Where do you go to meet women now that you're in your 40s, Leo?

[Hardkill]

I know that most single men in their 40s usually don’t go to bars, clubs, chaos-driven parties, or wild places like Vegas or Cancun to meet women—at least not the way younger guys do. Either they’re just not interested anymore, or they have a harder time relating to those environments, especially when most of the women there are in their late teens to 20s.

So, do you still meet girls in any of those kinds of places, Leo?

Or not so much anymore?

I’m asking because I only have a couple of years left before I turn 40, and I know I won’t be ready—at least for another year—to fully commit to consistently cold approaching, especially in nightlife settings. I still need to focus on finishing my doctoral degree in physical therapy, figuring out how to get my own place, and getting other parts of my life in order.

I don't see meeting women just through social circle ever working for me unless I get really lucky.

[Princess Arabia]

It's not about the age but more about the personality. I see plenty of older men out at bars and clubs and places like that. It's just they're mostly out during the day and during the week. Late night and especially week-end nights is when the younger crowd mostly are out. If anything, it's older men VS older women who still go out to those places after 40 if they are that type. Golf clubs, restaurant bars and concerts and jazz clubs are common for older folks. For older men, it's not a deterrent as much because they can still attract younger women. Older women are more selective and aren't out partying as much but I see men of all ages all the time out both alone and in groups. 

Also, I lived in Vegas for a couple years and that place was filled with older men, and women too, day and night. Plenty of older women were partying and clubbing. They were hot and sexy too. Vegas is filled with those types of women. Older men galore and I mean even 50's and 60's. Nothing for men that age to go out but maybe not night clubs but more lounges and bars and social clubs.

[Leo Gura]

I rarely meet anyone these days. I have very little stomach for socializing.

[Puer Aeternus]

22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I rarely meet anyone these days. I have very little stomach for socializing.

Someone in the shadows right now 

 

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

I rarely meet anyone these days. I have very little stomach for socializing.

Oh...

Yeah, I hear you. Are you just preoccupied with other areas in your life right now or just had your fill with socializing, dating, and like you used to?

But honestly, I really want—and need—to get good with people, especially women. I know I’ve got a limited window before I hit 40, and even though I’m still deep in school and figuring out my living situation, I don’t want to keep putting this part of life off. Social skills, connection, confidence—it all matters.

That doesn’t mean I should be discouraged from practicing socializing and interacting with a lot of people—including women—in bars, clubs, big chaotic parties, and similar settings, even in my late 30s or early 40s, right?

Edited Monday at 04:43 AM by Hardkill

[RendHeaven]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I rarely meet anyone these days. I have very little stomach for socializing.

@Leo Gura Actualized.org community IRL meetup when? :]

[AION]

Owen Cook says it is easier to date as a guy at that age because you suppose to have an establish social circle and have your things in order. I would focus on building your social circle if you aren’t that type of guy who knows how to talk to a woman in a supermarket or something. 

Edited Monday at 07:12 AM by AION

[Daniel Balan]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I rarely meet anyone these days. I have very little stomach for socializing.

That blog post from January titled what is there to talk about with humans, or something similar, still echoes in my mind from time to time although I haven't read it since! But everytime I have a conversation with a human I remember that blog post and I marvel how much I identify with everything you wrote in there. Humans are so shallow, so empty, so superficial, so false. My extended family came to my house recently and I love them and all, but I simply found nothing meaningful to talk to them. Every year that goes by I feel less and less motivated to even entertain a basic convo with stage red people. Their immaturity, their conspiracy theories, their backwardness made me litteraly throw up in the middle of the gathering. 

But I am proud of myself. Because I have risen well above the centre of gravity of development that my family is at. And because I never cared about being validated by anyone, It makes me even more eager to push into tier 2, seeing the staggering difference in development between me and them, I am perfectly fine for being seen as the traitor and the outcast of the family, I feel like I am on the right path if stage red sociopaths want to always hate and bully me for being different than them. 

Going above the centre of gravity of one's culture is a rare thing, and I will do my best to never regress back and every year to increase the gap between my development and theirs.

Edited Monday at 08:14 AM by Daniel Balan

[Zen LaCroix]

On 7/20/2025 at 11:38 PM, Leo Gura said:

I rarely meet anyone these days. I have very little stomach for socializing.

