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Today I woke up pretty depressed, but I didn’t allow negative thoughts to take over me. I knew that the negativity stemmed from not exercising yesterday. Even though my knees were still hurting, I decided to weightlift anyway. Throughout the workout, I was feeling pissed about my knee and the pain I have been feeling. And I also second-guessed myself a lot, because I fear I am doing the exercises incorrectly. After the gym, I came home and I had lunch with my sister. I was a lot in my head, so I could barely interact with her. Then I was searching about a knee protection. I was so desperate to use my body that I almost went to the mall to buy one and use the elliptical in the gym. I can sense how exercising is fundamental for my well-being, and if I don’t do it, my anxiety hits the roof. After a while, I realized that I could swim in the pool I have in my house. I thought, “How didn’t I think about this before?” Then I swam for about an hour. And as I was doing it, I'd transfer my anxiety and overthinking into the swimming. And it worked wonders. I feared I was overdoing it, but I don’t think I did. The only discomfort I felt was in my shoulder and a tiny bit in my right knee, but I am pretty sure it was because of the weightlifting. I think weightlifting is doing me more harm than good. I believe there are safer ways to get in touch with my body. After swimming, I was feeling very peaceful. And I became mindful of how anxious I normally am. I was shocked. My mind is always thinking ahead. This doesn't work at all. Then, I did something I hadn’t done in a while: I cleaned my room. I wasn't rushing to finish it; instead, I tidied up in a calm and focused way. The inner transformation I witnessed in my self today made me even question if anti-depressants are effective with me. To be honest, I am looking forward to swimming tomorrow. The only downside of it is that my hair gets dry. I think it's pretty safe as far as injuries go. Another reason why I felt achy today is that I am not adapting to my new bed. Even though I am not feeling 100% well, I am pretty optimistic and hopeful that I might be into something good. It’s as if in the last decade, I have been searching lots of crazy places to find a way to heal my body and mind, and the solution was right under my nose: sports.

I agree that not everyone is equally predisposed to spiritual growth. If anyone's discouraged by this, I'd like to make some points, based on my journey so far, that perhaps could be motivating. - I've found that spiritual growth is distinctly more pliable than other pursuits and with a good approach, you won't struggle as much with things like plateauing or arrested development. -The more you progress the more natural things will become. You will have fewer issues, more clarity, and surrender comes more and more naturally. Not to mention with experience, if you've learned well, you tend not to get so caught up in stumbling blocks, and you'll develop a stronger feel for the kinds of things (behaviors, choices, circumstances) that are conducive to growth. -Your physiology will adapt as you become more conscious (I'm not sure about the limitations). Purifying the mind and energetic system will make it healthier and more efficient. Your baseline predisposition to clarity, insight, wisdom, surrender, etc. is malleable. -While there are general trends and characteristics that across the board are more conducive to awakening, which people may naturally possess to differing degrees, there is a huge amount of variety in people's personal characteristics, and you may find that something which is holding your talent back gets resolved, and then you may progress much more easily. Not saying anyone was discouraging here, but I thought this could be beneficial in case anyone felt that way. Our capacity for transformation is huge.

Gurus who never did any business in their lives will not know anything about business. They try to go straight into self-transcendence skipping through the good points of stage orange. (I find that this is an important topic, so I made a video request here.) They don't know the difference between a stock and a startup. One is investing on the outside, and the other is investing on the inside. One is like gambling if you don't know what you're doing, and the other is not. Enlightenment itself, if the guru has it, only gives you the wisdom of why we are one, and the transformation back into your ego. Does it point to profound insights of life? Sure. But, it doesn't go into details of life--like, how to do business and earn money. That, you have to figure out yourself.

What I've noticed is that watching Leo's videos makes me frustrated and angry at the world. Although incredibly powerful for inner growth, it has a tendency to make me overly intellectual and stuck in my head when relating to others. I've always thought of Leo as lacking 'that special something' when compared to the charisma of a mystic such as Alan Watts, Rupert Spira, etc...That is until he came back from his 30-day retreat. There's this little glint in his eyes that sparks that same feeling of presence now. Obviously nowhere near the same degree as those I mentioned above but Fucken christ, the man's moving into turquoise!!I Leo if you're reading this, I'm genuinely happy for you. You're a lot more authentic than you were before and it really shows. I cant speak for anyone else but I would be a lost puppy had I never found actualized.org. You are a beam of light in this dark age, thanks for everything.

