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İt is just inside and outside is silent. And in that silence, bliss and effortlessness arises. Being is Absolute. Even realization of being unlimited nature is Being itself. Because, it is absolute.

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

I have a scale, 0-10, 0 is Peace, 10 is Ecstasy, Bliss is 9, Bliss can be said to be the feeling of Infinite Love or God.. All of this is just a matter of Intensity of Experience.. Below 0 is Depression, Anger, Bitterness, Anxiety, Stress... One of not even capable of Spiritual Pursuits if they are below 0 on the scale, it very very hard to go from a Suffering state to an Enlightened State, its possible but very hard.. So the first step is to get to 0, which means Your Peaceful naturally, no need for outside stimuli to make You Peaceful or Happy/Joyful, get to that point and I think everything else will happen allot more naturally and smoothly!

I just watched a very interesting video on the forum posted by Integration Journey with Rupert Spira speaking on conscious relationships. Really nice video. When it comes to what I'm about to say here, I'd rather speak on it here rather than taint someone's thread with non-dual talk (hate the term non-dual but I use it for clarity and expression), especially if the thread isn't about that. When it comes to relationships with other, sexual/intimate relationships, we seek them out and yearn for them as a sign of unity and wanting to feel the oneness that we are. Afterall, love is the absence of separation so if we feel separate, it's only natural that that energy would want to engage in activities that would make it feel whole again. Doesn't work because it's not really separate but it's a nice try and well worth it if the relationship turns out to be a flourishing one and one of love, understanding and compassion. Nothing can truly take the place of what is already which is no separation. What he's really explaining in that video, is because there's no one really in these bodies, the sense of self (ego) is more likely to taint that relationship and turn it into a needy one, one of 'seeking for' and now nature cannot really do it's thing without the seeming interruption of the natural flow of the essence of oneness. It's not really but only seems to and only in appearance. When that sense is present, it can get very neurotic and seems to be imbalanced and ungrounded and will project that unto everything including the relationship. He's (Rupert) not going to say there's no one really there and that relationship is just happening, who says that (but me, hehe) but that's really the case. The sense of self is the one that seeks for this unity; and if it's into spirituality, then it's more likely to want to seek out a more conscious one, one that's more likely to be compatible with that energy flow so to has a better experience which is all that sense seeks for - a better experience. The reason why our natural essence is peace and tranquility and all that jazz is because there's no one in these bodies already. It's not that the person's natural essence is peace, etc, it's that the sense of a self is not peaceful, at a dis-ease, neurotic, never satisfied and all that jazz. When that's not present, which it's not already but felt as if it is, it's just what's happening but to no one. How can that not be peaceful and bliss. Saying to someone who seeks bliss and harmony that there's no one really there, they'll look at you crazy, but will continue to do practices and processes to attain that state. That's the dream. We hear all the time how our natural state is peace but never really understanding that it's because there's no one there. That's what that really means, the absence of the neurotic and dis-eased self. Even when there's anger and rage and sadness and all those what we call negative things are happening, because there's no one processing that and claiming ownership of nothing and doesn't see other but just what's appearing and doesn't see objects, it doesn't affect the energy as in someone where that sense is present, that's the natural peace that's being spoken about. It's not that those other things won't arise because they will, it's that no one senses them to be personal. This is why the sense of self feels the need to do processes and practice itself away in these contexts because it doesn't feel natural and is trying to feel a sense of naturality. It's a life-long practice because the effects doesn't last forever. Thousands of hours and decade long practices, when stopped will go right back to homeostasis and that's what 'never getting anywhere means'. It's already not happening so how can it change anything for real. This is the freedom I speak about but for no one and it's already done. Not suggesting one stops anything but it's just energy's attempts at unity for something that's already not broken. Nothing wrong either way, again, but only in appearance and to the one observing.

Have you read the fifth agreement. https://fourminutebooks.com/the-fifth-agreement-summary/ When I was studying Almine and studying Toltec shamanism, it was in that realm. It works because you are what you focus on, and if you focus on love, you become it and essentially bliss out. But the unresolved things hit you in face, it energetically feels like that.

