nexusoflife

An Experience of Infinite Universal Love. April 5th 2020

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On April 5th 2020 at around 11:00 PM I had an experience that changed the way I perceive life and an experience that I will remember for the rest of my life. I had a nondual experience unlike any other I’ve ever had before. It was an experience of Infinite Love, complete and total Infinite Love. Recently I have been thinking about and meditating on the areas of being, manifestation, suffering and love. In the days leading up to this experience I have had an increased feeling of calmness, freedom and intense mindfulness. Despite the external appearances of my personal life currently as well as the current affairs of the world right now I feel more free and calm than I ever have in my life. It all feels quite ineffable.

On this particular night I could feel the intensity and depth of the mindfulness I was experiencing. It was a depth, calmness and present moment awareness that I have noticed always precedes my past spontaneous nondual experiences. At the time I was listening to my favorite ambient song and taking in the profound beauty of it. While I was mindfully listening something happened. In an instant everything in my experience of reality just collapsed down into a singularity the experience of perceiving time ceased and I was overwhelmed by a massive torrent of Nondual Universal Love. I began crying and this crying quickly grew to sobbing as my perception expanded almost instantaneously into everything in all of existence. I was everything that ever was, is and will be. I was all of it. However there was no experience of I the self was obliterated the moment this infinite love overwhelmed my being. I have had several nondual and psychedelic experiences on my journey thus far but this time there was an incomprehensibly large flood of ultimate Universal Love like a transdimensional dam had burst and a flood of love from the totality of all existence itself completely engulfed my being. This Love was so much, so powerful that human language entirely and completely fails to describe the absolutely profound level and depth it had.

I immediately knew that existence is Love. I saw the ever present nondual beauty of everything from this state of overwhelming Love. I felt so much love flowing through my being that I felt was melting. Everything that constituted any sense of separation was melting. All I could do in the presence of this Infinite Love was cry in its infinite beauty. Tears of sheer joy and love streamed down my face as I had never felt love so intensely before. I could feel this energetically affecting my physical body on multiple levels, subatomic, atomic, molecular and so on. The feeling of melting away from the intensity of infinite love was ever present. More and more all forms of individuation were melting away. It was as if the Infinite Love of all of creation was a red hypergiant star and that my individuated ego and body instantly melted into disintegration when coming even into contact with this profound absolute Love. It was the most profound thing I have ever experienced in my life. Out of all of the nondual and psychedelic experiences that I have had I’ve never felt such profound Love like this. As I was totally enraptured by this experience I felt the love that a mother feels for her newborn child, the love that the earth has for all of the lifeforms on it, the love of the fabric of existence itself. I felt love that I would instantly sacrifice my physical life for and even beyond that. Love beyond what I thought was ever possible and still that love bloomed and became even more intense. It was an infinite absolutely unconditional love for everything; for all beings, for all phenomena in existence.

As I looked at the room around me I noticed the objects around and I was one with everything. I was on an existential level no different from the bed, the walls, the clothes, the air in the room, the carpet, the dirt on the carpet, the computer. In the binding unity of love I was everything in all of existence without exception. I picked up one of my shirts nearby and folded it up and I held it and hugged it as if it was a baby. As if it was my baby, my child because really all of existence is just that. I felt and exuded this love more intensely than I can put into words. There was a pillow nearby and I picked it up as well and I held it with all of the Love that I could muster. And still the perceiver of the experience was totally melting in contact with this infinite and profound love.

The intensity of the experience got to the point where I felt that my body began vibrating. And I felt this very strange and intense feeling of vibration specifically from my heart area. This strange pulsating vibration branched out from my heart across my entire chest, neck, shoulders, my upper abdominal area and upper back. This pulsating vibration was so strange to feel going through my body. With every breath this pulsating vibration expanded more and more through my body. The intensity of this Love was so great that I didn’t know how I could possibly take anymore, however it continued to expand and even further more engulf me even though there was no me left. As this continued there was the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and reverence that arose as well. I totally embraced obliteration by love and totally gave into the massive tsunami of universal love. The feeling of reverence was too much for words. Tears continued to stream down my face. The pulsating vibrations I felt in my body became even more intense as I placed my hands on my heart I just wanted to open my chest and blast out Love everywhere infinitely. I am not too knowledgeable on the chakra system about how energy flows through it but I feel that that in this experience I had a powerful heart chakra opening. With each heartbeat and each breath I felt my entire being vibrate and reverberate with Love. There is just pure Love.

I came into a state of awe for the enormous love which always emanates through the totality. I just began to say, “wow”, over and over again. Followed by; “this is too much”, over and over again. The level of love that existence is and has for all incarnations is so profound that I don’t think we’ll ever have a way of describing it. You just have to directly experience it to know. As I was fully embraced by the infinite Love of existence I grabbed a blanket and I just wept uncontrollably into it. This went on for what felt like a while. I wept into it from the existential bliss, the existential joy and the sheer incomprehensible amount of love that I was experiencing. And I realized that the substance of existence is Love; that without love that nothing and I mean nothing could exist. Nothing could exist without love. You and I are love. We are love incarnate. We are a love that is so profound that when we know ourselves it’s the most amazing and beautiful thing that you could experience.