72/365 I had to make a small tweak in the sentences stems. The wording was a clash with that Neville Goddard stuff I like to listen to. I want to not only feel aware but I want to feel inspired to a higher expression sooooo some of the wording was not quite right. Words like “if” in my brain made me feel like I was putting off my transformation and actions into the future. This is a direct conflict with embodiment— goes back to the cognitive dissonance video I did early on with this work. Anything we aspire to be, we must embody NOW even if it’s bumpy and ugly. This is how we learn everything. We learn to walk by walking, we become masters of our craft by doing our craft not studying it. This was just my reflection on why I needed to change up the sentence stems— I was feeling punked out kinda with that wording because I know that doesn’t work for me. It’s the same as beginning with the end in mind. Anything projected into the future verbally or in our minds usually ends up staying there. When I reflect on what it means to use everything I know What it means to use everything I know means that I be not do Using everything I know is to utilize my speech and thoughts to reinforce my vision Everything is energy doing and failing is better than not doing = nose bleed seats I sleep Playing the game Playing my game Being a match to everything in my journal and vision When I take full responsibility for my choices and actions I live into my choices and make them from my gut I already do this but where am I not doing this? I am more married to my schedule I focus on health, growth and feeling good in my skin I embody my highest expression and take ownership I can choose wtf I want even when that sneaking feeling of obligation comes up I don’t need to explain I reflect acceptance back to every part of me When I take full responsibility for how I deal with people I seek to understand I listen for what they aren’t saying I can practice self love through other I can be patient with the talkers I can be honest with the talkers I can be fully present and not escaping into mind movies I can listen with all of my senses WHen I remain in full mental focus every moment today it feels good because I know this is the way for me I practice and get stronger every day I experience now and not the clock I get to be authentic and not in thoughts I keep bring myself back as needed I get more done from a place of flow and play I am in awe of how everything is just right I am so grateful When I am creating from a place customers trust and admire my company I am transparent and honest I don’t waste words, time or create filler I keep it real with myself first I trust and admire the company and create from there I don’t hide I live into the vision of ten years from now I teach, work and create from seeing their highest version I share my experience and how I am seeing from their end

The important distinction here that only you can be honest and truthful about with yourself is, do you believe your consciousness as an idea, or do you know deeply. Its when you know deeply that you can just allow/surrender let all the ego stories, bodily tendencies, traumas/karma's still present to continue to exist, and allow for a transformation/transcendence to unfold that will take time, but is rooted in the deep realization of your true face. Does any of this resonate? If not, keep with a practice of looking into the stories of what you believe you are, and the stories that continue to keep you in fear or cause suffering to you or others and see them for what they are. Maybe this video will help...

the strange insanity of being human. Aaaaaagh, I'm scared! I'm afraid of what's to come. I'm afraid of being vulnerable. I'm afraid of admitting my flaws. I'm afraid of having deep heart connections with people. I'm afraid of my own power. I'm afraid of travel. I'm afraid of sharing my work. I'm afraid of letting go of my current trapeze bar to grab the next, and that brief span of time where I'm in mid air. But little does my body know, the trapeze bars are illusory and I've been in mid-air my entire life. Also running rampant lately are what Matt Kahn says are the four signs that transformation is occurring: frustration, boredom, confusion, and loneliness. I'm frustrated with my current living situation, bored with the work because it doesn't align with me anymore, confused about my purpose, and lonely as hell. The loneliness not only stems from the fact that conversing with people up here feels like conversing with people from a different dimension; it also comes from my reluctance to be vulnerable. I'm in a weird in-between phase where a part of me wants to move towards the next chapter, and the other part is terrified and wants to pout and stall as much as possible. Like a cicada wanting to break out of its old shell, while simultaneously wanting to stay safe and miserable inside of it. The strange insanity of being human...This is nothing new to me, though. Discomfort is uncomfortable, and that's okay. All feelings are welcome in JJ's House.