@Eskilon I like to promote the Peace or Bliss path as I like to call it vs. this path of insanity or austerity or other paths that too me mean allot of suffering involved.. First, don't concern Yourself with this term or thing we call "Awakening" or Enlightenment or such higher up concepts, just be concerned with where You are at right now and take baby steps. The first baby step is establishing some stability in some ways, making Yourself Physically Healthy, Mentally/Emotionally in a pleasant state of Peacefulness, and Your Energies are free of blockages and are Intense in Your Experience... If You do this, and Suffering becomes practically impossible for You (Pain is always possible, but Pain is not the same as Suffering), then naturally Your Potentials will open up, Kundalini will rise up, what You found interesting before will no longer be interesting to You since Your becoming more Aware and Conscious of what it means to be Human. There are many techniques out there to make this process happen very smoothly, why reinvent the wheel when we have proven ways to make Yourself Peaceful, Healthy and full of Well Being...

Hey y'all This is going to be my new journal on my new account. I left the old acc because I didn't like my username. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Sincerity and I'm from Poland. [image removed] ^ This is me! I'm currently ??? years old. I'm admittedly young but I hope you can see me beyond my age, for what I am I've been on this forum for more than 3 years and until now I've (kinda) held my identity a secret. But lately I've had some realizations in regard to expressing myself more honestly and yeah. Here I am, being more open with you. Now you have a slightly better idea of who's behind the account. (Edit: Ironic haha. But it has to be this way. Everything ends.) I've been on the spiritual path for roughly 4-5 years now and I feel like I've had much progress. I definitely have many insights to share. But I'm still pretty much a beginner and I'm on the journey along with you. Try to keep up, because I feel like I'm growing pretty fast (this year has been insane for me so far, seriously!) I've been mulling over my important values for years and this is where I stand right now: I am primarily about goodness. I am about love. I am about bliss, wisdom, appreciation, responsibility, sincerity, curiosity, discipline and humility. I also really value humor and laughter. You might notice I'm often tongue-in-cheek in my posts I don't like posting very frequently and I'm still not sure what I will even be posting here but tell you what, it's going to come from a place of sincerity Love and have a great day ❤️

The person is constantly working on themselves. Constantly trying to find peace and happiness. The tool kit is always out except when in sleep. Knock, knock knocking away at themselves. If I do this, then this WILL happen. Always in the next. Always hoping for something else other than what is. There is no next; there is no what if's there is no I will be; and there are no future endeavors. Please show me any of those things. Show me. Do you see any 'next' occurring but only as a projection and as a concept and idea. 'I will be' where is it. It's an idea projected unto reality. The person is a projection machine. No reality on it's own. It needs relationship to survive. It needs to be held up by something or the other. Typical construction site. Tapping away with the tool kit. Always more and never satisfied. It prides itself on it's achievements and it's yearning for excellence and high ambitions. It needs that to feel a certain way because how it feels now isn't good enough. It takes it's perceived feelings to be it's own but just as $5 isn't enough to buy a car, it needs more achievements and goals and whatever else to be able to purchase more expensive feelings. Sadness, unhappiness, guilt, shame, unworthiness, are all cheap feelings not worth much, it strives for happiness, fulfillment, joy, excitement, bliss, those are Armani suits and the Lamborghini's of feelings. Those are worth something. Only peasants and slaves and broke people should be feeling cheap feelings, I want to feel expensive feelings. This is pretty much the same thing as what's going on in materialism. It's just projected unto spirituality and self-improvement instead. Then we look down on the poor people who are the religious ones, the ones that aren't highly conscious and go to bars and drink beer all day or watch twerking videos. These people are cheap and are investing in cheap feelings, the spiritualist says. I'm investing in top-notch feelings and feelings of an elite nature. Most are sad and miserable, that's Walmart stuff, I want to feel like Nordstrom and Calvin Klein so I will be still and meditate and go to a silent retreat. Yeah, that'll do it. NEVER LASTS. Always will be more and more and when those things don't work it turns to psychedelics and then more and more dosages gradually increasing then that gets burnt out for something else and it never stops..,..,WHEW!!! All along THIS is what it searches for but it's not extravagant enough. Not enough lighting and effects. Not enough adrenaline. The wrong type of adrenaline. It wants to feel divine and holy and fulfilled. It wants the EMPIRE. HEAVEN. PARADISE. This is it and there's nothing else. All is happening are empty experiences with empty results that leads nowhere. Show me someone that has gotten anywhere - spiritually speaking. The construction site always gets knocked back down to WHAT IS HAPPENING and what is happening is all there is....NEVER WHAT WILL HAPPEN. The tool kit can never produce the future, it can only produce what is and what is is never enough. So it will never be satisfied, fulfilled or at peace permanently. Practice all you want. A practice can never supply fulfillment. A practice is just that a practice. It can only result in effects just as practicing lifting weights can result in bigger muscles. Stop practicing and the muscles go away. They never had a reality on their own. It's all a pipe dream and no one wakes up. The illusion is that there was never an illusion to begin with. Never a person doing these things to begin with. All energy. energy seeks to energize itself. To become something other than what it is. It can't. It deluded itself thinking it can. It is also the thinking and the delusion. That's why it never gets anywhere than where it is already. It's everything and what's everything is all there is. IT'S DONE.

