The Purpose Of A Girlfriend Is To Dream Deeper Into The Matrix

[r0ckyreed]

I’ve been thinking about the purpose of relationships and the insight hit me and it seems so obvious now. The purpose of romance and relationships is to entrench you deeper into the illusion. 

I’ve been contemplating why it is hard for me to build friendships and romantic relationships with others. I figured out that most people do not want to talk about deep things such as philosophy, politics, and spirituality. They just want to dive deeper into their illusions and not question reality. 

I hardly ever meet friends or let alone romantic interests that actually care about truth. Caring about truth is so rare. I’m starting to realize that the purpose of a relationship is not about truth. It’s about enhancing the dream/illusion.

All this pickup, attracting women, and getting horny is a complete waste of time. But hey, do you. If you don’t care about truth, then relationships and sex are for you. But if you are someone like me who can’t stop contemplating reality, then consider that relationships are part of the matrix. There’s no issue with enjoying the matrix. You can’t escape the matrix, but the pursuit itself of sex/relationships will not bring you an understanding of reality. Relationships are about survival, not truth. 

I’m not saying don’t have fun, to not pursue relationships. I’m just stating that you’re fooling yourself if you make that your sole pursuit in life. If you do those things, just realize that you’re not prioritizing truth at that moment. You’re distracting yourself with human desires. Nothing wrong with that. Just be honest with yourself. I have deconstructed the fantasy of a hot witch truth-seeking girlfriend. 

[eliasvelez]

For me, it is the contrary. With the right people I had in dates and in friendships and contexts like specifivc meditative authetnic relating practises experiences of truth and deep connection, even some slightly higher states of consciousness. For example, in the last date I had, I was committed to truth and being me, real, naked. It was so intimate and honest that after 3 hours in the end, the girl said it felt like a speed run of a whole relationship. Or I had en experience with someone where where I dug deeper and deeper in my fears where I had the revelation that I have an excistencial guilt of being born into existence, that was for both of us a very psychedelic experience because it was so honest and raw. I think relationships and experience of connections can be a support for a deeper integration of truth in life and also a support, if done very consciously. But of course, there are probably limits at some point where if you want to go deeper it is not supporting anymore but there is a lot of potential. 

Edited Monday at 04:58 AM by eliasvelez

[Puer Aeternus]

Ehhhhh. I mean I've thought a lot about this too. Much of the time adding on more responsibilities will pull you deeper into survival in the material world. Not even just having a girlfriend, but also like a dog, a child something like that as well.

But don't believe in a definitive answer like yes getting a girlfriend will always send me deeper into the social matrix. Can certainly find a situation like @eliasvelez  talks about- where you find a person like that.. who knows, but I'm sure it's possible! 

If one really wants a girlfriend or to have sex, I could see not pursuing that to potentially be less spiritual. Because maybe the timing is off, maybe someone's watched some Actualized videos and gotten the idea to pursue truth at the expense of everything else. But it's not really what they want in the present and they plateu stuck in inner conflict.

Doesn't sound like the case for you @r0ckyreed , this seems like an insight you've found pretty organically. But reality is non-linear and full of surprises- All the things I listed inversely could become key ingredient experiences for further traveling a spiritual path.

Edited Sunday at 09:07 PM by Puer Aeternus

[Hojo]

Its not a waste of time its a tool you can use to see parts of reality. A man will give his entire being to a woman and she will take it and leave. A woman will never give her entire being to a man. A man can fully empty his cup via a woman. Its better than philosophy its natures way to awaken to no one.

When you give yourself to a woman you have nothing left when she is gone and must face the void within you or kill yourself. You wont be able to think yourself out of it or stop doing it like philosophy or contemplation. There is no break its total destruction of the self via love for a woman.

Complete obsession with something its a mind tool to break you and see you are no one.

When my gf left me my body  was feeling like it was dying and I was having a panic attacks from which I thought were no reason. Now that I have understanding of identity I can see what was happening. I was literally dying metaphysically when she left me. My identity was being destroyed.

Philosophy is good but I think it should be saved for after experience you come her to experience not think. You have forever to think.

Edited Monday at 03:19 AM by Hojo

[r0ckyreed]

To even have a relationship already implies you jumping through hoops and playing games. 

[RendHeaven]

Yes, but if your dick wants pussy, then that's actually what's TRUE in that moment, and you're obligated to at the very least acknowledge that desire insofar as you recognize that what exists is what's true, and since your desire exists, that means that your desire existing is true.

Once you've acknowledged it's existence, you have the option to pursue your desire or to avoid pursuit of desire. The former is usually more authentic, and the latter tends to be dishonest. The only way the latter is salvageable is if there is a conflicting desire of greater value which take precedence.

For example, maybe she's really hot and I want to fuck her, but she's my best friend's wife and I value my friendship with him more (as well as my self image of being a "moral person"). In which case, I authentically do not pursue her.

But if she's really hot and single and I avoid approaching her because "I'm on monk mode; I'm a truth seeker" but my dick is screaming at me like "WHAT THE FUCK??" and then I go home and jerk off to porn while telling myself that I'm virtuous for being "above the fray" of human relationships - then I clearly have an authenticity issue and I'm not as truthful to myself as I'd like to think I am.

