DXM - Understanding Nothingness

[Lazarus93]

The following post might not make much sense to you if you haven't reached a high enough consciousness at some point in your life.

Yesterday, I took 300mg of DXM. Long story short, at the peak of the trip, I just realized how fucking radical it is for anything like consciousness to exist at all. It felt like I 'broken' reality and went to a place where I was aware of my room, my body, the entire universe including all others, and could clearly see how they are all just being constructed in some kind of void, alongside all of existence. I could clearly understand that this void is what I've always been, but because of distractions in life (such as having a human identity, having to go to school, etc.), I somehow mistakenly stopped identified as the infinite void and genuinely started believing I was a 'person in a world.' 

Kind of like: You start playing a hypothetical video game in VR that lasts 80+ years. At first, you clearly know you are inside a game. But as time goes on, due to the sheer length of the game and how immersive it is, you genuinely start to believe you are the 'character in the game' rather than a player playing as a character inside the game. It also made me just think of how stupid materialism is: "I can picture a planet inside my mind. If you somehow dissect my entire body and brain, you would not find a planet anywhere inside my body."

So where is the image of the planet occurring? Nowhere! Reality is literally happening nowhere. "Nothing" IS the background to everything. And this nothing is Me/You. We are literally the same being/awareness/nothingness. When I die, and when you die (or when I stop imagining myself and this world, and when you stop imagining yourself and the world) we will both return to being the same being. It is the only being that exists. And this being is literally 'nothing.' It is the primordial void. God. When we are so immersed in our lives and with survival, we fail to grasp the obvious due to being immersed in many delusions. But if you take a psychedelic or dissociative, you can clearly see just how radical reality is.

Solipsism is true once you reach a high enough consciousness: THERE IS ONLY ONE MIND THAT EXISTS! AND ITS ME/YOU. If you are reading this and are conscious, that is me reading my own message. It doesn't matter if you are dissociated and you don't realize right now that you are also the one typing this post. But you are me. I am you. You are literally me in another point in this infinite dream. I am you in another point in infinity. However, quite literally, we are the same being at our core.

I feel like now I understand what "Death is imaginary" really means. Death is literally you/me completely stopping the identification of being a 'body in a world.' You become your true self. Which is the infinite void/nothingness/god that precedes all of reality and is the only thing to exist. I also realized why it's called 'God.' Because: You have to realize how impossible it is for anything to exist at all. Seriously. Even if you a staunch materialist, you run into the infinite regress problem. What 'space' did the big bang occur in? What preceded the big bang? The only thing that CAN exist (God) IS the only thing that DOES exist. God is a self-aware nothingness in which literally everything arises, from people, relationships, universes, matter, etc. The substance of everything IS nothing at the deepest level. Do you realize just how truly INSANE it is for anything to exist at all? That is a miracle of such proportions that if your consciousness isn't high enough, you just accept 'things existing' and life occurring as if its nothing special. NO!! Realize just how FUCKING CRAZY it is that things, bodies, planets, etc. exist at all.

 

[Yimpa]

 

I usually don’t read long posts, but this one is special. Thank you for sharing ^^

[manuel bon]

Damn sounds a serious trip, I didn’t know you can get that with cough syrup 

[Oppositionless]

6 hours ago, manuel bon said:

Damn sounds a serious trip, I didn’t know you can get that with cough syrup 

It's because of PR. Mostly dumb kids take it and they have dumb experiences.

also pure dxm is better than cough syrup 

Edited 22 hours ago by Oppositionless

[Leo Gura]

@Lazarus93 Bingo! 

That is proper Awakening!

Exactly what I am trying to teach 

Edited 8 hours ago by Leo Gura

[bazera]

Thanks for sharing!

Do you also practice some manual spiritual practices that helped with those insights or you just take psychedelics?

[Lazarus93]

9 minutes ago, bazera said:

Thanks for sharing!

Do you also practice some manual spiritual practices that helped with those insights or you just take psychedelics?

I did some mindfulness meditation in my past to become more grounded and focused for school, but I wouldn't really say that they helped me awaken because when I used to do it, I was deeply very engrossed in materialism. It was also hard for me to meditate in general due to having a very overactive monkey mind.  

