Bad habits are really tough to break.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

Hi everyone! So recently I downloaded this app on my iPhone called ‘Clear Space: Reduce Screen Time’. The reason why is that ever since high school, I’ve always had an issue with compulsively using my iPhone in bed, watching videos when I know I have to wake up early.

Almost every day in High School, I would wake up super groggy and tired, because I had spent the prior night watching YouTube on my phone late into the night. I would each day tell myself “never again”, and “no more”. Only to repeat the action the following night. 

During High School, I was also behind on my assignments and doing everything last minute. That was because when I would get home, I would feel this compulsive urge to either play computer games or watch YouTube. I might begin working, but the urge would overwhelm me, and I would give in. Then, I would not begin working on my assignments until late until the evening,  late into the night. Waking up tired and groggy almost every day also meant I was frequently late to school, often skipping breakfast.

Just a week ago, I was up on my phone at 2:00am watching YouTube shorts, and that’s when I’ve realized: enough .

I blocked out YouTube with the clear space app, and I blocked out distracting websites on my Computer with a downloadable program called ‘Cold Turkey’. The results are good, as this is the first week of my life since Middle School I have not watched a single YouTube video. 

But the cravings and compulsive urges are definitely there. I have opened the YouTube app on my phone, and tried to open it on my computer, numerous times this day alone, only to be told by my blocking apps that I blocked these websites. 
 

It’s not just YouTube. I’m also feeling a compulsive and strong urge to consume sugar. I’m trying to cancel sugar, but the cravings are really strong.

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Yeah, YT is addictive.

[The Renaissance Man]

@Husseinisdoingfine I suggest an alternative for the short-term. In the long-term understanding will be required to transcend those cravings. But back to the alternative, I believed I was addicted to youtube. I watched it 4 hours a day, after lunch, before sleep, during breaks.

Youtube was my last remaining distraction. I had removed successfully Instagram and video games. And it was easy, as long as there was an alternative. When I took away YouTube, I burned out in a week!

So the fight kept going for months. I couldn't understand. Am I addicted? I think we tend to call everything an addiction, when many times the root problem is different.

Well, 3 months ago I decided I would start reading novels, and replace youtube with that. Would you believe that after 10 years, watching youtube 4+ hours a day, unable to quit, I was able to quit it entirely in two weeks? Was it an addiction then, or are we demonizing normal brain needs? Maybe over time I'll be able to transcend novels and meditate all day. Whatever. At least compared to youtube novels don't have endless scrolling. They're less stimulating.

Healthy alternative!!

Be smart about it, think outside the box. The self-improvement world is full of this bullshit advice of habits and discipline. How many times do you need to see it doesn't work? Only being conscious of the situation will make you transcend the craving. But that's not something you do on command. So as you work on it, find smart alternatives. Marginal gains, that are a bit better.

I went from playing video games, being on Instagram and tiktok and then also youtube. Then I removed games. 6 months later social media. 1 year later youtube, and since it was the last thing remaining, I had to replace it with something: novels. Much healthier and less addictive.

I went from eating junk food and being ignorant about nutrition. I then learned about it and started being obsessive and weighing everything. Then I understood that the real way to make healthy nutrition sustainable was to find a healthy alternative to the junk food. So I found my combination of healthy, regular meals, and completely removed any junk food. Pasta became whole-grain pasta. Chocolate became only dark chocolate. Cookies became nuts. Pizza, sushi, and that stuff is only allowed outside my house. If I go out once a month, I don't care.

See? TRY. I was in your shoes, it's the whole paradigm of approaching those """""addictions""""" that's toxic.

[SeaMonster]

It's impossible to simply cut out bad habits without adopting good habits.

All you're going to do is pick up other bad habits in their place since they are typically there as a stress response.

You need to conceive of what a healthy lifestyle/routine looks like, in a holistic sense.  In other words, what good habits do you need to minimize stress and maximize well-being?  

That's what "radical wholeness"  looks like.

[Davino]

@Husseinisdoingfine Just don't watch youtube for today, only for today. Can you make it?

Nice, sure you can!

Repeat, this mental process everyday. Just for today I won't do this and I will do that instead each time I crave for it. When I want to open youtube, I'll instead read a book or take some deep breaths.

SO with these 2 tips it will be asier. 

1. Just for Today
2. Pre-Decision: If I want X, I'll immediately do Y before I can even think it twice

[Husseinisdoingfine]

In my personal no-YouTube rule. I actually do make an exception for Actualized.org. But the rule is that I can only watch it through the main website, or by listening to the podcasts. Because the episodes are so long, I don’t have an issue with compulsively watching it for short term and quick pleasure.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

All you're going to do is pick up other bad habits in their place since they are typically there as a stress response.

So if one has a habit of picking one's nose, that's a stress response? If one has a habit of hanging up on people because of whatever reason, is that a stress response. If one has a habit of waking up and first thing they do is grab a lollipop, is that a stress response, if one has a habit of driving a certain way, is that a stress response? Why do we feel that bad habits, (and I say bad because we label them that way), is a result of a stress response. It's not, it's just a response. 