Overall I agree with the title of this thread, but with the caveat that if you actually want a girlfriend, you should just go get a girlfriend.

What you want deep down gets the final say. The problem is, most of us are conflicted and confused about what we even want. We tend to avoid what we actually want the most (because it's gatekept behind fear), while surrounding ourselves with all the things we don't want (because it's easier).

If truthseeking is easier for you than getting a girlfriend, then chances are deep down you want a girlfriend.

[Eskilon]

47 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

Yes, but if your dick wants pussy, then that's actually what's TRUE in that moment, and you're obligated to at the very least acknowledge that desire insofar as you recognize that what exists is what's true, and since your desire exists, that means that your desire existing is true.

Once you've acknowledged it's existence, you have the option to pursue your desire or to avoid pursuit of desire. The former is usually more authentic, and the latter tends to be dishonest. The only way the latter is salvageable is if there is a conflicting desire of greater value which take precedence.

For example, maybe she's really hot and I want to fuck her, but she's my best friend's wife and I value my friendship with him more (as well as my self image of being a "moral person"). In which case, I authentically do not pursue her.

But if she's really hot and single and I avoid approaching her because "I'm on monk mode; I'm a truth seeker" but my dick is screaming at me like "WHAT THE FUCK??" and then I go home and jerk off to porn while telling myself that I'm virtuous for being "above the fray" of human relationships - then I clearly have an authenticity issue and I'm not as truthful to myself as I'd like to think I am.

Overall I agree with the title of this thread, but with the caveat that if you actually want a girlfriend, you should just go get a girlfriend.

What you want deep down gets the final say. The problem is, most of us are conflicted and confused about what we even want. We tend to avoid what we actually want the most (because it's gatekept behind fear), while surrounding ourselves with all the things we don't want (because it's easier).

If truthseeking is easier for you than getting a girlfriend, then chances are deep down you want a girlfriend.

You will want a girlfriend badly, until you start experiencing god daily and the inner pleasure starts increasing. Then a girlfriend seems like a childish thing. Then only question is, when will that moment hit the individual? 1 year from now？10 years? 10 lives from now？It`s just a matter of time.

[LordFall]

Sounds to me like you’re spiritually bypassing and coping with not being able to find high quality partners to be able to build a conscious relationship on your terms. 

If you wanna go full Ekhart Tolle and bliss out on a park bench for years then more power to you but the whole point of reality is to experience duality otherwise you’d just be a floating mind thinking up random images that’s basically what the godhead is. 

Base humanity and the social matrix is truth just an evolving one. 

[r0ckyreed]

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

Sounds to me like you’re spiritually bypassing and coping with not being able to find high quality partners to be able to build a conscious relationship on your terms.

I would love to have a girlfriend who is highly philosophical and cares deeply about truth for its own sake. But that seems like me striking gold in a porta-potty. Maybe I’m in the wrong environment. I would love a relationship like that. But I am also trying to be realistic too. The rub is that when you enter a relationship, it no longer becomes about truth for its own sake anymore.

[Sugarcoat]

It’s because it’s hard finding the right girl. So this will be the case for most girls. Or humans in general. It’s very rare but I believe it’s possible to find a woman who also seeks “truth” similarly to you who you’d resonate with
 

You can also think about how you prioritize in your life. As long as you have an ego your interactions with others will be on the ego/dream level. This you have to be honest with yourself about. So most of the time you’re living in the dream like everybody else. But you prioritize truth, and maybe that’s your highest priority, but you could also if you find it important, to make space for egoic desires. Like sex and relationships. And allow those to be on dream level so you don’t expect your partner to align with your truth seeking. It’s a matter of how you prioritize it in your life, a relationship won’t give you permanent bliss, nothing on the worldly level will, but you can still value the short term and more long term (yet still not permanent) happiness it can give. And since it’s on the dream level for you , you accept that your partner is operating on dream level.

Then if you one day find the truth and things like relationships are no longer on dream level for you, that is something that has to happen within you, and once it happens nobody outside yourself can pull you back into the dream, so maybe it won’t matter if partner is in the dream because it won’t affect you

Edited Monday at 02:36 PM by Sugarcoat

[Basman]

Mating is monkey business. Give to god what is god's and to Ceasar what is Ceasar's. 

But a relationship can teach you compromise, communication and confront you with all your human insecurities and emotional blockades. There's value and necessity in living out the dream to a certain extent.

[meta_male]

@r0ckyreed Your mind is sneaky. If all your relationships feel shallow maybe you're not meeting people where they are. You can't deconstruct the matrix before you've succesfully built deep intimacy.

Edited Monday at 06:11 PM by meta_male

[Lyubov]

Dude go out more and work on your life then rethink what you wrote here. If you don’t have a thriving business / LP, a hot girlfriend and cool shit going on in your life you don’t have room to talk about this stuff. Make shit happen and do it the best then you will understand why it exists.

[Eskilon]

26 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

Dude go out more and work on your life then rethink what you wrote here. If you don’t have a thriving business / LP, a hot girlfriend and cool shit going on in your life you don’t have room to talk about this stuff. Make shit happen and do it the best then you will understand why it exists.