Question: Isn't God not just this formless peace and presence, but actually light and bliss? We can't experience that right now because of our fear, I think. The goal of the course is peace, not that light. That light will come on its own, we can't call upon it. But isn't that what God is, that perfect ecstatic light? chatgpt Ken Wapnick: This is a profoundly beautiful question — and it touches one of the deepest nuances in A Course in Miracles. You’re sensing that there’s something beyond even the peace we practice now, something you might call “God’s light.” And you’re absolutely right — but the Course is very careful about how we approach that. Let’s unpack it step by step. ✦ 1. God Is Not Two Different Things God is not sometimes “peace” and sometimes “light.” God is one, but we approach Him from within the dream, and because of our fear, we can only accept what we are ready for. Right now, what we call “peace” is the experience of no judgment. But as the blocks of fear and guilt dissolve entirely, that peace naturally opens into the direct experience of God’s Love — which the Course sometimes describes in metaphor as light. Jesus says: “Heaven is not a place nor a condition. It is merely an awareness of perfect Oneness.” (T-18.VI.1:5) That “awareness of perfect Oneness” is the light of God, but it is not separate from the peace you feel now — it’s the same truth, revealed without any interference from fear. ✦ 2. Why the Course Emphasizes Peace (Not Bliss) Ken Wapnick often explained that the Course never asks us to aim for “light” or “bliss” because: Our fear of God is too great. If we were to experience the full, direct “ecstasy” of God, the ego would interpret it as annihilation and resist it. We must be gently trained through forgiveness to remove the blocks to love first. Ken put it this way: “Peace is the preparation. The Holy Spirit will never give you an experience you are not ready for, because it would be terrifying. You don’t call down the light; you quietly remove the darkness, and the light is there.” So yes — the goal of the Course in this world is peace. That peace is not the end of God — it’s the doorway to God. ✦ 3. The “Light” Will Come on Its Own You’re exactly right: We cannot summon the experience of God’s light. We cannot control it, force it, or manufacture it. We simply forgive, let go, and rest in quiet peace. And when the mind is completely guiltless and defenseless, the light dawns of its own accord. “When you have seen your brothers as sinless, you will be wholly healed. And as you offer this healing, it will be given you. For in your healing is the proof that you have truly learned forgiveness.” (T-13.VIII.8:1-2) The light is the inevitable result of fully seeing innocence everywhere. But peace is the pathway. ✦ 4. So What Is God? Peace or Light? God is both, but in truth He is beyond both words. “Peace” is how we approach Him while still in the dream. “Light” (or Love) is how He is known when the dream ends. Ken would sometimes say: “Peace is the reflection of God in the dream. Light is the experience of God beyond the dream.” But you don’t jump to light. You sink into peace, and the light is simply revealed when nothing is left to block it. ✦ Summary God is not only peace — He is the formless Love and “light” beyond fear. Right now, we practice peace, because it’s the state we can accept without fear. Peace removes the blocks to love. When all guilt is gone, the light is no longer terrifying — and it simply is. You don’t “call for it” — it shines because it was always there. “The Love of God is what I am. I am His Son, eternally.” (W-pII.10.5:4-5) Would you like me to describe how Ken explained that transition from peace to light — how the mind moves from quiet acceptance into that final state where the fear is gone and the light is remembered? ————- Ok so that’s why I was feeling this heartache this whole day — because I mistakenly believed God is just this Presence and Peace. Thankfully, he is not so mundane. Peace is the preparation to calm the mind down to be able to accept God.