Hey again, kind of crazy, and a little auspicious, this girl made a video after i said basically the same thing. but you should check it out cause she does an amazing job explaining it. plus her energies r pretty amazing too. look at the space between here brows. like the bridge of the nose. and how massive it is. that's basically the goal here for all of us, is expanding that space. is to open your body and ultimately get your third eye cranked to a level like that. which is basically going to take a ton of time in detoxing/ growth. but when it gets there. basically you will be able to raise ur vibrations, transcending your lower energy centres and actually be able to experience dmt or phsycadelic types of experiences at will, and fully and depper than you ever will by taking the drugs from an external source. all the stuff i mentioned in my original post will get you there, but obviously it takes a long time, and like calvin woolridge says, “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race(or cocnciosuness).” i feel like phsychadelics can get you there too. but basically ur going to have to dump the toxins associoated with what u release in the trip. and i feel like(and have expereicned in the past) if u do psychs it happens in nasty painful ways like getting super sick or getting bumps on your skin and or like shit getting crazy in your life, or random accidents leading you to injury( i have had this, the universe seems likes to make you learn things in a conscious space, hence the reason u forget alot of what happens in the trip, especially say like smoking dmt). like I've had experiences like that when i did them in the past. one time after my last mushroom trip i went into a competely unconcious state, and ripped a huge hole in my shoulder, on a nail in the wall, which for me was crazy and never happens. so maybe the phsychs can help you touch those deeper layers and you can actually deal with some deeply seeded traumas/in-completions in the emotional/etheric/nirvanic layers. but the toxins/blockages in your system in your system connected to those, will have to come out, and the growing pains are going to be way worse than say hitting the gym, massaging your soreness away, or rinsing the dirt out of your nasal cavity. and that might mean some pretty nasty stuff. but yeah i have no idea really whats good or bad with psychs, this is all my intuitive mind and experiences speaking here, but hopefully this information can help you make your own educated decisions on whether it is useful or not. I also just know enlightened beings, like Nithyandna, sadguru, eckhart tolle, ect ect. usually say its better to go au natural. and they live in those layers we are experiencing with phsychadelic drugs, so if you have done phsychs, think of all the crazy insights and experiences you have had, and think of all the ones u forgot, or never truly understood. these enlightened beings actually have lived them to the deepest levels, and are exploring stuff we may never actually ever experience( and will never share this with us cause, lets face it, most peoples egos will just reject it and turn it into painful experiences for them sharing it) in this life and are actually connected to them at will. they can literally just meditate, do shimbavi, for 10 minutes and they are there. or even better, and this is why the guru is the most valuable thing u can do(and if u go the route of phsychs they may tell you this as well). if your energy space( or blockages in your chakras) is clear enough they can transmit that energy to you, and kundalini can rise hard, burning your karmas and unblocking your ssyetm. and based on what your system can handle you can basically get there too(naturally release and produce your own dmt). i don't know how aware of energy fields you are. but its kind of like this. say u meditate solo, your energy on your own can say hit 10V of energy. now lets say you meditate with 10 other people around the same consciousness as yourself. each person contributes 10V. collectively, you actually individually accumulate energies and every one of you will host(if its within your threshold) the cumulative energies so like 100V(collective energy) vs 10V(solo energies). but there's going to be a max(based on your blockages) also based on your threshhold. but also meditating with higher energies can move this threshold up. basically what we r doing every time we r dumping toxins or working out or meditating or whatever we are doing to expand our consciousness. So basically the guru is at an insane energy level cause they r enlightened(all their karemas from this life have been burned, and they r into some insane high level states of consciousness and always expanding, it goes infinitely after-all). so lets say like 1,000,000 volts. basically they can transmit whatever u can handle cause they have crazy energies, beyond your threshold, and if ur lucky u release some dmt, in your pineal gland(third eye) and actually can have a crazy transformation, in the deepest layer(nirvanic).. kind of like taking the drugs too your basically raising ur energies to crazy level too. but than ur entering the real world after and u haven't fully processed everything, and ur not really in a space that will support that growth(the maya matrix of our low energy society, fueled by greed and fear). so that's when it gets dangerous and ego backlash and shit can hit the fan. especially if those experiences make you excited and or depressed taking you really out of the moment, creating unconsciousness in and around yourself. which also can make you re absorb more toxins and actually doing harm to your system. anyways just stuff to think about. if you have any more questions please ask. i enjoy trying to answer them, and of course im not god or enlightened, or even very conscious(still got lots of energy stuck in my root), and i may be wrong(or barely scratching the surface) with everything im saying. but that's how we learn after all.

This is why I call you guys non dual keyboard warriors. Thats not true at all. You can meet many enlightened people who are awake as fuck in India who are still very ethnocentric Stage Blue people. You understand that Albert Einstein didn’t reach Yellow by having nondual experiences. You realize this right? Spiral Dynamics is about how your sense of self becomes more and more all inclusive and yes that does eventually lead require spiritual work once you reach higher stages in order to keep developing. This idea (and it is an idea - false one at that) that the only way you go from say Orange to Green is through enlightenment experiences is just flat out not true. Go to San Francisco where I live and you tell me that these people needed a nondual experience to go to Green lol. Do you understand that you still have a self? It’s not who are you but you have one. Spiral Dynamics is tracking how all inclusive that is. What @purerogue is saying about Wilber is correct. Psychotherapy today is largely a very Green practice these days with practices like DBT, CBT, etc. These practices actually help a lot of people move into Green. You can see that transformation in people and then people more open to love, self-acceptance and even more compassionate and soft with other people and also more open to the relativity and pluralism which is actually very much needed for A LOT of Stage Orange & Blue people. Wilber acknowledges this and this is what he’s addressing. Psychotherapy helps really ramp people in their awareness in the lower stages. Also it’s a necessary tool and there’s DOZENS of psycbotherapeutic techniques that work great in conjunction with deep spiritual work in the modern day. You have a self. You always will have a self so long as you operate in this relative world of illusion. Or we can call it embodied perspective. It’s not what you are but you have it and will have it until this self “dies.” If you want to be in denial of that, be my guest lol. How all inclusive is it? How many shadows does it have? How ideological is it? What beliefs are still there? What emotional buttons does it have? Enlightenment experiences and even liberation does not grant human perfection upon you. You can be deeply enlightened and still be an emotional child. Psycbotherapy has its problems and it’s blunders in the way it’s practiced and by the practitioners themselves. Granted. So are spiritual teachers though. If you think there isn’t bullshit in spirituality and even spiritual masters, man... would that be a joke lol.

