Am I Finally Ready To Let Go of Dating?

[Miguel1]

I think I can safely say I’ve tried pretty much everything I can to find a conscious and compatible partner.

It is just so rare in my age group.

At this point I really am not interested in any normal relationship where I have to play its games and follow its rules.

If I can accept this fully and let go, it will free me of so much mental energy and time.

Who here is at the same place?

It is simply so hard to at this point compromise my commitment to truth, honesty and authenticty - and to play the dating game with normies, as it requires so much sneakiness and games.

Edited 6 hours ago by Miguel1

[Lyubov]

How old are you? You sound frustrated. What lead you to making this post?

[Miguel1]

@Lyubov 31. I’m looking to date girls a few years younger

8 months of actively dating different people got me burned out with all the fakery that is socializing with normies, and especially dating.

Edited 6 hours ago by Miguel1

[Lyubov]

17 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

@Lyubov 31. I’m looking to date girls a few years younger

8 months of actively dating different people got me burned out with all the fakery that is socializing with normies, and especially dating.

What do you mean by all the fakery though?

[LordFall]

Freeze your sperm and take your time, there's no rush biotech is on our side. You can take the next 10 years to explore life more and then settle down and have kids in your 40s.

We've had this conversation before but I think your mindset is the problem. Whether or not you accept that, the advice is still the same. Breaks and letting go of pressure and expectations are great and the gift of life that we have in the 21st century and in the west is living life mostly on our terms. Having your dream dating life on your own terms is one of the key parts of that. 

I've taken about 3 years off of dating now to be able to tackle my dating life the way I envision it and I feel great about it. The man I was 3 years ago could not get the dream dating life I want. I hate compromising and 2027 is lining up to be able to give me all that I've ever wanted in terms of dating and I'm very excited to dive back in. 

Edited 5 hours ago by LordFall

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just remain open, but don't bang your head against the wall investing so much energy in it.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[Leo Gura]

Bro, that's why yogis live in caves.

At some point you will become so conscious that you will even stop wanting a girlfirend.

Don't forget, girls are Maya.

Why do you care about girls at all? As a distraction from being God.

But, you are still young, so perhaps you aren't ready to hear this yet.

Edited 4 hours ago by Leo Gura

[LordFall]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Bro, that's why yogis live in caves.

At some point you will become so conscious that you will even stop wanting a girlfirend.

Don't forget, girls are Maya.

Why do you care about girls at all? As a distraction from being God.

But, you are still young, so perhaps you aren't ready to hear this yet.

Seems like cope for a lack of effective dating strategy IMO. Especially since the desire seems to be there and it's the strategy and abundance that's the problem. This advice sounds like ascetic escapism. 

Edited 4 hours ago by LordFall

[PenguinPablo]

Nice try bud. 

You are using this thread to find potential candidates.

Don't fall for his tricks ladies. 

This is an advanced PUA tactic.

Kidding...

Bro tbh it won't be easy. The state of the world is horrendous. But I think it is possible to find a vibrational match. Don't give up hope. But at the same time people are growing a lot in awareness. It's a weird paradox and we're in an awkward transition stage as a a global society it seems.

People are becoming aware of how broken the world. How broken we ourselves are. The masks are slipping. They no longer work. 

That's a good thing. But it's like we're all naked and we don't know what to do next.

Edited 4 hours ago by PenguinPablo

[MuadDib]

54 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Freeze your sperm and take your time, there's no rush biotech is on our side. You can take the next 10 years to explore life more and then settle down and have kids in your 40s.

You can also do massive anonymous sperm donations; then you will look at every kid born thereafter with a father's eyes. Literally every kid has a tiny probability of literally being yours, bootstrap turquoise. Modern problems require modern solutions. The right partner will understand.
 

 

[CARDOZZO]

Stop playing a spiritual persona to appear "advanced" on a forum.

Just bang hot girls and be enlightened anyways 😎

[Yimpa]

When you realize you are identical your mother, everything changes. In other words, you become highly skeptical that “another” can actually fill you.

It doesn’t have to even be your mother. I’ve had the most profound connection when I realize that I am you.

Edited 3 hours ago by Yimpa

[LordFall]

33 minutes ago, MuadDib said:

You can also do massive anonymous sperm donations; then you will look at every kid born thereafter with a father's eyes. Literally every kid has a tiny probability of literally being yours, bootstrap turquoise. Modern problems require modern solutions. The right partner will understand.
 

 

I have a very strong paternal instinct so I would be very unsettled by kids running around that I don't know about but it seems to work for others.

6 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

When you realize you are identical your mother, everything changes. In other words, you become highly skeptical that “another” can actually fill you.

IMO there's concepts being mixed up here. I don't see any reason why enlightenment would make you less satisfied with dating. I think indeed you have to become satisfied with your life and your purpose in it and add dating as a cherry on top then.

What's not to love about finding people similar to you to go on adventures with? Even if I'm the same as every other human on earth there are many varying kinds of pursuits that people find meaningful so finding the right feminine counterparts to spend my many future hundreds of years in this world with seems like a very fun quest. 

Most male dating issues are about lacking the abundance to be able to attract the right partners or having the right leverage in society to live the life they envision or lacking the screening skills to refuse partners that don't fit their desired life.

