Trauma Makes You Stronger?

[Butters]

Would you agree with this? 

I was wondering this today: if Leo had had very serious childhood trauma, would there be an Actualized.org? Or would Leo have created a totally different product for a different audience, possibly something about healing trauma? 

@Leo Gura

Did Leo's non-traumatized childhood contribute to Actualized accuracy / purity? 

[toczix]

I believe that trauma in and of itself doesn't inherently make anyone stronger, but it can be a catalyst for transformation - and that journey of "overcoming" can build strength.

[IslandWild]

NO. It's obvious to me it's the exact opposite. Trauma is absolutely crippling. It can set you back years, even decades in your development as a person. Look at the majority of stable and successful people that have their lives together with no significant issues. A quick investigation with reveal most of them had safe, privileged upbringings - so nothing really slowed them down or got in the way from them accomplishing the things they wanted. While if you interviewed people with debilitating problems, or even regular people with significant issues and got an honest history - you could trace a lot of it back to their traumatic source and event or environment from their childhood.

It's even more brutal than you realize. Some people NEVER recover from their trauma and it ruins their life or just straight up kills them. They never seek out or get the help they need and turn to drugs, commit some significant crime, or die from being around other unstable, violent people. Of course there are some who rise to the occasion and overcome it, but I would say they are the exception not the rule. I would argue trauma is the source of all our problems and why the world seemingly has so many issues. Imagine a world without trauma. We would have a utopia on Earth and colonized our entire solar system by now.

I had a pretty decent upbringing by comparative standards, but I am aware that even the minor trauma that I was a victim of significantly shaped my personality and attitudes in life which has slowed me down relative to where I would be if those things didn't happen.

Edited 7 hours ago by IslandWild

[Jirh]

There's a certain amount of stress and challenge that is healthy and ideal for growth. It's different for different people, but it's there.

Too little makes you soft, and too much makes you hard.

As a child, you want constant doses of mild to moderate stress and challenges. This build resilience and strength to handle more difficult situations as an adult.

[YIDIRYIDIR]

@Butters I'm just replying to the title. brotherrrr trauma makes you weak as fuck. healing from trauma is what makes you stronger. 

[Carl-Richard]

There are potentially traumatizing events, then there is trauma (a particular response to potentially traumatizing events), then there are coping mechanisms and response to trauma. There is wide variety within these.

[Lila9]

Sometimes trauma, especially childhood trauma, can give you skills and a level of maturity beyond your age. If you were a child surviving in a difficult environment, it certainly shaped your brain in specific ways. It can make you hyper-independent and self-reliant, which can be very helpful. Life’s hardships may not bother you as much as they do people who grew up in more secure and healthy families, because you were already “trained” by your childhood. As a result, there are fewer things that can surprise or scare you. You also become very aware of human nature and gain a kind of “street-smart” intuitive understanding of reality and life. You also value many things that others take for granted.

However, this can also become a barrier when you want to develop yourself, build a career, or simply have a healthy, functional life and relationships especially when you don’t know what a healthy and functional life and relationships should look like. You may need to unlearn many things, such as bad habits, negative beliefs about yourself. Build yourself from scratch.

You may also need to do shadow work, parentify yourself and find people who are secure enough to help you rebuild your trust in others and form healthy, loving relationships with them. This is often a difficult, lifelong process.

For me, every time I do some inner work and feel like I’ve healed a part of myself, I later discover that it was only the beginning, and that there is still more to uncover and heal.

[Davino]

If someone comes and beats you with a stick, does that make you weaker or stronger?

Reality is; the whole ordeal is what you make out of it.

[Ulax]

I would say that it can make someone stronger but it is really a result of the context in which the trauma occurs. There is indeed such a thing as post-traumatic growth, where people can grow from experiencing trauma. However, I would argue that only occurs if the trauma occurs in a certain context and/ or the aggrieved person has certain corrective life experiences. 

However, its important to look at how demographics tend to respond to things. And the ACE (Adverse childhood studies) consistently point to the conclusion that the more traumas a kid goes through the more likely they are to die significantly younger, have more diseases, worse mental health and health outcomes.

Imo, this does not mean that an individual is doomed to a worse outcome. They might get lucky and have corrective life experiences. For example, they make friends with the kid of a trauma therapist who gives them recommendation that put them on a path with much better outcomes. 

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, Butters said:

Did Leo's non-traumatized childhood contribute to Actualized accuracy / purity? 

Yes.

- - - - - -

I depends on how heavy the trauma is and how consciously it was processed. Most trauma is unconscious and unprocessed, so it weakens people. But trauma made conscious makes you stronger.

The heavier the trauma the more it weakens and corrupts the mind.

[integral]

Trauma is like cutting your arm off. No you dont get stronger. 