Practice Teaching platform and back porch hangout for current Journalers. In the latest video Leo said a good way to become a better student is to try teaching. in the video he also mentioned the word 'should' several times stressing how it hems us in. In the past I've heard that the word should is a strong indication of the active intrusion of the superego. Earlier in life I wish I had had a better understanding of super ego. So I thought a worthwhile subject to teach would be about the Superego. We don't grow up and become fully responsible for our own actions until we stand up to the super ego that became fixed into our conditioning. Ive heard it defined as the inner coercive agency representing a child's early caregivers. This energy needs to be reclaimed for fueling Actualization or spiritual transformation. The first definition I encountered online this evening-- su·per·e·go /ˌso͞opərˈēɡō/ noun PSYCHOANALYSIS the part of a person's mind that acts as a self-critical conscience, reflecting social standards learned from parents and teachers. "the father is the model for the superego"

I don't think that emotions are something we do or something that is done to us by others. They are more like a by-product of a situation. People mix with each other and with circumstances and it results in various kinds of energies. These energies are then transformed and expressed through us as arousal or fear for example. When we let those feelings to get to the mind, we become reactive. I think that personality is what decides how energies are expressed. Frankly, the more I let myself be a vessel for transformation of energy, the more easily I get aroused if the opportunity presents itself .

@Joseph Maynor I am not sure anymore if I understand the stages correctly. There are state-stages which are stages of themselves and the growth stages of development which for me include the multiple intelligence(especially including the cognitive perspective-taking aspect) theory, including things like values which is mapped in spiral dynamics. So, I want to differentiate these two aspects. Or one could look at them as two separate structures of development. State stages are independent of structure stages, yet can be reached as a permanent, yet are interpreted through the lens of one's growth stage development. So, a blue experience of a non-dual experience would be most likely interpreted as mythic literal. God did do this to me. There is only one god he told me xyz. God gave me this book and told me to create this religion, all other religions are false, if they don't believe in one god. etc. I bet there are better examples. I can write down how it is mapped out, but the only reference point I have is the ones I chiseled for myself and the ones I am copying from the book now. Preface/Preliminary remark Vision-Logic (which includes teal and turquoise)" Not very important for those not familiar. Moral span is considered as what is deemed worthy of moral consideration. Above teal (turquoise) World view: cross-paradigmatic, developmentalism as a world process (integralism) Moral span: all humans without exception. Seeing not only hierarchies but healthy hierarchies and in total holarchies. Detects harmonics, mystical forces, pervasive flow states that permeate any organization. Unites feeling with knowledge. Universal order in a living conscious fashion instead of a blue or green external rule and group orientation. Holding up the mirror to society. Values: global order and renewal. Experiences the wholeness of experience through mind an spirit. Self-identity + What is important: Highly aware of the complexity of meaning-making, systemic interactions, and dynamic processes. Seeks personal and spiritual transformation and supports others in their life quests; creates events that become mythical and reframe the meaning of situations. may understand “ego” as a “central processing unit” that actively creates a sense of identity; increasingly sensitive to the continuous “re-storying” of who one is; may recognize ego as most serious threat to future growth; continually attend to interaction among thought, action, feeling, and perception as well as influences from and effects on individuals, institutions, history and culture; treat time and events as symbolic, analogical, metaphorical (not merely linear, digital, literal); may feel rarely understood in their complexity by others. Reframes turns inside out, upside-down, clowning, holding up a mirror to society. often works behind the scenes. Affect levels: world-centric altruism teal-centered (yellow) Integrates multiple contexts, paradigmatic. Moral span all humans without exception. (counts also for green in total, green, yellow, turquoise). Self-identity + what is important: Life is a kaleidoscope of natural hierarchies (holarchies which include heterarchies). Flexibility, spontaneity, and functionality have the highest priority. Differences and pluralities can be integrated into interdependent flows (integration and disintegration instead of association and dissociation IMO! see politics especially germans diversity of parties in context with the true "meaning" of pluralism and dissemination of power) Egalitarianism is complemented with natural degrees of excellence where appropriate. Knowledge and competence should supersede, rank, power, status or the group! (yes please). World order is a result of the existence of different levels of reality (memes) and the inevitable patterns of moving up and down the dynamic spiral. Good governance facilitates the emergence of entities through the levels of increasing complexity (nested hierarchy). Comprehends multiple interconnected systems of relationships and processes; able to deal with conflicting needs and duties in constantly shifting contexts; recognizes the need for autonomy while parts of a system are interdependent; recognizes higher principles, social construction of reality, complexity and interrelationships; problem finding not just creative problem solving; aware of paradox and contradiction in system and self; sensitive to unique market niches, historical moment, larger social movements; creates “positive-sum” games; aware of own power (and perhaps tempted by it); seeks feedback from others and environment as vital for growth and making sense of world. Affect levels: "compassion"(green), all-human love(green-yellow), world-centric altruism(yellow-tourquise) IMO or I am retarded reading the map. THIRD TIER! Psychic: (which is coral in my humble opinion and has been called indigo in the past) Characteristic: union with world process, nature mysticism, gross nature unity. Main focus: Being, non-controlling consciousness; witnessing flux of experience and states of mind. Emergence of a perspective that is ego-transcendent or universal; people holding this stage of consciousness seem to “…experience themselves and others as part of ongoing humanity, embedded in the creative ground, fulfilling the destiny of evolution” (Cook-Greuter, 2002); consciousness ceases to appear as a constraint but rather as one more phenomenon that can be foreground or background; an integration of feelings of belongingness and separateness occurs; multiple points of view can be taken effortlessly; the pattern of constant flux and change becomes the context for feeling at home; one is able to respect the essence in others, no matter how different they may be; one is in tune with their life’s work as “a simultaneous expression of their unique selves” and as part of their shared humanity. Affect levels: awe, rapture, all-species love, compassion Moral span: all earthly beings without exception Subtle: Characteristics: union with creatrix of the gross realm; deity mysticism, subtle realm unity. Moral span -> all sentient beings without exception in all realms without exception ( saintly) Affect levels: Ananda, ecstasy, love-bliss, saintly commitment. Casual: Characteristics: Union with source of manifest realms; formless mysticism Moral span -> all sentient beings without exception in all realms without exception ( saintly) including all manifest and unmanifest reality. (Self-liberation in primordial awareness). The habit of observing the self cease to observe imo. Affect levels: infinite freedom-release, boddhisattvic-compassion. Non-Dual: Characteristic: union of form and formless, Spirit and World Process, non-dual mysticism. Moral span -> all manifest and unmanifest reality. (Self-liberation in primordial awareness) Affect levels: one taste, compassion. I can or did not find more on the topic so far besides reading the traditions who actually practiced it to these levels. But, this even more complex IMO, since it then has to be abstracted towards the development of the most important lines. Cognitive, interpersonal, moral, self-identify, etc. Whatever is the most important. Hopefully, this is useful. Would love to read a summary from others. In case they found different information. Here is the link from the pdf, the rest is from the book integral psychology. https://integralwithoutborders.net/sites/default/files/resources/Overview of Developmental Levels.pdf

