The Challenge Of Being Conscious In Social Contexts

[NoMM]

I have been in the "moving to a new country" transition for the past several months and because I had nothing to do, I have been doing a lot of consciousness expansion on myself. 

 

Recently I had a series of social interactions for the first time in those couple of months and I started to notice just how survival-concerned and also unaware of that, the people I was talking to were. I felt a loneliness that I had never felt in my life before. I truly felt isolated, this is because I could not communicate my thoughts nor myself. I can imagine the path ahead of me will only bring more of those biologically hurting emotions. Loneliness is a funny thing, one would expect that due to the understanding and awareness of the loneliness mechanism one would be invincible to such primitive functions, but your body and mind will start to behave in ways unknown to you and without your consent. Loneliness, however, will be transcended the more meditative throughout my days I become, reaching higher and higher levels of consciousness will allow me to bond with existence, but enlightenment is no easy feat, and the moments leading up to it will fragrance with loneliness and abandonment. 

 

I am however of a young age and I would like to socialize, bond, enjoy sex, and create memories. There is a hidden longing for intimacy that is recently starting to surface and reveal itself.

 

My question to you is: 

What does one do? How can one go about creating real social bonds with people without feeling odd and self-restricting?

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, NoMM said:

I can imagine the path ahead of me will only bring more of those biologically hurting emotions.

What?? No! Just go out and be social and share yourself freely. Why are you constructing this pathetic gloomy narrative?

Go have fun. Then come back home and meditate your ass off. You can do both.

Don't make your socializing too serious. A Buddha should be able to go out to a bar and drink some beers with some strangers and talk shit. Then return to his Buddhahood.

Remember, life is long and you got plenty of time to space stuff out. You don't have to do it all at once.

[LfcCharlie4]

@Leo Gura I'm really glad to see this from you man, a lot of people here seem to take shit so seriously, go out and enjoy life!!!!

[bazera]

@Leo Gura I recently started meditating for 20 minutes a day, and I notice that when I'm going out, having fun and socializing, and after all that come back and try to meditate, my mind is all over the place. All those 20 minutes are spent thinking how awesome was the day, how I should be more humorous, how I should be interacting with more girls, and how awesome would it be to talk a bit more with that cute girl and etc, you get the point.

What would you advise in such a case? Literally all those 20 minutes are spent sitting still and mind just wandering to all those places, which I know are the needs that I haven't satisfied yet. 

I think that keeping at least 20 minutes of meditation habit is a good starting point, and the main focus must be on keeping the habit, no matter what.

What do you suggest?

[wesyasz]

I struggle with that too. Not being able to share yourself as nobody understand. I just keep things for myself and try to be loving and good to other people makes me feel at best for where I am at right now.

[Key Elements]

I love networking. This is what I have in common with the ppl. Opportunities are there. Survival is fun and high conscious.

[SoothedByRain]

@Leo Gura Love your attitude but its easier said than done, especially at certain stages of spiritual development. Depends on how much free time one has away from financial acquisition work also. Finding the right circles to blend into helps meeting up with like-minded people.

[Rigel]

@Leo Gura Amen?

[mikelyons]

Part of the reason you become ugly, frail, deaf, blind etc when you're old is so that you can turn inward after a lifetime of life experience and use that to work on your enlightenment. 

When you're young, beautiful, sharp, and can experience your senses fully, go get 'er done! 

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, bazera said:

@Leo Gura I recently started meditating for 20 minutes a day, and I notice that when I'm going out, having fun and socializing, and after all that come back and try to meditate, my mind is all over the place. All those 20 minutes are spent thinking how awesome was the day, how I should be more humorous, how I should be interacting with more girls, and how awesome would it be to talk a bit more with that cute girl and etc, you get the point.

What would you advise in such a case? Literally all those 20 minutes are spent sitting still and mind just wandering to all those places, which I know are the needs that I haven't satisfied yet. 

I think that keeping at least 20 minutes of meditation habit is a good starting point, and the main focus must be on keeping the habit, no matter what.

What do you suggest?

Well, firstly, 20 mins is the bare minimum. It usually takes 20 mins just to calm the mind. So you could meditate longer.

Secondly, part of meditation practice is training to quickly let things go. It's a skill.

Thirdly, you could even practice a bit of meditation while around people. Mindfulness shouldn't end out the door of your house.

[Nahm]

?

[electroBeam]

15 hours ago, NoMM said:

Recently I had a series of social interactions for the first time in those couple of months and I started to notice just how survival-concerned and also unaware of that, the people I was talking to were. 

Your observations may be true, but your judgement towards them are not. The mistake you're making is judging a true insight, rather than lovingly accepting it and embracing it. This is going half way, this is half assing the process, this is devilry judging an aspect of God. And so suffering occurs.

15 hours ago, NoMM said:

I am however of a young age and I would like to socialize, bond, enjoy sex, and create memories. There is a hidden longing for intimacy that is recently starting to surface and reveal itself.

The more conscious you become, generally the less desire you will have for such things, and this is to be welcomed lovingly. But right now, what's important for you to do is live out your desires as if you never had the insight. 

[remember]

19 hours ago, NoMM said:

"moving to a new country"

nice - of course the new country alone will make you already feel more like a stranger. the first social interactions might be about the everyday life problems, that`s normal, because that`s where most people are coiled up in. depending on who you are talking to there might be a situation where this gets more interesting. i mean survival on a different level - survival itself can be huge topic there are a loooooot of books written about survival and  there is a reason why. survival can still be fascinating and especially in another country, the perspective on survival might be a complete different than in the country you grew up in. (from where did you move to where?)

19 hours ago, NoMM said:

I truly felt isolated, this is because I could not communicate my thoughts nor myself. I can imagine the path ahead of me will only bring more of those biologically hurting emotions. Loneliness is a funny thing, one would expect that due to the understanding and awareness of the loneliness mechanism one would be invincible to such primitive functions, but your body and mind will start to behave in ways unknown to you and without your consent. Loneliness, however, will be transcended the more meditative throughout my days I become, reaching higher and higher levels of consciousness will allow me to bond with existence, but enlightenment is no easy feat, and the moments leading up to it will fragrance with loneliness and abandonment. 

loneliness can be beautiful especially when you are in another country, it is a given that a part of you already is lonely due to the strange, because your sense of home is alone in someone elses home - the new home you will slowly integrate into you. what is beautiful about it? can you connect to people so they show you what they like about home? can you connect to that home from your home? can you invite the strange in to yours? enriching cultural and personal interaction starts by accepting loneliness - wandering a street in a strange country alone is exiting! discovering is exciting, yes you will discover it alone! and then at one point you won`t even notice how you made the change, you won`t feel alone anymore because you are part of them aswell. fragrance your time with loneliness but not with abandonment! don`t abandon your loneliness, inhabit it!

Edited November 27, 2019 by remember

[petar8p]

19 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

What?? No! Just go out and be social and share yourself freely. Why are you constructing this pathetic gloomy narrative?

Go have fun. Then come back home and meditate your ass off. You can do both.

Don't make your socializing too serious. A Buddha should be able to go out to a bar and drink some beers with some strangers and talk shit. Then return to his Buddhahood.

Remember, life is long and you got plenty of time to space stuff out. You don't have to do it all at once.

Thank god you mean this. You should definitely consider hamering this point more in your videos, people don't see this side of the coin..