The peak of this experience lasted for about an hour. For the rest of the night through sleep and into the next day I was in the afterglow of experiencing the profound infinity of love that constitutes all of existence. I had the realization that everything we beings do in life without exception, we do for love in one way or another and it is expressed in a spectrum of countless ways. This is the first time in life that I have experienced the Love of reality as it actually is; pure nondual infinite Love beyond the illusion of individuated ego experience. Love that will obliterate you because it’s just so much, Love that will break you down and make you cry, make you sob intensely.

A part of my being is fully awake now. I feel energetically different than before that experience. I feel energetically different now, as if I am a different person from before this experience. Experiencing that level of Love permeates every aspect of our being and our experience.

One realization I had was that my entire life up until this experience I thought that suffering was bad. Now I know what suffering is. Suffering is what happens when we knowingly or unknowingly turn away from Love. Because a person who truly understands Love, a person who truly loves themselves would never turn away from Love whether it be the Love of existence itself, the Love of another being, or Love of themselves. The only reason truly that we suffer individually and collectively is turning away from Love, that’s it. And that can breed many other things as a result but fundamentally it’s very simple. If you turn away from Love you turn away from what you truly are and when you turn away from what you truly are you’re out of alignment with the loving flow of the totality of existence and when you’re out of alignment with the loving flow of existence itself; it is so painful. That is when our experience becomes suffering. And we don’t have to suffer. What would serve us best in this life is to constantly and consistently choose Love at every second of every day. Forever. To choose whatever is the highest expression of love. And bask in its radiance and live in this place for our entire time of incarnation.

I felt true freedom in this experience. True freedom. Love is the substance of existence. Love is what you are. There is never ever anything to fear. There is never ever anything to fear. There is never ever anything to be afraid of. Just Love. Just be Love. Just choose Love every single time. Because that is what existence is built upon. That is what existence is. It only hurts when you turn away from love. But if you dive completely into love and totally melt into that experience of being love you will truly know and experience what you are, what the universe is, what God is and that will change every aspect of how you look at life, on the deepest level in every way and thusly change your experience of being forever. I Love you, whoever you are, for we are One.

I want to thank @fridakaia for helping me so much to truly understand what Love is. She is a beautiful and profound being and a lightworker. I also want to thank @Consilience for encouraging me to dive more deeply into Love on my journey.  

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You got it!

Reality is Love.

The end.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@nexusoflife :x:x:x Beautiful account. 


Light on Earth "Don't turn your head. Keep looking at the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you.
And don't believe for a moment that you're healing yourself.~ Rumi

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5 hours ago, Anton Rogachevski said:

What are the implications of such an insight on one's life?

Hard to say. It is both epic and yet not much changes since everything remains what it was. You still have to take a shit the next day as long as you're surviving.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Posted (edited)

5 hours ago, Anton Rogachevski said:

What are the implications of such an insight on one's life?

Until your conditioned mental habits are altered, not that much.

What most people don't know is that self-realization is not merely "spiritual" but "psychospiritual."

After you attain unity consciousness (i.e. the permanent shift into the experience he's describing, consciousness without subject/object duality) it takes years to purify and integrate the psyche.  

You gotta have a ton of patience with the process, and there are no shortcuts.

You still have to face all your demons, in other words "dark night of the soul" many times over.

Edited by Haumea2018

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@Leo Gura Leo My man when are you going to release the next episode we are excited to see your progress and healing abilities and how much you gone deep with spiritual work ? 

i hope you have a good day :$. 

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@Leo Gura It's all Infinite Love, this is it! Thanks for all of the videos and insights Leo. You have helped me immensely on my journey of awakening.

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@Anton Rogachevski Like others here have said it is extremely profound yet all of the aspects of ones life remain in place this includes ones psychology. Much shadow work and integration is to be done to fully express and embody this kind of experience. One thing I will say is that the main thing which changes is the way in which one interfaces with the physical realm. After all of my nondual and psychedelic experiences I have had less and less ego in all of the decisions I make in life and I feel that with this most recent experience it is no longer my will that runs the show. It is the desires of my soul for lack of better terms that my life now abides by. I only use the mind to interface with things in the present moment, there is no more neurotic planning or seeking for anything, no more negotiating with the world. Just the experience of being, and if a decision needs to be made depending on the options available and how congruent they are with the highest expression of my being, dictates the directions I will choose to go in. In short it is no longer my will be done. It is Thy will be done.

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@Zanoni That link was such a beautiful read. Just knowing that other people are also having this experience and opening up to true Universal Love makes me so happy. We really are in the early stages of a mass global awakening of the human species. Thank you for reading my experience. I love you.

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@mandyjw Thank you. You are a beautiful being as well, keep on that path of awakening! I love you.

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@Inliytened1 Yes, this is it. All of existence is Love. I am so thankful that my path led me here. Thank you for reading.

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Posted (edited)

@nexusoflife wow... this is so incredible... Im so happy for you and grateful I was able to help in some way. This is truly an inspiring read and no lie, brings tears to my eyes. What you describe is pure truth and the insight into suffering is extremely profound. Thank you for taking the time to write this up, and thank you for all the work you’ve done to understand existence and your self at this level. 

Edit: Last thing I wanted to mention; just selfishly Ive been going through a weird phase on my own path lately but reading this came exactly when it needed to. Being reminded of the totality and infinity of love is a powerful thing. So... more appreciation 😅🙏🏼

Edited by Consilience

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