for f*cks sake can someone tell me how to stop caring about what people think!

[Mezanti]

i care too much what people think, it consumes most of my thoughts, funny enough my friend is an above average scorer on the psychopath test and he tells me he just can't give a shit what people think of him. hes happy like 99% of the time.

i really wonder what it would be like if thoughts about other people's thoughts didn't exist!

HELP ME WITH THIS,

tell me what to do

[Aeris]

Inquiry on the nature of a memory

[DrewNows]

Mindfulness meditation and self communication. This book would undoubtedly shed some light on whatever you must reconcile within 

 

[pluto]

Once you wake up to the realization that there really are no others, it ceases to exist.

[Mezanti]

@pluto dude lets not kid ourselves here, i need to develop stage red, and your telling me i should awaken..

[pluto]

4 minutes ago, Mezanti said:

@pluto dude lets not kid ourselves here, i need to develop stage red, and your telling me i should awaken..

Its inevitable, you can awaken fully right now if you really wanted to but you do not believe you are worthy on all levels.

[Harikrishnan]

 

1 hour ago, pluto said:

Once you wake up to the realization that there really are no others, it ceases to exist.

Even a glimpse can make u. I experienced it during Vipassana and never looked back since.

[Psyche_92]

 

[Rilles]

shadow work and figuring out what youre actually afraid of

analyze your false beliefs about people and yourself to death, literally

[Shadowraix]

Essentially no-mind practice, belief deconstruction, and going against the grain. 

Exposure therapy does wonders for me. 

Awareness of when you care then let it dissolve. I still get thoughts that I haven't showered yet, I need to get ready to look good for something as little as going to the dollar store down the road. 

Dissolve it, accept how I look then I go in a meme shirt and track pants and I see nobody cares what I look like. 

[Mezanti]

@Psyche_92 didnt help me... now its just become another belief i have and it made me think that i was shitty

[Mezanti]

@Rilles what you said sounds like it could be a good way to aproach solving my problem. Thanks. 
but what exactly are u saying i should do? Could you give examples as to what exercises i should do, and how to do them?

[Rilles]

2 minutes ago, Mezanti said:

@Rilles what you said sounds like it could be a good way to aproach solving my problem. Thanks. 
but what exactly are u saying i should do? Could you give examples as to what exercises i should do, and how to do them?

its obviously personal for you how you do it but...

shadow work = pick something like... shyness for example

you say: i shouldnt be this way, why not? because ive learned that it is bad, is it bad? is it okay to be bad? am i this way? yes, can i allow myself to be this way? what or you stops me from allowing etc. This gives you control of yourself and not getting swayed by others, you start to own the bad parts of yourself.

 

you can check out my Shadow Journal for an in-depth three month journey I did if you want. 

pm me if you want more info or clarification

[Dan502]

Are there any particular themes?

For example, you don't care what they think about what you wear but you really care what they think about your political opinions.

[Mezanti]

I need to solve this issue, so that i could make progress. How do i contemplate? How do i get to experience the root of my caring for what people think.. its not just that, i spend hours in front of a mirror acting out how i should behave around people just so that they like me and want me as their friend. 
its pathological. Help, psychiatrist and psychologist are of no value to me, ive tried them, tried meds like SRI’s, nothing helped. 
If you’ve gone through this issue yourself. Feel generous to write me.

[Inliytened1]

@Mezanti i experienced this too...i think mainly give it time to find out who you are.  Maybe you feel a lack of identity and therefore need to be whatever others want you to be because you have no idea who you are yet.

On the flipside having a loose identity is good for spiritual work - if you do self inquiry there is a good chance you can find Truth and have an awakening.  This will help bigtime.

But more realistically i think you have to develop a sense of who you are because with that will come a sense of confidence deep within - to where you stop caring about what people think.

This seems to also be deeply ingrained in some of us and we need a lot of deprogramming to help us past this.

[Mezanti]

@Inliytened1 its not that i don't have an identity or to little of one, im pretty authentic actually its just there is a lot of pathological speculation about opinions when it comes to dealing with people i want to belong with.

have you gotten over your issues, from what you've said i take it youre still dealing with this, kinda...

 

[Forestluv]

@Mezanti Threads merged. Please don’t start multiple threads in the same topic. 

[Mezanti]

@Serotoninluv sure 

 

[Rilles]

@Mezanti The problem is not necessarily that you care what others think, its that you care MORE what others think than what you think. You lose yourself when you meet other people, its very common.