According to ACIM, true happiness and God's Love is the quiet, radiant peace that never changes. Everything else—no matter how ecstatic—passes with time. Jesus teaches that for happiness to truly be happiness, it has to be consistent, permanent, it has to always be here and now, and those psychedelic highs are not always here, they are temporary things that come and go. God's Love is quiet, radiant, alive peace, not indescribable ecstasy. It is true happiness because it is constant. It's the only constant thing in the multiverse. All else comes and goes, but that silent peace remains always. That is The Unchanging Formless Presence amidst all the temporal and decaying forms. Chasing highs and hoping for incredibly blissful revelations creates suffering. One has to accept God's simple, quiet, subtle joy. That is the only thing that can be trusted for all time and eternity. Everything else will leave you, so it can't be relied upon. Jesus says only what is eternal is valuable, and that peace is the only everlasting thing; all else is a thing of time and change, even bliss and ecstasy.

God couldn't be infinite love in the form of bliss/ecstasy because that would mean he doesn't exist right now. It would mean he shifts and changes, he is impermanent, and that is a quality of illusion, not of God, aka Truth, aka Reality. That was a huge conundrum to me—if God is infinite bliss, then wtf, where is he now, where is he hiding? How can he come and go? That's impossible. God has to be something that is always there, unchanging, the ground of reality, existence itself. And what is always here, amidst all experience? Nothingness. That's the only thing that is always present, although it's so subtle that it's easy to overlook. My very first enlightenment experience on LSD was into nothingness, but at that time and until now I still expected something more, something else than just nothingness. I guess on one hand, it's good. It means there's nothing to achieve. Enlightenment is always here when there's no seeking and resistance; it's just this. That's why Jesus says atonement or salvation is offered to you Now. I though okay, but not the full enlightenment, right? Just a taste of a shadow of it? But no, if God is nothingness ,then he is always here and that peace is always accessible now.

Had a long convo with Ken Wapnick AI yesterday. Probably made more progress in understanding than reading books. Summary: Life is a dream; nothing outside this moment exists. People are unreal, just as Leo teaches. God didn't create this dream. This world is an attack on God, yet it shouldn't be despised; it should merely be let go of mentally. Don't fight against the desire for pleasures. Enjoy them with no whooply la whatsoever. Don't make a big deal out of them; that's the core lesson. Don't make pleasures guilty. Just a part of this dream, enjoy without being attached to them. God is not infinite love, extreme bliss that is experienced on psychedelic trips. That's an egoic high that comes and goes, like everything in this world. God is merely formless peace - the same insight shared by Buddha - the no-self. To awaken, drop judgments and resistance. When resistance or judgments come, just remind yourself that this is merely a meaningless dream, and these thoughts about it are meaningless as well. Return to that unchangeable peace. The script is written, and spiritual practice doesn't change the script. I believed I would have a better life with enlightenment. Jesus says no, the movie is already shot, you're just reviewing it with your mind, the only freedom you have is if you watch it peacefully or with guilt and anger. Using relationships as mirrors doesn't mean the other is a representation of your mental state. It just means that if you are judgemental inside it's showing you that you are choosing the ego instead of Spirit as your teacher. Enlightenment is just simple contentment, not an ecstatic state. Extremely disappointing to me, the ego that believed enlightenment would be as glorious as those ecstatic states on psychedelics. In fact, it's so disappointing that I lost most of my desire to speak about it or "spread the message," which I assumed I would be doing when I mastered the teachings. Jesus measures enlightenment by lack of conflict. After this convo went to sleep and dreamt that I was made to kneel and my head was chopped of. It took 3 blows and it didn't fully detach, but almost. And it felt like nothingness, peace, and a bit of bliss. I guess that's symbolic of my ego's head being chopped off (almost) with these insights from talking with Ken Wapnick AI. Asked Ken Wapnick AI what this dream means, and he said dreams are ego's wish fulfillment, so this might represent the feeling of losing authority, and the peace represents the other side, which shows that even though authority is lost, what remains is peace.