@Serotoninluv in integral transformation (audiobook) ken wilber mentions exercise opens up the emotional line. Incase this is not known.. For whatever biochemical reasons.

You wake up early to do the 2 hour SDS sit. And you continue the practice in daily life regardless of whether you have a job or not. You can do 5+ hours of practice in daily life if you are motivated enough. Time-wise, there are no problems. Even a 9-5 job can allow for this schedule. I personally have flexible hours because I have a business. But the issue is whether the skill and motivation is there to pull of such intensities of practice on a daily basis. Once you have the skills developed, managing time is easy. Meditation no longer occurs in life but life occurs in meditation in advanced stages. Also I suggest doing these SDS sits while watching videos and listening to audios at first. (The first 30-60 days) Otherwise, you might not have the motivation to go through so much pain everyday. First, go from 60 to 90 mins. Then go from 90 to 120 mins. If you can do more than 2 hours SDS in cross-legged posture, then all the power to you. Don't do longer SDS sits on a chair because the point is to observe pain with clarity and equanimity. Compared to cross-legged postures, doing a 2+hours of SDS sit on a chair is easier. I think someone can pull that off once or twice with A LOT OF suffering at the end of their first year. But reaching 2 hour SDS in cross-legged with little to no suffering CONSISTENTLY will require a lot of intense daily work for 2-5 years. (in my experience) And it will literally force you to have insight experiences at some point in the practice. Somewhere in that process, the insight into suffering/impermanence will be VERY pronounced. The transformation will occur fairly quickly afterwards if you keep up the practice.

I also think that stream entry is not to be taken lightly. It is definitely possible if you train systematically but this first awakening attainment means that suffering goes away radically AND permanently. So when you wake up in the morning at 6 a.m. and you have to go to work or school, if you think 'Oh I don't want to get up, it is so cold outside' and if you suffer as a result of that, then you are not a stream enterer. When you speak with your family and friends, if you default to relating with people with the self agenda in mind rather than seeing them as yourself, you are not a stream enterer. If sleepiness, pain and frustration breaks up your connection to your sense of no-boundry, then you are not a stream enterer. Awakening has high standards. But this radical change is possible with retreat level practice if you are consistent with it. Again, I'm not a stream enterer. But my experiences are heavily leaning towards this level of attainment. As a practice program, I've trained with Culadasa's breath work and Shinzen Young's noting and gone techniques in daily life. Also added self-enquiry once I've hit Stage 7 in Culadasa's model of samadhi stages. Do these systematically AND intensely. I don't personally see how anyone can get to stream entry with a beginner level practice like 60 mins formal sit with micro hits in daily life. (unless you have a spontaneous awakening out of nowhere without systematic training like Eckhart Tolle which has a very low probability in my opinion). At some point, I highly suggest going up to 90-120 mins SDS sits consistently. That is where my transformation had occurred. Also very deep relaxation and noting practice in daily life helped me continue the momentum of formal sessions. Hope these suggestions help