I have done several shroom trips, and have done DXM about 9 times. So far, it seems each time I take a psychedelic or dissociative, depending on how willing I am to let go, I can awaken deeper during the trip. I have a very strong ego / idea of a human identity, and I am quite attached to this idea usually, so it is quite hard for me to let go and live in this state, but that is fine. I understand the ego is a tool for survival. I use it to ensure all my survival needs and wants are met. 

For someone like me, a psychedelic or dissociative completely collapses my ego for a few hours, which is when I fully understand the magnitude of these realizations depending on how willing I am to let go during the trips. It is very hard to have these insights in the natural sober state - you are wired to survive and thus all your thoughts/beliefs/rationalizations/ideas are fully focused towards ensuring survival rather than seeing Truth, in ways that you perhaps weren't even aware of pre awakening. For example, during this trip I fully realized just how many lies I told myself to build up my worldview, and how painful it was to let some of these lies go during my trip because it literally felt like death.

 

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Lazarus93 Bingo! 

That is proper Awakening!

Exactly what I am trying to teach 

Its crazy Leo. I have been watching your videos for many years. Before, I thought I understood what you meant by some of the things you talk about in your videos, but after having awakenings, I can fully understand and appreciate some of your more advanced insights, which in the past, sometimes I used to think were airy fairy concepts or just simply beliefs and word games. 

[Miguel1]

Wow, what a read!

Even tho I have not directly experienced these states, it is still a powerful and beautiful expression for me, as it gets me looking forward to it and to imagine how beautiful it will be.

Cheers!

[PsychedelicEagle]

Cheers! Really nice report. Hadn't heard of DXM before. How long did the trip last? And, do you perform any form of concentration or self-inquiry during the come up to prime the awakening to happen?

[Lazarus93]

18 minutes ago, PsychedelicEagle said:

Cheers! Really nice report. Hadn't heard of DXM before. How long did the trip last? And, do you perform any form of concentration or self-inquiry during the come up to prime the awakening to happen?

DXM trips for me always last about 8 hours, where it peaks between hour two and hour six with a few more hours of afterglow at the end. For me, concentration or self-inquiry is not necessary during the peak of my DXM trips. Even on a 2nd plateau dose (Around 200-600 mg. DXM trips are divided into four plateaus with the first two plateaus being recreational, and the 3rd/4th plateau being spiritual in nature where a lot of people report having out of body experiences and 'creating universes with their minds'), my sense of self evaporates very quickly and many of the insights become very self-apparent. 

I haven't gone higher than 2nd plateau and don't plan to for a while. This trip also made me realize how much of my human potential I was wasting by chasing awakening/god-realization instead of focusing on life goals. Infinity is ultimately where I will end up, might as well enjoy the game of life and being a finite self to the fullest degree possible while I am here. I have been using spirituality to bypass a lot of my everyday problems, and now I am fully focused on facing and fixing them.

[LoneWonderer]

Thank you for sharing your story, it's very inspiring! 🙏 

[PolyPeter]

On 30/01/2026 at 11:11 PM, Lazarus93 said:

you just accept 'things existing' and life occurring as if its nothing special. NO!

 

[emil1234]

beautiful. i view the point of life as becoming ever more conscious of the infinite miracle that it is

[Joshe]

I'd be careful.

Notice you found exactly what Actualized.org told you you would find. You sought Leo's teachings, took a dissociative, and found... Leo's teachings. 

You said you used to think Leo's advanced insights were "airy fairy" but now you "fully understand" them. Is it possible you just trained yourself to see them? How would you know the difference between discovering reality and having your mind reflect back what you've been feeding it?

If someone absorbed a different teacher's framework for years and took DXM, is it possible their trip would confirm that framework?

You had ideas about solipsism already in your head. You had tried to make sense of them. Then, you altered your consciousness with a chemical and the intent to "see something". 

More simply, you had concepts, added a drug, and got those concepts back in experiential form. 

Consciousness is very plastic and fluid. It can do this with anything. 

Just something to keep in mind. 

[PolyPeter]

11 minutes ago, Joshe said:

More simply, you had concepts, added a drug, and got those concepts back in experiential form. 

Psychedelics are not just drugs.

This are Consciousness expanding tools.

See, it is weird what you said, because on one hand you assume this are just drugs, and on the other hand you take this as a serious possibility ""get concepts back in experiential form"", which makes no sense.