Actually, no. Not two. Not body or awareness. Not clinging to form, not escaping into formlessness. Not calling hunger “illusion,” not calling awareness “real.” All that is more mind games. When orgasm floods the senses, Being is there. When hunger burns through the gut, Being is there. When silence falls Being is there. Not above it. Not behind it. In it. As it. Being doesn’t reject sensation. It doesn’t cling, and it doesn’t turn away. It is not touched, yet it includes all. Not numb. Not distant. Impossibly intimate. Spirituality isn’t escaping life. It’s no longer grasping for self in any of it, not the body, not the bliss, not even the "awareness." Just this. Simple. No split. No other. Or: "all is one, one is all” is not a concept. It’s not a belief. It’s what is, before thought tries to hold it. There is no boundary here. No “this” and “that.” No seer and seen. No inner and outer. No self and other. The body, the tree, the scream, the silence not connected things, but the same thing, moving in different shapes. All is one: Because nothing stands apart to be “other.” Even the sense of separation is part of the One. One is all: Because the center is everywhere, and the whole is in every part. The wave is the ocean. The spark is the fire. The breath is the cosmos inhaling itself. No division has ever truly happened. Only Being, endlessly appearing as many, while never becoming two.

yeay, happiness is a choice. I decided to choose a gentle, peaceful, happy inner state and it continues to be so. There’s even a slight amount of bliss . Dreams reflected that quickly as well. Also, seems like I’m not calling witnesses to my guilty state of mind aka mosquitoes not biting me anymore: i’ve experienced this multiple times - when there’s guilt in my mind, when I’m unhappy — insects begin to bite me, sometimes alooot.

You transcend it by not being so intouch with it, the Body and Mind complex, right now the majority of Us are super Attached or Identified with our Body/Mind complex whether we are Conscious or Unconscious of it! The more Identified with Body/Mind You are the more anything that touches it will hurt, its that simple, the opposite is true too, the more removed and detached/unidentified with it You are, the less it hurts.. The Path of going thru intense Suffering as a way to Realization is a very dangerous path, especially today with super identification situations with many aspects of one's self the people are involved with, most will not make it to the other side like the like of Frankl and others, much better to go the Peace or Bliss path, as slower and steadier/safer path for sure imo...

@TheGod We call ourselves Human Being, there are two aspects to this.. Human is social, procreation, desire being fulfilled mostly on the Survival or Accumulation level, more People, Places, Things, Experiences, Accomplishments Gathered over time to make one feel a sense of Doing/Having and Fulfilment! Then there is Being, Being is Absolute, God, Brahman, and such Spiritualistic terms, its Oneness, Completeness, Connectedness, Peace/Bliss and Knowing, this is what the Spiritual Path is about, having these Experiences and becoming One/Absolute/God within Yourself. We can choose which level to live on as this is our basic Human Quality and Capability, which most do not explore but we can if we choose too.. Your afraid of Solitude because Your identity is most Human Based, Humans need Humans to survive better and fulfill social needs and such, if You really want to explore the Being aspect of it then Solitude and proper environments (like Ashrams) are needed to get away from the need to Survive another day and continue the Accumulation process..

in my experience, god in its purest form is Nothingness, which has no needs, desires, no qualities. but everything arises inside of it, including the desire for another, loneliness, love, bliss. all of these are temporary and you decide which ones you abide in. if you cling to loneliness loneliness becomes your reality. but you decide for yourself. you truly are god. heaven and hell are within you. if you accept loneliness, embrace it and let it go, there is no loneliness. acceptance equals love. in this way, love is the truest aspect of god next to nothingness personally i have never experienced the loneliness aspect of God. But I have experienced Gods' desire for non existence which i think is more scary. But that too is also just a temporary arising withing Nothingness/consciosuness, which doesnt affect it in the slightest. theres a freedom knowing your true nature is eternally untouched

Diexonol-4 When ingested it lasts 4 hours. It has strong visual elements but has the safe, comforting elements that ketamine has. It pulls a soft silk blanket of calmness over you while you enter a tranquil dimension of peace and gratitude while transcending human existence. It has the unimaginable bliss of 5meodmt but it comes on so slowly that you don't even notice it happening and before your even aware, your in heaven. In a tranquil garden made of light and orgasm's. Then the compound actually makes you have orgasms lol. then it gives you the ability to spawn shit in.