@Cosmo Don't try to force yourself to settle down. You are still seeking and it is okay. Even if you do settle down, don't expect your marriage to be happy. Expectations are a mistake. Think more in lines of a pressure cooker. Two ingredients meet and interact, bringing about transformation. Sometimes, you get a stew, and sometimes it explodes and you have to scrape it off walls. Unless you're willing to do both - you will always look for somebody else, a perfect ingredient. The only perfection there is, is the unknown outcome - always surprising you when you think you've got it. Being bored with a partner is absolutely normal. If you feel that way, just behave as if you're alone and see how she reacts. I bet it'll be exciting .

I watched Abraham Hicks' video today in which she explained what she meant by the vortex. I think that dreams when they are followed ignorantly are actually a kind of favor. I can see how they can be a force of transformation: We dream and desire We get what we wanted and much more We suffer and adapt to circumstances It's like the masculine is curiosity/survival and the feminine is memory/environment. It's difficult for humans to be the lower self because they have to learn to alternate between the two when following the Tao.

Yes, when I was in college I had to work really hard on health to lose 65 pounds. I was really fat my whole life. I still went to college, so it wasn't 100% of my time, but it took a lot of attention and willpower to acheive that transformation and make it stick. Starting my first business and quitting my job. It's basically impossible to become wealthy without learning business, sales, and marketing and being very serious about business. Business does not tolerate bullshit and wishful thinking. You must deliver hard results or you're dead. Most people cannot handle that. It's brutal. See my video: Small Business Advice.

From what I know, the "elephant in the room" that no one notices also relates to spirituality/non-duality. Those quotes are relative truths. The No-self (Nothingness) is without embodiment (no body), and no phenomenon (without an external environment), and when you become it, you're fully conscious of it. However, the "elephant in the room" is "empty space." It's "thin air." It has no embodiment, but it has a phenomenon. Enlightenment is the No-self, but it also involves transformation back into your ego. And yes, part of it, you become the "elephant in the room." Another name for it is the "observing self."

@now is forever I said it before in previous threads/posts. The best I could describe it is: You become nothingness / no-self. You don't have a body, no embodiment. There is no phenomenon, no external world or universe. And, all in all, you're aware of it, fully conscious of it. Then, you make a transformation into the entire universe, and you're aware if it. You are it--everything / everythingness. Then you transform back into your body (ego). You realize that the entire world is also you. When you make this transformation, it's called Riding the Ox Backwards. You're this massive black hole from an ego's perspective. See, if you want me to explain further, it'll be a booklet. I don't want to write a book here. In my explainations, I'll also have to include how I came to know about this--my detective work. I rather tell this in 3rd person.

