any different?
  6. I feel the same way. And the more self-developed you are, the less topics in common you find with people who don't work on themselves. But you can't just exclude yourself from everyone's lives, so you have to maintain your basic social skills. For example, you can't skip meetings and happy hours at work, unless you want to become an obvious black sheep and eventually get fired. But even though it helps to have a wide networking circle because it means more opportunities, you don't have to connect with many people and you don't have to try too hard to be everyone's friend. At least, that's what I was trying to do for a long time. Eventually, I've learned that long-term relationships with most people should be low-maintenance and even shallow enough because it's when you get too close to people or try to develop meaningful connections, you get disappointed. The good news is that eventually, you do meet some people who you do find some common grounds with, so the conversations are not as boring. What I'd suggest is try to be selective about who you're willing to give more attention to, and only if you must or if you truly like to. Otherwise, you don't need friends. Most of the time, friends hold you down, anyway.
  7. Here is what you need: 1. Ditch dating online. 2. Join local meetup groups. 3. Go to local events. 4. Meet people in person. Don't take online dating seriously. People will treat you just like another profile, as opposed to a human being. When you meet people in person, there is no ambiguity. Either they want to talk to you or they don't. And the best thing is these people are there to meet other people, just like you! Nothing to be afraid of and no reason to feel awkward.
  8. Look up Noah Elkrief on youtube and pick whichever topic you like. His style is more gentle and compationate and provides immediate relief in some cases. He's great for sensitive people who get stuck in the victim menality.
  9. How do you deal with a demanding control freak that happens to be your new boss (she got hired 3 months ago as a replacement for the previous manager). Quitting is not an option, HR and her boss are not interested in personality issues. I've already reached out to them. What techniques would you recommend for avoiding conflict and emotional distress?
  10. It's actually a well-known practice. The principle is the same as practicing public speaking. At first you are terrified, but once you keep exposing yourself to it, you stop worrying. It's true that this technique is not for everyone though and should be applied to only minor PTSDs. Severe traumatic memories may make it worse, especially if you're doing it on your own.
  11. Thank you for the video! Interesting perspective, similar to Leo's enlightment videos. I just started to dig into the concept.
  12. Thank you for the video! Interesting perspective, similar to Leo's enlightment videos. I just started to dig into the concept.
  13. Thank you all so much for your recommendations and guidance!
  14. Very valid points! Thank you! I've never heard of TRE. Will definitely look into it!
  15. Thanks @Ayla. It's funny you mentioned co-dependency because I just bought the "Co-dependent no more" book following someone else's suggestion in another thread. Reading chapter 2 now and so far cannot relate to any of it. lol But I know nothing about the concept, so too early to judge. Regarding fully experiencing emotions and pain - I think that technique is only a temporary relief. I've practiced it before, and it seems to work better for anger, but not fear.