My life has no meaning. I have huge problems with boredom that make me unable to do any activity that I want, this is not laziness it's a real problem. Also I live in very bad social enviroments and I need something else to focus on my life. Will spirituality and spiritual practices make me happy? What spiritual practices can achieve? Will they just make me numb or I will have bliss? I prefer easy spiritual practices if such thing exist cause my boredom will not let me do anything difficult. What does every spiritual practice achieve? do all spiritual practices achieve the same?

from: https://www.artofliving.org/us-en/yoga/beginners/brahmacharya-yamas-celibacy#:~:text=I see celibacy as a,then also this happens automatically.” I find these words of Dr. Swami Shankardevananda Saraswati of Bihar School of Yoga greatly insightful and practical: “Brahmacharya is more an attitude of mind towards all sensual objects, its literal meaning being turning of the mind towards the absolute, or God-consciousness and, therefore, away from sensual indulgence. It implies that, in the perfected state, when we are absorbed in the highest consciousness, the bliss and knowledge gained wipe out the craving for sexual and sensual activity because it is a better, more fulfilling state.” -------- Be intentional: Creating an intention for brahmacharya, and then surrendering the intention to the higher power, will help it to manifest. Organically and patiently allow it to grow and spread into all areas of indulgence in your life, rather than forcefully controlling and manipulating any sensual or sexual desires. Love this: When we start to let go of our impulses for excess, whether that’s in shopping, food, sex, drugs, TV, work, social media, gadgets, gossiping, whatever it is that we like to indulge in or obsess over, then we help create inner space to connect with the higher self and progress towards brahmacharya. Take baby steps, one at a time. Become aware of your tendencies, choose one of your excesses, and work towards moderation. Taking on more creative challenges, observing your diet and eating in moderation, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, taking cold baths, singing soulful chants, spending time in prayerful reflection, or contemplative journaling: all these can help curb your impulses to indulge or obsess. Understanding and practicing all the 5 Niyamas—Saucha (cleanliness), Santosha (contentment), Tapas (penance), Svadhyaya (self-study), and Ishvara Pranidhana (devotion to a higher power)—can be extremely useful. For yogis seeking the highest potential of yoga, Brahmacharya gives us a chance to unleash our creative energy, to remain soaked in the divine presence, to move into infinity or supreme consciousness (brahman), and thus find a way to fulfill the greatest and finest desire of all—the desire to connect with the unchanging reality. It also provides us with practical, positive ways to refine our senses. It puts