I've really thought about this a lot when it comes to contemplating my Life Purpose and boy is this something that's going to be messy. Now that we're in a world that DEMANDS and integral approach to spirituality, psychology, philosophy, human transformation, science, politics, and planetary restoration and also now that 5-MeO-DMT and other psychedelics is becoming slowly but surely more talked about... I really can't help but contemplate how an integral spiritual infrastructure could really be built, particularly in Western, 1st world, secular countries. What excites me is that all the tools seem to be there. Granted, legality of psychedelics of course is still a big issue. However, as far as I'm concerned, I think even that obstacle could still be worked around. The practices are all out there, the psychedelics that help most for consciousness work are out there as far as what are the one's to use (again, acquisition of such substances is another matter right now). When I look at popular sages and spiritual leaders like Sadhguru (I'm going to use him & India as my example in this post because he's just such a good, yet rare, example) I see someone and something truly extraordinary. I see someone who clearly is a masterful 2nd tier systems thinker. He's able to influence and talk to an enlightened yogi whose been in a cave for 15 years (Blue/Purple), economic and political titans (Orange), rational left brained scientists (Orange/Yellow), rural masses (Blue), kids as far down as elementary school, urbanites in their 20s pursuing sex/materialism (Orange), and attract the liberal hippies from afar (Green). You can even see in his talks and discourses he talks to all of them differently. He's even able to lead his sannyasis and he's actually very integral and 2nd tier in his approach by creating a system within his ashram where he can bring in both men and women and have an environment that seems to unite them all and even lead conscious restoration projects. It's fucking incredible that one man can lead all that in yet still have 1 month out of the year to spend in the Himalayas each year (read that in his biography). At the same time though (not even getting into his good fortune of his full enlightenment at the age of 25 - past 3 lifetime of work... as far as I'm concerned I don't see why this can't be the case), look at how fucking rare a person like that is. Someone who can withstand that workload, has that strong interpersonal and 2nd tier leadership skills, is as masterful and downright talented he is in the domain of spirituality as he is (beyond his depth of psychic proficiency and so much more, which as far as my research goes, is fucking off the charts if it really is true), not having gotten power hungry, the degree to which he succeeded in terms of impact on the world, etc. Also consider that he's in a country that has over 5000 years of spiritual infrastructure/foundation! There's a spiritual science there for building fuckin' temples at how to utilize them as energy centers for human beings (Agamas Shastras). I personally agree with @Leo Gura (which I think he hammers home on better than even than Ken Wilber) on the point that spirituality and really, the world at large, must go integral and evolve and include and embrace technologies such as psychedelics and specifically 5-Meo-DMT, EEG technology, what's to come with AI, etc. and also embrace other personal development schools, schools of psychology, science, art, philosophical schools, etc. which A LOT of these teachers reject because their whole impact is based around creating a particular niche school which excludes other things! Can you imagine going into a Zen monastery in Japan and trying to convince a Zen master whose been in a certain school that 5-Meo-DMT can get you to realize Nothingness in 30 min or less and that it's a much faster and more efficient tool than grinding for decades (which is not to dismiss work ethic or portray 5-MeO-DMT as some quick fix) that, for most people who down that path, produces a semi deep awakening at best? He'd keisaku your ass out of there. Hell, I would imagine even Sadhguru would dismiss it as a perfectly legitimate path. Even Ralston, a deeply enlightened master here in the West that seems to have no real attachment any spiritual system or spiritual culture and grew up a lot here in the San Francisco where I live dismisses psychedelics! What happens when the human guru is replaced with a syringe and powder made in a chemistry lab? How likely is that guru to either accept that or end up abusing that? Not to mention, the more integral you get, the more you'll have to realize that each person is of course different in their unique set of problems, their strengths and talents, emotional blockages, personality types, interests, etc. which of course undermines a set and stone system/school/tradition because the whole point of tradition/school/system is that it's different from all the others, even just from a business standpoint. Not to mention, the larger the school and the more people you draw in, the more you'll have to dilute your teachings, practices, and the Greater Jihad to fit the masses. Granted, going back to Sadhguru, I think he's being smart by having his ashram where he leads sanyasins where he goes balls to the wall with them so that when he dies, he's planted seeds that will live on after him. Even with that though, look at how much corruption, dilution, shenanigans, and the collapse in the quality of the school after the main leader passes on. What happens when Sadhguru's vision just becomes some ideological moral objective for his followers in 100 years that blindly follow that rather than think for themselves? What happens when you're school falls behind in it's spiral stage and grows out of date and becomes obsolete and eventually becomes regressive relative to where the rest of the world is? This is not even mentioning the work that comes with transcending cultural paradigms. Lastly, how on earth does a spiritual infrastructure get built in a country like say in the USA where our culture is not one of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, but one of consumerism? We (I live in the USA so this is just an easier way for me to frame this) live in a country that as far as my (subpar) analysis and assessment goes seems to just be emulating the same pattern that lead to the fall of Ancient Greece. On the global macro scale, the USA is a baby country as far as it's age goes. If I were to equate this with a business example, we seem to be like just one giant MLM that's been parasitic on not just the earth but to other world cultures and countries. It's like a business who just aims for profits for the short and mid-term at all costs and get's wealthy in the beginning and stays there for awhile because its Orange, it's strategic enough to stay on top. In the end though the business falls apart because it wasn't based on those timeless principles longer lasting principles that undermine short-term growth. Not to mention, we don't even recognize our culture that much because consumerism is much harder to see relative to a lot of other world cultures. For better and worse, we have such a massive influence on the rest of the world. People in other countries (particularly in the 3rd world of course) still idolize America and wish to come over here for opportunity and a chance for them as an individual to thrive at Stage Orange and make something of themselves. We infect the world with our ideology and image of consumerism and Stage Orang mindset. Taking a step though, there are A LOT of pluses with that. So I'm not saying this to just bash Orange and the USA. Orange is multiplistic. It helped science and a lot of other fields and industries to really unfold which a lot of these countries really desperately need. It brought opportunity and set the stage for individuals to revolutionize and rebel against the excesses that came with Blue. At the same time though, we seem to be in a place without a strong nor up to date spiritual/metaphysical foundation/infrastructure which I think is really one of our primary achilles heels when it comes to the survival of this country and also the world since the United States is such an influential powerhouse. What happens to a family when the only breadwinner is dad and mom is a housewife and the kids follows dad no matter what because of the power disparity he has and dad is also a raging alcoholic that beats his wife and kids and gets away with it because he's the most powerful one in the house but eventually becomes so neurotic and dysfunctional because of his of his dysfunctional ego that he ends up in jail or dies in a drunk driving accident? Or if mom eventually decides to fight back and comes at him with a baseball bat? Is that really going to make the family any better? Or will that lead to the collapse of the family entirely? I don't know...