This is BS. If one is genuinely a spiritual person, why should he play the monkey games of survival? If he wants truth that badly playing survival with this much engagement is detrimental.

Edited Monday at 07:02 PM by Eskilon

[r0ckyreed]

2 hours ago, meta_male said:

@r0ckyreed Your mind is sneaky. If all your relationships feel shallow maybe you're not meeting people where they are. You can't deconstruct the matrix before you've succesfully built deep intimacy.

Thats not it. I have felt fulfilled. But I also realize that it wasn’t about truth. Never met a single woman who has a passion for breaking the matrix. All that I have met want to go deeper into the dream, to get married, to have kids, start a family. None I have met are interested in deeply deconstructing reality. That woman is rare. But again, why do I want a relationship? Because part of my consciousness is hardwired to go deeper into the illusion. Relationships are attachments. Anything you attach yourself to is inherently untrue if you really think about it. I’m not commenting about my relationships. I’m commenting about the structure of relationships being designed to deepen you into the matrix. Relationships are a self-deception. But yet, we need them to survive.

[r0ckyreed]

2 hours ago, Lyubov said:

Dude go out more and work on your life then rethink what you wrote here. If you don’t have a thriving business / LP, a hot girlfriend and cool shit going on in your life you don’t have room to talk about this stuff. Make shit happen and do it the best then you will understand why it exists.

I already got an LP and good stuff going for me. I understand why relationships exist. The purpose of relationships is to deepen my dream, not to awaken. Relationships are corrupted by the human survival agenda. The whole concept of courting and dating is already full of corruptions and self-deceptions. Dating isn’t about truth. It’s about what makes you feel good.

LP is also part of the matrix as well. I’m not saying the matrix is bad. We need to have money to have food to be able to survive for us to be able to contemplate and awaken. But don’t mistake that money and food are figments of the dream. I believe it’s possible to have a conscious relationship and awaken. But just realize that most of everything in life is designed to keep you asleep (ex: money, work, relationships, sex, religion, politics, etc.), aside from psychedelics. Hell, I’m even contradicting myself right now by making this post. The majority of the posts I make is a self-deception, another matrix that I use to remind myself of the matrix I am in.

Edited Monday at 08:53 PM by r0ckyreed

[Leo Gura]

On 6/15/2025 at 0:41 PM, r0ckyreed said:

but the pursuit itself of sex/relationships will not bring you an understanding of reality.

It won't lead to Awakening. But relationship does yield many profound insights about people, relationships, communication, sex, feminine, masculine, emotional mastery, and yourself and your values.

Dating and relationship pushes you to grow and learn more than you would otherwise. You discover aspects of yourself which you wouldn't have alone. Is it a huge distraction from pure truth-seeking and Awakening? Absolutely. But Awakening and pure truth-seeking is not the only game in town. You still gotta live.

Edited Monday at 09:45 PM by Leo Gura

[Alexop]

You can distract yourself from awakening, no matter if you have a GF or not. Cut this "I pursue enlightenment" shit and fulfill your needs. If you don't want to be a creepy horny old man or a newage hippie idiot. 

There is no way around fulfilling your deepest needs. If relationships wouldn't bother you then you wouldn't have written this post, and you wouldn't even care about the relationships threads

The most creepy people I know are very spiritual. They can be disgusting. Half assing spirituality can make you even more disfuctional.

I totally get you, I also want to go insane when I see how many idiots I can meet in one day, but I have to admit that my deepest need right now is to find a mature woman. No amount of meditation shit will solve that.

Edited Monday at 10:26 PM by Alexop

[r0ckyreed]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

It won't lead to Awakening. But relationship does yield many profound insights about people, relationships, communication, sex, feminine, masculine, emotional mastery, and yourself and your values.

Dating and relationship pushes you to grow and learn more than you would otherwise. You discover aspects of yourself which you wouldn't have alone. Is it a huge distraction from pure truth-seeking and Awakening? Absolutely. But Awakening and pure truth-seeking is not the only game in town. You still gotta live.

Thanks. There’s still value. But going forward, I’m not gonna expect women to care about philosophy and awakening like I used to. The reason why I have difficulty with relationships is because I love talking about philosophy, politics, and other controversial topics. And I know the majority of people don’t wanna have those discussions. I don’t want to lower my thinking to low conscious stuff like sports, gossip, sex, etc. Right now, relationships seem like a waste of time to me. It requires so much work to maintain them with no guarantee that it will work. I don’t want kids and most women do. I don’t think women can handle me existentially. I’m trying to get out of my hometown by age 30.

How do you do it Leo? How do you stay motivated despite the annoying games of attraction and breakups? Why pursue a woman if you can pursue God? A woman’s love is conditional. @Leo Gura

Edited Monday at 11:16 PM by r0ckyreed

[Leo Gura]

20 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

How do you do it Leo?

I don't.

I don't pursue women much.

Finding a woman who is actually worth dating is extremely hard for me. So much so that I barely think about it.

Edited Monday at 10:34 PM by Leo Gura