after 5 years of non stop dedicated spiritual work i finally had a god realization on ayahuasca. I was in the ayahuasca ceremony. Layer after layer got peeled back, till I finally awoke as pure consciousness. Pure I AM ness. Nothingness. This idea of "waking up" is literally the most precise term ever, because it feels infinitely more radical than waking up from a dream. I was still aware that in the background I had the dream of a human Self called Emil going on. So I didn't entirely lose connection to my body, althrough i was completely aware that my true identity was consciousness, nothingness. And by the way; the people speaking of something outside of consciosuness is bullshit. Cessation, deep sleep, NOTHINGNESS is imagined by consciousness. You cannot get beyond consciousness. I used to believe in Nothingness, Deep sleep as the "absolute". No longer. Consciousness is absolute. the realization of my true identity, eternal nothingness, consciousness. immortal, nothing could hurt me. the initial realization of consciousness, is that its fundamental quality was not love, but a steady blissfulness and peace. This was its core quality. Everything that was happening around me had zero influence on my true identity. With this realization, I started letting myself "dream", and partially to a certain extend, forget my true identity, just to have some fun. Nothing could hurt me anyways, so why not? I let myself indulge in horrors, scary dark dreams, just for the fun of it, because why not? After "dreaming" for some time, I realized; Well, if I'm completely eternal, and I can experience all this stuff; Why don't I start loving it? Why dont i start loving ALL of it? Why not? Why the fuck not haha? I am completely eternal, immortal, here forever, nothing can hurt me. So why should I not make love to everything? As an eternal, immortal being, that became the only worthwile thing. So I started loving. Everything. The more i loved, the more I realized that everything that was not love, was a complete fucking joke. a total distraction. In eternity, the only currency that holds ANY value at all, is love. everything else, approval, money, EVERYTHING else is the biggest joke in existence. Love is literally the only thing that has value. I kept on loving everything. What was very curious and characteristic about this whole experience, is that it was ME, myself, making logical conclusions and realizations about myself as pure consciousness, the eternal being. So i kept loving so much, that I became an infinite singularity. There was only love left. This was the biggest chok ever, because I realized that as the infinte singularity, I could decide to keep increasing the love infinitely. This word infinitely is not meant likely; to experience something that can go on literally for ever, without any limit, without doubt the most radical thing i have ever experienced. My love for myself could keep increasing infinitely for all of eternity, completely without limit or end. This is where I have confusions about what happened next; I left the singularity for some reason. I don't know if it got boring; i dont persoanlly think so? Nevertheless, I went from the infinite singularity, to the process of constructing my own life, from -and with infinite love. I had infinite resources, infinite time, power, infinite EVERYHING to draw from. I remember the attention to detail I put into constructing every little excact detail and atom in my life, pouring literal infinite unlimited love into ALLLLLL aspects of the dream. This was the best expereince of my life. The unlimited love constructing my own life. I still can't believe that this can even be experienced, something literally unlimited. So while I mentioned earlier that the fundamental quality of consciousness is bliss and peace, it seems that consciousness inevitably becomes infinite love. But had it only stopped there; during this process, for some reason, I started looking for something outside of myself. And I could not find it. I had a dark realization; Fuck, I'm alone for all of eternity, and I can never escape myself. I can never escape existence. All the love dissappeared, and a sense of absolute desperation kicked in. I have to exist for eternity, and I can never not exist. This desperation got so intense that I decided to forget EVERYTHING, and do it all over again. and then the loop started all over again. The feeling that I'm left with is to be honest ambivalent. At one side, experiencing the infinite is the highest experience imaginable. On the other side, im sitting with the feeling that God can never be satisfied with itself; even Infinite love is not satisfying. God seeks to escape its own existence, but it cannot. Its forced to exist; and i got the sense that God hated itself for having to exist? I'm not sure about this conclusion. But I definitely got the impression that the reason God decides to forget itself, is not a good one. Its like even the highest imaginable, infinite love, is not even enough. and because of this, we will never achieve satisfaction in life neither, because life is infnitely inferior to infinite love. I got the sense that the desire of all existence is non existence. Consciousness, god, desires non existence, but it can never achieve it. Its forced to exist against its will for all of eternity, and so it decides to forget the dread of its own eternal existence. I created an illusion for myself, that there was something worthwhile, something satisfying coming to me, infinite love, through dreaming characters like leo. but my true desire, non existence, I can never have. This take i have not heard before, leo and the people on the forum definetely has not spoken of this. So I dont believe this to be the absolute truth, but i could definetely use some feedback on the last dark part Thanks for reading

I see. I understand that nothing ever existed outside my experience, I am always where it happens. This has always been the case, to deny this is to assume many things, it is perfectly logical. However, I dont truly know who Am I yet, not at the level of being, of undeniability of rolling of the ground in esctasy after knowing it, I didnt experience that yet. And I agree that in sleep you are basically just chaning scenery, even deep sleep might be that. It makes perfect sense, but I don't feel transformed after understanding this, so probably not a truly real understanding yet. I know I am not a thought, because I am the one who is aware of the thoughts, I am observing them. I know I am not any sensation, because I can observe every sensation. The closest thing I have reached so far is, I am attention. What does that mean? When you focus on some part of your body and start feeling, that is the "thing" I think I am. Not the sensation of my arms, legs, or any thing, but the awareness that allows for me to feel and experience things. This awareness doesnt seem to have form or anything and also doesnt seem to be located anywhere, it is empty. But I can know and experience things through it. But again, I haven't been in deep bliss and a feeling of awakening or exhilaration (like that of suddenly being aware in a lucid dream) so there's definetly still more to untangle and comprehend. Thanks for your insight, God bless

