mikelyons

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  1. @Leo Gura I have the same feeling of exhaustion and a loop of intrusive thoughts about hating life and wanting suicide. "I hate life, I don't want a life, I don't want to exist, it's never worth the toil" I know that the 1 rule of this work is to never harm the physical body, and I wont. I've been getting help from therapists and psychiatrists and take medication, but therapists generally don't have spiritual/metaphysical understanding that would be required to help me fix this problem. Or maybe I'm wrong and that's not what I need. The problem is that I've had many awakening experiences and experienced my death, God, Love, the purpose of life. I've been through LPC 3 times and my problem always blocks me from generating a feeling of an authentic result. This is a problem because I still always have the baseline wish to stop the survival treadmill and no longer exist, but I know that it's just an ego fear illusion. It's a problem because I don't want to "bite the mullet" and do the empty work of slaving for survival especially while not getting my ego gratification. I can't even formulate a question to ask you about it because I already have all the answers and they all just lead back to sacrificing my life to Love, even the "why me" question when I see myself nailed to the cross is pointless because I'm all that exists and I know this, experientially. Every time I make an excuse I already then immediately deconstruct it and it falls apart as an illusory self-deception justification for laziness and selfishness. But the thought of the work is exhausting and overwhelming (be it career, exercise, time-management, or consciousness) and I don't want to feed myself or get out of bed ever again, I've already been doing it all for too long. But that's still just a foolish notion not aligned with the highest Love. I should instead do the most loving thing for myself like good food and work hard to invent and align to my Life Purpose. AND ITS OBVIOUS. It's got to be a combination of heavy metal poison, more work to do on the psyche, unsupportive environment, paradoxical curse of success, laziness, trauma, culture, and other excuses. Anything to avoid the responsibility for it. I'm just so exhausted and sad, and afraid because I've never been able to maintain consistency on anything in my life, I'm 35, and the odds of change are so unlikely now, I can't shake the idea that I am on the road to "hell" that is, regret and mediocrity and lack of results. It's so easy to look back and say "if only I wasn't afraid and just did the work" but the work is always way more scary, exhausting and insurmountable in the present. I suppose my question is, for someone like me (this scenario), is there really no advice / escape other than to man up grow some balls and give up the idea of ever getting anything I "want" and just work, work, work the rest of my life, as smart and as hard as I can, and then accept and love what comes completely and absolutely regardless of what it is? And _is_ the surrender, paradoxically, getting serious and throwing myself into Life with infinite zeal? Or is surrender laying in bed and letting myself decline until I am found starved to death, if I can even get past enough discomfort for that ... I can't seem to get past enough discomfort for the first one either, there's no difference between anything!
  2. @Leo Gura Suggestion: an obvious indicator in the video thumbnail of length / that this is a short video. Often when I share with friends and family, as soon as they see your chrome dome in the video thumbnail they're like, "I don't have 3hrs to watch this" even if it's a clips channel video. Maybe the video length in text in the corner? (the length doesn't show in url unfurls in chat apps, only on youtube.com currently) Good work toward making the material more accessible! :thumb:
  3. @Jon_Bundesen Just thought I'd add these too
  4. @Feelove Yes defo worth the $250. Getting more and more value out of the course every year after I bought it, consistently revisiting parts and the whole every year. It's the gift that keeps on giving in many ways. It's added to every aspect of how I think about what I do with my time, even outside business or my professional career. I'm in the middle of a big career change from what I've learned and it'll be a great guide for the future as well.
  5. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-56373202 This is something I am excited about because I have suffered from depression for many years, but have never had the opportunity to try DMT, neither the NN or 5meo variants. Edit: Hoping this isn't too thin / low-quality post. I'd delete if it is.
  6. Can't wait until I get God telekinesis, or shoot I'd even be down for some devil fingertip lightening tbh
  7. Ketamine is fantastic freedom from depression at lower doses, produces that grey temporal-lobe-seizure-like physical-death-like non-existence experience at higher doses. But doesn't last, and requires over-hydration to flush and not erode the bladder lining. It's just so much easier to obtain than synthetic 5meo, just defo watch videos about "ketamine bladder" so you get a healthy dose of fear to steel you against addiction first. 5meo should be on the WHO Essential Medicines List
  8. @Leo Gura So are you on an all-meat diet or similar? I wanted to be vegetarian but I found that I would have health problems every time I tried, and haven't tried an all-meat diet yet, but so many successful seeming people like Lex Fridman eat only meat.
  9. So you'd say, from your research, that exposure to undesirable chems through bathing / aspiration of vapor is too negligible to bother mitigating? I could see that being the case, just curious if that's also your opinion. Sortof a 'choose your battles' result?
  10. RO is the best filtration, but also ruins water pressure, has anyone found a way to have a whole-house RO system that doesn't reduce water pressure to nothing? this is okay for drinking, but if I'm going to use it for showering, that becomes an issue.
  11. BRo, just start jackin steel, become Jerkie McJackterson, and then your bod will be a head-turner, your confidence will sky-rocket, and you'll become more masculine, and Boom you've improved your looks. THEN FOCUS ON PICKUP.
  12. @Leo Gura What makes you prefer Unity, just it's tenure and marketplace? Widely used, big development team?
  13. @Steelheart Maybe next week, maybe the week after, or maybe the week after that, or maybe the week after that, or maybe ...
  14. @BornToBoil suicide is essentially in most cases a refusal to take the responsibility of living out your life through the karmic debts and spiritual lessons that beset you. Reincarnation can be validated in your direct experience if you have an experience of infinite consciousness and omniscience, which can be obtained through what Leo teaches. When you refuse to live out the circumstances of your karma, you end up reincarnating in very similar circumstances because the spiritual growth that was designed for you by God and Karma did not take place, so you're just kicking the can down the road. Why not live out your self actualized life purpose here and now? and then be ultimately liberated from reincarnation?
  15. It would be kinda nice to know what to expect so I don't keep checking every Sunday night for a new video.