Edited 3 hours ago by LordFall

[Zenterus]

Dude, I've been feeling a similar kind of way, lately. I spent a good chunk of yesterday questioning if I even want a girlfriend at all and I'm left so conflicted by it.

On one hand, it would be nice to have a woman by my side that i trust, I'm deeply in love with and who I can grow and bask in the experiences of life with. 

On the other hand, literally most women that I meet, I feel nothing for. I'm not sure if it's the massive sexual abundance I've conditioned myself with during my player years that have erroded my ability to really see the beauty in these women or whether I just genuinely don't connect with them.

All I know is that these days when I go out, i am not motivated at all to socialize, to date, to pursue, to approach much. I've fallen so in love with loving myself that socializing can feel like self-neglect/compromise sometimes.

Will I call it quits? I don't know, man, probably will keep trying. However, I will definitely take it slower and let it come at its own time.

Edited 3 hours ago by Zenterus

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

Seems like cope for a lack of effective dating strategy IMO. Especially since the desire seems to be there and it's the strategy and abundance that's the problem. This advice sounds like ascetic escapism. 

There is a difference between craving some candy and building your entire life around candy.

I don't deny that I like candy. But I'm not building my life around it.

Edited 3 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Yimpa]

20 minutes ago, LordFall said:

What's not to love about finding people similar people to you to go on adventures with?

It’s a difference in perspective, personality, and values. I can play the game of human connection for a bit, but not for the long run. Acting like I deeply care and prioritize human connections is wrong and inauthentic and will hurt others in the long-term if I keep that act up.

1 hour ago, PenguinPablo said:

Nice try bud. 

You are using this thread to find potential candidates.

Don't fall for his tricks ladies. 

This is an advanced PUA tactic.

Kidding...

 

[LordFall]

It seems like you guys are stuck in normative dating. Have you guys tried BDSM? It seems like you guys are describing a nagging girlfriend that will pull you away from your goals in life and be a waste of energy.

It's definitely possible to find an intelligent, beautiful, insightful woman that will be completely submitted to you and love every second of it that you can build whatever business or life purpose goals you want with and have all the kinky wild sex while also experiencing the other parts of relationships like support through tough times and children. I want a few women like that in my life, I think we'll have phenomenal adventures together and build something truly great in the process. 

Remember that 50 Shades of Grey and Twilight are amongst the most popular women's media ever and they definitely don't depict vanilla dating. Nobody likes that shit, it's just a greatest common denominator that's helped us maintain society and reproduce up to this point. 

Of course dating like a normie is a giant headache not worth dealing with for anyone that's done serious self-development. 

If you guys have never been on this website you're missing out

https://fetlife.com/

It's possible to be asexual and have a low libido but from the look of it, it sounds mostly like a lack of alignment. 

@Leo Gura Bro I think you need like 20% of a sex cult and you'll be much happier. Ethically and aligned with the women of course but plenty of really cool women would be really into that. 

Edited 3 hours ago by LordFall

[Judy2]

3 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

@Lyubov 31. I’m looking to date girls a few years younger

8 months of actively dating different people got me burned out with all the fakery that is socializing with normies, and especially dating.

 

3 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

I think I can safely say I’ve tried pretty much everything I can to find a conscious and compatible partner.

It is just so rare in my age group.

At this point I really am not interested in any normal relationship where I have to play its games and follow its rules.

If I can accept this fully and let go, it will free me of so much mental energy and time.

Who here is at the same place?

It is simply so hard to at this point compromise my commitment to truth, honesty and authenticty - and to play the dating game with normies, as it requires so much sneakiness and games.

you made it sound like you're like 80 lol.

why not make this a "for now" decision, rather than a "forever" decision? 

[Lyubov]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There is a difference between craving some candy and building your entire life around candy.

I don't deny that I like candy. But I'm not building my life around it.

Be honest though, would you date yourself? Like are you able to relate and keep a long term relationship with a woman? 

I’m not saying anyone has to. There are great benefits to being single. But I wouldn’t just set up normal life stuff like relationships and whatnot at one oppositional end of a dichotomy with the other side being spirituality. 

Maybe some people aren’t wired for long term relations with women? Not as a spiritual truth (although I think it could be one aspect of it) but just your own authenticity and uniqueness not boding well with the female populace. Maybe some people simply don’t see the benefit for them on their path. 

I can’t say being married is so so much better than being single. But it’s nice to have a family and be together with someone you enjoy the company of. 

[Zenterus]

19 minutes ago, LordFall said:

If you guys have never been on this website you're missing out

https://fetlife.com/

I don't know how fetlife is in Canada, but every munch I've been to in the Netherlands sucked. The women are not that attractive and a lot of them neurodivergent in some form or another. I can pickup a hotter, neuro-normative girl in a regular social meetup and gradually introduce her to my depraved sexual fantasies over time, which is preferable than having to deal with these fetlife people.

And, of course, if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. 9s and 10s have no issue attracting dominant men in their lives. They don't need to go on fetlife unless there's something wrong with them. Same with feeld. Any dating app or website that is explicitly about sex, usually attracts unattractive women who have trouble procuring it naturally.

Edited 2 hours ago by Zenterus