Relationship Green flags 🌱🏁

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Let's have a wholesome thread. Gimme your earned wisdom! Behavioural signs that are a proxy for good character or trait!

I'll start:

He makes me want to be a better woman. Not because I need his approval or to earn love. Because I genuinely admire him 

Doesnt confuse vulnerability with weakness.

Accepts no with no retaliation.

Doesn't mistake independence for rejection.

Can navigate relational ruptures without throwing out the relationship or abandoning themselves.

I got more, but these are to get us rolling !

Edited 13 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Valach]

Nice thread, thanks for that!

For me it is (in addition to yours):

- Accountibility for their own actions/mistakes

- Desire to understand the other party. Curiosity about what is going on when the other party is becoming emotional or acts out.

- Being able to formulate their emotional needs well without playing games around that.

- General liking of the other gender (not the "I like men/woman because they provide me with validation/stimulation/sex" but truly seeing them for people they are firstly and for their gender as second).

- I am personally not too much into gender roles. So I dislike when people say "men/woman should be like this" (but that is more personal to me). The whole masculinity/femininity is also not my jam.

- Seeing and respecting individuality of the partner, their free will.

- Self esteem, positive view of their bodies and themselves.

Edited 13 hours ago by Valach

[LastThursday]

Nice thread.

She accepts that I'm a different person on different days.

She just enjoys my presence rather than needing something from me.

She doesn't need me to be fixed or saved and vice versa.

We can talk or be silent with each other without feeling neurotic about it.

We let each other know what's on our mind and accept each other's way of seeing things.

We're actually interested in each other.

Edited 12 hours ago by LastThursday

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru what do you mean by not mistaking independence with rejection? I don't understand

[Rishabh R]

@Natasha Tori Maru If she respects herself ,treats me with respect .

If she is honest/vulnerable in her interactions with me .

She doesn't tries to control ,manipulate me but rather accepts me along with my flaws and all. 

 

[Valach]

22 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Natasha Tori Maru what do you mean by not mistaking independence with rejection? I don't understand

A lot of codependent people will feel rejected when their partner wants to pursue some of his/hers interests on their own. 

[Majed]

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Let's have a wholesome thread. Gimme your earned wisdom! Behavioural signs that are a proxy for good character or trait!

I'll start:

He makes me want to be a better woman. Not because I need his approval or to earn love. Because I genuinely admire him 

Doesnt confuse vulnerability with weakness.

Accepts no with no retaliation.

Doesn't mistake independence for rejection.

Can navigate relational ruptures without throwing out the relationship or abandoning themselves.

I got more, but these are to get us rolling !

@Natasha Tori Maru Green flags: 

-She's hot, fit and takes care of her appearance. 

-Same ethnic background or ethnic mind. Like for example, i am very western minded, and my country of heart is italy. If she's italian and has an italian mind, she would be perfect for me. However if she's algerian and is islamically minded, then we won't fit together. Culture is a huge factor for me. 

[Olaf]

Green flags

-resonates with positive emotions and a positive life

-is making effort into planning and has the mental capacity to plan things and take initiative

-stays away from low vibrational places and things

-their energy, if she has unique energy it means she doesn't live like an NPC and that is very attractive, I only met a handful of woman like this

-if she communicates well, I know so many woman who are terrible at communicating, if you communicate well it shows you actually care

-if sex is a big deal for you, huge green flag

-if you are kind, for example I saw a girl give money to a homeless woman, that is a big green flag, she gives a shit

-if they have a purpose, if they are willing to grow, if they are willing to become better instead of settling for a dead end job and a bad life

-if she has cool friends and her friends are as cool as her

Edited 10 hours ago by Olaf

[Ulax]

Doesn't do the behaviours in Dr Ramani's Narcissistic behaviour's glossary

[iamlite]

Support

Empathy 

Express positive emotions with words and actions as much as possible

You feel good around him/her

Nonviolence, freedom

[trenton]

Has the same face as her dating profile

Doesn't ask for your money to travel

[Olaf]

@trenton you have very low standards 

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, Olaf said:

@trenton you have very low standards 

[Sugarcoat]

Being intimidated at first

[Zenterus]

- Is a good non-judgmental listener, which is so rare these days.

- Has deep empathy for those struggling in life and the less priviledged.

- Comfortable spending time alone with themselves without constant outside stimulation to distract them.

[Valach]

6 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

- Is a good non-judgmental listener, which is so rare these days.

- Has deep empathy for those struggling in life and the less priviledged.

- Comfortable spending time alone with themselves without constant outside stimulation to distract them.

Those are very good ones! But also very rare ones  

[Salvijus]

45 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Being intimidated at first

Intimidated of what? 

[Basman]

39 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

- Is a good non-judgmental listener, which is so rare these days.

- Has deep empathy for those struggling in life and the less priviledged.

- Comfortable spending time alone with themselves without constant outside stimulation to distract them.

so an introverted doormat lol

[Valach]

12 minutes ago, Basman said:

so an introverted doormat lol

 What is doormatish about any of that?

[Basman]

1 minute ago, Valach said:

 What is doormatish about any of that?

Compassionate listener types tend to be doormats in my experience. Like they keep hanging out with druggos and bums and act like their therapist.