3-30-2019 28 The Preponderance of the Great line 5 32 Duration Line 5 councils me not to take on others Fate Some interesting commentary from hexagram 32 Duration: Unlike Cosmic Reality, the parallel reality created by the collective ego does not endure because it is based in the mistaken ideas and beliefs about the Cosmic Way. When a Person, through holding to such mistaken ideas and beliefs violates the Cosmic Harmony, the Cosmos responds with Fate. Fate is part of the law of physics, and has the purpose of restoring this Cosmic Harmony and of helping a person return to unity with the Cosmos. It does so by decreasing the ego in him, thus bringing him back to humility. The parallel reality is characterized by changes. These changes are brought about by the use of power on the part of humans and the Cosmic response to it in the form of Fate. Among the main mistaken ideas and beliefs that create the parallel reality are the presumptions that humans are at the center of the universe changes are the rule of life Nature operates through opposite forces to propel changes time is linear, having a beginning and an end the universe works on mechanical principles the Cosmos has a hierarchical order All of these ideas create discordant fields of consciousness which compete with the Cosmic Order and its Principles of Harmony. They separate humans from Cosmic Unity. When Fate is not recognized as help from the Cosmos to make a person aware of his mistaken ideas and beliefs, but is taken as Cosmic "punishment," the blame he puts on the Cosmos creates a new fate, thus perpetuating the misfortune. Note: The new I CHING; The Oracle of the Cosmic Way, shows how transformation, not change, is the true way of Nature, including human nature. This correlates with the Fourth Way philosophy that says in work on oneself, forced change doesn't endure in the way transformation does regarding ones being. Transformation of being instead of change of being.

I'm not questioning experienced depth, but how transforming and reverberating chemically induced trips are. What I can't rule off with psychedelics is that the euphoria, the experienced depth, the experienced infinite love are just chemically induced effects, not so different than alcohol making some people euphoric and all loving. The transformative effect that Leo is claiming may be caused by the lingering chemically induced euphoria. And it can last a long time, I did LSD quite a bit and I could still feel the emotional impact and instability it had for months after stoping taking it. I know he's going to say that his emotional state is not chemicaly induced but due to what he realized and witnessed in his trips but what I am saying is precisely that this emotional state is not due to that but to the chemical effect of 5meodmt just like alcohol can do that. Basically I'm going full circle because that's extactly how dogmatic people would dismiss psychedelic trips stating that's it's all "just a drug induced trip messing with brain chemistry". After LSD experiences I thought that the euphoria is caused by the truth of those experiences but after witnessing the lack of long lasting, pragmatic, transformation I went full circle hypothetizing that after all this euphoria is indeed chemically induced. Now at the end of the day whether we claim things or not we are still pursuing the same thing, it may be more clever for oneself to give in into the illusion that he's making progress along the path rather than favouring the witnessing of stagnation. Anyway the life is unfolding so better to see the upside rather than the downside but what we really want is truth. Sure it's nice having those trips, but are those trips contained in Leo's life or is Leo's life contained in the truth revealed by those trips ? During the trip it seems that Leo's life is contained in the infinite godhead but when coming out of the trip we wan't to survive to have more of those trips. So which perspective is right ? Keep oscillating between the two perspectives like the cosinus function and tell me if you get the truth of it.

That distinction is somewhat moot. A Zen student strives very hard before and even after awakening. According to your logic you would say that all Zen is artificial. And by that standard all spirituality and all growth is artificial. Which is not a good view. Seeking to embody and to be more fully conscious of God is not artificial, it is a natural part of this whole awakening and self-transformation process. How else could it be? When transformation happens in you, you feel it. I am not saying that I am 100% transformed. It's not different than after any meditation retreat. You would be back, you would be somewhat transformed, but you would also still mostly be the old you. And you will have to work to embody the stuff you learned and realized during your retreat. Radical transformation does not happen over night. Realigning the mind is like realigning teeth with braces. In practice, to become fully God-realized will require some force and some contrivance. It is not going to be an effortless, purely organic process.

@Leo Gura What I don't understand is how can you claim so quickly that those awakenings experiences transformed you ? Personaly when I was tripping I had few powerful experiences that I thought transformed me but after a few time I saw that I was always going back to baseline, so now I never claim that something transformed me, I would have to clearly see a change in my daily experience or behavior for an extended period of time -at least a year- for me to acknowledge a transformation and even then I would have to be honest on whether this change is really organic or artificially maintained through striving. This seems very basic to me, don't you see that ?