This is actually what Owen Cook talks about. People who become very spiritual but they either can't or won't take on the real world

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Zen LaCroix said:

This is actually what Owen Cook talks about. People who become very spiritual but they either can't or won't take on the real world

Owen is lost in a delusion. 

He doesn't know what the world is.

Chasing sex like a narcissistic dog.

I've taken on the real world and found it fool's gold, as has every other intelligent mind.

Edited yesterday at 10:30 AM by Leo Gura

[AION]

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Owen is lost in a delusion. 

He doesn't know what the world is.

Chasing sex like a narcissistic dog.

I've taken on the real world and found it fool's gold, as has every other intelligent mind.

All roads lead to Rome man. I don’t think an introvert life is superior to an extrovert life per se. 

Edited yesterday at 10:46 AM by AION

[r0ckyreed]

23 minutes ago, AION said:

All roads lead to Rome man.

What a delusional cliche. It’s the same as saying All Roads Lead To Nirvana. But clearly following a MAGA cult will not lead you to Nirvana nor Rome. Introverted life is far superior due to less BS and less distraction. Extroverts depend on a level of falsehood (socialization) to function. But of course, if one is too introverted for the wrong reasons, that is a trap.

[Leo Gura]

27 minutes ago, AION said:

All roads lead to Rome man.

No. 99% of roads lead to self-deception.

[AION]

5 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

What a delusional cliche. It’s the same as saying All Roads Lead To Nirvana. But clearly following a MAGA cult will not lead you to Nirvana nor Rome. Introverted life is far superior due to less BS and less distraction. Extroverts depend on a level of falsehood (socialization) to function. But of course, if one is too introverted for the wrong reasons, that is a trap.

Nah. When you are dead. You are going to the same place Owen Cook is going to. No special place for your crusty ass. 
 

 

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No. 99% of roads lead to self-deception.

The final curtain is the same for everybody 

[something_else]

32 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

What a delusional cliche. It’s the same as saying All Roads Lead To Nirvana. But clearly following a MAGA cult will not lead you to Nirvana nor Rome. Introverted life is far superior due to less BS and less distraction. Extroverts depend on a level of falsehood (socialization) to function. But of course, if one is too introverted for the wrong reasons, that is a trap.

The overly introverted life can be truly miserable, often filled with regret and quiet desperation.

Yes, extroversion and socialisation is often full of BS, but it can also open you up to some of the most rewarding and enjoyable experiences you can have as a human. Maybe they won't bring you lasting happiness, but in many cases you will regret not having those experiences when you get older.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, r0ckyreed said:

Introverted life is far superior due to less BS and less distraction. Extroverts depend on a level of falsehood (socialization) to function. But of course, if one is too introverted for the wrong reasons, that is a trap.

......and Ambivert...what about them. Probably didn't know there were other 'verts'. Omnivert to name another.

Edited yesterday at 12:34 PM by Princess Arabia

[Kid A]

2 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

Introverted life is far superior due to less BS and less distraction.

Extroverts are generally happier than introverts, and guys who live extremely introverted lifestyles don’t exactly strike me as particularly full of truth. They’re often the worst kind of bullshitters you find on Reddit or other comment sections.

[Something Funny]

2 hours ago, AION said:

The final curtain is the same for everybody 

And you know that how?

[r0ckyreed]

2 hours ago, AION said:

Nah. When you are dead. You are going to the same place Owen Cook is going to. No special place for your crusty ass. 

Death is not the same thing as Insight, Nirvana, Awakening. If you go down Owen and Trump’s road, you will die never experiencing you are God in the human form. Everybody dies but not everybody lives. There is no Rome nor Nirvana in death.

Edited yesterday at 01:51 PM by r0ckyreed

[AION]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

The overly introverted life can be truly miserable, often filled with regret and quiet desperation.

Yes, extroversion and socialisation is often full of BS, but it can also open you up to some of the most rewarding and enjoyable experiences you can have as a human. Maybe they won't bring you lasting happiness, but in many cases you will regret not having those experiences when you get older.

A lot of people are so delusional on this forum. Humans need social interaction to individuate and become their own person. That is just how people are build. Perhaps in old age, solitude is possible but if you aren’t old, it is not wise. People should stop following Leo blindly and read basic psychology or risk fucking themselves up totally. Society is like a womb that grows a person in the same way you grew as a baby in a real womb. The purpose is to get out of the womb but to get out you first need to fully and successfully embrace the experience. 

Edited yesterday at 03:13 PM by AION