[integral]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

But trauma made conscious makes you stronger.

Thats reasonable but rare. Ive only seen the facade of strength born from trauma, like Elon or Perterson.

Trauma making people stronger is more myth/legend at this point, makes for a good movie plot point and not all the practical.

People tend to become strong with a difficult but balance early life circumstance. But when it gets to extreme it turns them into maniacs.

[Nivsch]

Trauma isn't something one person had and another didn't have, but something we all had degrees of it in different forms and intensities.

Processing trauma in a healthy way takes months and years and is one of the best catalysts for development and growing.

Edited 2 hours ago by Nivsch

[Natasha Tori Maru]

It can go both ways. It appears to be linked to genetics (how we respond, which predispositions are activated).

Some people recover and others do not. Sink or swim.

The trauma I suffered made me who I am today - and I am infinitely stronger and have a better idea of who I am. What I am capable of. And where my limits are. My siblings all endured the same situation that lead to the trauma - but two of them ended up addicts, with severe panic disorders, anxiety and CPTSD. My younger brother and I walked away okay.

How each person responds is totally different.

Edited 2 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[integral]

In general if something makes you stronger its not trauma. It didnt hit that level yet for that person, even if others had similar circumstances that traumatized them.

Hard event -> interpretation -> growth

Hard event -> interpretation -> trauma

The word trauma means the result not the event. People are using this word wrong

Edited 2 hours ago by integral

[jimwell]

Trauma is both a curse and a blessing. It destroys you internally, and if you don’t conquer it, you stay dysfunctional (especially if it leads to mental illness) and miserable until death. But if you do conquer it, it becomes your anti‑kryptonite.

If I had experienced a decent childhood, my life would have been much easier. I probably would have become a multi‑millionaire by now. It’s difficult not to be wealthy when you are endowed with love and stability from the age of 1 and begin focusing on accumulating money or business by 7 or 12. This has been the case for all or almost all multimillionaires and multibillionaires. They started very young.

I spent my entire 20s and even my early 30s focusing on rectifying the internal destruction inflicted by my foolish father. There was no opportunity to focus on accumulating wealth. But I feel grateful to my father and cousin for their "services" because their shit shaped who I am today. My internal turmoil was alchemized into anti‑kryptonite and beauty in my early to mid‑30s. Life is profoundly counterintuitive. I know how good my spirit is because I have experienced an extremely horrible one.

Would I trade beauty of character for 1 million USD? NO.

Would I trade beauty of character for 100 million USD? NO.

How about 1B USD? NO.

How about 1T USD? NO.

CHARACTER > money and wealth... no regret. 

[Lila9]

Trauma survivors, especially those who have done inner work, are like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

23 minutes ago, integral said:

In general if something makes you stronger its not trauma. It didnt hit that level yet for that person even if others had similar circumstances that traumatized them. 

I am not sure about that.

I was terribly damaged and non-functional as a result of what I endured. It was diagnosed as CPTSD by medical professionals. I have since healed recovered from CPTSD. Does this mean I did not suffer a traumatic event? Trauma is not an official, formal diagnosis.

Trauma is a deeply distressing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope.

@Lila9

Quote

Trauma survivors, especially those who have done inner work, are like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

100%

Edited 2 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[integral]

21 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I am not sure about that.

I was terribly damaged and non-functional as a result of what I endured. It was diagnosed as CPTSD by medical professionals. I have since healed recovered from CPTSD. Does this mean I did not suffer a traumatic event? Trauma is not an official, formal diagnosis.

Trauma is a deeply distressing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope.

Those that have the capacity to recover had that capacity before the event.

It depends how you want to use the word. If you want to call CPTSD trauma even if it was recoverable, thats reasonable.

Im placing it as trauma is not recoverable. Like brain damage from a stroke is permanent damage.

The people I know who could not recover from their trauma, it paints trauma in a very different light. These people are completely crippled. And it's not as simple as that they could just recover from it with hard work. Even though that's what we want to believe is possible.

I want to place trauma as a very significant event that you're not gonna come back from. But we could also lighten the word and use it more loosely. 

I experienced extreme trauma and fully recovered, and it did help me grow, but I had so many things going for me in terms of developmental resilience/potential that allowed me to recover.

People that didn't recover from drama really had nothing going for them before beforehand, I mean it's like there defenceless children.

Edited 2 hours ago by integral

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@integral Thats fair - I just note that is not typically what most people refer to as their definition of trauma.

Samskara is a good word for it - an emotional echo that leaves a malfunctioning pattern in our thinking and behaviour after the event. Like a broken program running on a loop, inhibiting the sufferer from functioning.

I think it physical and emotional trauma should be a distinction.

For example - I have a TBI. Physical trauma. I also had CPTSD. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Natasha Tori Maru