Edited April 15, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[Delusion Slayer]

I'm with you there my friend. I delete Instagram whenever I'm not posting (my LP involves creating video). I'm actually currently doing a music fast for 2 weeks because of how addicted I've gotten to daydreaming while listening to music itself.

One promising thing about sugar I'll share is that, after doing a 50 day fast from all added sugar, my identity made a significant shift, and I have purchased little to no food with added sugar at all. I will still have something here and there that technically will have it, but I have cut out lots of processed garbage because of the fast.

With my mind personally, I am finding what works for me the most is hard-nosed fasts with clear start and end dates.

EDIT: For YouTube, I installed a safari plugin on both my iPhone and Macbook that blocks out all home page videos and recommendations. I'm very much looking forward to this for Instagram Reels haha

Edited April 15, 2024 by Delusion Slayer

[thenondualtankie]

That's a great plugin. Everyone should have it. It's an extension called Unhook for people that don't know.

[SeaMonster]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

So if one has a habit of picking one's nose, that's a stress response? If one has a habit of hanging up on people because of whatever reason, is that a stress response. If one has a habit of waking up and first thing they do is grab a lollipop, is that a stress response, if one has a habit of driving a certain way, is that a stress response? Why do we feel that bad habits, (and I say bad because we label them that way), is a result of a stress response. It's not, it's just a response. 

The test is simple.

Self-awareness and harm.

Is one aware that one is doing it, and is the habit harmful?

If I'm doing something I know is harmful in some way (directly or indirectly), and I can't stop myself, then why am I doing it? Why can't I stop?

I see a lot of "just because" answers on the forum.

Please. People don't just harm themselves for no reason.  There's a pay-off.  People aren't entirely irrational.

Edited April 16, 2024 by SeaMonster

[EdgeGod900]

After realizing myself and Leo's addiction to the Internet. Doesn't matter how spiritually developed you are, you are still cosplaying as a human at the end of the day. Cancel your home internet and make yourself physically move to the library or school to access the internet(Still use your computer however). (btw I'm literally writing this at a place that provides free internet).

DON'T GET TOO COCKY AND THINK THAT YOU CAN ONLY USE YOUR AWARENESS TO COMBAT THIS ISSUE. USE THE LOW-LEVEL FUNDAMENTALS -- REMOVE THE INTERNET FROM YOUR VICINITY.

Cal Newport said something about how the distracting nature of the internet is a losing battle, since these tech companies are literally spending Millions of dollars to find a way to further control our lizard brain.

 

Also don't forget to get a vpn.

 

PS: This will be my last post in this forum, since some of yall didn't find the previous video that I posted funny.

Edited April 16, 2024 by EdgeGod900

[RawJudah]

What works for me is simply leaving my phone in my car after work. Not even having my phone in the house. During the day I use it, but when I get home I’m done. You’ll have a few hours to do other things and you won’t get distracted. When I look at my phone the next morning there’s usually not much I’ve missed. 

[Leo Gura]

Not using the internet isn't a serious option. Like not having a phone is also not a serious option unless you are living alone in the woods.

You just have to learn to moderate these things.

Edited April 16, 2024 by Leo Gura

[Space]

@Husseinisdoingfine I found the 'Undistracted' chrome extension to be surprisingly effective.

I had a Twitter addiction and it stopped almost instantly.

There's something about making it just slightly more difficult to get access to the website/software etc, that makes you *alot* less likely to use it.

[Ajay0]

An acronym I found useful in creating a reference framework for breaking bad habits is M3 or MMM.

It expands to ...

Make a commitment.

Modify your environment.

Monitor your performance.

 

 I would say a high state of consciousness, mental strength as well as enthusiasm, as well as acting out the ideal habits for a duration of a month at least  is necessary to get rid of old habits and develop the new ones.

 

[The Renaissance Man]

@Husseinisdoingfine Please don't overlook what I wrote above. I was able to actually solve this situation in my own life. I'm not giving advice because I heard it from Huberman, Peterson, or whoever.

Don't trust me on my words, but if you haven't tried seriously, consider trying this different route.

It's true that consciousness over time will make you transcend those cravings, but you can't ignore the "over time" part. And my solution for that is in my first message.

[Davino]

11 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

In my personal no-YouTube rule. I actually do make an exception for Actualized.org. But the rule is that I can only watch it through the main website, or by listening to the podcasts. Because the episodes are so long, I don’t have an issue with compulsively watching it for short term and quick pleasure.

t's not YouTube itself that you want to get rid of, but rather the toxic relationship you have with it—the constant search for dopamine hits. As you cannot manage yourself, nor can I sometimes with YT shorts in my phone, we have to take more radical decisions as the ones you are are taking now

[Schizophonia]

It's okay, you're not addicted to heroin yet, just youtube...

[LSD-Rumi]

15 hours ago, Delusion Slayer said:

I installed a safari plugin on both my iPhone and Macbook that blocks out all home page videos and recommendations

Why would you  that? The gold is in these videos if you are watching good content.

[LSD-Rumi]

4 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

It's okay, you're not addicted to heroin yet, just youtube...

standards?