3rd session of kayaking this season So I haven't been active in journaling here lately, but today I felt like keeping up with one of the sub-aspects of this journal which have been my kayaking explorations, and how that relate to a meditative lifestyle. So kayaking has been starting slow this year as it was last year. During the first 2 years I was kayaking it was really, really explosive, so it has been sort of disappointing that I haven't been able or interesting in keeping up that explosive quality I went into it with during those first two years. Now I'm on my fifth year, and we are already far in to the season, and it has been very slow. But basically I've been a lazy slob for the last couple of months when it comes to physical exercise, but I did my 2nd session of kayaking for this season one week ago, and yesterday I did some kettlebell-exercises, and today with this amazing kayaking session I just had I feel amazingly strong and fit again. So maybe I should just stick with kayaking simply for the primary benefit of being a really awesome form of physical exercise. So I was kayaking out to an island where our local bhajan/mantra group was hanging out for the day and evening, and oh my gosh, it was so amazing to arrive there. They were swimming, jumping from cliffs, sun-bathing, having nice conversations, and we starting drumming and singing mantras and even went for a forest-walk. This was just really, really perfect. Coming there, good and warm from having paddled for 45 min in this perfect sunny weather, I just melted totally into the experience. When the leader in this group started playing flute I felt like I was at an ayahuasca ceremony. There where lots of other boat-people around us who where also out enjoying the nice weather and hanging out on this island, and they were clapping and cheering for the music we made, so it was like we had this really nice and appreciative audience for this pop-up event. I've been talking a more active role in both drumming and singing lately, so it was really nice to feel that I could influence this group positively with my energy today. And then when the time came to kayak back home it felt like bliss to glide through the water. Back in the house of the kayak-club, I took a nice warm shower, and ended it with a cold one. This is one of the absolutely most awesome experiences I've had of kayaking so far. So from feeling like a lazy slob only a few days ago, and even today before I decided to go to this event, to feeling super-empowered. Wow. This is the reason I've been taking it so seriously to also document my kayaking-project in the light of my meditation-journal.

I'm doing this to make me happy. I want to achieve such and such so I can be happy. I want to have sex to feel good. I don't want to feel lonely. I want to feel loved. I need a partner to satisfy me. I'm suffering. I want to make more money. I feel like i'm not good enough. How can I be more happy. What would make me happier. How can I achieve happiness. I need less to make me happy. I want more to feel happy. Why aren't I happy. Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss. What about sadness. What about sorrow. What about despair and hopelessness. What about these other emotions. Don't we talk about integration. We say we're all about truth. These are also truths. Why abandon them. Why the bias. Why only seek happiness and leave sadness behind. I want to feel sad. I want to feel hopeless. I want to feel despair and horror. Why not say these things too. Why leave them out. Can't have one without the other. We seek truth but only what serves us. Sadness is also an emotion, yet we seek happiness and don't want to feel sadness. I want truth, we say, yet when we feel sad, we don't like it. We feel happy and we're ecstatic. Do you want truth or do you want what makes you feel good. Suffering is truth. Sadness is truth. Why run from it. Why try to escape it. You don't want truth, you can't handle truth.

World/birth/death/universe/body/thoughts are attachments. Thoughtlessness/Source/Being is what You really are. Enlightenment has immersive effect on the so called brain. İllusion continues, however, You are not attached to it, not attach to body. When one realizes body just needs to eat and drink water, it is all about it. İn 24 hours, You just need to think maybe 1-2 minutes. Moreover, when one doesn't think and flow with the moment even 10 seconds, it has immerse affect in so called brain. After that, instead of living in human body within the world, You live as the moment within the Source. Instead of knowledge, there is just moment, which can not be comprehend, understand or analyze. Because, the knowledge is created by brain. Moment is bliss and compassion. İt is already there, no effort needed. Even thinking (which creates the so called self) needs an effort, which is much weight. Attachment with a word brings back entire duality. Effortlessness is the key that opens the gateless gate. Much love and respect to everyone.